Mr. Fondue = Traditional?

Mr. Fondue = Traditional?

November 14th, 2008 @ 11:27 am by Ms Fondue
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I’ve been married before. I was 20 years old. We did the whole wedding thing, and we were separated a little over a year later. So, when Mr. Fondue and I started talking marriage, I originally wanted to elope. I wanted to be married under a waterfall in Hawaii. Just us. No one else.

The problem was that Mr. Fondue hadn’t been married before and wanted all his friends and family to be there. So, the wedding planning began. (I wonder now if he regrets this decision.)

At my first wedding, my dad walked me down the aisle and presented me (even at 20, I didn’t want to be “given” away). Being older now, I thought it might be nice to walk down the aisle by myself, to show my independence. This is nothing against my dad, of course. I love him to death. But this being my second wedding, I thought it was a little silly.

I casually mentioned this to Mr. Fondue, and he suddenly turned all traditionalist on me.

Why wouldn’t I want my dad to walk me down the aisle and give me away? That’s what you’re supposed to do at weddings. He thought it was all rather strange. This is one of several things that Mr. Fondue has been adamant that we follow tradition about. And this all from the guy who is determined to sport a green Mohawk after the wedding.

So, I thought I would compromise and have both my mom and dad walk me down. They are both equally important to me, and I would be honored to have them both by my side. I still wouldn’t have them give me away, though. Mr. Fondue still thought this was weird and remained firm that my dad should be the one walking me down.

So, hive, can we show him that these ideas are certainly not weird? Who are you walking down the aisle with?

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44 Responses to “Mr. Fondue = Traditional?”

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Guest

Mrs. Smith

In Jewish tradition both parents always walk the bride down the aisle. (And the Groom’s parents also accompany him down the aisle).

11/14/08 @ 11:32 am (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Dorsay (message) 2,272 posts, Buzzing bee

Jeez, thats tough. I think if you’re firm about explaining that you want this wedding to be different all around from your first it may help. That you’re not the same person who was presented before and you want the presentation to reflect that. That you’re a reflection of both your parents, or that you’re an independent being about to be joined with him.

Besides, life is all about compromise, and you didn’t get to elope, so he should prob give a little on this one given how important it seems to you….

I talked with my parents about having them both walk me down the aisle, but my dad seemed like he was very hurt by the idea, maybe b/c I’m the youngest? So, I’ll be walking with my dad.

11/14/08 @ 11:34 am (reply)

Bee

Miss Snapdragon (message) 717 posts, Busy bee

That is funny when your fiance surprises you out of nowhere sometimes - my response is “Wha??? - Who ARE you anyway?” I think having both of your parents walk you down the aisle is a great idea - it sounds like a good compromise between what you want and what the Mister wants?

11/14/08 @ 11:34 am (reply)

Guest

mandy

I wanted to walk down the aisle by myself but when i mention it I saw how much my dad wanted to walk me down the aisle ao i gave in.

11/14/08 @ 11:34 am (reply)

Member

kim0309 (message) 115 posts, Blushing bee

I was adament to walk down the aisle by myself when we got engaged. We have an extra groomsman to escort my mom and my dad is no longer in my life. I also do not want to be “given” away, so I thought why not go at it alone? Now at only four months out, I still like the idea, but the thought of actually doing it makes me a bit sick to think about. All I can imagine now is falling on my face halfway down our short little aisle!

11/14/08 @ 11:37 am (reply)

Guest

luckycat

At my cousin’s wedding just this past weekend the bride walked out to the start of the aisle alone and then her groom walked up to meet her and escorted her down the aisle himself.
It wasn’t traditional, but it was so sweet and touching.
I’ve heard of several brides in similar shoes as yours (don’t want to be “given away”) who compromise this situation by having their father or mom/dad combo walk them half way down the aisle, to be met my the groom who escorts her the rest of the way.
You have so many options, hopefully all the replies you’ll get here will show your fiance that you can make your own traditions!

11/14/08 @ 11:41 am (reply)

Guest

Elle

This is also my second wedding. I was married at 19 years old. My dad gave me away at that time and will give me away again this time. This is my FI’s first marriage, but I never thought of another alternative other than having my dad give away his little girl. No matter how much older I am, I will always be his little girl.

