Wedding Blog
The bane of my existenceForget the shoes, we have MUCH bigger fish to fry. Much. Turns out lovely Island bridesmaid, C, did not order her dress from el Crew like she was supposed to. It also turns out that my good friends in the oh-so-helpful and knowledgeable Weddings and Parties division were somewhat misinformed on the continuation of the Sophia navy into spring as clearly this is not the case.
When I was first informed of this malady I didn’t get angry.
Instead I went into survival mode and focused my one-track mind on the prize – just find the dress. Surely the Crew would be accommodating and helpful seeing as I’ve basically liquidated a trust fund’s worth of currency on their fine goods over the years. Yeah, not so much. I’ll spare you the gory frustrating details, but suffice it to say that Crew and I are totally in a fight right now.
After hitting the wall of complacency at Crew I turned to the next logical place to source the Sophia—eBay. I am CONSTANTLY finding boatloads of J.Crew merch on eBay and was highly optimistic I would find the dress. Well, I did find the dress. Too bad someone else bought it RIGHT FROM UNDER MY NOSE. Gah!
Okay fine, Crew sucks and eBay is no help. So, I branched out in my search. I came across a great blog that seemed promising, but to date, no dice.
So, here we are. These are my options as I see it:
a) Continue scouring eBay and sending out positive vibes that someone has a J.Crew Sophia long navy size 12 and is just waiting to list it
b) Have Island bridesmaid purchase a white version of the dress and have it dyed to match the others
c) Throw my hands up and say, “eff it,” and tell her to wear whatever the hell she wants to because at this point I am pretty close to being COMPLETELY OVER IT
So hive, I’m turning to you (again). What would you do in my situation? Anyone out there have a line on the black market J.Crew trade?
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I say tell her to buy it in white and have it dyed… I mean its pretty much her fault that she didn’t get the dress in time right.
Also a friend of mine was in a wedding a few years back where the bride chose David’s Bridal BM dresses - well she is 6′2″ and the dress didn’t fit her right and wasn’t long enough, she took a picture to a dress maker and had it made in her size, that may be an other option :-/ Good Luck!
Well, I’m no expert on matching bridal parties, but I would think if the white one was dyed, it may or may not be an *exact* match, right? If it were a different dress altogether, it wouldn’t match at all. If it were me, in this case, I’d go for the ’short’ Sophia in Navy. There’s going to be a difference no matter which route you choose, at least this way she’d match in color & style! 
There are a couple of the ’short’ version in 12 on Ebay right now.
Ohhh…this is a tough one! I am crossing my fingers for you that someone who has one to spare might read this. Could you also try something a little less conventional, like a Craig’s List post? Would you consider having her wear the same dress in a complimentary color (i.e. all of my BMs are wearing espresso and my MOH is wearing pink)? As a last resort, I’d ask her to buy it and dye it.
I am not sure option b is plausible. Silk can very difficult to dye.
Option A is possible but left to fate in my opinion.
Option D, by some freak miracle your MOH and Island BM are the same size, purchase a different matching dress for the MOH?
Good Luck. Sorry you are in this predicament!
Yikes! That is so frustrating. Can J Crew connect you with a bride who has recently purchased those dresses for a wedding before yours? Maybe you can contact her directly to see if one of her bridesmaids could pass the dress on to you?
Wow. That sucks. I say purchase one short one and then search your little heart out for a long one. If you never find one, at least you’ll have a back up!
I’ll send good J. Crew thoughts your way!
I would give the BM another job at the wedding. She dropped the ball by not ordering the dress. If she does something other than BM, she can get another dress that compliments but doesn’t have to match and your ordeal is over. Which in my opinion is her ordeal not yours. Yeah I’m a b** like that.
Did you e-mail the Ebay thief and plead with them? Maybe they just need the dress for themselves and really they could get something else. Or they need the dress before you and would be willing to sell it to you after? One time someone stole a dress from me on Ebay and I e-mailed them. It worked out in my favor because when they got the dress they didn’t like it because it didn’t fit right or something, so they sold it to me! Either way, plead and maybe they can work something out with you.
I’m a believer in fate and you still have a little time left, so I would wait a little longer and keep scouring Ebay and places like that before you have to resort to another option. I do like Charlene’s option D, also. Good luck!
Is your MOH the same size - or close? Able to take it out or in? Have you MOH switch with Bridesmaid C and get a different dress for MOH - again that way the bm look the same and the MOH is a little different. Could even do a different color with a navy sash to match the bm, and the bm can wear the MOH dress color sash.
