My Name Is…

I did it. I made a name decision, AND got an email account in my new name. Scary and super exciting! Then I told Mr. Cheese about it all”¦ in reverse order. *cue the confused man look*

A friend recently changed her email address due to a divorce-induced name change and was unable to get one with her more common maiden name. Uh oh. I’m going from less common to more common. Way more common. Off to Gmail I went to see what name combos were still available, and firstname+maidennameinitial+newlastname was still available. I hit the Submit button on that puppy and pumped my fist in triumph!

Oh. I think I just committed to changing my name. Hmmm. *the thoughtful cheese look comes out* Neat!

Here’s how I decided:

  1. I am obviously not too attached to my maiden name given that I changed it the first time I got married.
  2. The only reason I wouldn’t change it this time is because of the emotional mess I experienced when I got divorced – and I’m not getting divorced again.
  3. I don’t want to be defined for the next decades of my life by my first marriage, and if I don’t change my name as a result of the mess that came out of my first marriage, I will be.
  4. Setting issues from my first marriage aside, my kids will have his last name and I want to have the same last name as my kids.
  5. My first name is “ethnic” enough that I don’t feel like I’m losing the Hispanic quality to my name.
  6. I like symmetry, and my last initial will be the same as my first initial. Cheesy.

One of Dave Ramsey‘s (do you read/ listen to him?) tricks for helping people make financial decisions is to ask them what they would do if they were starting from scratch today. Not sure if you should sell a rental property to pay off your home mortgage? Well, would you mortgage your home to buy a rental property?

So I asked myself, if this were my first marriage, would I keep my maiden name, hyphenate, or change my name? After some quiet reflection, my excitement at being a family of Cheeses was greater than my concern and annoyance at having to change my name. It also helped that Mr. Cheese has stopped saying things like, “What’s the big deal?” and, “Of course you need to change your name!” and started saying things like, “I really can’t relate to the idea of changing my name, it seems so absurd and strange to me, so this needs to be your decision.” Smart Mr. Cheese.

I practiced writing my new name last night, and while I conjured up crazy images of what FirstName + LastName woman would look like (long dark curly hair with glasses, and too-dark lipstick), I felt better after a few tries. What? Don’t tell me you haven’t written your new name at least once. It’s okay! This isn’t like secretly writing “Kate + Michael = Forever” in your Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper binder. It’s a rite of passage, an important step in your engagement journey, a necessity”¦ this book says so.

Have you “saved” an email address in your new name yet? ”˜Fess up – have you practiced saying, writing, doodling your new name?

BLOGGER

Mrs. Cheese

Location:
Knoxville
Wedding Date:
May, 2009
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comments

  1. Member
    Josalyn 358 posts, Helper bee @ 4:58 pm

    I’m not changing my name but I did change my e-mail address to (lets pretend my name is JosalynDoe, and my fiance is Smith) JosalynDoeSmith@gmail.com. We have been engaged since 2006 and I made the e-mail change 2 years ago. I figure its the least I can do- plus its my professional e-mail, so it at least signals that I am married

  2. Member
    doublemint921 499 posts, Helper bee @ 5:05 pm

    I must confess I have thought doing this several times myself, now maybe I will! :)

  3. Member
    Mrs. Cookie 795 posts, Busy bee @ 5:21 pm

    Confession: A month and a half after Mr. Cookie and I started dating I signed the back of a receipt to show Mr. Cookie what my “married name” looked like… Uhm, yeah!

  4. Member
    HistoryBride 409 posts, Helper bee @ 7:33 pm

    I just changed my email a couple of months ago, about half a year before the wedding because I needed a more professional email address. I was able to follow the pattern of my FMIL and do old initials + new last name initial + birthday. The best part is that my old initials spell out my nickname, so no one knows that I’m being fancy.

  5. Member
    Mrs. Powder Puff 882 posts, Busy bee @ 7:46 pm

    Ooo, exciting! I haven’t set up my new email yet, but I will soon. Big step! :)

  6. Guest
    Shopaholica, Guest @ 7:52 pm

    I died laughing when I read the Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper reference. I think mine had psychadelic colored unicorns across the front…. ah, memories.

  7. Member
    edb 415 posts, Helper bee @ 8:45 pm

    I think that I will get an email address with my “new” last name, even though I don’t plan to change my name. I think it will come in handy.

  8. Member
    Mrs. Sea Breeze 972 posts, Busy bee @ 9:12 pm

    I totally snagged my new-name-gmail-account moments after he proposed. Ok maybe not thaaaat fast. But pretty fast. Heh.

  9. Member
    Mrs. Mouse 4297 posts, Honey bee @ 10:26 pm

    Nope, not changing my name. :)

  10. Member
    Mrs. Glitter 986 posts, Busy bee @ 10:46 pm

    I’m still on the fence about changing my name. I never thought I would care, but now I am strangely attached to my maiden name. As soon as I decide, I’m sure I will be checking out new email addresses!

  11. Member
    LatteLove 5567 posts, Bee Keeper @ 9:53 am

    i haven’t…but you just gave me an idea!

    There will be 18 people sharing my married name with me (check out http://www.howmanyofme.com)

    The future Mrs. LatteLove is about to get a [secret] new email address!

  12. Member
    littlekbigt 38 posts, Newbee @ 11:44 am

    I created my new gmail email a 10 short days after we were engaged. Although the Mr doesn’t have a common last name, someone had already taken the first initial and last name email address, so i threw in my middle initial and it worked out fine.

    The big thing I’m stressing over is changing my login and account names. I won’t be littlekbigt for much longer, that t is changing. And I usually just use my first initial and last name for my username, I’m going to have to start changing that habbit!

    According to the site LatteLove posted, there are 1 or fewer people in the U.S. with my name combination, but if you use my full name and spell it the popular way, there are 4.

  13. Guest
    kirsty, Guest @ 8:11 am

    i changed my name for just £10 using http://www.thelegaldeedpollservice.org.uk

  14. Guest
    US meets UK » Blog Archive » That’s not my name…, Guest @ 8:13 am

    [...] actually calls me Stacy and I don’t know what I want to be called after August 2009. After Miss Cheese’s name changing post I tried really hard to avoid thinking about our own situation. Since I haven’t made the [...]

  15. Guest
    That’s Not My Name… » Weddingbee » The Wedding Blog, Guest @ 5:26 pm

    [...] one actually calls me Stacy, but I don’t know what I want to be called after August 2009. After Miss Cheese’s name change post, I tried really hard to avoid thinking about our own situation. Since I haven’t made the decision [...]

  16. Guest
    Jessy, Guest @ 6:07 pm

    I thought about that name issue when I opened my gmail account… I used my first+middle name. Becuase, duh! That part wouldn’t change no matter if I kept my maiden or took my FH’s name! :) So no need for me to get a newbie :D

  17. Guest
    Amy, Guest @ 8:07 pm

    I reserved my new email prior to getting engaged. I am moving from a more common last name to a more unique one and I wanted to make sure I got it! It felt like a bigger step though when I bought a domain name for our wedding website that was “theLASTNAME.com”…. now that was serious business! ;)

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