Wedding Blog
Watching the trailer for Bride Wars the other day got me thinking. I know, I know, Bride Wars and thinking don’t really go hand in hand, but hear me out.
At the beginning of the trailer, Anne Hathaway’s character (as a child), dreams aloud that her wedding will be the happiest day of her life. Now, I love me some mindless chick flicks, but this comment bothered me.
Think about it.
If you’re wedding is the happiest day of your life, then that’s a little depressing, don’t you think? That means, six months from now, Mr. Powder Puff and I will have nothing to look forward to. Not the birth of our children, or grandchildren. And certainly not all those wonderful little accomplishments and joys that can be found in everyday life. Nope. After the wedding is over, it’s all downhill from there.
To be honest, imagining your wedding as the happiest, most perfect day of your life is a very immature assumption. That’s something I hoped for when I was fifteen, and didn’t care who I was marrying just as long as I got to throw a HUGE party. Now I have a wonderful man who makes me so happy, and it’s the thought of spending the rest of my life with him that puts a smile on my face, not our wedding.
That doesn’t mean I’m not going to be completely, blissed out happy on our wedding day. There’s nothing wrong with that! I’m just hoping that there will be more days like that to come. There has to be life post-wedding!
What happy moments are you looking forward to after your wedding is over?
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Share this post: I’ve Maxed Out My Happiness Quota
After our February 28th wedding, we are looking forward to the birth of our little girl sometime around May 19th! Oh yeah, and a week before that I am GRADUATING from the University of Arizona….unless she comes really early!
I couldn’t agree more. When I hear someone refer to our wedding as the happiest day of our life, I am quick to correct them. It will be ONE of the happiest days of our life together. But not THE happiest day.
I’m looking forward to the honeymoon, buying our first house, a trip to Europe next year, and the birth of our child(ren). The wedding is just the beginning.
haha, Mr. D and I were talking about that too! My thinking was that without our wedding day (and obviously our marriage) things like the birth of our children/grandchildren wouldn’t be able to happen. Aside from those things, and I know its far off… I look forward to retiring with Mr. D and traveling!
I’d like to say that before I got married, that my wedding day would have been the “best day of my life up to that point”. I think that’s a fair expectation? There are arguably just as important milestones in your life leading up to your wedding… I guess off the top of my head I can only think of College Graduation, but I never had a doubt that I’d graduate from college (it’s just going through the motions really), so I’d definitely not be ashamed to say that up until my wedding, it was the best day of my life thus far, both for the day, and for what it symbolized.
Many milestones will probably equal/cap our wedding day, having children for one, grandchildren for another. Not sure if I can think of anything more momentous than that. Job promotions, moving into houses, everything else like that seems to kind of pale, to me. I think any “bigger” than the wedding event will be directly family related, and the family would have never started without the wedding, right?
I have to admit, wedding is top what… 3? Biggest moments of my life? I’m not ashamed of that. I consider the symbolism of the day, not just the ACTUAL party part, to be what makes my wedding day the most momentous day of my life thus far, only to be topped by having children, and really, I can’t think of anything else other than that that can come close.
SUCH a great post– our wedding day was completely joyful, but was also ridden with some stress and fatigue. It was a beautiful, unforgettable day, but I forsee lots more happiness in our future, like children and buying a house. To be honest, I’m supremely happy just sitting on the couch, watching TV with Mr. J 
I’m definitely looking at my wedding day as a big milestone…. it may be ONE of the happiest day… but I can’t wait for kids and for everything else =)
Well it is the child who made the comment.
@Mrs. Penguin: I agree, Pengiun. There’s nothing wrong with it being ONE of the happiest days of your life. I know it will be one of mine! There are other happy moments to come, though.
I never thought much, if at all, about my wedding as a girl. Getting married was not a big life goal, but something that I figured would happen at some point. I had no interest in wedding magazines or the industry at all, even while dating my now husband. That said, I somehow got really into planning my wedding and it was an amazing wonderful day. Not because it was a fun party (which it was) but because we were surrounded by all our loved ones, many of whom live far away, as we said our vows (the traditional ones!) to each other. I never knew the ceremony would be as emotional and wonderful as it was. The joy and celebration, and sharing it with friends and family was just an unforgettable, unique, awesome experience. Certainly life doesn’t go downhill from here, but I expect our wedding day to always be one of the best days of our lives.
I think the moment I am looking forward to just as much, if not more, than my wedding is that first weekend with my husband in our new home, just embracing all that marriage has to offer. I am excited for the little things, too - like decorating and painting our house, inviting friends over for a dinner party or football game, spending our first holiday together as a married couple, and our 1st anniversary.
I agree that if you put too much pressure on yourself to have “the happiest day of your life” at your wedding, you might be disappointed. While it will be a special, once-in-a-lifetime occasion, marriage will come with its own special milestones, too.
or when candace bergen says “you were dead before this day” … lol.
I’m looking forward to just being able to say “Husband” and to all the wonderful memories we’re gonna make AFTER the wedding!
