Wedding Blog
Mr. Taffy and I are more than midway through our dance lessons. Since they don’t let us wear street shoes in the studio, we have been dancing in our socks during class!
I always thought that I would find my wedding shoes, then practice dancing in them a bit before the wedding. I have just realized that when our dance instructor keeps insisting that we purchase shoes to dance in, he means shoes made specifically for dancing.
As in, “Oh, it’s time for our first dance? Hold on, let me get one of my bridesmaids to put on my dancing shoes for me, since there’s no way I am going to find my feet under this floofy dress”?
As in, “I’ve already spent so much money on my wedding, but let me buy another pair of shoes that will undoubtedly cost even more than the first pair”?
You have got to be kidding me. And don’t even get me started on men’s shoes. As long as I don’t go with Manolos, Mr. Taffy’s dress shoes are way more expensive than the average womens dress shoe. And it seems like the “special dancing shoes” are even worse!
I want to hear from brides who took or are taking dance lessons! Did you wear special shoes, and actually have time to change them back and forth? This seems crazy to me. I know the dancing shoes are made to be really comfortable, but I just can’t imagine finding the time during the wedding to change, or the room in our budget for 4 pairs of shoes! And as comfy as it sounds, I don’t think dancing in our socks is an option. At least for the first dance! 
|
Share this post: Dancing Shoes: Necessity or Frivolity?
not for our wedding, but for our dance lessons he bought cowboy boots & I got some clearance (read ugly) shoes that work great on an online ballroom shoe store. I think the practice shoes are really cheap, but it would be a PITB to change shoes
We didn’t purchase special shoes, and we wouldn’t have had time to change. We entered and went straight into our first dance, and then right into the hora… so I would have had to enter wearing the shoes, which would have meant that I would have had to change my shoes in between the ceremony and the reception, and have one of my bridesmaids carry the shoes I wanted to wear down there, and it just seems like it would have been a lot of effort.
Frankly, unless your first dance is going to be 20 minutes long, I really don’t think it’s necessary. There is no reason why you can’t do a 5 minute first dance in a regular pair of heels or flats as long as you practice a few times beforehand.
Your instructor is only trying to protect his dance floor (that’s why he won’t allow outside shoes.) Ballroom shoes have a soft leather sole, so they won’t rip up the floor.
They are *not at all* necessary for your wedding, however. Wear the same shoes for the dance as for everything else. Sadly, if he really won’t let you wear any other shoes, you won’t be able to practice in heels at the dance studio.
Thing is - I would recommend (if you’ve never really danced in heels before) to get low heels for your wedding. The bride breaking an ankle during her first dance is a wedding nightmare no one wants. Or at least find a way to practice in heels - they are *not* the same to dance in as socks.
Or hey - you and your man could change into socks for the dance! Would make a funny story 
Our dance instructor is allowing us to wear street shoes in the studio, it was never an issue.
Maybe you could try practicing in your driveway/parking lot with your wedding shoes? There is no reason to spend a ton on special dance shoes.
Lots of people i know bought dance shoes and wore them as their wedding shoes! they are so comfortable and you can find really pretty ones!
as a former ballroom dancer i can guarantee you that you don’t need the shoes. i’m actually surprised because most schools that teach wedding dance lessons prefer you to dance in the shoes you’ll be wearing that day (to make sure you won’t be caught off guard… it’s bad enough that you’ll have to adjust for your dress). yes, outside shoes will scuff up a floor but most places that teach these kinds of classes are used to that and don’t mind at all.
i know that’s no help unless you want to find another place to go. in short - DON’T buy practice shoes, you’ll regret it later but DO practice with your man at home in the shoes you’ll actually be wearing.
er…chinese brides usually find the time to change 3 times…so yeah, you can make time…BUT if it was up to me…I WOULDN’T.
whatever you learn in your dance lessons won’t make you better if you have the ‘right’ shoes. Practice at home with your own heels.
Honestly, for me, it was the dress that was the problem. Our waltz was really fast and we hadn’t practiced with *so much dress*, so it was really awkward! I was so embarrassed that we kept messing up that I cut the first dance short really early. Talk about $400 in dance lessons completely out the window…if you can practice in a long dress (an old bridesmaids dress maybe?), that helps!
