Wedding Blog
Hello bees! I know, it’s been far too long. I have to admit that I’ve been hibernating in our Chicago apartment, thoroughly enjoying married life. I spent the weekend devouring the Martha Stewart holiday issue, cooking from my new Indian cookbook, and snuggling with Mr. Jasmine. For all of you in the midst of wedding planning stress, take heart: a relaxing, blissful married life awaits you!
Last week, I took a big (belated) step: I finally changed my name. It was very strange to see “Jasmine Married Name” on my social security card, but I was also overjoyed. That is, until I realized what a pain it is to make sure your maiden name and your married name are “linked up”. For example, I was updating my resume with my new name when a thought occurred to me: what if a prospective employer does a background check? They won’t find record of a “Jasmine Married Name” at any of my previous schools or jobs. I finally decided to add “formerly Jasmine Maiden Name” to my resume, so hopefully that solves that problem. But it’s still confusing for work matters where I started a case with one name, but will now go by another name.
For those of you that changed your name, how did you connect your maiden name and married name in your professional life?
|
Share this post: Maiden Name/Married Name Dilemma
I am about half way done with the process and finding a flew blips. Like not getting paid for a job I did two months ago because the payment folks didn’t have any record of Pineapple Newname. Even after I told them that is because when I started the job I was Pineapple Oldname they are still trying to figure out what is going on. I feel you pain…Who knew it would be so complicated?
Can you keep your maiden name professionaly and use your married name personally? The only pontential stress I’ve had (so far) is voting. It was all updated just in time!
It is so ironic you mention this because just two minutes ago I was revamping my resume to send out and decided to put formerly know as miss meg. It is extremely frustrating but it still doesn’t stop me from shamelessly doodling my new name ;o)
As a scientist with publications out under my maiden name, I was never planning to change. Most women in science don’t, but my husband was adamant that I changed it. So, legally I hyphenated, though it makes my name really long, and truthfully I still really just go by my maiden name because that’s what comes out naturally. I did change my personal email address though to first.maiden.married@gmail.com though, and the strangest part of the whole process is still 5 months later when I look at the top and see the married name at the top and think “oops, did husband leave himself signed into his account?” I wonder how long it will take for me to associate his last name with my email!
I had to deal with this too, job searching a few months after changing my name. My maiden name was unusual, and a google search revealed all sorts of academic achievements of mine. Nothing comes up for my new name - I was sad to lose those in my google searches! Ha.
On my resume I put my name as “Firstname Maidenname Newname” even though that’s not how I’m going legally. Maybe I should change it to “formerly Firstname Maidenname” - hadn’t thought of that. My email address has not changed from f-maidenname@university.edu so I hope that’s sort of a clue that it was my former name. Also I have a bunch of publications (I’m in academia) which I listed with my name in bold - I’ve seen other academics do this so I figure seeing publications with both names highlighted will indicate that they are both me, just pre and post marriage. ugh so confusing!
Technically you’re supposed to write “(neé maidenname)” for example- Alice Smith (neé Jones) if you want to have your maiden name accessible.
I am still trying to figure out what to do as I’m an attorney as well. I want to keep my maiden name only professionally (easier name than the married name). The CA state bar says I can still go by my maiden name as long as I sign and represent myself as such, but when I looked into what stays with the maiden and what goes with the married name, the missnowmrs.com website advised that I have to keep my IRS form in my maiden name. (?) Not sure how that would link up. Needless to say, I am still very confused and need to figure this out. :I
Whoa - good point about the resume! I’m not currently looking for a new job, but I’ll have to remember to add that when I do.
To make sure that people would recognize my emails, I hyphenated my name in my signature for the first two months (and still do if I’m emailing someone that I know I haven’t contacted since getting married). It seems to have gotten everyone acquainted with my new name. No confusion yet.
The biggest issue for me, since I’m in research, is the name that my articles are published under. Everything published when I was single will have a different name than everything published afterwards. I can list them all in my CV, but it causes havoc when tracking my work in a reference database, or contact me based on a presentation I have given. Some women in research retain their maiden name professionally, but that sounded confusing to me.
One other thing to consider if you are actively searching new employment is making sure your references are aware of (and familiar with) your name change. You don’t want them to sound dumbfounded when a perspective employer calls asking for a reference for “Firstname Newlastname”.
I have no idea…..Im already having enough trouble with my new last name…I look nothing like it, if that makes sense. I guess professionally it will be a conversation starter.
“Oh hi, I’m Dumpling Chinese last name”
“Oh, hi. Wait, what? Oh are you Chinese?”
“Yes, can’t you tell??”
[...] over credential searches, employment history searches, business relationships etc such as on this Wedding Bee blog post, but the easiest way to suck your maiden identity into your married identity is to hyphenate it for [...]
