Wedding Blog
*Deep breaths*
I’m feeling overwhelmed today.
*Deeeeeeep breaths*
Very, very overwhelmed.
*Slow deep breaths*
And panicky.
*Too many deep breaths, now light-headed*
You could call it freaking out.
*Head between knees now, breathing out sloooowly, sucking it up so I can type*
It’s been building ever so slowly, and then I got pushed over the edge into semi-suffocating clouds (because this is a first world problem, I won’t call it drowning) by this: Mrs. Hydrangea’s wedding spread on Project Wedding.
Wow. I mean, wow. W-O-W. Modern and beautiful, wonderful, completely worthy of a magazine spread. Wow.
Um, hi. *waving* I’m Ms. Cheese, and I’m totally out of my league (evidently I’m the wanna-bee** in the corner having an asthma attack and looking upon the star player with great envy).
Do you ever feel like that? Like you don’t have enough money, time, or (letsbehonesthere) TALENT for your wedding to be that frigging gorgeous? Like your highest hopes involved candles that didn’t go out and clothes that stayed where they should and a happy husband, but now you want a gobo (when before you didn’t even know what that was)?
Like, with the nasty thunderstorm that is the economy, perhaps you should be socking your money away rather than spending it on a party (albeit a really important and meaningful one)? But on the other hand, who wants to regret not putting enough time and money and (other people’s) talent into the day they start their lives together?
Like maybe the mister’s strategy (”As long as we’re married, I don’t care”) makes more sense than yours (”Unless we plan for things, they won’t run smoothly and everything will be awkward”)?
I’ll be okay, don’t worry. Like I said, I get that it’s a first-world problem, but I’m going to take the dog for a walk, try to finish the bathroom tiling, and make a big huge long list of everything. And then I’m going to have a drink*** and blog about something happy. I suspect there will soon be begging for help from anyone I can arm-twist and a healthy dose of whining to Mr. Cheese.
{Update: Mr. Cheese, bless him, offered to bring home a beverage*** and talk about it all… so I’ll talk/ cry/ whine and he’ll listen. Also, I found this in my RSS reader, and I feel better. Direct quote:
I am huge fan of small weddings attended only by close friends and family… I really can’t think of a better way to celebrate a wedding than sitting under twinkling lights and beautiful banners laughing the night away surrounded by friends.
“Laughing the night away surrounded by friends,” “twinkling lights”… THAT I think I can do. Still terribly envious, lovely Mrs. Hydrangea, but at least I can put the paper sack away now.}
**Yes, I had to go there.
***There you go, assuming it’ll be alcoholic. You’re RIGHT.
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Miss Cheese right there with ya sista- I feel your pain. Mrs. H’s wedding was BEAUTIFUL. But the outdoor, twinkle lights with laughter- love it!!!!
http://www.apracticalwedding.com/2008/11/diy-versus-wic.html
go there.
read that.
take a breather.
enjoy your scotch/wine/beer and think about what you are really doing this.
hint: it isn’t about escort cards, flowers, dresses etc. it’s about you & the dude who just brought you that drink.
Miss Cheese you are NOT a wanna-bee! Mrs. H’s wedding was awe-inspiring and fabulous, but at the same time it made me a little sad because there is no way I could afford anything that compares to this shin-dig.
As much as I love the delectable wedding porn that comes out of a Mrs. H style bash, I read blogs to get inspiration that I can relate to - like your meaningful, homespun backyard wedding. If you want to see inspiration more up your alley check out http://www.thisnewhouse.com. SWOON.
The beauty of weddingbee is that there are bees and readers of all different kinds. Be true to yourself and your future hubby and your wedding will rock!
Miss Cheese you are NOT a wanna-bee! Mrs. H’s wedding was awe-inspiring and fabulous, but at the same time it made me a little sad because there is no way I could afford anything that compares to this shin-dig.
As much as I love the delectable wedding porn that comes out of a Mrs. H style bash, I read blogs to get inspiration that I can relate to - like your meaningful, homespun backyard wedding. If you want to see inspiration more up your alley check out http://www.thisyounghouse.com. SWOON.
The beauty of weddingbee is that there are bees and readers of all different kinds. Be true to yourself and your future hubby and your wedding will rock!
Take a big breath, Cheese. You will stress yourself out if you feel that your wedding “won’t live up” to someone else’s. Mrs. H’s wedding is gorgeous. Do I wish it was my wedding? No. I can tell by her photos that she was dealing with a much larger budget than I am. I try not to waste time coveting what I can’t have, but instead take elements from weddings with higher budgets and see how I can make them work for me. Doesn’t mean that occasionally I don’t whine to myself that I want a big fancy wedding, but I come to my senses eventually.