I did a quick search on ebay and found it in a size 10 - maybe a seamstress could let the dress out enough for it to fit her or add panels to the dress - you could use fabric from the other BMs alterations or maybe J crew could sell you some fabric?
It will all work out in the end!
*I am not sure if it’s the right one but this is a 16, you can have it tailored in!
Since Krystyli found the dress in a size 10 I would go ahead and get that one. She’ll have until April to fit into it.
Have you been in touch with an actual person at JCrew? We had difficulty getting enough dresses because we were also getting a color that was being phased out, but they were able to locate them over time and send them as they came into stock. I was constantly emailing with someone at JCrew… My guess is that you’ve talked with them since you mentioned weddings & parties, but I just wanted to be sure. You can always talk to a real person there, and they can be quite helpful.
Ok so I don’t know a lot about sewing but I thought I would throw this idea out there just in case it helps. Have you thought about trying to find two versions of the short dress on ebay and use the second one as fabric to make the first a longer one? I would think a good semstress could make something work out that wouldn’t be too noticable if at all. It might be easier then trying to dye one to match. Good luck I’ve got my fingers crossed for you
Annette that one isn’t it. It’s a full length gown.
@Krystyli: That’s the one that slipped away! Unforch it has been snapped up already 
@Mrs. Cherry Pie: Ya, I’ve spoken to a few winners over at J Crew…no luck
Thanks ladies for all of your good vibes and awesome ideas!! Hopefully it’ll workout…gotta stay positive
I definitely agree that this is a toughie… I agree with Miss Peep Toe & HeidiInWonderland, get the dress Sophia in “short” and have her wear a different length. Could you possibly return some of your other long ones and have a few girls in long and a few in short to be a bit more cohesive? Otherwise, I would keep searching eBay! Good luck! I’m thinking happy little J. Crew thoughts for you.
Can you have J Crew sell you the fabric and take it to a seamstress to have the dress made?
perhaps try some of the jcrew outlets? they may have some out there that isn’t pulling up on inventory!
Yikes! I’d just look for a decent dress maker in your area and see if she could make the dress. It might be a bit of a search to find one, but you have a more definitely conclusion than just waiting (and hoping!) for someone to list the dress on ebay. And technically, it would be up to your BM to pay the cost, and hopefully she won’t mind, since she should have ordered the dress on time.
Miss Lemonade, I just looked on J. Crew’s website. They have a size 14 in the Navy (long length). I’d say buy that one and have it altered.
Again, best of luck!!
P.S. J. Crew stores will do free alterations if you have a the credit card. I don’t know their policies on formal wear since most stores don’t carry it, but you could always ask!!
Get the short one, hem the rest.
I saw this on Craigslist:
http://stlouis.craigslist.org/clo/980038940.html
I’m not sure if it’s long or short or if they would ship to you and it’s a size 10, but it may be worth checking out!
Hiya! If you try the ebay route again… try using Hammersnipe… it’s free and snipes the auction for you at 10 seconds before the close of the auction. 3 seconds if you pay for the service… might improve your chances of winning the auction good luck!
it looks like it is on j. crew’s website? in a size 14. you could easily have it taken in, although it won’t be cheap. that really stinks she didn’t order the dress yet!
or you could have her just get the shorter one and have her walk either first or last down the aisle?
Here it is in size 14 in navy and on sale!!
That link I posted isn’t taking you to the one on sale. Go search for it in the sales link.
I agree with Andreika and the others … get the size 14 on sale and get in taken in (and get the BM to pay for alterations!)
p.s. I feel your J Crew pain … the short Sophia in forest green is my perfect BM dress … but they discontinued it just after I got engaged
many of the above posters have made wonderful suggestions! i wish i could be of more help. i’m in a fight with j.crew right now, too. ordered stuff, they lost my tracking number, probably lost my order and no one seems to give a rat’s as*.
i like the idea of purchasing either the dress in a size 14 and having it taken in, or purchasing a shorter version of the same dress. it seems a bit risky to dye it or have it made. just my opinion! good luck!!!
JCrew actually has a great return policy. If all the girls still have their order numbers (JCrew can even look this up for you) and haven’t done any alterations, you could return them all and start over. Or have some of them return their dresses. Then you could choose another dress in the same color for them and the bad bridesmaid to get That way it may be half in one dress half in the other and one won’t stand out. They have the cotton cady dresses and the short cecelia dress in navy.
