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Mrs. Taffy, Ann Arbor Age and Occupation: 28, Color and Materials Designer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Automotive Designer Engagement Date: May 9, 2008 Wedding Date: May 2009 Blogging Since: September 14, 2008 Venue: University of Michigan Union About Me: I’m a girl who is crazy about Mr. Taffy, sewing, dancing, almost all types of sweets, and our cute pet canaries. I dislike touching fuzzy fabric of any kind, eating somewhat squishy food, and Michigan winters. Mr. Taffy and I are having a blast planning our Ann Arbor wedding, and cannot wait to share our day with friends and family.
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The Dress - To Sew or Not to Sew?

November 20th, 2008 @ 8:31 am by Mrs. Taffy

I have been wanting to blog about my dress situation for weeks, but this subject has been really touchy for me! Right after I joined the hive, Mrs. Onion asked me if I would be making my own wedding dress. I’m sorry that I rudely avoided your question, Mrs. Onion! Whether to make or buy my gown was an extremely hard decision to make, and I wasn’t ready to talk about it yet. I seriously labored over the decision for months.

I’ve made some wedding worthy dresses in the past. Lace, Tulle, Satin… these are fabrics that I am very familiar with. My first dress was bias cut and made from chiffon! I was out of my mind. Here are some examples of my work:

The Dress - To Sew or Not to Sew? :  wedding wedding dress Witedre
I was going for the vintage bullet bra look here.

The Dress - To Sew or Not to Sew? :  wedding wedding dress Whitedr
The back of the skirt was all hand sewn! My hands hurt just thinking about it. ;)

The Dress - To Sew or Not to Sew? :  wedding wedding dress Whitedr01
I used wire to create an over skirt with organza.

The Dress - To Sew or Not to Sew? :  wedding wedding dress Dress6

This could work for a bride in black…
The Dress - To Sew or Not to Sew? :  wedding wedding dress Blackdr

The Dress - To Sew or Not to Sew? :  wedding wedding dress Blackdr01

The question was so much more complicated than I initially thought. My gut reaction was easy- I did want to make my dress! Although, since I have made some really involved dresses in the past, I know how much work and attention needs to go in, and how they can consume my life! I honestly felt that If I did make the dress, many more things that I would like to personally craft for our wedding would fall off of the table, if not 90 % of them. There was also a huge possibility that I would become unhappy and resent the dress by the wedding. Think of how much one can stress out over a project that takes a whole weekend… this would be many, many weekends.

There were other reasons that made me want to buy a gown instead of designing it myself:

1. Mr. Taffy and I moved in together a month after he proposed. I would not have a private area to work on the dress, and he would see it for sure before the wedding. I may be old fashioned, but I really wanted my dress to be a surprise. When I sew, my projects happen to become scattered all over… it would be impossible to work on it in small sections when he wasn’t home, and hide all of the materials every time he came into the house.

2. It is more difficult to fuss over fitting details when you are making a dress for yourself. I didn’t want to worry constantly about the fit, in addition to the design, in addition to the deadline to finish!

3. This was maybe the biggest reason- I am laid off, and currently looking for a new job. This was tough- you would think that I would have all of the time in the world to sew, since I’m not working, but it is way more important for me to spend my energy job searching than sewing my wedding gown.

4. It wouldn’t save money. The quality of fabrics that I would want would probably cost as much as a purchased gown, and the hours and hours of work to design and sew the garment… don’t even get me started!

My mom made her wedding dress and veil. Here I am playing dress up with her gown as a child:
The Dress - To Sew or Not to Sew? :  wedding wedding dress Meinmom

My mom’s advice? A very firm “Don’t do it!!!” She said that she was sewing things until the night before the wedding… late into the night! Can you imagine the stress???

Ok, as you may have guessed by now, I decided to purchase my wedding gown. In some ways it broke my heart, but I know that I made the right decision. I did have one hard rule to meet: The dress had to either be too complicated for me to make, or the fabric had to be something not easily available to me, or too expensive at the consumer level.

I’m also making some compromises: I’ll be making my veil, and I might make a bolero or a shrug to wear over my gown. Do you remember the bolero that I made for Miss J?

The Dress - To Sew or Not to Sew? :  wedding wedding dress Bolero2

This way, I will still have the satisfaction of designing and making things for my bridal attire, and creating these things won’t eat up my time and budget. Making your own veil can save you lots of money!

*phew* That was a little painful to write. Can you still tell that I feel a little guilty? Although I do have to say, the feeling did fade a lot when my dress arrived last week, and even more when I tried it on! I’ll be posting some pictures soon…

Have any readers thought about making or made their own gown?

PS- please be kind with the comments… this is a touchy subject! :)

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43 Responses to “The Dress - To Sew or Not to Sew?”

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1.
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Sophie

Your work is absolutely gorgeous!!!! That bolero is sooOooo ethereal and romantic. You will have a ball dress shopping since you know what “quality” is. Hope you feel like a princess in your dress.

 
2.
CaitlinRivera
Member
CaitlinRivera (message)  677 posts, Busy bee

I am not talented enough to ever imagine making my own gown. But I do understand your reasoning behind not making your own. I think you made the right decision in the end. And making complements defintely is a good idea. That way it’s a joint effort between you and the designer of the dress you bought. The final product will be beautiful you on your wedding day and you’ll be able to personally accept the complements knowing that you did put some of your creative time and energy and expertise in making this and that to go with the end product. Let me just add as a side note, your work in amazing!

 
3.
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pink

your work is SO beautiful! wow… i think you made a very good compromise =) hats off to you!

 
4.
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CJ2009

i love your dresses… but yeah, buying seems the way to go!

