Wedding Blog
I don’t think it was ever a doubt in either Mr. Peng’s nor my mind that I would come tragically close to losing my wedding or engagement ring. In a way, it was kind of a stupid idea to buy me anything of such great monetary value. I’ve never worn jewelry in my life, and I had always said to Mr. Peng that my engagement ring would be the first and last expensive piece of jewelry that he’d ever buy me. (I always knew I wanted a fairly plain wedding band… I ended up getting an eternity band which was pretty expensive for us, but not over-the-top.)
Yesterday we were finishing up some home improvement projects, and took a banister outside to our parking lot to paint it white.
Here’s where the story gets stupid.
I took my wedding and engagement ring off and set it on the hood of my car. I remember when I did it, I thought, “Well this is frickin’ stupid.” But I did it anyway, thinking that just because I said had said three or four times in my head, “this is stupid,” that I would totally remember that I had set them there. We ran out of spray paint and hopped in the car to go get some more. You know where this is going.
We drove about 2 miles until I screamed, “HOLY SHIT,” and looked on the hood of the car, where, miracle of miracles, my engagement ring was still there. (It was literally sliding around as we pulled over. OMG.) But of course, my wedding ring, which must weigh about 2/3 less than my engagement ring, was gone. Mr. Peng dropped me off right there and I walked a slow and painful walk home, straining my eyes into the busy streets to see if I could find it. He drove home to check to see if it fell in our parking lot, and to take the opposite walking route as I did. We never found it… he even got the genius idea to place 4-5 washers on the hood of our car and drove the route a couple times with them there, to see where they would fall off. Every time one fell off he’d pull over and scour the area.
So, we kept this up for hours until it got very dark. I was surprised that Mr. Peng was not mad at me. I can’t honestly say that I’d have been as patient with him had the tables been turned and I feel very ashamed to admit that. When it finally got dark and we could search no more he hugged me and said that I’d almost made it 6 months, and that we could get another ring if I wanted. He said he wished he made more money so that it wouldn’t be a big deal to just run out and buy one, and that just about broke my heart.
Anyway, I don’t think I’ll get another wedding ring. It’s not even that the ring is irreplaceable or that it is an expense that I don’t feel like us having… it’s that I just don’t really care enough to have another ring, no matter the cost. If I did replace it, I would regard it just as I would have my original ring, so it’s not like I’d feel the shame of it not being my “real” ring. I dunno… I’m not sure what my feelings are behind not wanting another one. Maybe I just know it’s another thing I’ll probably lose. I’m married now, so the physical presence of Mr. Penguin can just substitute for the ring. It does feel a bit funny just wearing my engagement ring now, though… like I moved backwards in time. 
I guess the lesson I sadly had to learn was to never never never ever remove my rings outside of our own home. Not at the gym to put on lotion, not at a friend’s house to help do the dishes, and NOT in a frickin’ parking lot. Idiot.
Well, it was a fun 5 months.
Have you had any close calls with your rings?
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Awww, Miss Penguin! I’m so sorry! Losing my ring is one of my biggest nightmares. I lost a diamond pendant Mr. DE gave me and I cried for hours, mostly out of guilt from losing something that was expensive.
I’m glad you still have your engagement ring and I hope your band shows up someday soon.
Mrs. P! I’m so sorry about the loss of your ring! I have to tell you that I’m wildly impressed with both your and Mr. P’s attitude about it — it’s refeshing that a newlywed couple isn’t totally freaked out about the phsycial loss and that you’re able to see despite the ring being lost somewhere in CA you ARE still married 
Aw, I’m sorry to hear that. I had a heart attack yesterday when I thought I lost my engagement ring (which we will be using as a “wedding” ring). I searched high and low and almost burst into tears, which is not me at all. Of course, once he came home, he found it within minutes.
I did that with a cell phone once, but I don’t think it’s really the same thing. 
