Wedding Blog
Mr. Peep Toe and I are a ’mixed’ family. No, not ethnically mixed, but we come from mixed religious backgrounds.
He grew up with Hanukkah, Yom Kippur, Rosh Hashanah and a bazzillion more Jewish holidays that I am still trying to wrap my head around, while I grew up with Christmas and Easter.
I promise to write another post discussing all the religious facets for our interfaith relationship, but with Christmas and Hanukkah coming up I want to focus on the cultural celebration in our household: Chrismukkah!!!
Some of you might recognize the term from the oh-so-bad, but totally good show, The O.C.
For Mr. Peep Toe and my first holiday season together, we found an amazing website for all things Chrismukkah: www.chrismukkah.com. We immediately bought this book:
Hilarious and fabulous would be how I would describe the book and our first Chrismukkah together. We had a travel menorah that we carried from house to house, we even lit it while babysitting my niece. We were both embarrassed on Christmas morning when Mr. Peep Toe had no idea what a stocking stuffer was (totally my bad for not explaining, but who doesn’t know what a stocking stuffer is??).
We took our second holiday season together a little more seriously. We enrolled in a class at the San Francisco Jewish Community Center on Interfaith Holiday Celebrations. It was quite possibly the most enriching afternoon we had spent together as a couple. By discussing what the holiday’s symbols, colors, and traditions meant to us individually, we provided the groundwork for how we discuss our religious differences to this day. Mr. Peep Toe thought everyone ate ham on Christmas, he wasn’t comfortable with green and red, and the tradition of trimming a tree was important to me, just as lighting a menorah was important to him.
We had to discuss what we thought about each other’s holiday, what we were comfortable with, and what aspects of the holiday were important to each of us.
We decided then and there that what mattered was our own traditions.
We decided that I could decorate, but I’d use neutral colors and symbols, like silver and snowflakes.
We went out and bought a menorah and stockings that symbolized us, and we display them both equally on the mantel.
Here’s a picture of our mantel from the first night of Chrismukkah last year.
We also decided that we would exchange gifts on the first night of Hanukkah and on Christmas morning. And that if one gift was BIGGER than the other, it didn’t matter which day you gave it on.
We also found some Christmas music that Mr. Peep Toe actually now requests! And we decided that one day around the holidays we would spend the day cooking a meaningful holiday meal to incorporate both holiday traditions.
We also realized that while both holidays mean different things religiously and culturally, they were about bringing family together, appreciating what you have, and celebrating joy, peace, and happiness!!
So this weekend, Mr. Peep Toe and I are going to buy our first Chrismukkah tree together and eat some latkes (Trader Joe’s has some surprisingly good ones) and some Christmas cookies!!
Have you changed the way you celebrate the holidays due to your love? And have you adopted your own holiday traditions as a couple?
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Share this post: Chrismukkah with the Peep Toes
That is really nice, I think it is important to incorporate who you both are. I think its great you went to that class together and both appreciated it! My friend is in a similar situation, I’ll have to share that book with her! Happy Chrismukkah!
The O.C. was such a great show and I loved the Chrismukkah episodes! I think it’s great that the two of you can celebrate both holidays together.
I think it is great the way you’ve worked out your holidays 
I love how you’ve both incorporated things that mean something to you, but have also compromised - perfect example of things we do in a marriage.
Happy Chrismukkah!
I don’t have an interfaith romantic relationship but one of my best friends is Jewish and THE most fun holiday celebration I EVER had was a Chrismukkah party (or as I fondly remember it “My Big Fat Jewish Christmas”). It was so wonderful to see how they blended both faiths into a joyous celebration that everyone loved. Happy Holidays!
As a Jew is it always really weird to me that these holidays are compared - they are about as similar as celebrating MLK Jr.’s Birthday and Thanksgiving. Weird.
Oh, thanks for sharing this! My BFF is in a LTR with a Jew. The first year of holidays was a little confusing, but they’ve settled into a nice rhythm that keeps them both (and their families) happy. Basically, they celebrate the major Jewish holidays, plus secular Christmas and Easter. Like Mrs. Smith implied above, they don’t try to celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas. Her SO isn’t into Hanukkah, so they just straight out celebrate Christmas. But I’m still going to share this book with her - think she’d get a kick out of it!
thank you so much for this post. We’re celebrating our first chrismukkah this year, (I’m Jewish, he’s Catholic). We decided that the tree would be celebrated with non traditional colors, (candy apple red and turqouies), and we’re basically making everything “winter theme” as opposed to christmas or hannukah theme. I think it’s a great idea to exchange some gifts on Hannukah and some on Christmas. We’ll definitely incorporate that idea. I’m super excited for my first xmas and FH is equally excited about his first hannukah.