I suggest that if you’re not already reading apracticalwedding.com, that you had it to your RSS reader. It helps me put things in perspective when I get those “Why don’t I have a $50,000 budget? blues”.
I feel the same way at times, Miss Cheese. But then I have to remember that everyone is different. Everyone is unique. And your wedding will reflect what is special about you and your mister.
Your beautiful love will make a beautiful celebration. 
hahah, too bad I checked mrs. hydrangea’s update…and I meet with the florist in a few hours! ack, *must..hold…on to ….original inspiration….*
If it makes you feel better, I LOVE your cake buffet and am currently trying to convince my fiance, mother and sister that we should bake the cakes! This from the girl who LOVES wedding cakes!
I had a small winery wedding with 60 of our closest family and friends….it was outside, in the evening, with little white lights everywhere…it was perfect! We had so many compliments on how elegant it was. Smaller wedding do have many pros…..you will love a smaller wedding.
Let’s not forget that Mrs. H put together most of that wedding by herself! She DIY’d all of the details and worked her behind off, and there’s no reason why any other bride (or Bee) couldn’t do the same!
You CAN have it all…I agree with budgetbeautiful’s advice to take inspiration from more costly items and find a cheaper alternative that still gives the same effect. Congrats to Mrs. H for the magazine feature!
Miss Cheese, I can’t wait to see what you come up with - I bet it leaves all of us breathless as well.
Take heart, Miss Cheese.
One thing I love about weddingbee is the variety of wedding styles and how each one is beautiful in its own way. Mrs. Hydrangea’s was gorgeous, but so were so many, many others (I started to list them, but the list got to be too long!) because they were a reflection of the bride and groom. The price tag has nothing to do with beauty. Don’t compare yours with others, make yours a statement of its own. Wear that amazing gown of yours and walk down that garden trail to meet your first love and dance in your backyard amidst the twinkling lights and enjoy that homemade cake buffet and incorporate that gray/blue/yellow color scheme and I guarantee your day with be breathtaking as well. :o)
I totally completely understand! When I was reading weddingbee during wedding planning, I felt so out of my league at times - but you really have to adapt ideas to your own hometown & budget.
Your day will be the BEST day ever in your life so far… the grass is green in your lawn.
if that doesn’t make you feel better I recommend another cold one. 
I think I’ve been getting turned off by this mantra on wedding blogs: “it’s all in the details.” Really? Do guests really notice their favors and marvel at them? Do they care that their table number is a plain table number? That the aisle runner isn’t monogrammed? That the chairs aren’t sashed?
I guess it’s all in the details when you want a magazine layout of a wedding album, filled with pictures of your candy buffet. But I’m more interested in dancing and having a blast at my wedding than wondering if my photographer got enough shots of the things I made.
A good party is made by the food and the people there. It’s wise to take a step back and realize how little we need to have a great wedding–someone to marry and a few friends to watch.
I had a similar freak-out…except it was over the idea that because I’m not DIY-ing ANYTHING (I literally have one project - put photos in frames - and I don’t know if I can do it) my wedding would be completely manufactured and have no personal touches whatsoever.
But I guess that’s the great thing about Wedding Bee, right? All different budgets and types of weddings and brides. And that’s what Pinot Grigio is for - wedding freakouts.
Aww. Miss Cheese,
You are going to be having a just as unique, gorgeous wedding. There are different kinds of elegance- either through extravagance or through simplicity. And which ever you &yours embody- it will shine through no matter what budget anyone has to deal with.
I also have the same thoughts as you do- but we try to reframe them as we can (i.e. Quality vs Quantity, Do we want a dream house or a dream wedding, Our *unborn/non-existent* children could care less what kind of cake, colors, glassware we had or how we showed up at our own event.)
It sounds like you will be having some fun tonight when your fiance gets home! Go out and relax- go bowling, go play miniature golf, or go to a nice quiet place to quiet the mind!
i feel ya ms. cheese. my jaw has been on the ground the past hour ever since I saw her wedding porn!
what a lucky gal! =)
I feel the same way all the time. I even feel that way about blogging about it. I actually AM one of the wannabees, and I felt weird about submitting my little blog about my little wedding because it isn’t big budget, or done on the top of Mount Everest or full of do it yourself things. I’m a regular person having a regular wedding, and it is easy to get swept up into the grandeur of other people’s weddings.
It helps me to think about the best wedding I have attended. It was held in a community hall, the dinner was a buffet good ol’ fashioned thanksgiving dinner and there were no flower centerpieces, seating cards, photobooth, or fancy table numbers. There was plenty of good food, good music and fun people. That’s all you need.