Good for you for being so graceful about it! I know many girls who would have made their husbands go buy new ones without remembering that the symbolism, not the ring, is the important part.
I totallllly know how you feel!! I was swimming in a lake with my fiance and I was worried my engagement ring would slip off (I had just put on sunscreen and my hands were slippery) so I decided to put it around the chain of my diamond necklace that my fiance gave me as well. And I lost them both I thought I was doing the right thing by putting it on the chain. I feel your pain and it is the worst thing to have happen!
that sucks. not to give you false hope but did you call your insurance? the ring might be covered under your home owners policy…
I just went back through all your posts to take a look at your long lost ring.. so sad. My brother has probably lost 20 gas caps by leaving them on the top of the car. At least your ering is gorgeous alone!!
I’m always afraid of losing my engagement ring!. I occasionlly leave my ring near sinks cause i’ll be washing dishes and leave it at the counter. But now i have a rule. If I need to take my ring off, I have to put it in my ring holder only. It works and I hate having those “You are stupid” thoughts whenever I take it off near the sink.
Oh Pengy! that’s terrible
I dropped my engagement ring down the garbage disposal once :-S
My fault - I had my ring holder on the window ledge right above the sink.. dumb dumb dumb
Luckily I was able to grab it with a pair of tongs and fling it across the kitchen (and the dog almost ate it!). Now I’m very carefull to only put the rings in holder on the counter AWAY from the sinks, or in the bedroom
Well, hopefully you have both rings insured - so that should you lose the other, or decide you want to replace the wedding band, cost is not an issue. I was pretty paranoid for the first few months, although I don’t know why. I have never worn much jewelry, but do have a couple of artisan rings, which I have had for over a dozen years with only one scare (one came off my finger in the snow, but we found it pretty quickly).
I try to never take mine off without putting them in the box - that way I always know where they are. We went on a weekend trip a few weeks ago, and I forgot the box (!) but I used a trick from years back that always worked well with my other rings: I thread them on my leather watchband and buckle it closed.
Just before the wedding, my dad and I were repairing a sprinkler pipe in my front yard. About the time we were both elbow deep in a muddy hole, my dad looks at me and says “Sue! You don’t have your ring on, do you?” Luckily I had thought to take it off when I went in to put on my “dig a muddy hole” clothes!
Oh, such a bummer. It might be a long shot, but just last week I read a story in the paper about a woman who lost her wedding ring at a park where she was playing with her kids. Hoping for the best, she reported the lost ring to the local police/sherrif’s office. That week someone found the ring and figured it was really important to someone, reported it to the police department and voila! The woman was reconnected w/her ring!
ooh noo! that sucks but its awesome that the mr was so understanding and calm. mr. marg always thinks i’m going to lose my rings (i lose everything) and i don’t think he’d be as understanding. i’m glad you still have your engagement though
I wish I lived close by so I could help you look!
I feel so bad for you.
I broke my engagement ring about 3 months into the engagement. The ring was a pearl ring (what I wanted) and I was in Miami and had to try to avoid getting hit by traffic and was bumped into by another person (also trying not to get hit) which led to the pearl coming out of my ring. I looked for it for a very long time. Do you know how many little white things there are on the ground that could resemble a pearl? At night? Yeah. A lot.
Luckily it was found, didn’t think it would happen, and now I only wear it on special occasions because it made me so paranoid about it breaking again. I was so scared that the mister was going to get mad at me but he didn’t.
You have yourself a very special man
This makes me so sad! Thank goodness you found your e-ring. But, still…
A couple of my friends have ring insurance. I don’t. I may look into it because I’ve been known to take jewelry off and forget where I put it.
oh pengy! I hope beyond all hope that you find it!
It’s always sad to hear that someone’s lost their wedding band. My dad lost his the day after the wedding. He was throwing the trash down an incinerator chute and the ring slipped off his finger. He never bothered to get a new one.
