Weddingbee Blog

So, I was supposed to get married on NYE this year (in a few days!) and we had to postpone due to his mother being diagnosed with cancer, family stress, me starting my doctoral program, etc. So our new date is Aug 22, 2009.  We changed the date a good 5 months or so before it would have happened.

Our problem is that we were initially inviting 450 people (gasp!) because we’re both Greek and neither side could cut down the list. STDs were sent, but no invites, obviously. Honestly, now that we have more time, so many things have changed from what they were going to be initially about our wedding, and we’d really like to scale it down a bit. Also, with the economy and everyone’s finances right now, we kind of NEED to scale it down. So we’d like to only invite like 300 or so. Our parents are mostly OK with it, even though they’re worried about what to say to some people who are asking about the new date and probably won’t be invited now.

Is it really bad to do this? I’ve heard mixed reviews. I know we technically should invite all the people who got the original STD, but they were sent so long ago (and some people that got STDs I never talk to anymore), and for a different wedding all together. It just seems like we should be able to do what we want for our big day. That’s what other people have told me- not to worry because you can’t please everyone. But we don’t want to ruffle too many feathers.

Any advice?! I hate this situation!!  EEEKK!!!

monalisa670

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Dear monalisa670,

I would evaluate the invitations of the 150 potential non-invitees on a case-by-case basis.

If someone is close enough to the family that you fear awkwardness and hurt feelings at the prospect of not inviting them (like, they are the only set of cousins not invited), then I would just go ahead and invite them to save yourself the heartache. But if another person exists in a relative vacuum to the rest of the family, then your non-invitation may pass unnoticed so you needn’t worry or bother inviting them again.

For those that are inquiring but are no longer invited, you and your parents should tell the truth: Due to personal and financial reasons, you have reevaluated the type of wedding you are able to have. You plan to have a smaller family wedding—let them make their own assumptions about what that means.

Regardless, your problem may solve itself for you: you are not the only ones affected by the tanking economy. Brides everywhere are seeing shrinking guest lists. Unless all your guests are local, it is likely that many out-of-towners (especially those more distantly related or less important—like the 150 you might have cut) will not come anyway. Good luck!

chelseamorning

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