I agree with Miss Penguin. I think it will be the best day of my life up to that point. I’m good at managing stress and fatigue and setting boundaries for myself, so I don’t think think any of those could reduce it in any way. While I don’t expect the day to be 100% easy, and I have very few specific detailed expectations about how my day has to be, my one fairly certain expectation is that it will be one of the most sustained experiences of love I’ve ever had:-) Sounds like a top three day to me too!
I totally agree…my wedding was ONE of the happiest days of my life. I refuse to be limited!
Your story reminded me of when I was miserable in high school, and this toxic friend of mine declared during our senior year, “You should be happy, these are the best days of our life!”
To this day one of the things that I am most proud of is that I laughed in her face for implying that it was all downhill after high school….
When we finally buy our first house “together”. We are living in a condo that he has owned for about three years. We not only need the room, but it will be our house to raise our son and his daughter.
I do think it will be in my top 5 happiest days of my life, but hopefully my 50th anniversary will be even better. With the divorce rates out there, Its easy to get married, but it is a real accomplishment to follow through on your vows and stay real happy over a lifetime.
I hope my 50th anniversary will be the happiest day of my life because I’m hoping I will be able to look back on me and my now fiances life and be happy with all the choices we’ve made together. I also hope we have kids and lots of grandkids at that point and that would make me super happy!
The greatest day of my life up to this point was the birth of my child in 1996.
The wedding in June will be fun and exciting and probably the next greatest day up to that point.
Then we will have another child and that day will be great!
I look at the years and there are days when I say - this was fabulous and how could I feel any happier, excited, loved, etc.
It is sad to think that a wedding is the happiest day in all your life because there are so many other things that are going to come after that will make your wedding look like a drop in a bucket of happiness!
This was such a great post!
I think it’s a good thing to remember that the wedding day is just that - a day - a day in a life that will be full of everything from wonderful to less then fun!
Thanks for taking a moment to remind us all of that!
I felt the exact same way. Don’t get me wrong, our wedding day was fun and sweet; definitely a good day. But I don’t think it can top our first date (which was AWESOME) - and I know that there will be so many more happy, happy days in our future - why else would I have married DH?
@Shelbystar: That’s so exciting! So many positive changes in such a short period of time!
I’m going to go with “Happiest Day Up Until This Point”.
@kenziegirl: Aw thank you Kenzie. Yes, I never seem to do things the easy way and three major life events in one year (hopefully) will fill my quota.
I think a wedding is a “Happy Milestone” in someone’s life but there will be other milestones too. People have a tendency to need to label things as “the best” or “happiest” “something of my life” but there is always room to grow and experience and maybe relive things that didn’t turn out the way you want them to. I know what the happiest day of my life is up to this point (the 24 hours between March 30th-April 1st when the U of A Men’s Basketball Team winning the 1997 NCAA Championship and the celebrating that followed) but my wedding day will obviously generate a different kind of happiness. =)
Great post Miss Power Puff!
I was never one that thought it was going to be “the happiest day”, but turns out that it definitely was. Up until now… best day of my life
I agree with you completely! I thought I was the only one who thought that was a little depressing, that the best day of your life could potentially happen so early in life. What more is there to look forward to then?
I think you’re reading waaay too much into the movie. No reason to get indignant about a chick flick.
@phruphru:
Movies like “Bride Wars” perpetuate a stereotype about the “perfect dream wedding day.” Sure, it can be interpreted as a frou frou girl movie that was just made for mindless entertainment, but on a deeper level it plays into some deep-seeded psychological gender roles that fuel the frilly pink dreams of little girls across America. It doesn’t hurt to get a reality check and realize the best is yet to come AFTER the wedding.
No, there are so many more important milestones in our relationship and my life than the wedding. It will be a really happy wonderful day, but the day we finally live together will be far more meaningful to me, and it may be the day we got engaged that makes me even happier.
I agree completely! Thinking that way can only set you up for a huge disappointment. I like to think of it as a day that will be added into a collective group of happy times.
I have to admit, I haven’t really ever thought of our wedding day as the happiest day of my life, that doesn’t mean I am not TOTALLY looking forward to it. I just know me, and my whole goals is to not be stressed out on the details. I guess I just look at it as one day really important day in a string of great days by just being with the Mr.
My impression is the phrase means fully “The best day of your life, so far” but I still find it depressing, yeah.
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Mrs. Powder Puff, Chicago
Age and Occupation: 25, Preschool Teacher
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Career Services
Engagement Date: May, 2008
Wedding Date: July, 2009
Blogging Since: November 12, 2008
Venue: Outdoor ceremony, banquet hall reception
About Me: I am your typical Midwestern girl attempting to plan a sane, budget-friendly, fun wedding to the man of my dreams. I love shoes, laughing at “Platinum Weddings”, crafts, inspiration boards, candy, and basically anything I can DIY. While weddings can certainly be all-consuming, I honestly can’t wait until the ceremony is over and I can finally call Mr. Powder Puff my husband!
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