My husband was raised Baptist and I am Jewish. I say raised for him, because before we met he spent time soul searching, and decided he did not believe in his religion. His parents are VERY religious, so this is not something he has ever directly communicated to them. I am fairly observant as a Jew and strongly identify with the cultural aspects of my religion.
Religion was a huge stumbling block for us early on, mostly around kids. He helps me as I celebrate Hanukah in our home and we spend Christmas with his family. where possible, we see my family for a bit of hanukah, but it isn’t really an important religious holiday, so if it happens, it happens. We decorate our home in blues/whites/silvers (all red & green would be hard for me too). Early on in dating my husband got a tree, but wasn’t all that into it and never got another one. It would be really hard for me to have a christmas tree in my home, so without it being a big deal to him, we don’t have one. We get each other presents and just give them to each other on both holidays, no real set plan!
Thank you. I just decorated our house for the first time (we’d been living in teeny apartments with no room for decorations), and it was interesting. He’s Jewish, and I’m Christian. I participate a lot in his family’s traditions, but he doesn’t participate as much in mine. I tried to keep some of it neutral (lots of silver and gold and glittery things) but then got some specific Christmas items and some specific Hanukkah items. It’s going to be hard for his parents to see the house decorated though 
@ DE, the Chrismukkah episodes were totally the best.
@ Mrs. Smith, we totally realize that Hanukkah is a minor holiday in the Jewish religion, but since both fall around the same time- it’s the one time of the year we really feel the differences in our religions.
@Alla, love that you are celebrating both as well! Have a wonderful first Hannukkah (And don’t forget to tell your FH about stocking stuffers!!)
@pgar, don’t feel guilty about embracing both backgrounds. We both had to talk to parents about what the holidays meant to us at one point- so don’t be afraid to talk to them, and hang whatever makes both of you comfortable!
This is the cutest post EVER, Miss Peep! We aren’t an interfaith couple and, consequently, haven’t talked a lot about what the holidays mean to us, what is important about holidays, etc. If anything, it seems that your different backgrounds have brought you closer. Thanks for sharing this!
Wow Miss Peep Toe — what an awesome post! I love how you and Mr. Peep Toe have discussed the importance of your respective celebrations. I also think it’s super sweet that you have both started some traditions of your own. I can’t think of a better example of two lives becoming one than this 
I LOVE(d) the O.C.
And how cool that they have a book on it and everything!!
Well, happy Chrismukkah to you and yours <3!!
That’s awesome that you have worked out a way to share your holiday traditions. Merry Chrismukkah
I just honestly can’t wrap my head around celebrating these holidays together. Jews deny Jesus as the messiah, and Christians celebrate the day of the birth of Christ (significant because it is the day the Savior was born). It seems to wildly contradict each other to me. I am glad you are both willing to compromise though :).
I actually call our holiday hanumas.
Happy Holidays to you all!
My SO is Jewish, so we typically do both. Since we live together, all decorations are blue, silver and white (I think it looks a little more elegant than traditional colors). We don’t get a traditional tree (and I don’t feel as if I’m missing anything), this year I made a topiary for the occasion. We open 2 gifts on the first night of Hanukkah (the menorah, and we have several, is lit each night) - then 2 gifts on Christmas.
Since I’m more secular than he is, most of the Jewish holidays are celebrated - I rather enjoy them more. I find the Jewish holidays interesting and although I won’t convert (too lazy), I read up on most of them to find out the whys. I’m sure after we move, we will join a shul that is either reconstructionist or reform (this way I don’t HAVE to convert). And I can participate as much as I want or don’t want.
[...] first got serious, we openly discussed religion with each other, and we even went to an interfaith class. Mr. Peep clearly defines himself as Jewish, and I have a hard time defining myself as anything. I [...]
My FH and I are of he same religious background but our parents are fighting over who gets up for the holidays…
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Mrs. Peep Toe, San Francisco
Age and Occupation: 29, Policy Analyst
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 36, Olive Oil Production Manager
Engagement Date: December 16, 2007
Wedding Date: May, 2009
Blogging Since: November 26, 2008
Venue: Hotel Vitale
About Me: I am a west coast lady who loves the San Francisco Bay Area. I love living with Mr. Peep and our animals: Huck the Dog and Ferris the Cat. I work to save the environment in San Francisco, while Mr. Peep makes ridiculously delicious Olive Oil. On any day you can find me reading the latest book I have gotten my hands on, eating Swedish Fish, and perusing wedding blogs! We are both champagne drinking foodies on a Bud Light budget. We are planning an eco-chic, intimate, and interfaith San Francisco City wedding.
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