Wedding Blog
It has taken Mr. G and I five and a half years to get to where we are today, and sometimes it feels like we’ve been together much longer than that. But, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. For the most part, Mr. G knows what I am thinking before I say it. When he asks me if I cleaned the kitchen like I promised I would, he knows I’m usually lying when I say “yes”. When I feel vulnerable or weak, he understands why. When something goes my way, he is happy for me. And vice versa (except for the kitchen part. Mr. G does most of the cleaning in our house…).
It takes a lot of time and effort to become someone’s best friend. In our situation, time is one of those things that has helped us to learn so much about ourselves and each other. Though times haven’t always been great (and still are far from perfect), I am comforted by the fact that Mr. G knew me when I was a little, silly 22 year old (not to say that 22 year olds are silly, but I was) with no clue what I was going to do with my life.
When we first got together, his friends teased Mr. G about being “whipped”. My friends wondered where I would disappear to when they didn’t hear from me for awhile. All in all, our families thought we were absolutely insane for spending so much time together. I chalked it up to young love and infatuation. Little did I know we were building a relationship that would result in an engagement and soon-to-be marriage.
We met around the time he was bumbling through Year 1 of law school and questioning why he was there. I was working for a torturous boss and plotting my escape. Admittedly, we were not in the prime of our careers, not even close. We eventually moved in together supposedly to save money (much to the disdain of Mama Glitter and Glitters-in-Law). Our apartment was dubbed “the penthouse” a.k.a. the second floor of a two floor apartment complex with no insulation and the scariest bathroom ever built. We were foolish. We made big mistakes, fought like cats and dogs, and said things we didn’t mean. Together we lived through numerous family issues, financial strain, a period of time where I was ill and doctors didn’t know what was wrong with me, a long distance relationship (twice), and several other bumps along the way. Each bump has left a healed wound; a battle scar that I am proud to bear, because it helps me to remember that, in many ways, we’ve grown up together.
Have you and your significant other been together for a long time? Regardless of how long you’ve been together, have you faced obstacles that have helped bring you closer together?
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Share this post: We’ve Grown Up Together
Your story is like a mirror of my story, except we’ve been together since I was 17 and he was 19… five years later - well it will be five and a half when we get married this June… but I love him even more now then I did then.
Mr. Canary and I dated for seven years before we got married. Like you and Mr. Glitter, we definitely grew up together. We fought about silly things and big things, we did the long-distance part, and went through a lot together. Despite all that, we feel that our relationship is stronger than ever. We really know each other and I love that about us. We come home every night and despite a long day, we can always find something to laugh about.
I already told you are story, but just want to say I love your posts! They are always fun to comment on and relatable!
We started dating when I was 18 and he was 17… we went to the same college together 2 hours away from home. It definitely made us learn to rely on each other and become closer… and yes we have had our low points, but we always knew we’d stick by each other’s side. We got married a couple of months ago, the day after our 5 year dating anniversary. he’s definitely my best friend and we’re definitely grown up together!
I’m surprised so many people are marrying people with whom they bicker often. It’s as if people put so much time into a relationship that, even if it isn’t the ideal relationship, they can’t imagine life any other way and they’re of “marrying age,” so they get married. It seems like if you and your partner are truly a good match, you’ll view the world (from little things like chores to big things like communication) the same way, thus avoiding spats. My husband and I dated for 10 years before marrying, and I raised my voice just once in all that time (during the stress of wedding planning, lol). A lot of people like to say that marriage is hard work, but…it really isn’t if you’ve picked the right person. And now, I’ll brace myself…
I have known my fiancé since we were in kindergarten together and very literally grew up with him. We started dating when we were 16 and fell madly in love. We are both 22 now and will be getting married next September. I feel so lucky that he has always been in my life and I didn’t have to spend years and years trying to find him. Such a gift! Congratulations Miss G!
West Coast Groom and I have been together for four years, and although it doesn’t sound like a long time to me, the amount of development and change we both went through in those years was phenomenal. I was 19 and still in university when I met West Coast Groom, and he was in the late twenties transition that most men seem to go through (I think he would potentially object to labelling it as “looking to settle down” but you get the idea). We were never “bumpy” or “rocky” or wildly fighting or anything like that, but we did grow stronger in our bond, and our love, through significant personal change and I have to agree with Miss Glitter that that has profound meaning in our relationship today.
I think all relationships are different, and what works for you and your husband may not work for others. I know couples that are together because of deep compatibility (and similiarities) resulting in the type of marriage Lina was talking about. But I think the point of Ms. Glitter’s post was that she met Mr. G at a stage in her life when she had lots of personal development and maturing to do, and in their relationship they did that together. Learning how to be a good partner takes maturity, and I think the point of the post was to discuss how your relationship has promoted growth, not fighting.
I think it is awesome that you have been together so long!! Mr. Peep and I met a bit older, but we have still both grown up a lot since. I think that growing together is a sign of a good relationship!!
