Weddingbee Blog

My FI and I have had a very short engagement - only 6 months, and our wedding is 2 months away. We’re both in the middle of our final year masters courses, and are feeling the pressure of the wedding! We’re stressed all the time and are really not enjoying the engagement process, which is such a shame because I feel it should be a really happy time. We’ve decided to postpone the wedding for 6 months, until after our courses have finished, to get our relationship back. Already, the benefits are showing!

However we still have to tell our guests. Obviously the invites have already gone out, and some people are even flying in from other countries (we’re in the UK). How should we announce that we are postponing our wedding because we’re too stressed with the wedding plans, and want to enjoy our engagement more? We feel this is a really valid reason and will be really valuable to our marriage (not starting out on the wrong foot, etc.), but how do we tell people succinctly, while acknowledging their inconvenience?

Thanks!

newbeefroobee

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Dear newbeefroobee,

Honestly, I think you might have some unrealistic expectations about how fun being engaged is supposed to be. Wedding planning is stressful, and the last few months are the worst. Most people have longer engagements and so they see the fun “enjoy it” time at the beginning and then the stressfulness at the end when things actually need to get done. I had a short engagement too (7 months) and also found my engagement to be more stressful than not. Let me tell you though, being married is where it’s at! My husband and I experienced a huge boost to our relationship once the wedding was over… and why wouldn’t we, when a huge stressor had suddenly disappeared?

Postponing your wedding is not going to eliminate the stress, it will only postpone it. There will always be work, or school, or life that gets in the way. As it comes down to the wire, pretty much everyone feels like we eat and breathe our weddings, and yes, it can cause stress in our relationships.

How far canceled/postponed are your plans? I agree with the previous posters that you should consider scaling down your plans or hiring a coordinator before you postpone your wedding. Trans-Atlantic plane tickets are expensive and usually nonrefundable. By postponing you risk incurring the ire of many guests and they may not be able to come at all now depending on ticket prices. So if postponing is really the decision you have to make, be prepared for some unhappy responses. Ultimately though, you need to make the best decision for you regardless of others’ opinions, including ours. Just be prepared, and good luck!

chelseamorning

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