Wedding Blog

I’ve been casually looking around at bridal lingerie (mostly online). There’s the Spanx with awkward strapless bra look that I will be sporting under my gown. However, as hot as that may sound, I am looking for something Mr. G might actually *enjoy* seeing me in. As said before, I’ve just started looking… but I’m already noticing a trend. Some are too sexy, some are not sexy enough, and others are just downright hilarious. Jeez, this is gonna be harder than I thought.

Option 2, Fun:

Here’s one that’s inappropriate for reasons different than the first one. The tank top properly states “Bride”, but then it goes on to exclaim, “Buy Me A Shot!” Ummm, okay. Not something I want to be wearing on my wedding night. And furthermore, even if it’s meant for the bachelorette party… I don’t think my FI would appreciate me parading around the streets of Hollywood in that get up! Do the fake breasts and tiara come with?

Option 3, The Opposite of Option 1: This one reminds me of something college girls try to pass off as a “Halloween costume”. Isn’t it funny how most female costumes these days now have the word “sexy” in front of them? I’m not an angel… I’m a sexy angel! But I digress. Yeah, me and this little ensemble… ain’t gonna happen.

I had some reservations about the possibility of looking like this under my gown… (a look so dreadful it might actually make Mr. G reconsider his decision to marry me).

Yes, the Spanx actually loops and attaches itself to the bra. And yes, those are some mighty hot stripper heels.

You should be comforted by the fact that you will magically transform your arse from a hot mess to smooth as silk.

Gee, I’m sure glad my backside won’t look like the “before” picture. But it doesn’t change the fact that I would still look like a suffocating sausage on my wedding night.

Recently, while looking at Macys.com, I found some options to counteract the sheer lack of sexiness pictured above. Let me share a few with you.

Luleh “Satin & Lace” Demi Bra ($36) & Boy Thong ($10)

DKNY “Lavish Lace” Cut & Sew Contour Bra ($25), Tanga ($18) & Garter Belt ($18)

Betsey Johnson “Bow Lace” Longline Corset ($88) & Low-Rise Thong ($18)

I saw a couple cute things at Vicki’s Secret online as well. Always a good default plan. I could be super cheap and pull the whole excuse, “Well, I’m only gonna be wearing it for like five minutes… blah blah.” But cheapness aside, I want to find something decent that I won’t want to kick my own ass for wearing. I wouldn’t mind something I could re-use as well.

I think I’m getting closer to figuring out this lingerie situation. Now the only thing left to do is to exercise and get in shape. Hmmm….

Have you taken the plunge and bought your wedding night attire? What does it look like and where did you find it?