Wedding Blog
I did it. I made a name decision, AND got an email account in my new name. Scary and super exciting! Then I told Mr. Cheese about it all… in reverse order. *cue the confused man look*
A friend recently changed her email address due to a divorce-induced name change and was unable to get one with her more common maiden name. Uh oh. I’m going from less common to more common. Way more common. Off to Gmail I went to see what name combos were still available, and firstname+maidennameinitial+newlastname was still available. I hit the Submit button on that puppy and pumped my fist in triumph!
Oh. I think I just committed to changing my name. Hmmm. *the thoughtful cheese look comes out* Neat!
Here’s how I decided:
One of Dave Ramsey’s (do you read/ listen to him?) tricks for helping people make financial decisions is to ask them what they would do if they were starting from scratch today. Not sure if you should sell a rental property to pay off your home mortgage? Well, would you mortgage your home to buy a rental property?
So I asked myself, if this were my first marriage, would I keep my maiden name, hyphenate, or change my name? After some quiet reflection, my excitement at being a family of Cheeses was greater than my concern and annoyance at having to change my name. It also helped that Mr. Cheese has stopped saying things like, “What’s the big deal?” and, “Of course you need to change your name!” and started saying things like, “I really can’t relate to the idea of changing my name, it seems so absurd and strange to me, so this needs to be your decision.” Smart Mr. Cheese.
I practiced writing my new name last night, and while I conjured up crazy images of what FirstName + LastName woman would look like (long dark curly hair with glasses, and too-dark lipstick), I felt better after a few tries. What? Don’t tell me you haven’t written your new name at least once. It’s okay! This isn’t like secretly writing “Kate + Michael = Forever” in your Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper binder. It’s a rite of passage, an important step in your engagement journey, a necessity… this book says so.
Have you “saved” an email address in your new name yet? ‘Fess up - have you practiced saying, writing, doodling your new name?
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I have a new e-mail with my married last name, but I haven’t actually changed my name yet…I’m still deciding on what I want the name to be exactly, but I reserved Lastname.Firstname at lovely gmail.
I’m in denial! I am getting married in 11 days and haven’t made the final decision. Part of me wants to keep my name until we have kids, but is that insulting to my hubby? Regardless, I plan to at least keep all of my current names somewhere/somehow. I’m really hoping to talk the hubs into adding my name as his 2nd middle, but we’ll see! I don’t think it’s a big deal to give ourselves a few mos. to work out the details, but I do think I’ll want to have the same name as my kids. What about Princess Consuela Bananahammock? lol
Confession time: I reserved firstnewlast @ gmail maybe, hmmm, 2 years after we started dating? That was over 5 years before we got married 
ooh, good call with the email address… i should do that. i, too, want to have the same last name as my kids (and my husband, to unite the whole family). it’s complicated for my professional life because i’ve already published under my maiden name… but i’ll probably just continue publishing under that (i can have a nom de plume!). i love what my mom (who changed her name when she got married) said to quiet the little feminist voice inside of me “it’s some man’s name anyway, whether it’s your father’s or your husbands.”
I am changing my name, changing the name attached to my email, but keeping my email address. It’s what my sister did, and after reviewing my @gmail options with my new name I figured was the better bet. And yes, I’ve totally practiced my new name. It felt so liberating doing it in front of Mr. Peep - rather than secretly scribbling it and scratching it out!
Ooh, I never thought to write my name with his last name. I’ve got to find a piece of paper and a pen and try… even though I’m probably not changing my name.
My initials will be symmetric too! I tease my Fi and tell him all of the “H” monograms stand for “Heather” and not his last name 
@Mrs. Tiramisu: LOL! Wow, that’s bold. Good for you!
I reserve myfirstandhisfirst@gmail.com, ’cause I’m not changing my maiden name. (I already HAVE the symmetric initials, you see!)
Congrats on your decision, Miss Cheese! I really appreciate your thoughtful and insightful posts.
Ha ha…Cannotwait…EXCELLENT Friends reference
Cheese—for me, your #4 reason is the #1 reason for me to have changed my name.
