Wedding Blog

Since I’m not British, I don’t know if I’m really qualified to broach this subject, but it is a fun one! As you may have seen in movies like Four Weddings and a Funeral, ladies can really rock hats and fascinators at English weddings.

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The easiest way to encourage ladies to wear hats is to put in on the invite. Since we’ve kind of missed the boat on the invites, we’ll probably make a mention of it on our website. The other part holding us back? I’m not sure if my mother will be wearing a hat, and traditional etiquette is guided by the bride’s mother.

Here is an excerpt from UK photographer Dan Johnson:

Unless Betty Windsor and Phil are going to turn out for it, the etiquette at an English wedding is that ladies keep their hats on until the mother of the bride removes hers, which will normally be when the formality of the wedding breakfast is completed and gentlemen are free to remove their jackets—i.e. when the coffee comes out.

That’s the theory, which assumes that there actually is a MOB on the top table, that she knows the score, and that she’s not wearing an enormous creation which makes things difficult for the waiting staff (in which case she should take the thing off when she sits down).

In practice, most ladies nowadays keep theirs on until either the MOB or the senior lady on the top table takes hers off - unless of course everybody else takes theirs off as they go into the marquee or dining room.

Fascinators count as hats, and watch out in the ladies loo for the seasoned veteran of many a garden party and wedding. She’s the older lady who will remove her hat, take out the rollers that are in her hair under it, produce a hairbrush from her handbag and in due course return to the fray with immaculate hair, carrying her hat.

Finally, be prepared for guests contacting you or your mum for guidance in the run-up to the wedding when they realise that (a) they need to get a hat and (b) they’re not sure when it comes off …

FMIL Mrs. D isn’t a big fan of hats either, and most of the women on Mr. D’s side plan on wearing fascinators instead of hats. In my opinion, Hats > Fascinators for a wedding. Why? Because I can wear a fascinator any night I go out, but I only get to wear hats to Steeplechases and such. So I relish any opportunity to wear a large hat.

This fascinator found on Flickr is pretty neat:

But what about a big wide brimmed hat for a sunny afternoon wedding?

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I’m going to ask my cousins to help spread the word, but I don’t know how into the tradition people on my side will be. Since English weddings tend to happen earlier in the day, hats certainly make sense for shielding you from the mid-day sun. Our ceremony starts at 6:30 in the evening, which doesn’t make hats as functional as they would be for an afternoon wedding. I should probably note that Mr. D could care less about hats and doesn’t really understand my excitement. Do you guys have any suggestions for getting more hats on my guests’ heads?

Are you trying to incorporate traditions from your fiance’s culture into your wedding day?