A friend of mind feels totally uncomfortable wearing her ring set except for special occasions. Instead, she bought an inexpensive cubic zirconia band that she wears all the time. I think she feels better that she still has something to show she’s married but would never feel sad about losing it.
You’ve got a sweetie of a husband, and in the end, that’s what matters.
OH NO! I am so sorry to hear about your wedding ring. At least Mr. P was really calm and cool about it!
I have two places in the is entire world I set my rings down - on the dresser in the bedroom and on a table in the kitchen. One time Mr. Cookie hid my rings when I was in the shower as a joke, and I nearly had a heart attack trying to find them because I knew I had set them on the dresser.
This story just gets sadder each time I read it. You have such a great attitude about things Peng!
Ohh Pengy, sooo sucky for you! What I can’t believe is that your E-ring didn’t disappear too!! Unbelievable! But the commenters had some good suggestions above, I hope it turns up somewhere!!
Nooooooooo!!! CHERRY PIE SMASH!!!
Not sure what I’m smashing, but damn, that sucks.
Oh no, I’m so sorry!!!! I’m glad to hear that you & Mr. P are dealing with it well. It was a really good idea to put the washers on the hood of the car! Maybe somehow it will turn up?
Use a necklace. When you take off your ring, put it on your necklace! Always, always always.
That is so sad, Peng. I’m really sorry.
Sorry to hear about that Ms. Penguin!
My good friend was swimming with her new husband on their honeymoon in Hawaii and his wedding ring slipped off into the ocean. The hotel staff said that it happens all the time and they’d never find it, but she kept at it with her snorkel and mask and they actually found it!
i think it’s inevitable that mine will suffer the same fate, but hey, we do have those hubbies who are no less fabulous with or without the ring! while symbolic, it is after all just another ‘thing’ and takes nothing away from the relationship. i think it’s *awesome* that you’re handling it so well and that mr.pengs is so understanding.
You poor thing! I have a great fear of losing either of my rings.
Once, while doing dishes, I took my engagement ring off and it fell into the sink and, of course, into the disposal drain. Luckily it nor the water was on at the time. But I will never forget the way my fiance pushed me out of the way, yelling, “MOVE!” to get it out of the drain. It was like one of those funny slo-mo moments. Just tossed me aside to save it.
And before it happened I had that “I shouldn’t do this, it could fall into the disposal” thought too.
I have to laugh, but I am sorry - that totally sucks. I laugh because it sounds like me! I did that once with my cell phone. put it on the hood, drove away, and proceeded to run it over. I never wear jewelry either, and my husband gets mad because I only wear my e-ring when we go out….but its because I worry about breaking it or losing it! And I do things like what you did. Every time I take either ring off, I put it somewhere stupid. My husband finds it, and hides it from me, sending me into a panic thinking an animal ate it, or the cat knocked it down the drain or in the toilet, or anything else. Then after a while he gives it back. But I never fail to panic and tear apart the house looking for it. I should learn by now. And he does it to make me learn to put it where it belongs! I think he will learn to keep an eye on them before I learn to put them away properly.
OH NOOOO!!! I’m so sorry Peng! Maybe it will still turn up… you never know, and I find most people to be honest. I can’t imagine finding something like a wedding ring lying around and not returning it or reporting it to the police. Maybe someone will do the same for you. Don’t give up hope!!
First and foremost, I love your attitude about the situation and you have a wonderful husband! Thank goodness you still have your e-ring (I remember you posting about it a while back and thought it was gorgeous). Material things (even wedding rings) may come and go, but the love shared between two hearts is forever
I’m so sorry, Peng. I never take my ring off in public unless I’m washing my hands, for just that reason. I’m terrified I’ll leave it somewhere, especially after hearing about a woman that works at my firm that washed her hands, forgot to put it back on and realized it when she got back to her office. In just that minute it took her to get back to the bathroom, it was gone, and her ring cost several thousand dollars more than mine. :\
Oh hunnybunny, that’s terrible. You poor thing. You’re handling it so well! I thought I lost a ring Mr. MB gave me once (which I may use as a wedding ring) and he came home to find me sobbing on the couch… he thought someone had died! You’re just an angel, and I’m so sad for your loss.