Good luck!
I agree with the suggestion of making the dress….you might be able to convince JCrew to divulge the fabric maker. Making it super easy to make a similar dress…it looks like a pretty basic sew.
Good luck!! Keep your chin up. (And shame on Bridesmaid C for not pulling her weight!)
How frustrating! My favorite ideas so far are:
1.) Bridesmaid C orders the short navy dress, and the other girls’ dresses are hemmed so they are all the same length.
2.) Ask your MOH to give her long navy dress to Bridesmaid C, and then have MOH order the same dress in a different but complementary color, like champagne so that she stands out.
3.) If it is not too late, return all of the long navy dresses and replace them with the short ones.
And beware of J.Crew’s evil “final sale” - nothing purchased on final sale can be returned.
oh man, that sucks! Do you know any seamstresses that might be able to create a similar dress? Best of luck!
there are tons in tea length on ebay in that size and color, just get the other girls’ altered to tea length. It’s super cute anyway.
Looks like you got lots of good advice, I’m just chiming in to say HOW RUDE!
Shoot, I just realized that you might think I was calling YOU rude. I was not. You are not rude. Other people are. You are lovely. And pretty.
What a mess. I thought that this would happen to me as well, so I purchased all of their dresses myself…now they just have to pay me back…haha.
What great thoughts everyone! Now here’s a little story about BM C: she’s one of the most organized people you’ll ever meet!! However, she has been working on a cruise ship in the Pacific for the last 5 months and making connections (especially internet and phone in order to place a dress order…or heck…just pay bills) with the outside world is impossible!! SOOO perhaps you could all keep your “shaming” etc to yourselves! Thank you and have a great day! I’ll be taking care of everything so Miss Lemonade doesn’t have anything to worry about! Happy Weddings y’all!!
Oooh honey, OUCH. I hope the BM is repentant? And is helping you to track down this dress?? It does exist somewhere, I just know it so I’ll scrunch up my nose and send you some positive thoughts. *scrunchiiiiiingggg*
Oh, I just read the note from BM C. Whew! Sounds like it’s in good hands. Yay! These things happen… it’ll turn out great and one day we’ll all sit around and chuckle about it. *more nose scruncchhiiiiiiing*
Sounds like you’ve gotten some great ideas. If you’re willing to endure the agony of not knowing what will happen for a while, you can also set a “Saved Search” on eBay. Just do a search for the item you want and then click on “save this search” at the top of the page. Ebay will email you automatically whenever something matching your search term is listed. It’s actually how I found my wedding dress — put in a search for the dress I knew I wanted, and one day it just appeared!
I would kindly tell lovely island bridesmaid C that unfortunately she can no longer be a part of the wedding party. Maybe she can take part in the ceremony in some other way, like doing a reading.
No worries– keep checking back with J crew someone will return one. And also CALL the outlet stores near you they may have it and it won’t show up on the website. (thats how I got the ever elusive black ugg boots) and if that doesn’t pan out just let your bridesmaid handle it the best she can… long taken in, or a short dress… in the end what matters is having friends and family with you on your big day not that they all match!!
Hi
I own that dress in Navy but in a size 10…more than happy to sell it at a VERY discounted price. I only wore it 1x
Let me know!!
Wait I just realized you needed long…sorry mine is more tea length so that may not help so much. Sorry for the false hope
Hi me again. - I just read all the posts - honestly Ill probably never wear that dress again so if you want it as a back up for your bridesmaid Im more than happy to send it to you for free if you cover the shipping - just a thought
This is probably too small, but there are 2 long Sophia’s on ebay, but they are size 8:
http://cgi.ebay.com/New-J-crew-Navy-Blue-SOPHIA-Silk-Long-Dress-Gown-8_W0QQitemZ310116909369QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUS_CSA_WC_Dresses?_trksid=p3286.m20.l1116
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Mrs. Lemonade, Austin/San Antonio
Age and Occupation: 28, Bureaucrat
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Music Management
Engagement Date: December 21, 2007
Wedding Date: April, 2009
Blogging Since: August 22, 2008
Venue: Country Club ceremony, ballroom reception
About Me: I’m a total wonkette who is lucky enough to be surrounded by her favorite things on a daily basis – awesome music, the great State of Texas and of course, Mr. Lemonade! I find any excuse I can to craft something and am completely infatuated with the 1950’s, all things Kennedy, and my furbaby Vida.
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