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This is a topic that I’ve been musing over for quite a while. Ever since Mr. Puffy and I got engaged, to be exact. And I would like someone else’s input besides the voice in my own head (”There’s only one… that speaks English.” Bonus BFF points if you can name that quote!).
The question that’s been the source of so much angst? What to call my in-laws after the wedding.
My parents both call each other’s parents “Mom” and “Dad”. It’s something that they’re both very comfortable with, and have no qualms about it. Me? I’m more uncomfortable with the idea that I’m calling someone who didn’t raise me by the names I give my parents.
Up until this point, I’ve avoided calling Mr. Powder Puff’s parents anything. They’ve invited me graciously to call them by their first names, but I haven’t taken them up on that. The one time I had to call my future father-in-law, I freaked out at the last second and called him Mr. ___. How awkward is that?!
The wedding is fast approaching, and I’m going to have to make a decision on this either way. Help!
So answer me this, hive—what do you call your in-laws?
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I call my in-laws by their first names but my FH calls my parents mom & dad b/c they asked that he call them that. He has no problem with it and I think actually likes it. I would be happy to call my in-laws mom & dad as well, but will wait to see if they extend the courtesy my way after the wedding. It may be old fashioned but I think its a really nice tradition to call your in-laws mom & dad. I say do it if they are ok with it!
To be honest I’m in the same boat. My FMIL asked me (demanded) me to call her Mom. I just feel really weird doing that. I have no idea what I’ll call her, especially since first name’s a no-go. Ugh.
My FILs want to be called mom and, but for me, it’s not right. I have a mom and dad. I do, however, call his grandpa grandpa. I haven’t had any of those since I was 5, so its sweet to have one who treats me like one of his own. I just his parents by their first names.
I call my inlaws mom and dad, except if i’m referencing them to my parents-I feel bad if I call them the same name and I don’t want to hurt my parents’ feelings.
I call mine by their first names. I have a MIL, FIL, and a step-MIL, which makes things a little more complex. If my MIL wanted me to call her mom (which she’s never mentioned) I might consider it but it would feel weird. My parents call their in-laws by their first names too.
We have a weird situation - DF and his sister call their parents by their first names. So I guess I should, too, right? I guess I’ll just have to get used to it.
Although - I have called one other lady Mom, my housemother in college. Felt pretty good after a while. 
My fiance’s mom died a few years ago, so we just have his dad. I call him both Dad and by his first name. Just depends on the situation. We always refer to his mom as Mom.
I understand your awkward feelings in transitioning to first names. But call them by what they asked to be called! After a while it comes off as rude when you insist on being formal with people. And don’t try to avoid saying their names — that is even ruder! First names work well and after the first few times it will feel natural. Good luck!
I call my FILs by their first names. I agree that a Mr. or Mrs. would be pretty awkward! I care for my FILs a lot, but I don’t feel parental love toward them. I care about them as the people who raised my amazing H2B and continue to support us in our adult life together. Generally, if people have a specific name they WANT to be called, they’ll tell you. Don’t stress about it, just use whatever name is comfortable for you.
My only experiance I had and will ever have (my FI is not close to his parents and in fact I may not even meet them until the wedding if they come) and I had the same problem!
I had no problem calling his dad “Dad” because the person I consider my dad is really my step-dad and I’ve always called him by his first name and that just worked.
The MIL was a WHOLE different story. My mom is my MOM and the only one I ever called “mom”. BUT I do call her mom (having a kid with a man tends to keep you in touch with his parents ever after you stop talking to him) because her first name is not a name I can say with a straight face. She is 100% Greman and that name is quite normal over there, so I am told, but it is just silly to me. So, I call her mom if I HAVE to, but other then that I just talk to her and don’t say any name.
I was raised to call everyone Mr and Mrs. so the first name thing is strange to me to this day, but they are going to be your family, so first names are fine - or maybe you can do Pop or Ma or something totally different from what you call your folks!
I’m in the same boat. I’ve managed to squeak by these past 6 (!) years without directly addressing either of them with a name. Maybe someday I’ll feel comfortable enough to say their names, but until then…..who knows. My FI does the same with my parents, but I imagine it being a little more awkward for him since he had both of them as teachers for several years growing up!
See I grew up in a totally different household where my parents called their inlaws by their first names. I would feel weird calling my fi’s parents mom and dad. To me I have a mom and dad, but I do the same as you and try to avoid calling them anything.
I’ve been married a little over a year and call my inlaws mom and dad. It takes some getting used to, but I call my own parents “ma” and “daddy” so it’s different. However, when referring to them when talking to my parents, I call them by their names :). I’m also traditional and I like the mom/dad idea. My hubby calls my mother, “mom” and my dad by his first name (b/c my dad told him too) LOL!
My FMIL has the same first name as me, spelled differently, but pronounced the same. It is incredibly confusing for me when I am in the same room with her. I don’t really call his parents anything, I am good at avoiding it. I haven’t call my best friend since elementary school’s mother her first name ever, even though I was over at her house all the time. She was also my school librarian, so I couldn’t figure out how to address her. 
Good question! Zach and I have been married 3 years now. I call his parents by their first names, and he calls my mom by her first name, but he calls my dad Mr. Brouillet. It’s just because my dad is a little different. When all else fails - just ask! … seeing they already said you could call them by their first name - go for it! I’m sure it’ll make them feel special when you take them up on their offer (first time coming to the blog.. love it!
I call my FMIL and FFIL by their first names right now. I don’t see the need to change it after we’re married. I have one mom and dad and I prefer to keep it that way. However, my parents insist that FI call them mom and dad after marriage and he doesn’t mind doing so.
I totally understand your angst about this, but one thing I can tell you is that my brother’s fiancee and eventually wife started avoiding calling my parents by ANY name a while before the wedding (after my parents had invited her to use their first names) and it really drove a wedge between my parents and her. My mom found it really offensive that she wouldn’t address them by name, and seemed to sometimes avoid talking to them for this reason. (Maybe that’s my mom being weird, but still — just call them by their names!!!)
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Mrs. Powder Puff, Chicago Age and Occupation: 25, Preschool Teacher Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Career Services Engagement Date: May, 2008 Wedding Date: July, 2009 Blogging Since: November 12, 2008 Venue: Outdoor ceremony, banquet hall reception About Me: I am your typical Midwestern girl attempting to plan a sane, budget-friendly, fun wedding to the man of my dreams. I love shoes, laughing at “Platinum Weddings”, crafts, inspiration boards, candy, and basically anything I can DIY. While weddings can certainly be all-consuming, I honestly can’t wait until the ceremony is over and I can finally call Mr. Powder Puff my husband!
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