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While I’ve actually enjoyed planning a destination wedding, there are a few things that have me feeling guilty because of the fact that we’re having a destination wedding.
Unfortunately, the majority of Mr. Sushi’s family and friends will not be able to make it to our wedding. Besides the undeniable cost, some of his family members have been dealing with health issues or have military obligations, which will prevent them from being able to attend. There are a few happy reasons why some can’t attend; his brother and his best friend are both planning weddings of their own, both to take place this summer. Out of the 19 guests who will be in attendance at our wedding, only one of them is a guest of Mr. Sushi’s. His mom. Mr. Sushi is totally fine with this and really couldn’t care less how many of his family and friends are able or not able to make it. But I can’t help but feel a lil’ guilty about it.
Even worse, we aren’t able to bring his 4-year-old son to Hawaii with us. This is what I feel the worst about. Again, Mr. Sushi is cool, calm, and collected about the situation. I just feel bad that my bestest’s lil’ girl is going to be our flower girl and it would’ve been sooooo adorable to have Lil’ B be in the wedding too, but alas, he won’t be able to attend. I feel horrible that Lil’ B won’t be able to participate in his dad’s wedding day.
I can’t be the only one out there with wedding guilt. What are your wedding day guilts?
does the wedding have to be a destination wedding? Is is possible to move it? Personally, I can’t imagine getting married without my family there, especially my own child. I just hope that after all is said and done, you guys won’t regret it.
Yes, you may feel guilt now, but there is still time to change it Miss Sushi!!
I can feel your pain. Ever since 4th grade my bf and I always said we’d be each other’s MOH. She got married 8 years ago and she held true to her word. I even beat out her 3 sisters! Now I’m planning a wedding in Oahu and she doesn’t even know if she will be able to afford the trip. I have had major guilt because I so want her to be involved. If only I could afford to fly her there!
honestly, that sucks! i can’t imagine his son not being present, you are joining together as a new family. is there any way he’ll be able to come??
I totally am having the same thought…..is there anyway he can come? He will be old enough to actually remember the weddind day and a wonderful way to show him that you are all one family now.
That’s a huge bummer that he can’t come! Hopefully you and Mr. Sushi can figure out a way to make him feel like he was a part of it, even if he can’t attend. Are you planning any sort of party back home for Mr. Sushi’s family when you return? I think it would be fun to have a sort of “we’re married” party with friends who weren’t able to make it!
If Mr. Sushi’s son can’t make it, maybe you can find another way to help include him. Perhaps you can take him with you when you go to get your marriage license in the States, and then go out to lunch or dinner and make it really special?
Good luck Ms. Sushi! 
part two of my response! ahah
miss sushi! i really hope that you reconsider having your wedding out there because a child remembers not being able to attend a parent’s wedding! I hope you make every effort to include him and his family!!
We recently had an engagment party and it was about 90% my friends and family. My fiance said it didn’t bother him, but I felt guilty.
I know how you feel. It wasn’t that we didn’t invite more of his friends and family, they just couldn’t make it for various reasons, but it still leaves you feeling guilty. Although, if he is truly fine with it, hopeully that will make you feel better and get you past the guilt.
I hear ya, Miss Sushi! My sister and her husband’s DW in Hawaii was a big challenge for many people to attend. I almost didn’t go, and it utterly broke both my sister and my heart at the idea that I might not be there on her wedding day. Her husband’s father and his wife didn’t attend, and none of our extended family that was invited was able to go. I went, and I had wedding guest guilt (if that’s even possible!) the entire time because I accepted the gracious offer of my collective family to pay for my ticket–sans West Coast Groom.
This is a sticky issue that I think only other DW brides will be able to counsel you on, I think…..luckily you have a few to turn to here!
Our DW is actually at USMA, so not terribly far, but my FH’s family still will not be able to join us. I regret that we could not find a place where all of our family could join in our celebration. Then of course there are the friends who will be deployed . . . We cannot do the usual seating arrangement at the ceremony because he will have about four guests to my seventy or so. However, I cannot even imagine how distressed I would be if he had a child that could not attend.
My secondary source of guilt would definitely be the amount of money that we are each taking out of savings to pay for this shin-dig. I feel like we should be paying off student debt or something more “worthwhile” with the funds than throwing a party in our own honor. It helps though, to think that the vast majority of the money is being spent on making things nice for our guests.
how sad that his son can’t come 
I have 2 children of my own and I made sure to plan the wedding around when they would be with me. Is there any way to figure out a way to get him there?
Have you gotten a wedding present for the hubs yet? Maybe the best present would be to figure out how he can come!
Miss Sushi, I am not going to question or judge you as to why Lil B cannot attend, and I’m a little surprised that people are suggesting that, two months away from your DW, you should change your plans (of course if you want to do that that’s fine also). I’m sure that there are reasons for the current situation and you may not want to share those with us.
I like saramari’s idea.
I didn’t mean to imply that Miss Sushi was at fault for Lil B not being able to come, but she did say that that was what she feels the worst about, and if it is really bothering her, then I think she ought to be encouraged to figure out a way to be happier about it, whether it means including him another way as some have already suggested, or figuring out how to get him there.
I’m sure if Miss Sushi says Lil B wont’ be able to come, they’ve done everything they can to figure out a way for him to come and have moved forward doing what’s best for everyone. No need to make her feel worse–I’m sure she’s well aware how important it is for him to be there and that she has her own circumstances, that we don’t need to pry about, as to why.
Good luck Miss Sushi! I’m sure the three of you will celebrate in your own way and involve Lil B like you did in your Engagement pictures.
is there military flight the son could take to fly out on? that is so unfortunate that he can’t make it.
military families get free MAC flights.
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Mrs. Sushi, Hershey/Hawaii Age and Occupation: 27, Air Force Photographer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Laborer/Aspiring Hip Hop Producer Engagement Date: December 25, 2007 Wedding Date: March 2009 Blogging Since: October 9, 2006 Venue: Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception About Me: I’m a notorious people-watcher who loves all things paper, food, traveling, grubbin’ on food, gossip magazines, food, sock monkeys…did I mention food?! Mr. Sushi and I are both haolepinos (half Filipino, half Caucasian) and hope to be able to somehow incorporate our cultures at our destination wedding in Hawaii. All while planning from the sweetest place in earth, Hershey!
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