I feel this all the time when I am looking at weddings. Like ES123 above I am NOT a DIY person at all. The closest things to DIY that I will be having is a personal handwritten note that I plan on giving to each of our guests. I’m not crafty, and we trying to keep costs down especially since there will be even more layoffs at FI’s firm.
Your wedding will be wonderful because of you and your FI and the unique beautiful relationship you have together. Remember that.
for what it’s worth, one of your posts EXACTLY articulated something i had been trying to say to my fella about our outdoor wedding plans: “overdressed people lounging in rustic settings” –yes, yes that’s what i want! fancy dress in the middle of the woods! i’m not the only one who sees this happening!
I love your posts. I also think your wedding ideas sound amazing.
Thanks, guys. I did feel better after taking a break, walking the dog, and remembering what I believe in. BOY, it’s easy to get caught up in expectations and comparisons and envy!
So, consider this a bad day, a weak day, a day that will happen again, but hopefully not often. Mrs. H, you looked bee-u-tiful, and I hope you understand that my envy is a compliment. A HUGE one.
It’s going to be OK. I had one of those “small weddings” sans the twinkling lights (because we held the reception at a restaurant). We had 43 people including the bride and groom and there was one distinct moment at the beginning of dinner when I just listened to the laughter and conversation, smiled at Mr. Onion and said “we did it!” He knew exactly what I meant b/c we’d talked about how we just wanted everyone to enjoy and chat up a storm at our long Italian Style tables, and it happened!
Focus on the experience you want you and your guests to have and less on the details that will cost a ton of money!! If that means sparse but elegant flowers, mix it up with a vase of pears or apples for color! GL!
I never feel like I have enough money to do a wedding like some of the other Bee’s, but I think it will still be interesting and unique.
YES YES YES I get how you feel, and my wedding is OVER ! (yea, I know I can’t seem to let go of the bee)
I don’t get a re-do so it’s even more frustrating to see gorgeous, perfectly executed weddings now ! But I got what I had in MY mind for over a year, and it was what me, and my fiancee ( with the help of family and friends) made come to life !
Miss Cheese, I can totally relate! I’m getting married in June next year & am FEELING the pressure. We too, share the budget challenge, & with a little one to care for, don’t really WANT to expand the budget any more than we absolutely have to! I’m scared/feeling guilty about all this planning w/ the economy this way too, but I know that in the end, if we’re married, it’ll be a sucess!
*I would actually prefer a smaller, more home-spun event like yours, only with our combined families, the guest list/budget is instantly multiplied. I’m right there having a drink*** with you, Cheese! Cheers!
Mrs Hydrangea’s wedding is incredible, but I know yours will be too! I love those twinkling lights!
Miss Cheese your wedding is going to be beautiful! I’m doing something similar to yours (we’re having our reception at a family home) and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve second-guessed myself on the details! I think that every bride goes through this and in the end, regardless of what details make up your day, it will be absolutely perfect because it will reflect you & your beloved Mr. Cheese.
Miss Cheese - I just saw this post on my blog roll and just wanted to say:
1) Thank you! Your words are far too kind
2) I had MANY moments like your own where I just thought that my wedding would never live up to all of the ones that I swooned over online and ready about daily on WB…so you are not alone.
3) Your wedding will be absolutely gorgeous and absolutely you once that day comes. It doesn’t matter your budget, as long as you are willing to work to make it a beautiful day, and trust me on this, it will be beautiful. Just the fact that you are blogging right here on WB is testament enough that you are dedicated to making your day the absolute best.
4) Breathe. Sometimes it just consumes you, but just breathe. The days of planning, and the big day itself, fly by so entirely too fast that once it’s over you’ll be pining to relive it again.
I can’t wait to see what’s in store for your big day - and just remember, we are all here to listen when you need to vent
[...] that my wedding just won’t be… nice. At moments, my emotional state ranges from one similar to Mrs. Cheese’s, during her “moment” way back when, and Mrs. Peep Toe’s ability to step away from the [...]
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Mrs. Cheese, Knoxville
Age and Occupation: 29, Engineering Manager
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, CAD Designer
Engagement Date: July 31, 2008
Wedding Date: May, 2009
Blogging Since: October 16, 2008
Venue: Our home and the two acres it sits on
About Me: I’m an emotional girl who loves sentimental things, parenthetical asides, and trying to do things herself. I can cook, sew, am a whiz at planning, terrible at delegating, and totally in love with my fiancé (who will be my second husband but first love of the rest of my life). For our home/ garden/ DIY wedding, we’ll be moonlighting as interior designers, home improvers, and gardeners with the help of our fabulous friends and neighbors. We can’t wait to be married, and are learning how fun getting married can be.
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