Wedding Blog
With the holidays approaching, we are starting to hear the questions we get every year. “Are you coming here for Thanksgiving?” “Whose turn is it for Christmas Eve?” “Where will you be Christmas Day?”
Mr. Fondue and I have been splitting holidays between our families since our second holiday season together. Typically, we go to one family for Thanksgiving and Christmas Day and the other gets Christmas Eve. The next year, it switches. Our families know this, but I still sometimes feel we are disappointing one or both of them when it’s not our turn to go there for a certain holiday. Admittedly, even I sometimes feel that way. I love his family, but it’s still not the same as spending the holidays with my own. We have very specific traditions, and I feel like I’m missing out when I’m not there. I’m sure Mr. Fondue feels that way as well sometimes.
We currently live pretty much exactly in the middle, with my parents being about an hour and a half northwest and his parents being about two hours east of us. Our hopes are that when we have children, everyone will come to our house for Christmas, because we will want our kids to wake up at home on Christmas morning. I’m really looking forward to not having to worry about traveling all over the state and to starting our own holiday traditions.
How do you split the holidays between your families? Do you ever feel torn between them?
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This will be the first year that my FI and I will be splitting the holidays, but we are going to spend both holidays with his family and then mine on the same day, so we have a lot of traveling to do. Thank God, I took some time off of work! LOL!
The holidays have been a concern of mine for some time now, and we’ve been dating for 5 years! We’ve always just gone home to our respective families and then, exchanged gifts after the holidays, but now that we’re getting married next year, I don’t know what we’ll do. Our parents don’t live ANYWHERE near each other where we could possibly split the holidays into Eve/Day, and I’m so close to my sister, I think it would be weird not to spend the holidays with her. I’m curious to hear what everyone else is doing too!
We moved to my hometown (from our college town) right before getting married and live about 15 minutes from my parents. My mom’s parents (my only living grandparents) live about half an hour away. However, my husband’s family is all at least 3 hours west of us. We trade off Thanksgiving, spend one year with my family, one year with his. His family has always done the big celebration on Christmas eve and my family has always done the big celebration on Christmas day. Last year, we were able to drive out a few days before Christmas eve and spend it with his family and then drove home late on Christmas eve to see my family on Christmas day. Because of my work schedule, it looks like this year we have to pick one family for Christmas, so we are spending it with his family since my family is getting us for Thanksgiving. It’s a constant give and take, trying to keep it fair between the two families. It’s hard but necessary.
Once we have kids, we will have to completely reevaluate the situation and see how we want to handle it at that point. When we were younger and my dad’s parents were still alive, we would spend Christmas eve with one side, Christmas day with the other and trade the next year. We were so blessed that both sets of grandparents lived in the same city and we were only 30 minutes away from them.
We live far from both our families so we’re on our own for Thanksgiving. My FI’s family only gets together on Christmas Eve. My family does stuff both days (either with my mom or dad’s side) so we spend Christmas Day with my family.
It makes it easy on everyone that his family has always done the same thing, so we don’t have to pick and choose!
We stay home for Thanksgiving, and my parents spend it with us. We also stay home for Christmas, and his mother, sister, and brother spend it with us - my parents spend it visiting my sister and her husband, who live halfway across the country. This is influenced by the fact that my sister has produced the world’s most adorable baby (18 months this Christmas) and also that my husband’s two children live with us. My sister and her husband used to do the holiday travel back-and-forth with his folks and our folks, but quit that after the baby. Interestingly enough I think my parents are the ones that feel guilty about the arrangement, but they live a block away - so my feeling is that we get them anytime we want, and if they want to spend every Christmas with my sister and her husband that is not a problem.
I spent a lot of years travelling to be with either my sister or my parents on the holidays, and I LOVE staying home. We put up tons of decorations, which I never did when I left town, and a huge tree, and our electric bill goes up by an astonishing amount as we have almost as many lights as Chevy Chase. Plus, holiday travel is just miserable. My sister would love for us to all come for either holiday, but we prefer to visit other times of year - cheaper plane tickets, less crowded airports, and fewer cancelled flights means more fun all around to me.
This is the 3rd Holiday we are splitting up our time - I’m fortunate in that my parents are still together and live WAY closer… we end up @ my house on Thanksgiving (unless FFIL’s birthday falls on Thanksgiving) and my house on Christmas day. One year we spent Christmas Eve @ his mom’s and one year we spent it @ his dad’s. FH isn’t as close to his family as I am to mine and his parents understand that b/c they are farther away we can’t away make it.
We spend Thanksgiving at home, and travel to my parent’s house for Christmas. Unfortunately, our parents live on opposite coasts, and we live in Idaho. So, lots of travel is always involved. Christmas was an easy (though not fair) decision for us because my fiance was never in the habit of visiting his family on the east coast during the holidays. He hates holiday travel and visits at less hectic times of the year. I can’t imagine spending Christmas without my family, so I am lucky he’s willing to drive the 8 hours with me and our two dogs every year. Luckily, this year his family is flying out to Seattle to spend Christmas with us and my family. It will also be the first-meeting of the parents!! A full week of first-meeting… eek! 
