Weddingbee Blog

Hello All!

My fiance and I got engaged two months ago and we are really ahead of the game (I think) as far as planning goes.  We are getting married 8/29/09 and I have been very excited about everything until a couple of days ago and now I need some help!  My brother and sister-in-law just announced that they are expecting another child who will be born in August.  My best friend also got engaged on Christmas Day but said that she wanted to wait until after my wedding to get married.  When she called today, she said that they are now planning on a July 25th or early August wedding and she keeps talking about how great her wedding will be.  Since these two things have come up, I have been really jealous.  I know I am being silly but I just can’t help it!  I feel like these two things are taking away from my day that I had planned first.  Please help me to understand.  I know that I am not acting right but it just bothers me.

jessie4212

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Dear jessie4212,

Unfortunately, you get a wedding day, not a wedding week or a wedding month or a wedding year. We brides may feel like our weddings are at the center of the universe, but unfortunately life continues for everyone else in the meantime, for good or for ill.

You can’t control it, so you may as well embrace it. In a way you’re lucky, cause all of the life events happening around you are really positive. Imagine if the clamor was over someone losing their job and not being able to care of their family, or someone getting really sick.

Now that would be something to stress about. But this? No one ever died from an excess of joy in the family.

Also, your brother and your friend are probably feeling some of that jealousy you’re feeling too—fear that your wedding might overshadow their wedding/new baby. So you’re not alone in that regard either—so take heart.

Share their joy and express your own joy and I think you’ll be surprised at how much it enhances your wedding planning experience. Many brides feel really alone when they’re wedding planning because they’re the first (or last) among their friends to marry. You and your friend, however, can be a great resource and support for one another during this time. She will probably be the only one in your real life who will tolerate non-stop wedding talk!

Here are a few previous posts that have touched on this emotion in various situations. I hope you will find them helpful:

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/shes-stealing-my-thunder

http://www.weddingbee.com/2007/01/26/the-sibling-race/

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/sister-gets-engaged-on-eve-of-wedding

chelseamorning

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