Walking Down the Aisle… Who’s By Your Side?

Walking Down the Aisle… Who’s By Your Side?

December 1st, 2008 @ 1:08 pm by Mrs. Espresso

Who walks you down the aisle when you come from a divorced family? For 13 years, I switched houses from my mom’s to my dad’s for every week. So I spent about an equal amount of time with both my dad and step dad. They both played, and play, such large roles in my life- so who would walk me down the aisle?

I thought this over for about a week. Would I walk down the aisle with one and have my first dance with the other? Would they both walk me down? How could I make sure that they both felt included and important?

Here’s how I got down the aisle to Mr. Espresso.

As “Love and Some Verses” drifted through the pines, my stepdad walked me the first half of the way.

We then kissed on the cheek, and my dad took my arm. Here is Mr. E watching the exchange.

My dad then walked me the rest of the way, as my stepdad followed behind.

Here’s my dad giving me away to Mr. E

Having them each walk me down a part of the way worked out perfectly. Both felt included and important, and I loved having each of them there with me. And also awesome… running back up the aisle with Mr. E afterwards!

Images 1, 3, 5, 6 courtesy of Sandra Salisbury Photography

How will you be walked down the aisle?

Tags: big bear, ceremony, pictures, recap |

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17 Responses to “Walking Down the Aisle… Who’s By Your Side?”

Guest

just sayin'

oooh, the MR. is cute!

12/1/08 @ 1:30 pm (reply)

Guest

danafromslope

Since my father past away 5 years ago I have been struggling with the concept of who to walk me. I want my Mother to do it but she is adamant that it is a man’s responsibility (she’s 72 and a bit old fashioned!) My Mom wants one of my Uncles to do it but I didn’t grow up with them and it feels weird. I would rather walk by myself (I’m 39 and don’t need to be “given” away) but I worry that I will be nervous and need an arm to steady me….oh well….

12/1/08 @ 1:38 pm (reply)

Guest

Leanbean

I am doing the exact same thing! It’s a great way to make sure everyone is included and no one’s feelings are hurt.

12/1/08 @ 1:45 pm (reply)

Guest

Elle

My dad will be walking me down the aisle.

12/1/08 @ 1:46 pm (reply)

Guest

HannahT.

My dad is walking down the aisle, but my stepdad is marrying us! I’m excited that they both get to serve special roles.

12/1/08 @ 1:53 pm (reply)

Guest

Balltobe

I have the same situation! I am torn between the way you did it and having them both walk me down the aisle, with one on either side! But I like that your way gives them each their moment in the sun! Has anyone seen the ‘dad on either side’ approach?

12/1/08 @ 2:00 pm (reply)

Guest

Lori

I love this idea. But how does it work? How and when does the father that is waiting at the second half of the aisle get there? Does he walk part way down the aisle before the bride and stand there waiting?

12/1/08 @ 2:02 pm (reply)

Guest

Kristyn

I love this post. I am in the same situation, and love the idea of the aisle hand-off, however, I’m getting married on a rooftop and there isn’t much of an aisle to walk. I know my dad won’t want to “share” that short distance, and I’m at a loss. Anyone have any other ideas???

12/1/08 @ 2:02 pm (reply)

Member

budgetbeautiful (message) 1,188 posts, Bumble bee

My dad will be walking me down the stairs (I’m getting married at a mansion with a beautiful staircase) and down the wee little aisle, as we’re getting married in the main hall, which sounds huge, but it isn’t. It’ll fit our 50 or so guests perfectly.

12/1/08 @ 2:14 pm (reply)

10.

Guest

Cécy

I had both my mom and my dad at my arms (they are divorced). He was supposed to have his mom and stepmom do the same but because of miscomunication they sat down with everyone else, so instead he stopped to kiss them both.

12/1/08 @ 3:31 pm (reply)

11.

Guest

MelanieLynn

I was raised by my grandparents, so my grandpa will walk me down the isle. My mom remarried about 10 years ago. She didn’t include him in walking down the isle or set aside a dance for him. She wasn’t trying to not include him, she just didn’t think about it at the time. At the reception she did the dollar dance and he danced with her and said “I didn’t think I would have to pay a dollar to dance with you at your wedding”. So I’m glad he gets to do all of that for me!

12/1/08 @ 6:52 pm (reply)

12.

Guest

Hannah

@danafromslope:
I am walking myself down the aisle, with my bouquet wrapped with a yellow ribbon [dad's favorite color] and a locket with my fathers picture in it. [He passed away when i was 18]. I know what you mean about the weird thing, as in having someone you aren’t really close with walk you. But i figure if my fiance can walk down the aisle alone, so can i.

12/1/08 @ 7:57 pm (reply)

13.

Bee

Mrs. Espresso (message) 1,057 posts, Bumble bee

@danafromslope: Do what you feel comfortable with. I wish you the absolute best!
@HannahT.: That’s awesome! I’ve never heard of that and it’s such a great idea!
@Balltobe: I’ve heard of the dad on both sides approach but haven’t seen it. If you do decide to go this route- make sure there is enough room for you three to walk comfortably down the aisle
@Lori: What we did was: after the wedding party walked down to their music and before mine started- my dad casually walked down to the center of the aisle and waited there for me on the side. May sound weird, but it looked fine and worked out great… now that it’s over- I wouldn’t have had it any other way
@Kristyn: that’s a tough one… and I know how you feel not wanting to hurt your dad. But… have you asked him if he’d be comfortable with this? I was extremely nervous asking my dad if he’d be ok walking me half way and he surprisingly accepted with joy. Everybody’s different- but maybe if he understand the pressure it puts you under to find a different alternative- he’ll be more understanding
@Cécy: I love that both your mom and dad walked you down.
@MelanieLynn: awh that’s so nice that you’re including him so much. I’m sure this means a lot to him
@Hannah: I Love the locket and ribbon idea- very meaningful

12/1/08 @ 10:18 pm (reply)

14.

Guest

Drew

Hi Mrs Espresso!

Your wedding was beautiful! May I ask what B&B you got married at?

12/1/08 @ 10:46 pm (reply)

15.

Guest

benay

that’s a great idea! my father married us, so my mom and brother walked me down the aisle. I loved the idea of my whole family being there to hand me off to my husband.

12/1/08 @ 10:51 pm (reply)

16.

Bee

Mrs. Espresso (message) 1,057 posts, Bumble bee

@benay: Oh Thank- you so much!! We were married at the Alpenhorn Bed and Breakfast in Big Bear Lake.

12/1/08 @ 11:23 pm (reply)

17.