My FI and I just figured out the holiday situation this week. My grandma is VERY adamant about being together for the holidays, so as long as she is living I have to be there. Not a problem, but it will mean a lot of driving. Thankfully FI and I are only an hour apart (we each live with our respective parents; by next year we’ll be in our own place). It will be an interesting holiday season, but I’m so glad we’re able to spend it with everyone
We do the Holiday Split as well, but are lucky because our families live only about 45 minutes from one another. We usually do Christmas Eve with his family because they have a lot of Christmas Eve traditions. Christmas morning we drive to my family’s Christmas Brunch, open presents, spend a few hours hanging out and then usually end up back with his folks for dinner time. It’s a lot of going back and forth! Last year our families made it easy for us and got together for Christmas dinner… where he proposed to me in front of everyone. I’m hoping getting our families together to celebrate Christmas (and our Engage-aversary!) will become a tradition!
We were just talking about this the other day because we’re trying to decide what to do. We’ll be freshly married and will have recently spent a week with my family in Punta Cana, but I still sort of want to go to visit my folks for Xmas with Mr Breezy. I agree, I can’t wait till everyone comes to our house, too (just not this year please!).
SInce my family is on the west coast, and his on the east, it is so difficult! The past two years we have switched off, one year we were in NY for thanksgiving and the next we went for Christmas. I feel the same way about missing out on your own family traditions! My first christmas away from home was really difficult 
As I am sure his was. This year since we are trying to save for the wedding, we will be staying home for the entire holiday season. Which secretly makes me very excited, because we get both with my family When we have kids I hope people will come to us as well. Waking up at home for christmas is how it should be!
Our parents live about two hours from each other, so it would be a long day in the car to visit them both. We’re spending Thanksgiving with his family, and Christmas with mine. And Christmas with his-but only because my future brother-in-law isn’t coming home from military leave until the 27th, so the family is celebrating when he returns. I’m excited because I haven’t met him yet, he’s been gone since before my fiance and I met.
I feel for you - my fiance and I have split the holidays for quite some time. Luckily, neither of our families were more than an hour away. Until this year. Since we moved to Denver in July and our families are in Louisiana, this will be my first Thanksgiving, my first Christmas, without my family. There’s no way either of us can go home (despite the fact we fly for free). Ski season is understandably busy for him at work (he works for a major airline) and I work in retail so neither of us can take off work to go home. I guess splitting every holiday wasn’t so bad after all.
We stay home on the East Coast for Thanksgiving, which has never been a major deal in my family. I love the freedom of being able to spend the day with friends, and especially of not having to travel in the mad turkey day rush.
My fiance’s parents live in a closed religious community; they don’t do big holiday celebrations, and you can’t really just drop by to visit. We spend every Christmas with my family down south. Selfishly, I love this, and since we’ve been together for nearly four years, it’s also meant that my family has really, really adopted him! This year, though, I have to go to a conference on the West Coast just a couple of days after Christmas. FI’s sister lives in Oakland, so we’re going to hang out with her.
O Miss Fondue- I so know how you feel! Mr. Blush’s family lives in Chicago and my family is in Atlanta. We are both so close to our families I really do not know what to do- actually I think I do know what to do (split holidays), but honestly it’s so hard! It’s going to be so hard not spending a Thanksgiving or Christmas with my family- who’s going to make the stuffing? or organize the gift exchange??
Yeah … I understand this completely. My family is an hour from us (easy drive), but his is 6. For Thanksgiving, we come home Wed and spend Thurs with my parents, then drive Fri and spend the rest of the weekend with his.
Christmas we trade off, last year we spent it with his family, so we’ll be with mine this year, though we’ll see his somewhere near Christmas. It also helps that both of my brothers are married and have families to split with, and neither of our parents care about the specific day, as long as they get to see us.
Both of our families are really close, his parents are only about a mile away and mine are about a 30 minute drive. So, we’re really lucky in many ways, however it’s sort of a curse also, because at the holidays, since we’re so close to everyone, both sides think we should be able to see them every holiday! Last Thanksgiving and Christmas we felt like we were hopping constantly from one place to the other and never got to relax and enjoy the day. We’re going to have to sit down and figure out a less stressful way to deal, I think.
Mr. PN’s family is much closer than mine so we spend Thanksgiving with them and Christmas in Minnesota (when we have more time to travel). This year we won’t be able to go to Minnesota because we don’t have vacation time or the money I will miss spending the holiday with my parents and brothers but it will also be a little nice to miss the holiday airport crowds!
i feel ya miss fondue. between my two families (my parents are divorced) and his we travel a lot. My dad gets Christmas Eve, and then we drive back and forth on Christmas Day between my mom’s and his parents. i
This is the first year that my fiance and I are going to be together for the holidays. Since my parents live in Michigan, and his in Iowa, and we live in Minnesota, we can’t really go to both on the same holiday. We’ll be alternating Thanksgiving at one place and Christmas at the other. It will be a little weird for me, but its what all of my cousins have done so I think my parents expected it.
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Miss Fondue, Nashville
Age and Occupation: 27, Technical Analyst
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Network Admin Student/Senior Game Advisor
Engagement Date: December 25, 2007
Wedding Date: May 2009
Blogging Since: September 14, 2008
Venue: Ravenwood Golf Club
About Me: I’m your average computer geek marrying a gaming geek and trying to find a good balance of elegance and geek chic in our wedding. I adore The Sims, Nintendo, cosplay, (good) music, TiVo, theme parks, and our two crazy felines.
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