Wedding Blog

Once upon a time, there was a girl who grew up in the Valley.* All the coolest kids in her class had rad bar and bat mitzvahs, and she was like, totally jealous. She too wanted to have a huge party, with an awesome theme like “Dance!” or “Hollywood”, and to invite all the cute boys in her class to do the Electric Slide and drink Shirley Temples with her in a fancy ballroom. And she’d wear a super chic dress that was off-the-shoulder and made of taffeta and velvet. Oh, and there was going to be this huge posterboard with her picture on it, on which everyone who was anyone was going to write their deepest, most sincere thoughts, like “Stay kool!” or “Friends 4-eva”. It was going to be soooooo awesome!

That girl, of course, was me. I ended up getting the taffeta and velvet dress, which I wore to almost every one of the twenty or so bar and bat mitzvahs I attended. But I never got the rad bat mitzvah of my dreams…

until last weekend, when my bridal party threw me a Bat-chelorette Shower-Mitzvah, complete with a giant posterboard for the guests to write their deepest, most sincere thoughts! I didn’t have to read a Torah portion, but I did have to pass a test about Judaism delivered by Sister of Honor L, Groomswoman I, and our friend A. Although I’d been studying hard in my conversion class, I still managed to miss an embarrassingly easy question about what goes on a seder plate. D’oh.

I got enough right on the quiz to get some fab prizes, like these sexy underpants, which will help Mr. HC identify my best and largest asset in yiddish.

Since the shower portion of the event was craft-themed, my friends presented me with an array of crafty goodies, including stamps, decorative papers, and fancy stationery. But I also received some bat-mitzvah-appropriate items, including this set of Hebrew letters cookie cutters from Friends-of-honor (FOH) A, L, and G, which will make studying Hebrew so much more delectable.

The funniest gift of the evening was from FOH B, who included with her gift a card that said: “On the day you become a Jewish woman, you join an illustrious line of matriarchs who from time immemorial have practiced the glorious and much-honored tradition of regifting.” LOL. And in that tradition, she also presented me with the veil and boa I gave her at her bachelorette party a year and a half ago!

Above is a photo of FOH B and me at her bachelorette party. I inherited the horns below.

Pretty hot, huh? Once the devil veil and feather boa were on, all bets were off. And, as you’ll see in my next post, shenanigans ensued…

Want to see incriminating pictures of those shenanigans? Then share your ideas about fun shower games!

* That’s the San Fernando Valley, for you non-Californians.