And I will admit, for about a month I felt like I had lost part of my identity…but many months since, I know my name does not make me who I am and to know that no matter what my children and their father and I will have the same name, is worth way more to me than the sentiment of my last name.
I did! Actually I checked gmail before I got engaged and was sad to find out that there were NO options for me. My new last name is SO common and my first name is fairly common and also from the same origins of the last name — so basically there are probably hundreds of “me” running around this world with MY new name! haha. I did find something on gmail that was acceptable but I was still pretty annoyed by it all since my maiden name is SO different that I’ve never had this kind of problem before. But I still love it and my new name will be symmetric TOO! crazy! And yes, I practice my signature :)
I’m pretty sure my married name e-mail will be ready when I am.
I am changing my name mostly because of your #4. I want to have the same last name as my kids.
Oh! I never thought of changing me email address. Now I want to go see what name I can get.
I had the realization last week when I was signing for a package at work, that I would need to figure out how I would sign my “new” name. I thought “I should mess around and try different ways and come up with my new signature.” I then felt kind of embaressed that writting and re-writting my signature seemed so “middle school”
So I am right there with you girl!!
I say that it is just one of the many new things to have fun with and enjoy.
I just realized I have never tried writing my future new name. I am too superstitious to get the new email address yet.
I’ve reserved my new gmail account, too! And I’ve also decided to name the business-that-isn’t-quite-yet-but-one-day-will-be based on my new name. My new initials will be ABC (hence my username!) and will allow me to keep my maiden name as my middle name. That was the route my mom (and FMIL) took, and I think it will be the best way for me to keep my old self and honor my family, while embracing my new life with the Mr. And I’ve already perfected my signature and what my “initial here” initials will be. I’m excited to change my name, if you can’t tell
I did my new name on gmail about 8 months before we got married DH says I was tempting fate…but it all worked out well! Now if I could only get my hand to remember to write First NEW instead of First Maiden…
I’ve pretty much decided I’ll change my name but it’s REALLY hard b/c I’m divorced, with kids and our name is their father’s, my ex-husband. So I don’t think about keeping this name for him but for them. It would be so much easier for their schools, etc! But my FI is so upset at the notion that I won’t use his name I’m caving. If it wasn’t for my kids I wouldn’t hesitate. I think I’ll use firstname.currentname.newname for their stuff and at work for a while until everyone figures it out. Sigh.
I am still struggling with the name change problem. I LOVE my maiden name, and don’t feel one way or the other about FH’s last name.
BTW, Lisa Frank? Trapper Keeper? hahah I forgot all about those!!!!!!!
I was so upset to find that my new firstname lastname combo was not available in gmail or twitter. There was still the combo with my middle initial, and I was worried about that possibly getting taken but didn’t feel right reserving it because I wasn’t engaged yet. So my boyfriend went behind my back and reserved it. He was going to surprise me but then I searched again a few months later and was like “OMG, I knew I should have reserved it!” so he had to tell me he had done it.
Heck yeah, reserving an email address (which I won’t start using until we’re married) was the first thing I did!!
OK I got brave and did it. I got firstnamemaideninitialnewlastname
My name is about to become waaaay more common, so you inspired me to hop to it and get a future email address. I had to include my future middle initial, but it worked! By the way, I hadn’t even noticed that my name is going to become symmetrical. Thanks for helping me add a little bit of excitement to my day!!
My fiance got me a new e-mail months ago and it freaked me out. I wasn’t ready to think about changing my name. It my first name and new last name. I am not cool with and getting ready to star using it next month.
Wow I never even thought of “reserving” an e-mail address. As far as changing names goes, I like his last name more than mine, so its not a hard decision for me.
Miss Cheese doesn’t it help so much more when they are flexible on it. When I posed the idea to my fiance of changing his name he told me that was nuts. =)
I’ve already got the symmetry, Funny, when I wrestle with the decision that is one of the things i’ll miss the most. I love my initials and monogram… I don’t think I am changing my name immediately. But even when I do I won’t change my e-mail. It’s one way I feel like I can keep my identity. My mom’s e-mail has always been her maiden name even though she went First Maiden Middle New Last and she goes by her maiden name professionally.