 
5.
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Jeana

Your work is SUPERB! I think that your decision to buy was very smart, buying quality materials can be very costly not to mention finding a place to sew without the Mr. peeking! Kudos to you, I think every bride should be able to experience trying on dresses. I hope you have a grand time shopping. Oh and BTW the bolero is gorg! I have had the hardest time trying to find beutiful bolero’s, when it comes time I may hire you to make me one!! Good Luck with everything.

 
6.
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Bee
Mrs. Onion (message)  710 posts, Busy bee

oh miss taffy! i never meant to stress you out. i was asking what i thought was an innocent question.

that being said — i totally understand your decision. congrats on making it and we can’t wait to see what you picked and the lovely accents you make to go with it!

 
7.
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leslie

You made the right choice! And the idea of creating your own touches to add is a smart one. I’m in awe of the dresses you featured on your page! I wish I was as talented.

 
8.
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briannie

your work is wonderful! i can only imagine how much stress you’d be under if you made your own dress– i’ve seen brides stay up until the wee hours of the morning working on things like escort cards and favors…!

and i LOVE that bolero. are you taking orders? i’m looking for one for my wedding!

 
9.
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lou

I think you made the right choice! And I’m sure even the top wedding dress designers choose someone else to make their dress!

 
10.
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Colleen

Your dresses are amazing, first of all.

At some point in August my mom and I were flipping through wedding magazines and I was showing her dresses I liked. Most of them weren’t complicated and while I was drawn to a lot of tulle, I also was intrigued by the ones made from swiss dot and even..eyelet. And my mom said she could make some of the dresses I had pointed out, especially since the fabrics weren’t fussy ones.

An aside: My mom has sewn dresses for me up until my high school graduation. She gets commissioned from time to time to sew custom drapes and other random projects. She’s a pro. But she’s also aware of her limits when it comes to difficult fabrics and techniques. She can hand sew pinch pleats but I’m not sure about her feelings on rouching, basically.

The pros for me are these: better fabrics, an out of this world fit, and, excepting the time to make it, budget-friendly.

I think if it were me who had to sew the dress, I would buy it as well. I’m highly critical of anything I make and I think the process wouldn’t be very fun for me. You made the right decision for you, I’m sure.

 
11.
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anon

“Have any readers thought about making or made their own gown?”
I am planning on making my own gown ^_^ However, I don’t care if my fiance sees it so that isn’t a concern to me and I haven’t been able to find anything in stores that I like.

 
12.
Mrs. DG
Hostess
Mrs. DG (message)  8,491 posts, Bee Keeper

I think you made the right choice for you. I have memories of a friend of mine sobbing the night before her wedding as she madly stitched together the finishing touches on her gown. She was trying to not get tears on it, and many of us stayed up all night with her getting it done. She looked beautiful, but paid a huge mental price.

You are very talented, so I can understand the desire… Mega-kudos for being in tune enough to do this very consciously!

 
13.
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Member
Miss OceanBeach SF (message)  181 posts, Blushing bee

Since I make cosplay costumes, every around me seems to assume I will be making my own dress (because that’s apparently the same). I end up having to explain to them that I am not going to stress myself out that much, so I definitely agree with your decision!

 
14.
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Becky

Wow, you are amazingly talented. I can totally understand your decision. I spent so many hours on small projects (things like programs and welcome bags and a unity candle… all of those things add up to many evenings). I cannot, literally cannot, imagine such a massive project at the same time.

 
15.
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Vic004

Your so skilled Miss Taffy, that black dress, oh how I drooled over those photos! Your so awesome! I agree with your mom and I agree with your choice, even though it was a hard one to make. :)

 
16.
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BeachBrideT

I think you made the right choice! I think that making your own veil, and perhaps a bolero will be very special. Think about it this way… there’s a good chance that you might be able to pass on your veil to a future daughter– moreso than a dress! So definitely put your love & effort into that, instead of driving yourself crazy about the dress.
And I don’t think you should feel guilty about this– a wedding is supposed to be a wonderful, happy time. If sewing your dress would cause even an ounce of stress (which we know it would!), then its not worth it! There’s no need to freak out and spend soooo much time on your dress (especially if you aren’t saving $), when you could buy a dress, and put all of that effort into the other wedding details!!!!! :) :) :)

 
17.
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tammi

Omg I am duly impressed. Hats off to you miss taffy! Your work is impressive! Its beautiful, ethereal, and just simply GORGEOUS!

 
18.
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Ruby Slippers

I think you made the right decision. I would never have the talent in a gazillion years to make my own wedding dress (or any dress!), so I wonder if I’d make the same one! It would have been fun to see a Bee make her own dress, but not at the expense of your sanity! And you can always make other things in the future.

 
19.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Snapdragon (message)  717 posts, Busy bee

You are so talented! - from everything you said, it sounds like you totally, completely made the right decision.

 
20.
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Kate

I hasd the same dilema. I have never been dress shopping! I’ve made every dress since high school. When it came to my wedding dress it was a no brainer, but the hard part was narrowing down my designs. In the end I have two dresses that are completly different and I can’t decided between. Also my mom will never have the dress shopping experience because I made mine and my sister wants me to make hers as well. That’s the one downer for me.

 
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Mrs. Taffy
Mrs. Taffy

Mrs. Taffy, Ann Arbor Age and Occupation: 28, Color and Materials Designer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Automotive Designer Engagement Date: May 9, 2008 Wedding Date: May 2009 Blogging Since: September 14, 2008 Venue: University of Michigan Union About Me: I’m a girl who is crazy about Mr. Taffy, sewing, dancing, almost all types of sweets, and our cute pet canaries. I dislike touching fuzzy fabric of any kind, eating somewhat squishy food, and Michigan winters. Mr. Taffy and I are having a blast planning our Ann Arbor wedding, and cannot wait to share our day with friends and family.

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