Wedding Blog
I just stumbled upon a fabulous book, and I instantly knew I had to share it with you all - my equally fabulous readers!
Apparently, Miss Manners is a real person (who knew!), and she penned an awesome book about wedding planning; specifically, weddings that are “painfully proper.”
Judith Martin, aka Miss Manners. Doesn’t she just exude smartness?
Here’s a little quote. A sampling to whet your palate. Please read, and then buy the book immediately.
Weddings have become meaningless and, not to say vulgar, and ostentatious. There’s a huge industry promoting that. What drives me crazy is that they’re always promoting expensive things under the name of, “It’s proper to do this,” or “People expect it.” And they’re the very things that are condemned by etiquette, which is not in the business of telling people to go into debt. But the ritual itself, if it could be hacked back to what it’s supposed to be, can be very lovely.
Consider this nugget regarding wedding favors:
Who told you that you had to give out wedding favors? Etiquette has never thought of weddings as comparable to children’s birthday parties, where the guests might need consolation for not being the center of attention. You owe them only the hospitality of the occasion.
Someone’s sassy pants are awfully tight, and I’m adoring it! Which is saying a lot, because I generally don’t like tight pants on others. Or myself.
But seriously people, don’t you just love her?!
What is the most useful wedding book you’ve found?
*Photo via Wikipedia
*Quotes via A Practical Wedding
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That’s hilarious! I agree though, getting caught up in the details like favors gets to be a little much. Ours have now increased to about $3.50 each, and that’s more than I EVER thought they’d be.
That’s awesome. Makes me feel a lot better about the fact that I’m considering no favors.
what does she say about having all invites outer envelopes hand written?
lol, Chrissy, I actually looked this up the other day — Miss Manners says all outer envelopes MUST be hand written. But she also says that only real (i.e. incredibly expensive) engraving on the invitations is acceptable and that thermography or flat printing is verboten. I wasn’t quite sure what to make of that one!
Love it! I blogged about this very comment a few weeks ago!
@Melissa B.: Wow — So I wonder if my hand addressed (by my mom who has GREAT handwriting), and letterpressed invitations pass muster…
“Someone’s sassy pants are awfully tight . . .” LOL.
“…the very things condemned by etiquette, which is not in the business of telling people to go into debt.”
See, this is why etiquette confuses so many people! You have the above statements about about the vulgarity of extravagance, and then the very contradictory rule that anything but engraving on invites JUST won’t do.
Really!?
Everything with a grain of salt, I suppose.
@BTDT Bride: My guess is Miss Manners would tell us to hand-write each of our invitations ourselves if we cannot afford engraving. Affordable, yes, but somewhat impractical! I think the thing with traditional etiquette is that it’s mostly rules for correct behavior, but it’s also partly advice on how to live a certain lifestyle (i.e. an East Coast patrician lifestyle).
That said, while I do disagree with Miss Manners’ edict against flat printing or RSVP cards, I do plan to hand-address my invitations — I always love getting hand-addressed “real mail!” — and I am in complete agreement with her on the concept of wedding favors. Carry on, Judith Martin!
I personally have met her on a number of occasions and I can tell you she’s quite eccentric (that couldn’t be more of an understatement) but I’m trying to be polite. Her ‘manners’ in public are actually quite inappropriate at times, so just because she wrote it, doesn’t mean it is the absolute law. ‘Do as I say, not as I do’ Also, take into consideration that for every generation (and lifestyle), the rules change….so I agree with the ‘East-Coast Patrician’ concept.
Lastly, think back about all the wedding invites you received in your life(before you were a bride!). Do you actually remember anything about them? I certainly don’t!
Well, I plan on writing the hand-addressing the envelopes…because like someone else mentioned, who doesn’t love getting real mail? Personally, when I see my name typed out on a sticker (clear or otherwise) I feel like I just got a mass-mailing, rather than an *invitation*. Just a few a day and it’ll be fine. But there’s no way I can swing engraving or whatever Miss Manners suggested.
And we’re not doing favors…but we are doing welcome bags as a gesture for those who have traveled a great distance to be with us which, I think is very gracious…similar to leaving out fresh towels for folks staying at your home, not like a goodie bag at a kid’s party.
Etiquette is a funny thing…it may seem ludicrous at times, but if you understand the rationale behind it, you may be able to adapt that rationale in a more modern way.
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Mrs. Powder Puff, Chicago
Age and Occupation: 25, Preschool Teacher
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Career Services
Engagement Date: May, 2008
Wedding Date: July, 2009
Blogging Since: November 12, 2008
Venue: Outdoor ceremony, banquet hall reception
About Me: I am your typical Midwestern girl attempting to plan a sane, budget-friendly, fun wedding to the man of my dreams. I love shoes, laughing at “Platinum Weddings”, crafts, inspiration boards, candy, and basically anything I can DIY. While weddings can certainly be all-consuming, I honestly can’t wait until the ceremony is over and I can finally call Mr. Powder Puff my husband!
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