@ leaver: My mom said the same thing! It definitely made me laugh and think on it.
My brother-in-law gave me one of his saved email gmail addresses that he doesn’t use. what a sweetheart! I also practiced my hubby’s last name a bit before we did the change. But I will say — HAVING A NEW NAME IS BIZARRE! I’m starting to get used to it but it’s still weird.
I JUST did this a few days ago! Brand spanking new gmail account. AND I got my first pick. But then, FI’s last name is not a common one.
I’ve been practicing writing my name with his last name since I knew I wanted to marry him - way before there was any proposal. About a year ago he found a notebook page where I’d practiced my new signature a whole bunch! I was totally embarassed but he thought it was really cute.
Mrs. Avo just set up a married name gmail for me! since the UK is googlemail.com only….stupid lawsuits
I just did! You reminded me, so thank you FH will be so excited!
I was honestly just thinking of that a few days ago when I logged into my e-mail account. I haven’t done so yet, but I definitely will be soon
Yes, yes, yes for Dave Ramsey! I’m totally a Dave person and always glad to find others. (And I did change my name.)
I haven’t practiced doing a new signature or writing my new name at all! I’ m changing my name for all intents and purposes except for my published work. I have built relationships with that name! It also always bothered me to be at a party somewhere, or meeting someone in the workplace and have them say “oh, you wrote that article about blah di blah….” Now I can actually lead my double life in peace!
My first name is extremely unusual (unless you’re native Irish, in which case it’s only very unusual). My FH’s last name is fairly uncommon and Spanish in origin, so I had no trouble reserving my new Gmail address (then again, this was a year before we got engaged :-)).
I angsted over changing my name for months, but I concluded that your #4 would be a serious issue for me as well (and I have an aversion to hyphenated names). I just know going in that once I’m married, people are going to look at my name and wonder how to pronounce it and what the heck ethnicity I am. My maiden name is four letters and EVERYONE knows how to pronounce it…I shall miss it.
Luckily I already have a website of my own that I have been using for my e-mail because I would never be able to find a gmail or any other kind of address with my new name. It will be the same as a famous singer/actress who I will hopefully do better at marriage than. Just means I can’t get a new domain address to go with the new name. Funniest thing is that FH and I will have the same first and last initials.
Only thing I am agonizing over with changing my name is whether to keep my middle name or change it to my maiden name. I’ve always liked the one I was given, but I am an only child so it’s kind of sad to see the name go away in my family if I don’t keep it somehow. Of course, if I do change it to my maiden name FH and I will have EXACTLY the same initials and that would be strange indeed!
My current first and last name are pretty short - so while not the MOST common, I’ve had trouble with emails. Your post got me thinking so I just checked out gmail for combos of what my new name will be, and I snagged a First.Last email. Sweet!
#4 is pretty much what’s made me decide to change my name when the time comes - we’re going to be a family and I want us to have the same name across the board (and I don’t think he wants to change HIS name to do it hahaha).
Recently trends say several brides have been keeping their maiden names, but it seems that there are still lots of brides who will take their husbands names, mostly for the kids sake. So it might not be a bad idea to check googles emails out before they run out!
I’m still not sure what I’m going to do, but all of the options have been doodled lol. Even in our sassy wedding font!
Yep, I’ve already reserved my new first and last combo at gmail to transition to after the wedding! Glad to know I’m not the only one!
I reserved my email address pretty far in advance, but not before we were engaged (but only b/c it didn’t occur to me).
I had wanted firstinitial-maidennameinitial-marriedname@gmail (no dashes), b/c it kept a little of my maiden name w/out being too long, and it was cute. But my new last name is really short, and gmail requires at least six letters in the address. BOO!! Why do they even care?