I agree with “notsojenny”
Also I think that spending a fortune for a pair of shoes you’ll only be using for a 5-minute dance is a waste. I suggest practice with your wedding shoes, you will also be more comfortable with your shoes if you use it a few times before the wedding.
I agree that you don’t need special shoes. But by all means practice at home in the shoes you’ll be wearing, and if you have a petticoat try that on too.
Y’all’s comments are a big relief! The mister and I were just having the same discussion. Do we need to buy yet another pair of shoes?
Whew! I’m so glad you posted this, Taffy. We just started dance lessons and had the same question!
I actually purchased dance shoes as my wedding shoes, but it made sense as my husband and I dance tango regularly, so they’re already getting tons of use after the wedding.
If you plan on continuing with social dance and think it may be something you’ll get into, try some dance shoes. If not, don’t worry about it, but DO practice in heels. See if the studio has a connection for low cost or even used shoes.
I second all the earlier comments. I used to teach ballroom, and I think you’ll be fine without dance shoes (although they will feel WONDERFUL if you decide to go with them), but if your dress is poofy, try practicing at least once with the crinoline so you’re used to being bigger than you really are.
I’m actually thinking of purchasing ballroom shoes for my wedding shoes. I’m in theatre and, trust me, there are affordable and cute ballroom shoes out there. I don’t think it necessary for you to switch shoes just for one dance, but if you did get special dance shoes, you might enjoy them more for the whole evening.
I already owned a pair of dancing shoes and I didn’t even change into them! I took some ballroom dance classes in college and invested in a pair of sexy latin ballroom dancing shoes which I planned to do our foxtrot in, but in the end it just flowed better for me to jump out there and get to it!
I agree with the others that your dress will be more of an issue than your shoes will.
We used the wedding as an excuse to buy dancing shoes! Although our teacher allows street shoes, we got tired of trying to do turns in Chucks–that kind of traction didn’t help at all. But leather-soled dress shoes of any kind, even tux-shop rentals, will be fine.
Hi Miss T,
I love that you’re posting about dancing! I’m also a ballroom teacher, and it’s unfortunate that your teacher wasn’t very helpful or creative. So, two thoughts:
1) You should *definitely* wear your shoes to practice in, so just bring them to your class and wear little shortie sport socks over them, or knee-hi nylons or those try-on nylon footies from a shoe store. (Frankly, I’m not sure why your teacher wouldn’t allow *your* shoes because they are probably brand spanking new-in-the-box, hence no possible way to mark/scratch floor.) Anyway, this method has the added bonus of protecting your shoes from bumps and scuffs–yay! You can use it at home, too.
2) Ballroom shoes are amazing as wedding shoes. They are super-padded, have a hard-core supportive steel shank all along under the arch, and they come in a thousand styles/heel heights/fabrics, lots with nifty accents like tiny bows or rhinestones. Most satin ones are dyable, too. They are *made* to keep feet comfortable for hours of pounding punishing dancing. They are more expensive, but that’s why. Honestly, if I could afford it, I’d *only* wear ballroom shoes! Bottom line: if you buy ballroom shoes, get them for your actual wedding shoes and wear ‘em all day. Otherwise, don’t worry about it (see #1) and definitely don’t bother with “practice shoes” unless you plan to continue dancing there.
Sorry this was long, but I hope it helps, and I second the comments on practicing with your petticoat or a long skirt if you can. Have fun and best of luck on your big day!
While our dance instructor told us that dancing in regular heels would be fine, she encouraged us to get dance shoes. She convinced us when she said that since dance shoes have suede bottoms, they won’t make “clack clack” sounds on the dance floor, which we thought was important because we didn’t want our guests to be distracted by clack-clacking during our first dance and instead wanted them to focus on the beautiful song and how graceful our dancing was (ha ha yah right). The softness of the suede bottoms also made it a bit easier to slide, turn, and spin on the dance floor; while the texture of the suede prevented slipping. (Nothing would have ruined my wedding high more than slipping and falling mid-song with about a gazillion eyes watching.) Heeled dance shoes for woman also usually have a strap that wraps around the ankle so that you don’t accidentally slip out of your shoes. Another thing about dance shoes is that the ankle strap easily and quickly slips into a clasp so that you don’t have to mess with a buckle. (Well, this isn’t entirely true…there is a buckle so that you can adjust the length of the strap to fit properly around your ankle, but once it’s adjusted you won’t have to worry about it again.) AND (can you tell I’m all for buying dance shoes?), like a previous poster already noted, they are indeed comfier to dance in. In other words, dance shoes really are made for dancing and I highly recommend them.
