Weddingbee Blog

You can register at a travel agency. This way the guests feel good about giving you guys something that contributes to a very special trip. Once your honeymoon is paid off, have your agency tell further guests who call that it’s full.

Some people don’t like giving money but when it comes to contributing to something special, they’ll be all over it

Pretty much according to everybody, it’s not okay to ask for money. There are some cultures in which it’s customary to give money, but if you and your guests aren’t from that culture… there you are. There are websites where you can “register” for bits and pieces of your honeymoon, and there have been weddingbee posts about those sites. Basically you divide your honeymoon up into one night stays, groups of meals, activities you want to do, and let your guests pay for them. We considered that, but honestly it’s just asking for money.

One of the places we did register was Lowe’s, because we’re fixing up our house. We didn’t actually get anything bought at Lowe’s - just gift cards - and checks marked “For Your Projects!” So if you spread the word appropriately, you will get monetary gifts from some guests. I don’t know if you have some kind of home improvement projects, or want to buy new furniture or something. It does seem to me, at least in our circle of friends and family, that most people would rather give you money or a gift card towards your actual life together rather than towards a vacation. And I can understand that. After all, it’s traditional to gift something towards your life together - whereas it’s not traditional to ask your guests to send you on vacation.

I second both summerbride and Ms. Ballet Flat. The best way to go about it is to either register with a travel agent/resort or to spread your request via word of mouth.

I think you could also put on your site things you are looking forward to as a married couple ie- honeymoon, buying a house, etc. So that people know you are planning on doing things. That could help, but there are probably going to be people who get you registry type gifts. Have you thought about registering for art.

In addition to being in somewhat questionable taste those honeymoon registries are generally a really bad deal — most charge somewhere between 8-9% and some have annoying restrictions and expiration dates. I also just kind of find them tacky. Don’t mention anything about gifts on your website and spread the word through friends and family that you consider people attending the true gift and anything else is unnecessary — but you are saving up for the honeymoon. If you want to appease people, you could also let people know they can give to charity in your name and spread the word about your favorite causes.

I think it’s an issue of family and cultural tradition. This summer, I attended a shower and wedding (extended family) where it was made clear that money was the preferred gift. It was the first wedding I’d attended (out of 10-15 in the last 10 years) where that request was made by people speaking for the couple (cousins not in the wedding party)

While I understand the couple’s desire for cash (wedding was on a different continent from where they live), I, and a few other family members, resented being nudged to slip a few c-notes into an envelope. I did it, and wish the couple the greatest happiness and good fortune. It takes a little work to let go of the “sour lining” to a beautiful and joyous event.

I always give cash/checks at weddings, but not everyone does. I think if you haven’t registered by now, most people will get the hint that you don’t want physical gifts, but there really, really are going to be people who want to give you something. If you don’t register, you’re going to get crystal salt and pepper shakers. Just go to Macy’s or Bed, Bath & Beyond (awesome return policy) and register for 15 gifts and leave it at that. I can’t imagine that in your early 20s, you really have every single thing you want/need. What about some nice, upgraded sheets or towels?