Wedding Blog

I mentioned this briefly before, but my dad is currently going through cancer at the moment. He still has months to go of weekly chemo treatments, so he will not be in his best shape when he walks me down the aisle. When we first found out he was sick, I wasn’t engaged at the time and it tore me apart that there was a small possibility he would not make it to give me away on my wedding day. He was diagnosed with stage four neck cancer, so his future seemed dark at the time. Let me just tell you, I would not wish cancer on anyone; it was a really tough time. But somehow, he has pulled through and doctors are very optimistic that he will beat it. Unfortunately, he is not without battle wounds - he has lost most of his voice and his sense of taste, and will probably never produce saliva again.

For weeks he has been asking if I have chosen the song he and I will dance to on my wedding day, and when we would start taking dance lessons. I always have to change the subject and run up to my room so he doesn’t see me tear up. Just thinking about the moment turns me into a sobby sap (although, it really doesn’t take much to turn me into a sobby sap). To be honest, my dance with my father will mean more to me than my first dance with Mr. Martini. I will have years and years to dance with my husband, but it will probably be the first and last time I dance with my dad. So why am I avoiding the issue? I just don’t want to break down on him when when we are practicing the dance to our song! It’s not because we’re not close. We’re actually very close. But even still, it is difficult to show our emotions to each other… I guess that just comes with being the daughter of an old school Korean dad.

I eventually realized that I couldn’t avoid it for long. Deciding on a song has been on the back of my mind for some time, but I didn’t know where to start. I wanted to find something with meaningful lyrics, and I wanted it to be the perfect song. It wasn’t until I read Mrs. Pinot Noir’s entry and heard “I Loved Her First” by Heartland for the first time that I knew this was THE song. I immediately started tearing at my desk in the middle of a work day and had to stop listening in order to contain myself! I’m sure that it is a popular father-daughter dance song, but I had never heard of it or the group that sings it.

That night I told my dad I found the song we will be dancing to. I downloaded it for him, and he told me he loved it! It was an emotional moment for us because we both realized then that wow… I’m really getting married, and wow… he’s really going to walk me down that aisle, and wow…. we’re really going to dance together… and in just two months! Not long after, I finally completed what I have been putting off for so long. We are scheduled to start dancing lessons about a month before the wedding. Thanks Mr. PN, for helping me find the perfect song for my daddy!