11/14/08 @ 11:41 am (reply)

Guest

Laura

Both of my parents walked me down the aisle. My mom was the one that suggested it because “I raised you too!” so thats what we did.

What if your dad walked you half way down the aisle and then you walked the rest of the way to Mr. Fondue? Kind of a combination of both things.

11/14/08 @ 11:41 am (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Margarita (message) 369 posts, Helper bee

I had both my parents walk me down the aisle too even though usually just your Dad walks you down in Sri Lankan tradition. I think its sweet to honor both your parents in that way. Does the mister still have a problem with you being presented instead of being “given away”?

11/14/08 @ 11:43 am (reply)

10.

Member

AbbieOinCO (message) 184 posts, Blushing bee

I’m struggling with the “who” part as well… but for different reasons. My parents divorced when I was 2, and my stepfather has been in my life since 2nd grade. I’m getting an earful from both my mom and step-mom about what I should do and asking what I’m going to do. I almost want to say screw it and walk down by myself!!

11/14/08 @ 11:46 am (reply)

11.

Guest

Jessie516

I’ve seen lots of brides who have had both parents walk them down the aisle. I think that might be a nice compromise in your situation.

My dad isn’t involved in my life, so I’m having my younger brother walk me down the aisle. I figured it’s not as much “giving me away” as just him being there to support me and be a part of our special day.

11/14/08 @ 11:53 am (reply)

12.

Guest

EmilyQ

I thought about this for a long time, but the idea of my dad walking me down was NEVER an option. My mom raised me so I either wanted to walk with her or by myself. I think I’ll choose to walk with her, but I don’t know if she’ll “give” me away. I’m not property, lol. Anyway, you could always walk halfway by yourself and meet your dad (and mom if you choose) halfway. Ultimately the decision is yours, and while I know you want to make Mr. F happy, I think you need to go with what is right for YOU.

11/14/08 @ 11:58 am (reply)

13.

Guest

Michelle

Both of my parents walked me down the aisle. I love both of my parents dearly but my mom is like my best friend and I could not imagine leaving her out of that moment. She asked over and over again (even at the rehearsal!) if I was sure that is what I wanted. It was great having both of my parents there to calm me down and walk with me. Heck, if I could, I would have had my sister there with us but we would have needed a bigger aisle.

11/14/08 @ 12:02 pm (reply)

14.

Member

DCKate (message) 78 posts, Worker bee

My Dad will walk me down the aisle. We’re really close and I can’t picture it any other way. However, there will be no “who gives this woman” nonsense. He’ll just kiss me and hug J and then go sit by my Mom.

11/14/08 @ 12:04 pm (reply)

15.

Guest

ErinMarieMack

I am always surprised by what aspects of a traditional wedding my FI wants and those he does not. I do love the Jewish tradition of both mother and father walking the bride down the aisle. Even if you are not Jewish, I think the symbolism is beautiful!

11/14/08 @ 12:04 pm (reply)

16.

Guest

Ashley

I certainly don’t think it’s weird… I walked down the aisle alone because I felt like I’d brought myself to that point.. I think the giving away thing is weird… though I completely understand the centimental aspect if you are close with your dad (My dad and I get along fine, but we are not close and I am not daddy’s little girl).

11/14/08 @ 12:06 pm (reply)

17.

Member

DCKate (message) 78 posts, Worker bee

@AbbieOinCO: One of my friends walked halfway down the aisle with her step-dad then met her dad and he walked her the rest of the way. It was really nice. She danced with both of them too.

11/14/08 @ 12:06 pm (reply)

18.

Guest

Dizzy

I hate the reasoning “because that is what you are supposed to do”. My lovebug uses it ALL TIME TIME. Blah! But he is cookiecutter about public events. He doesn’t want to be the different one, even though he is a life of the party. And I LONG FOR different.

11/14/08 @ 12:12 pm (reply)

19.

Guest

deb

It’s not weird! In Jewish tradition, both the bride and groom are walked down the aisle by both parents.

11/14/08 @ 12:21 pm (reply)

20.

Guest

auschick

I’m walking down with just my dad, but i’ve had friends go down with both their parents. It’s all up to you, and it’s not weird