I was changing in my office’s bathroom and reapplying my makeup for a night out with my fiance, when I STUPIDLY put my ring down on the bathroom countertop so I wouldn’t get lotion on it, because it was just cleaned. like you, I said “this is not a good idea,” but I did it anyway. and wouldn’t you know, while my fiance and I were happily driving away from work, I looked down at my naked ring finger and screamed “TURN AROUND!” thankfully, when I ran back into work, the ring was right where I left it. lucky for me, I work for a small company, and it was after 5, so most people had already left. I’ve never put it down again!
Oh my, I’m so sorry - I do hope you turn around one day and find it.
I’ve been terrified of loosing my ring (it’s a combo engagement/wedding band) so I only get one shot.
In the past I’ve lost the silver butterfly charm and later ring that my honey bought me - I was so upset. Later I decided to have a small silver butterfly tattooed on my wrist as a symbol of what was there / his love / a silver butterfly that couldn’t ‘fly away’.
If your ring has diamonds try to look for it at night with a flashlight. Maybe the light from the flash light will pick up a glint from the facets and you’ll be able to find it!
Thank you all for your kind words. I do feel really sad for my loss but I do feel very oddly happy (relieved? but not totally surprised?) that Mr. Penguin has been so sweet to me about all of this… it’s 100% all my fault. I still cry when I re-read this post, so it’s not like I’m not sad about it, but it is definitely not the end of the world.
@LC: You know, I’d been toying around with the idea of a tattoo to have under my rings quite a while ago! Now that I’ve decided not to replace my wedding ring, it’s a better time than ever to actually go ahead and do it! Thanks for the wonderful reminder. Of course, its not a decision to make lightly, and I’ll have to think about the design I’d like to have done, but I really really think that getting a tattoo on my ring finger will be my replacement. Not sure if Mr. Peng will be thrilled, but it’s something that I really want to do so maybe I can talk him into liking it! (Since it symbolizes my marriage to him, I’d like him to be on board with the idea!)
@Habibi:, @Suzanno: We live in a condo, so our homeowners insurance is through our condo (we don’t have insurance for our personal belongings, as up until we got our rings, we didn’t have anything of real material value that was worth insuring). I am going to insure my engagement ring immediately. Yes, it’s stupid that it hasnt been insured thus far.
@Amanda: brilliant idea for the necklace… I will start doing this immediately!
I’m so sorry… You’re handling it so well, though, and the hubs is too sweet. Hopefully some good samaritan finds it and gets it back to you!
We used to live in a neighborhood that kept getting hit by breakins, burglaries, robberies and people getting held up (is that a robbery? I’m not sure). Anyway, when I’d walk the dogs, I’d slip my e-ring off and stick it in my pants pocket because there were ruffian all around (and that center stone is 1.5 carat– hard to hide that sparkle!).
There were a few times when I didn’t connect with it on first reach into the pocket, and once when there was a small hole… but never did I lose it. Though I do know that horrible, adrenaline, dread feeling of thinking I’d lost it!
Oh hon, you have such an awesome, chill way of ’splaining. I’d put a lost ad in the paper with a small reward… just in case
Or hang flyers!
Have you tired looking under the hood of your car? If the rings blew toward the windshield first, the ring may have slipped down under the hood!
B/c I am clumsy and lose things the very first thing FH did after giving me the E-ring was to insure it… my good friend lost her E-ring on their honeymoon so we learned our lesson from them.
P.S. I also say things like you did when putting the ring on the car so I don’t forget them in the bathroom.