If your entire wedding is mostly indoors, there is no reason why you couldn’t have your dance shoes and your wedding shoes be one in the same. There are some super cute and reasonably priced options out there. (I purchased my pair for well under a Benjamin. Hubby’s were slightly more expensive, but nothing even remotely close to the cost of Manolos.) If your wedding is outdoors on a lawn, like mine was, you could still wear your dance shoes the entire time, but they would get a little dirty and you would need to use a special brush (about $10) to clean the bottoms before getting on the dance floor.
I opted for separate wedding shoes and dance shoes, and while changing them was a little inconvenient, I found it to be worth the trouble and it really did not take very long. I changed just before our entrance into our reception and once I got into the dance shoes, I didn’t bother switching back.
To help you decide, consider going to a ballroom dance shoe store and try on a pair so that you can see what I’m talking about.
If you decide to get dance shoes, just be sure to allow enough time in case you need to special order them in white or ivory. Since your wedding is in May, you have plenty of time. The shoe store I visited did not have many white/ivory versions in stock and with a mere 2 weeks away from my wedding there was not enough time to do a special order. Luckily, the stars were aligned, and I found a pair that were cute and in my size! Also consider getting a silver or gold pair that might be easier to wear again.
If you opt out of special dance shoes, just be sure to get plenty of practice while wearing them. Also, I agree with a previous poster that you should definitely practice a few times wearing a long and poofy skirt. This is mostly for your partner’s benefit, as he will need to learn how to maneuver around it. Your dance studio may be able to lend you one.
Now, after having said ALL THAT, since you are already learning to dance in socks, I actually think it might be kind of fun and cute for you to just dance in socks. Of course, this would depend entirely on what kind of dance you were planning on doing (Jive, swing, sure why not! Waltz, not so much.), not to mention how well you can move in a long dress that might be dragging on the floor a little bit without the extra height of heels. Show off your playful side by wearing some super cute or funky socks. Although, I might consider getting a pair with “grippy stuff” on the bottoms to address the possibility of slippage.
If your wedding is all inside, just wear ballroom shoes the entire time. I second how comfortable they are, especially if you break them in. I only have old lady practice shoes right now, but I plan to buy real ones for my wedding (and possibly for a couple of weddings I go to this summer, because I hurt my foot dancing at a wedding last year in street shoes).
Try http://www.danceshoesonline.com before you decide the cost is too high.
Really the question is what kind of dancing you plan to do. If you are just doing a survival dance course or something, then you probably don’t need them. However, if your dance will involve a lot of spins or turns, you should definitely consider them.
I didn’t read through every comment, so I’m sorry if this repeats what somebody else has already said… You can wear dance shoes the whole night or just change shoes on the way to the reception. You can also kick off your shoes before you go onto the dance floor (and probably none of your guests will notice) and then do your dance in bare feet if you are worried about not being able to dance in your wedding shoes. Otherwise, I would just practice at home in your wedding shoes. Extra practice will not hurt - it’ll just make you more comfortable with the steps! I really broke my wedding shoes in by wearing them almost every night to cook dinner/wash the dishes. I bought a pair of cute bedroom slippers for dancing at the reception, but I got so used to my heels that I ended up not taking them off until just before the last dance of the night! You will probably more regret spending the extra money on shoes (unless you will be taking up dancing as a hobby once the wedding is over) than you would regret having sore feet for your wedding night.
I bought ballroom shoes for our lessons and ended up wearing them for the whole reception. They were really really comfortable, and I was really glad I did. I don’t wear heels all that often, but I wanted to wear them for the wedding. With my ballroom shoes, I was able to wear them all night with no problem at all.
