Wedding Blog
In years past, I, like every other young girl, had grandiose dreams of my wedding day. There will be flowers everywhere! A humongous poofy dress! Tiaras! Lobster and filet mignon! Tuxes!
Around the time I started getting serious with my college boyfriend (who is NOT the man I am marrying, thank goodness), I arrogantly attempted to prepare my father for my golden, nay, platinum dreams, since he would obviously be footing the bill for this shindig.
This exact conversation, believe it or not. took place around the time I was 20 years old.
Me: “Dad, I just want to prepare you for what my wedding is going to cost.”
Dad: “Ok…”
Me: “I’m expecting it to be around $100,000.”
Dad: Scoffs
Me: Exasperated sigh. “OK. $50,000 then.”
A few years later, my cousin got engaged. Naturally, I was all up in her business about her wedding plans when she dropped this bomb on me.
Cousin: “I really don’t even want a wedding at this point. I just want to be married to G (her now husband).”
BLASPHEMY!
I literally could not comprehend this idea. What, I imagined, was the point of getting married if you couldn’t have a knock-out, crazy expensive wedding?!
Now that I am actually engaged, I am amazed and embarrassed at my younger self. Not only do I now completely get what my cousin was talking about, I am actually turned off at the thought of spending ridiculous amounts of money on my wedding. Our budget is simple, and just right. We are able to invite everyone who is important to us, and I am so happy to say that I will know every single person at our wedding.
And the thing is, despite what I thought in the past, I’m happy about our modest budget. It forces us to be creative, and honestly, as long as I’m married at the end of the day, I don’t care if the napkins match the bridesmaids’ dresses.
Has your wedding vision changed since you were young?
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Share this post: Establishing the Budget
This made me laugh cause with my college boyfriend I had the exact same thoughts. I didn’t want to *marry* him, I just wanted a wedding….nay, a SHOW…I think what I was envisioning was somewhere in line with that show Platinum Weddings! Haha. Now that I’ve met FI, all I want is to be married to him….the wedding is just a nice perk to be able to celebrate with loved ones, and the budget is nice and manageable.
Definitely. I am a dreamer, but also very realistic. The budget we created is still more than I would like, but we are making a LOT of cuts to get it where it is currently. There are some things I don’t mind splurging on, but I definetly am making cuts on things I once thought were a necessity, but now realize they don’t matter. All that matters is that we are getting married and sharing it with our friends and family.
Definitely and now I think my dreams are more down to earth than my moms!
That is hilarious - um yeah, thank goodness our 18-year-old selves aren’t planning our weddings!
It might be important to change your vision since our research shows that 50% of couples are actually paying for their own weddings these days.
See http://www.wedalert.com/blog/2008/10/who-pays-for-most-newlyweds-they-are.asp
My vision has changed in only the months since we got engaged. At first I wanted to have the wedding at a museum in downtown Baltimore. I didn’t care of the costs, I WANTED IT! I also wanted a $4,000 photographer and fancy food, and well, I snapped out of that really quickly. I’m not going to say I was planning a $50,000 wedding just a few months ago, it probably would have ended up being around $20,000. The wedding I’m planning now is about $10,000 and I have no regrets. There really are quality vendors out there that aren’t trying to pinch ever dime from you, so I don’t regret my choices.
I understand exactly what you mean about the budget. I remember when I was 18 thinking about the designer dress I would have along with the tons of lilies and what ever else I had in my head. But now just 7 years later after earning my own money and seeing the cost of everything my budget is small and I don’t really care. Wed Alert posted about 50% of couples paying for their own weddings and I am in that 50%. I can think of a million other things to spend the money on. Don’t get me wrong I want a nice wedding but it doesn’t have to cost tons.
It’s funny because I was JUST like this just a few years ago in my late teens/ early twenties. When I talked about my big Cinderella wedding I had in mind with my then-boyfriend, my mom said “If you really wanted to marry him, you would plan your wedding for the two of you, not for everybody else.” Lo and behold…. she was actually right:)
I know exactly what you’re talking about! In my teens, I assumed my e-ring would cost a hefty sum of money, because, of course, my wealthy fiance would spend a small fortune on a huge rock. And the wedding…it would probably cost 6 figures and look like an episode of MTV’s My Super Sweet 16.
As others have said, thank goodness I moved on from that phase. Yikes.
I was actually quite surprised when my dad came back with the number that he did. I had decided that I would plan the wedding I could afford If he quoted $5,000 I would plan a wedding for that amount, and if he quoted $50,000…. well I’m not sure I would really have planned a wedding for that much, LOL. But you get the point. I think that doing it any other way would be very difficult. I never had any intention of trying to make my wedding look like a $100,000 wedding.
It’s funny becaues I have always been in love with all things wedding related, definitely one of those girls that people label as “the girl who has planned her wedidng since she was 12″. I guess that my abiding interest in weddings has made people think I would want to have a completely over the top, princess reading in a carriage type of affair. I think you can love weddings, and plan and plan one, and still have something simple that is really beautiful. Do you find others voicing the same misconceptions about you?
@Mrs. Avocado: Definitely. I’m the same way as you- I’ve been planning my wedding since I was probably 15. And up until I met Mr. Powder Puff, it didn’t really matter who I married as long as I got a huge party.
The budget I told my father I wanted (back when I was 20) came out of ignorance. I didn’t really know what weddings cost. I didn’t really realize the value of that much money. I just knew I wanted my huge party.
I think people are going to be really surprised when they attend my actual wedding. I’m keeping it very simple, and I think they may be expecting an over-the-top affair. I hope they’re pleasantly surprised!
I’m kind of in the same boat as you, Miss Powder Puff. I have been dreaming about my wedding for a long time, and a lot of my friends and family know how into the whole wedding thing I am, and they keep saying things like, “I can’t wait to see what YOUR wedding is going to look like!” And it worries me a little, because I am also working with a small budget. I don’t think you have to spend a lot to have a thoughtful, love-filled, beautiful wedding. I just hope people aren’t disappointed if my wedding isn’t some over-the-top production they were imagining . And if they are…well, too bad! lol I’ll be married to FI and that’s the important part. I’m just trying not to think about other people’s expectations.
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Mrs. Powder Puff, Chicago
Age and Occupation: 25, Preschool Teacher
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Career Services
Engagement Date: May, 2008
Wedding Date: July, 2009
Blogging Since: November 12, 2008
Venue: Outdoor ceremony, banquet hall reception
About Me: I am your typical Midwestern girl attempting to plan a sane, budget-friendly, fun wedding to the man of my dreams. I love shoes, laughing at “Platinum Weddings”, crafts, inspiration boards, candy, and basically anything I can DIY. While weddings can certainly be all-consuming, I honestly can’t wait until the ceremony is over and I can finally call Mr. Powder Puff my husband!
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