I ended up doing marriedlast-first@gmail, b/c that’s the format DH uses. So it’s cute, although our names aren’t that dissimilar, so sometimes I confuse the two of us reading our gmail chats.
Oh, also — thise site is fun. It tells you how common your first name, last name, and name combo is. So you can see if you’re going to more or less popular.
It’s not exact, though. My MIL goes by her nickname and her full name shows up as 0. I’m sure it also doesn’t take into consideration people who change their names.
I’m not changing my name but I did change my e-mail address to (lets pretend my name is JosalynDoe, and my fiance is Smith) JosalynDoeSmith@gmail.com. We have been engaged since 2006 and I made the e-mail change 2 years ago. I figure its the least I can do- plus its my professional e-mail, so it at least signals that I am married
I must confess I have thought doing this several times myself, now maybe I will!
Confession: A month and a half after Mr. Cookie and I started dating I signed the back of a receipt to show Mr. Cookie what my “married name” looked like… Uhm, yeah!
I just changed my email a couple of months ago, about half a year before the wedding because I needed a more professional email address. I was able to follow the pattern of my FMIL and do old initials + new last name initial + birthday. The best part is that my old initials spell out my nickname, so no one knows that I’m being fancy.
Ooo, exciting! I haven’t set up my new email yet, but I will soon. Big step!
I died laughing when I read the Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper reference. I think mine had psychadelic colored unicorns across the front…. ah, memories.
I think that I will get an email address with my “new” last name, even though I don’t plan to change my name. I think it will come in handy.
I totally snagged my new-name-gmail-account moments after he proposed. Ok maybe not thaaaat fast. But pretty fast. Heh.
I’m still on the fence about changing my name. I never thought I would care, but now I am strangely attached to my maiden name. As soon as I decide, I’m sure I will be checking out new email addresses!
i haven’t…but you just gave me an idea!
There will be 18 people sharing my married name with me (check out http://www.howmanyofme.com)
The future Mrs. LatteLove is about to get a [secret] new email address!
I created my new gmail email a 10 short days after we were engaged. Although the Mr doesn’t have a common last name, someone had already taken the first initial and last name email address, so i threw in my middle initial and it worked out fine.
The big thing I’m stressing over is changing my login and account names. I won’t be littlekbigt for much longer, that t is changing. And I usually just use my first initial and last name for my username, I’m going to have to start changing that habbit!
According to the site LatteLove posted, there are 1 or fewer people in the U.S. with my name combination, but if you use my full name and spell it the popular way, there are 4.
[...] actually calls me Stacy and I don’t know what I want to be called after August 2009. After Miss Cheese’s name changing post I tried really hard to avoid thinking about our own situation. Since I haven’t made the [...]
[...] one actually calls me Stacy, but I don’t know what I want to be called after August 2009. After Miss Cheese’s name change post, I tried really hard to avoid thinking about our own situation. Since I haven’t made the decision [...]
I thought about that name issue when I opened my gmail account… I used my first+middle name. Becuase, duh! That part wouldn’t change no matter if I kept my maiden or took my FH’s name! So no need for me to get a newbie 
I reserved my new email prior to getting engaged. I am moving from a more common last name to a more unique one and I wanted to make sure I got it! It felt like a bigger step though when I bought a domain name for our wedding website that was “theLASTNAME.com”…. now that was serious business!
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Mrs. Cheese, Knoxville
Age and Occupation: 29, Engineering Manager
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, CAD Designer
Engagement Date: July 31, 2008
Wedding Date: May, 2009
Blogging Since: October 16, 2008
Venue: Our home and the two acres it sits on
About Me: I’m an emotional girl who loves sentimental things, parenthetical asides, and trying to do things herself. I can cook, sew, am a whiz at planning, terrible at delegating, and totally in love with my fiancé (who will be my second husband but first love of the rest of my life). For our home/ garden/ DIY wedding, we’ll be moonlighting as interior designers, home improvers, and gardeners with the help of our fabulous friends and neighbors. We can’t wait to be married, and are learning how fun getting married can be.
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