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An interesting article popped up today posing the question, “Do Romantic Comedies Spoil Our Love Lives?”
As a helpless lover of all things chick-flick/lit, this article intrigued me. I was hoping for a little “more” from the article, but even without reading it, you get the idea.
Even more helpless when said movie/book is British…
Do people have unrealistic expectations of love and relationships after watching this particular genre of movies?
I, for one, feel like I can differentiate between real life and the movies… but I have to admit that I feel temporarily wistful after watching them. But I know that isn’t reality (right?). And frankly, sometimes I feel like parts of my life and love are romantic-comedy material!
I wouldn’t go so far as to say that they are “ruining” our love lives, but the concept is interesting.
What do you think?
I’m not really a big fan of “chick movies” but I have to admit that I have a special soft place in my heart too for the British ones like Bridget Jones, Love Actually (natch) and maybe even Notting Hill.
I think its possible for you to maybe skew your perspective if you have an unhealthy diet of these types of movies that maybe it would start to effect the way you saw things.
When I was an avid reader of Cosmopolitan I noticed that it gave me a certain attitude and perspective about men and relationships that I wasn’t really that happy with. So I stopped reading it.
Oh absolutely….books too. I joined a group on facebook titled “Because I read Twilight I now have unrealistic expectations of men”.
I love me some bridget jones! Yeah love life can get crazy at times and feel soap opera-ish, but chick flicks are purely entertainment and should not be used for advice for real life love and relationships!
lol…I told my husband that he’s been replaced by Edward Cullen…til the next hero comes along.
Small doses, and a strong commitment to “actual reality” help, I think.
I’m not a huge chick-flick fan, because I try not to stereotype people or relationships in anyway… but being really honest, they are sometimes a great guilty pleasure. I love Meet Joe Black and Mr. Doctor went with me to see SATC. So, I’m not immune, I just try to be mindful about it.
And I’m totally laughing about Farley and the Facebook group!
It is the same argument that women use about pornography - it gives men unrealistic expectations of women. I think that both are probably true on some level, the trick is to make sure that both you and your partner are capable of delineating, and that you never say to him, “why can’t you be more like Mark Darcy?”
I second what Laura B said about Cosmo - I stopped reading it because it was giving me a really warped perspective on what men should be like, etc.
@ LauraB…..I hear you. It got to the point that my bf told me to stop reading Cosmo because it gave such crap advice. But it’s my one true love on airplanes!
probably, but they are still fun to watch! they are a bit much though and my husband doesn’t like watching them so I’ve started opting not to watch them as well.
as a realist (aka party pooper with no imagination), i used to think those movies were so far fetched. but i gotta say that life now with da hubs is a lot like living in a romantic comedy myself! i’m either super lucky, or the lack of imagination make me easy to impress, or both.
Have you read jemima J? (Jane Green) or any of her other novels? If you like Bridget Jones, you will like her books 
I really am with Mrs. Green tea on this one. I must be really lucky too. I mean not all guys are jerks. It’s not fairy tale all the time but he’s pretty sweet!
I have always held the personal believe that Romantic Comedies are porn for women.
They set up unrealistic expectations.
Which isn’t to say that romance isn’t important…but there is more to a relationship and life than romance.
Sometimes I wonder if movies give men a skewed idea of relationships! There have been so many movies I’ve seen where the male lead is average at best (not very nice, not very interesting, crummy job, etc.) and yet somehow at the end the “hero” always ends up with a great girl who should be out of his league. (”Wedding Crashers” and “Sideways” are the two that come to mind right now. See also every “Seinfeld” plot that involves George dating a gorgeous, successful woman.) So maybe some romantic comedies do give women unrealistic expectations of relationships, but it goes both ways!
@Farley778: That might be one of the funniest things I’ve heard in a long time. & I may have to join it.
@amy77jc: Yep! LOVE her!
@Mrs. Corn: Agreed, agreed, agreed!
I have always thought that movies and books give us unrealistic expectations. They always make things looks so easy and simple. “Love cures all ills” For some people they might not have any healthy role models so these stories can really have an impact on what they think true love should be about.
On the plane to our honeymoon destination my husband and I saw PS I Love you and we both love it because of the similarities to real life couples (us). I think that a dose of romantic flicks is just fine.
Mrs. Pinot Noir, I agree, and I think sometimes it goes the other way too — it makes the “typical” relationship look like it’s full of drama and fighting and tears and break-ups and misery, and some people think this is much more normal than it really is.
no man will ever live up to the expectations Cary Grant and Hugh Grant have set for any woman… you just have to accept it and move on. i know i did : )
I think that they can give people with limited real life experience a skewed idea of how things are, either a teen just getting into the dating years or a woman who just hasn’t dated much. I had a room mate who had never dated anyone and part of the reason was that she had ridiculously high expectations for the kind of man she wanted, and part of that had to do with reading and watching romantic books and movies, especially things like Jane Austen etc. She didn’t have the real life experience to balance out the romance. She eventually got a dose of reality and is now happily married, but I think that the fiction did stunt her ability to see reality romance for what it is.
If you want more depth on this subject, pick up Chuck Klosterman’s Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs. He has a whole chapter about how tv and movies have warped us. It’s hysterical.
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Mrs. Quiche, Chicago/Montego Bay Age and Occupation: 28, Interior Designer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 42, Telecom Guru Engagement Date: July 2, 2008 Wedding Date: May, 2009 Venue: Coyaba Resort, Montego Bay About Me: I love Chicago and can’t imagine living anywhere else (Well, except Paris. Or anywhere in France, for that matter!). I’m a full-time worker, part-time student, soon-to-be-step-mom, indie music lovin’, architecture and design fanatic, macaroni and cheese addict, vegetarian, Francophile, Ohio State football obsessed, wedding planning girl. Mr. Quiche and I are “Partners-in-Crime” and cannot wait to celebrate our marriage surrounded by our family and closest friends. I plan on DIYing my little heart out (or as much as a suitcase to Jamaica will hold).
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