I do a LOT of community theatre, so I’ve taken a ton of dancing lessons and had a lot of dance rehearsals. Dance shoes have been a necessity, but I have never really had $150 or so to lay down on the ‘quality’ shoes. Thankfully, I had a dance teacher who recommended that I look for shoes at the local Goodwill and online at Discount Dance companies. I found a ‘practice’ pair at Goodwill that cost me all of $10 (they weren’t originally dance shoes, but had good construction and nice soles that I cleaned to remove dirt) My dance teacher said that so long as the soles wouldn’t make contact with the street anymore, they wouldn’t count as street shoes.
My ‘performance’ pair came from an online site where I got a deal, the shoes cost $18 and shipping was $5 (cause I waited the 10 days out)
Another theatre friend of mine found a pair at a Target for $9 on sale - they were black mary janes that she ONLY wore for dance.
Hope that helps!
I have really tiny feet, I wear a size 5 in boots and a size 4 1/2 in heels. The only shoes I could find that were cream satin and actually fit my feet were ballroom dance shoes. I had to make a trip up to NYC for them, but it was worth it. They were much more comfortable than the majority of shoes I own, and the bonus was that I could wear them for our dance lessons. And they were around $150, not expensive at all. I’m not sure what brand your instructor is trying to sell you, but I would look around if you are going to buy a pair. And I wouldn’t think about changing shoes. You want to have fun at your wedding, not stress about making that change.
@julieulie: @distractedbyshinyobjects: @CarriC: @notsojenny: @mat isaac: @Pengwen: Thanks so much for the advice! I am glad to hear that wearing regular shoes would be ok, and will definitely practice with them at home to break them in.
However…
@Angela: @elizabeth: @Meganleigh: @Liz: @EDB: @BucknellBride: @Rachael: I am intrigued by how comfortable you say the special dancing shoes are! I’ll go to some stores in my area and try some on, if they are super comfortable then it would be worth it! Also, Mr. Taffy and I have really enjoyed our lessons and might take some more before and after the wedding, so it might be good to have something other than socks!
@rebecca: @Pengwen: @elizabeth: @Mrs. Avocado: @Liz: @mrs q.: I have been really concerned about the dress, thanks for confirming it! I’m worried about both of us stepping on it lol! I have a bunch of fluffy dresses in my weird vintage collection, I can practice in those or a petticoat. I even have hoopskirts laying around, that may be good to help Mr. T get used to moving around me!
@mrs q.: I didn’t even think of that! Clack clacking would be pretty distracting!
@missteaberry: Breaking them in while washing dishes & cooking dinner is a great idea!!! I will definitely try that.
Thanks Ladies, your feedback is awesome and super helpful!
@Miss Cheese: Yay! We love the dance classes! We have so much fun together in class, and when we practice at home. Spending an hour giggling with Mr. T is the best part of the lessons!
We took dance lessons for our first dance too. I wore my wedding shoes during our lessons, but ended up wearing my reception shoes for our dance. We did a slow Ramba and my wedding dress was too big for him to turn and dip me. So the week before the day, we decided it was best that I wore my reception outfit for our first dance. It turn out great because everyone thought I look totally sexy while doing the Ramba in my form fitting reception dress. Dance shoes are nice, but don’t waste money on something you plan to wear only once.
Yes i agree you don’t need to buy a expensive shoes, you’ll regret it later but You can DO practice at home in the shoes you’ll actually be wearing. Practice at home with your own heels!!
| Visit our sister sites | Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Fertile Thoughts Infertility Support |
Mrs. Taffy, Ann Arbor
Age and Occupation: 28, Color and Materials Designer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Automotive Designer
Engagement Date: May 9, 2008
Wedding Date: May 2009
Blogging Since: September 14, 2008
Venue: University of Michigan Union
About Me: I’m a girl who is crazy about Mr. Taffy, sewing, dancing, almost all types of sweets, and our cute pet canaries. I dislike touching fuzzy fabric of any kind, eating somewhat squishy food, and Michigan winters. Mr. Taffy and I are having a blast planning our Ann Arbor wedding, and cannot wait to share our day with friends and family.
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
| 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |
| 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 |
| 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |
| 29 | 30 |
Latest Gallery Pics