Expat Wars

Expat Wars

January 12th, 2009 @ 3:34 pm by Mrs. D'orsay
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So I know Mr. D’orsay probably doesn’t want this splashed around the internet, but… he went to see Bride Wars with me this weekend!

Expat Wars : wedding baltimore Bride Wars

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I can’t really begin to explain how grateful I am for him. If we were in America I would have gathered my bridal crew, recently engaged friends, and those who favor chick flicks, and the whole posse would have gone en masse. MOH MB and I would laugh and say how we could never end up like those two and talk about the dresses (I’m sure we both would pick Anne Hathaway’s). However, I tend to miss out on those experiences here in the UK because I don’t actually have any friends….

I know, I know I need to get out more. I live in a tiny village without a car though, and my dream of public transport in England isn’t exactly how I pictured it. The movie gave me a swift realization, which was that sometimes you really do need your girlfriends. As much as I miss my close friends in the US, I know I can’t magically transport them all here to cheer me up. So my promise to you, and to myself, is to get out of the house more and take up both old and new hobbies (and hopefully make new friends!). I’m starting modern dance classes next week and maybe even taking up a new hobby like learning French.

Since coming here I really haven’t done as much wedding planning as I thought I would. I’ve gotten into a bit of a funk when it comes to wedding planning and actually owning and participating in life in a new country. However, I’m going to get back on the horse and go for it. That caterer contract that needs nailing down? I’m on it.

Have you gotten in a wedding/life funk since you started planning? How did you climb out of it?

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12 Responses to “Expat Wars”

Bee

Miss Taffy (message) 3,104 posts, Sugar bee

I am in a current funk! My job hunt has always been my first priority, but it seems to take more and more time lately! I think it’s great that you are planning on branching out. You are going to meet some wonderful people!

1/12/09 @ 4:19 pm (reply)

Guest

Cécy

I moved from France to the US to be with my now husband. Same situation as you: no friends (well it’s better now).
I think it’s especially hard when you move somewhere to be with your other half. It’s harder because you enjoy spending time just with him and there isn’t as much of a need to socialize all the time and do many activities as when you are single.
You slowly have to outgrow the “attached by the hip” moments to spend time with others.
He always tells me: but you have friends, my friends are your friends…
Yes your friends darling, it’s not the same.

So well, I don’t have a solution (seems you have ideas anyway) but I just wanted to say that I understand how it is. You can’t replace years of friendship when you move, especially to a different country, it takes time, but that’s also what being an expat is about.

1/12/09 @ 4:46 pm (reply)

Guest

eileen

I had to take a sudden leave of absence from work due to heart failure (a real fluke!), and I am in a real wedding planning funk. I’m trying to get out of it–um wedding in 5 months!! Something that has helped is to accomplish 2 wedding-related tasks daily–and delegate! (I am really bad at this.) I wish you the best in meeting new people–your class/hobbies should help.

1/12/09 @ 4:47 pm (reply)

Guest

Eliza

I spent the first 7 months of my engagement in a non-planning funk. I booked a venue right away, and then was just too busy with work to even think about all the other things on my wedding to-do list.

But now, with 4 months to go, I’ve got the fire again and planning is humming along nicely. I think just allowing yourself to take it at your own pace (despite the fact that every single person you see will ask you how the planning is going!) and recognizing that the funk will pass are important….

1/12/09 @ 5:25 pm (reply)

Guest

missscone

I’m from the UK and I’m happy to be reading a bee who’s getting married over here!

1/12/09 @ 5:27 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Green Tea (message) 764 posts, Busy bee

ha! mine is long over and i think i STILL have a couple toes in da funk!

1/12/09 @ 7:51 pm (reply)

Guest

Eastwestbride

Hi Miss D’Orsay,
Let me say, I know exactly how you feel. I’m from the UK but live in Singapore at the moment. Planning a wedding in Edinburgh from Singapore is the last thing I ever thought I’d have to do, but Mr proposed in August 2008, and we didn’t want a long engagement, so I’m just having to get on with it. It’s so hard. All my bridesmaids and MOH are in the UK. I feel like I’m really missing out on going shopping for dresses with them, going to see Bride Wars together, chatting loudly and enthusuastically about all things wedding over drinks. And don’t even get me started on how hard it is to choose damn wedding colours and bridesmaids dresses from 6,000 miles away. I’m so confused! I don’t have many female friends in Singapore (not like my old old friends in the UK), in fact hen-do Singapore branch is going to comprise a crowd of me and one other girl! And Mr will DEFINITELY not come to see Bride Wars with me here….oh woe is me!
However, I’m still super excited about my wedding. I’ll have about 2 weeks with my maids in the UK between now and the big day (July) which will be packed with planning (and maybe Bride Wars on DVD….). I love talking to them all on the phone and they are all really helpful in getting things done for me back home. And I’m sure the wedding fug I’m stuck in will gradually slip away as the big day approaches. After all, it’s really all about the marriage, more than the wedding!

Hope this lifts your spirits! Your big day will be fabulous. E.

1/12/09 @ 10:22 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Penguin (message) 3,499 posts, Sugar bee

Aww! I am not nearly as far away from my friends as you are, but I do miss the good old college days when we were all in one place. Just going out to dinner, hanging out, and seeing girly movies was something I truly miss. I am lucky to be close to some great friends, but I always wish they were closer… like down the street (or down the hall, for that matter!)

1/13/09 @ 2:33 am (reply)

Guest

Miss D’Orsay, where are you living? I’m a Birmingham based (English) bride and I bet there are loads of English brides who lurk on this site…I’d be happy to meet up and bore you with my wedding planning if you’re anywhere near me?

1/13/09 @ 7:13 am (reply)

10.

Guest

Courtney

Ah I know what it is like! Although my best girls are not in different countries, we are all in different states. I would have loved to go to see the movie with them. I hate not having girls nights! I don’t have much friends around where I live right now….so dragged my fiance to see Bride Wars too! He was the ONLY GUY in the theater, but still enjoyed the movie! HA the guy loves Anne hataway and generally finds chick flicks funny!

1/13/09 @ 7:26 am (reply)

11.

Bee

Mrs. Avocado (message) 1,543 posts, Bumble bee

Look look, Jo wants to meet up with you! Meetup Meetup! Have tea and crumpets and giggle about the Princes for us (I giggled about the Princes when I was there, but that was like 5 years ago so maybe it is out of style by now)

1/13/09 @ 10:04 am (reply)

12.

Member

Miss Texas (message) 242 posts, Helper bee

in a total wedding funk! after i got all the major things done for the wedding, i all of a sudden got BORED! and my BMs are all over the world right now, so i’m pretty much on my own till they get back in about a month or so.

1/13/09 @ 12:03 pm (reply)