Wow, your story is a lot like ours, minus the long distance, but definitely echoing the disgraceful bathroom (do we really need those tiles in the shower?) and the crappy apartment. 
We’ve also been together 5 and a half years, and have managed to survive moving to another country together … lots of pressure there!
Yes, we’ve been together since high school, going on 7 years and a few months!
My story is kind of similar to yours. Me and my fiance have been together for 5 years but were best friends all throughout high school and beyond. I am still amazed that we made it through everything and are where we are today. Congrats to you!
I appreciate everyone’s input!! I love to hear your stories.
@Lina: Hmmm, I don’t know if I agree with you about viewing the world through the same eyes as being the “ideal relationship”. One of the things I treasure most about my relationship with Mr. G is that we view the world very differently. Regardless, I must commend you on 10 years without a fight. Wow!
@West Coast bride: I couldn’t agree with you more. Thanks for really understanding what I was trying to say
@Lina: “It seems like if you and your partner are truly a good match, you’ll view the world (from little things like chores to big things like communication) the same way, thus avoiding spats.”
Just because you view the world the same way, doesn’t mean you fight. It’s awesome that you don’t, but it really depends on the personalities of the people involved. My fiance and I are very similar…but, especially when under a lot of stress(the past few years have involved a lot of major life changes and stresses for me), I tend to get irritable which means that sometimes we do have spats even though it has nothing to do with how compatible we are or how great our relationship is otherwise. I do think that my fiance is my ideal partner, even though we as individuals still have things we need to work on(such as my temper, which I am) and I certainly don’t think I’m settling just because we have arguments sometimes.
@anon: Obviously my first sentence should read “Just because you view the world the same way, doesn’t mean you -won’t- fight.”
Miss Glitter, I know exactly where you are coming from. My fiance and I have been together for eight years, but have been friends for fifteen years. He was my first boyfriend, met at fourteen, dated, broke up and stayed friends. We connected again at age 20 and have been in a serious relationship since. We just got engaged last month.
Anyway, like you and Mr. Glitter, we have had our highs and lows. We’ve had really terrible fights, near break-ups, and said stupid things we didn’t mean. But this whole process is like testing the relationship by fire. You are right… it takes a lot of energy, hard work, and effort to get to a zen moment in your relationship. It’s great that some couples can just float effortlessly into that zen state, but sometimes it is so meaningful to know that you have survived many obstacles together, fought off the demons together and finally reached a point where you’re both at a good place within yourselves and with each other. You can now sit back and admire everything you’ve worked hard for, and have confidence in the fact that it was all worth it.
I always say that my fiance and I grew up together. When we were younger we didn’t know ourselves too well, we weren’t individually complete yet, and so we behaved immaturely during disagreements and didn’t quite know how to exercise the genuine meaning of patience or tolerance. But over the years we developed into mature individuals together, while supporting each other. Now we are at this amazing moment in our lives and it’s so refreshing to know that we got better with time. I do not regret nor would I ever trade a single moment of our imperfect past.
Everything that lead us to where we are now is the history of the progression of our love, and I am so proud that we’ve come such a long way.
Thanks so much for your post, it was inspiring and encouraging!
I loved your post! We were 23 when we met and 26 when we were engaged (28 when we get married). Though it can be frustrating at times, there are so many things that are wonderful and special about having so many “grown up firsts” together!
Like you and a lot of the others, my FI and I have been together for nearly 6 years now and will be getting married in June! We practically grew up together since we’re from the same small community and went to school together since pre-school. My first memory of him was from the middle school musical and his first memory of me was from jazz band around the same time. We didn’t start dating until the end of high school, but he’s told me that since he first met me, he knew we would be together someday.
We’ve had our highs and lows, spent nearly three years long-distance, and now living together in a tiny apartment. We’re both very similar in many ways, but we still argue. I feel having arguments is better than not, because otherwise we wouldn’t talk about anything that’s causing us problems. And talking is the only way to grow together and mature together. We are two completely different people today than we were 6 years ago, with different goals and needs. But since we’ve done this together, we know what those are without having to ask.
Mr. HC and I have been together for nearly 14 years, so I totally get what you are saying. Like you and Mr. G, we’ve definitely grown up together, literally and figuratively, and there’s something very special about marrying your best friend, confidant, and partner-in-crime.
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Mrs. Glitter, Los Angeles
Age and Occupation: 27, Research Consultant/Writer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Accounting
Engagement Date: May 6, 2007
Wedding Date: June, 2009
Venue: Millenium Biltmore Hotel
About Me: I was born and raised in West Los Angeles, California. I spent eight years in the Northeast working and completing my education. Having split time between two sides of the country has given me a true appreciation for both coasts. It has also provided an overabundance of cross country drives, flights and long distance relationship fun/misery! I love my family, my doggy Emma, fabulous wine, Anthropologie, politics, reading, being outdoors, exploring new cities, and good movies! My fiance and I are complete opposites, but somehow we have managed to fall completely and hopelessly in love.
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