I’m currently tackling this issue. I’ll be graduating this May (and thus losing my school email account) and so I’ve created a new gmail account, which in this format: FirstMaidenMarried@gmail.com. The wedding is set for Fall 2010, well after I will begin my career.
Since I won’t be changing my name until after the wedding, this email address may confuse potential employers, In turn, I’m worried that they will avoid hiring me, assuming that I will be wrapped up in wedding planning from Fall ‘09 to Fall ‘10. Which is not the case, that’s specifically why we are putting off the wedding, so that I can put my career first!
Perhaps I should just create a second email address: FirstMaiden@gmail.com…but I was hoping to eliminate the need to check several email accounts! :\
I decided to take my husband’s name but still keep my maiden name professionally. I thought about just tacking on his last name to mine without hyphenation but I think I will keep the personal/ professional names separate. I wonder if this is going to be a hassle later on? Will I run into problems later with work payroll and insurance if my legal name is Dawn Newlastname and at work I am still Dawn Oldlastname? Or does it matter?
I haven’t legally changed the names yet, but applied for my marriage license with my married name so it got me thinking.
I think I am more confused than ever. Why is it we can’t add our husbands last name w/ hyphen yet keep all our legal documents in our maiden name? I am 46 years old and have been married before and have returned to my maiden name. Which was a major tasks!! My father passed away 4 years ago and in memory of him I do not want to change my name. However, with respect for my soon to be new husband, I would like to take his name also. Too many options, not enough sound advise.
After much consideration I have decided to: add my married name to the end of my current name (un-hyphenated), and use my maiden name (as is) professionally. I will let you know how this works for me. Only 3 weeks to go until the big day.
[...] Jasmine changed hers. Mrs. Hydrangea tried to do something different (but Texas wouldn’t let her). Mrs. Dahlia kept [...]
I think that I am going to make my maiden name my middle name and my married name my new last name. Is any one else doing this? The only thing that I hate is that I really love my middle name and I hate to see it go! Oh! Decisions, decisions!
@Miss Marine: Had the same delimna and decided to keep both. Will have two middle names, just adding his name at the end of my current name. Will still be using my maiden name professionally.
I am trying to figure this issue out as well. It is certainly more complicated for women!
I was married before during graduate school, and hypnenated. After my divorce I returned to my maiden name. I have publications in my maiden and prior married names, which is confusing enough. I recently remarried, and would like to keep my maiden name professionally (plus I just started a new job as a non-faculty physician and all of my application materials are in my maiden name, my professional license, my business license, etc) but use my married name otherwise.
However, I heard that if I legally change my name to reflect my marriage, then using my maidin name for business is “operating under an alias” and I do not know what kind of problems that may cause.
My first and married last names are rather long so I want to avoid hyphenating. I am going to use my maiden name as my middle name if I can change it, but I do not know how that will affect my ability to use it professionally. If anyone has any more info on this I’d love to hear your experiences!
Through much consideration I decided to change my name. However, I left my maiden name in place and added married name to follow (unhyphenated). Giving me two middle names. Fortunately my maiden name was quite small, since my married name contains almost every letter in the alphabet. This has helped quite a bit.
To keep all 4: first, middle, maiden, married names… I had to hyphenate. State law changed this year. I am really bummed for a hyphen- as girl mentioned before, my maiden name has every letter possible. I’m feeling a little confused since my plan for two years was 4 names.
Gibbysgirl21-
Sounds like the change is already done but could you have 2 middle names instead, to avoid the hyphen (First, Middle, Maiden as 2nd Middle, Married as Last)?
As for me, I wrote my professional licensing board and it seems that I can continue to use my maiden name for work even if I change my name to reflect marriage. Their response was brief and I still need to clarify. I still have not changed my name as of yet (it has been 5 months…).
@Ella: That’s what I did! Two middle names, and when necessary I use just my maiden as my middle name (ei.. my drivers license). If I hyphenated that would of made my last name different than my husbands. Considered changing both of our last names (maiden-married name), which my husband would of gone for. Except that he is a Jr. and that would of changed.
| Visit our sister sites | Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Fertile Thoughts Infertility Support |
Mrs. Jasmine, Chicago/LA
Age and Occupation: 25, Attorney
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Attorney
Engagement Date: March 24, 2007
Wedding Date: June 7, 2008
Blogging Since: September 20, 2007
Venue: Hotel on the westside of Los Angeles
About Me: I'm a happy-go-lucky, imaginative spirit trapped in the body of a lawyer. I love reading, shopping, dining out, and exploring my beloved adopted city of Chicago with my fiance. We're planning the wedding of our dreams in my hometown of Los Angeles and we're excited to incorporate our cherished Indian/Pakistani customs and traditions.
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
| 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |
| 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 |
| 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |
| 29 | 30 |
Latest Gallery Pics