@Kristen: We did I was very very optimistic that that was actually what happened… but we did a thorough search of the car’s windshield and innards.
my new husband of 1-year lost his wedding ring in the ocean on our first day honeymooning in Maui… We bought one that looked very simmilar (although much cheaper)the very next day in Maui - He was insistant that we get a replacement the next day because he felt naked without it (he had only worn the ring a couple of weeks before he lost it… and already he felt naked without it - how cute is that?)
The best engagement present I received was a crystal ring holder. I keep it in the same place always ( my bedroom) and place my rings in it when doing household chores.
Oh no! You should get a metal detector out there and look! I bet that would work!
Eek — this sucks. But I have to say that I admire the fact that, you handle everything with such grace and good humor. And Mr. Pengy does too! That washer-aided ring hunt was ingenious and patient.
oh no =( i’m thinking of getting a fake e-ring/wedding ring to wear at work because i’m in the medical field… i will definitely have to take it on and off to scrub if i have to go into surgery or whatnot.
my cousin’s best friend lost her e-ring on the first day of her honeymoon somewhere on the beach… i guess the weather made her finger shrink or the ring was lose in the first place… but they had insurance so she had it replaced
Oh no! That is so sad that you lost your wedding ring! I have never come close to losing mine but I did drop it twice on my tile floors in my bathroom. I was so shocked the center stone didn’t pop out or get scratched. Ever since then, I have been SOO careful!
ohmigoshhhhh. You’re so lucky Mr. Peng is so easy-going! *Snaps* to Mr. Penguin!
You could try listing it on Craigslist or something. One of my fiance’s coworkers lost the engagement ring he was going to propose with on the way to their vacation and they posted about it on Craigslist and some older couple had found it and returned it to them! You never know; whoever finds it might try to find the owner!
Did you have your ring insured? Mine is insured and if I drop it, lose it, toss it out the window, I can still get a replacement
Oh, I am soooooo, soooooo, sooooooo sorry about your ring! That is such a sad story and I hope someday you can look back and laugh about it. On our honeymoon, my husband’s wedding band fell off in the ocean as we were getting ready to go tubing! We had the entire resort looking with snorkel masks and believe it or not we found it. I was definitely not expecting that so it was a good surprise. And, we both take our rings off to swim now : ).
I’m totally paranoid about losing my engagement ring. . . once, I left a different ring in the pocket of my apron at work (I work for Bath & Body Works) and since then, I’m terrified I’ll do the same with my engagement ring. Why take it off at all, you ask? It’s white gold, so when I wash my hands or put lotion on, I take it off so it doesn’t damage the finish. And I wash my hands a lot apparently.
Oh no…….so sad. Thanks for sharing with us. This will alert us as to not what to do. Is it insured? We insured our rings as soon as we got them, both engagement and wedding bands. Just a suggestion if you don’t have your engagement ring insured.
AH! oh my goodness, I wish I could have been there to help search! Mr. P took it so well, I think you have a winner. I had a close call last week too. I dropped my rings in the bathroom and they went flying. My wedding band almost went down the radiator vent, but thanks to its funky shape it didn’t. The band is not a complete circle, it’s open. The open part got caught on one of the vents and hung there. I was so relieved. oh man
Aww I’m sorry. It reminds of our minimoon in Montauk, when my husband lost his ring just 2 days after the wedding. It slipped off his finger when he was trying to protect me from a big wave. I couldn’t help it I got upset, he went back in the water to look for it, waves keeps on pushing him around and never found it. I can only imagine how he felt but then I realized things couldn’t have been worse so when we came back we re-ordered his ring and never talked about what happened ever again.
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Mrs. Penguin, Northern California
Age and Occupation: 27, Weddingbee Editor in Chief
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Doctor of Physical Therapy
Engagement Date: January 29, 2007
Wedding Date: June 7, 2008
Blogging Since: September 14, 2007
Venue: Winery in the Gold Country
About Me: I love the Spice Girls, dogs with underbites, bean burritos, making messes, high fives, avoiding showers, crossword puzzles, blogs, weddings, and blogs about weddings!
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