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Mrs. Glitter, Los Angeles Age and Occupation: 27, Research Consultant/Writer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Accounting Engagement Date: May 6, 2007 Wedding Date: June, 2009 Venue: Millenium Biltmore Hotel About Me: I was born and raised in West Los Angeles, California. I spent eight years in the Northeast working and completing my education. Having split time between two sides of the country has given me a true appreciation for both coasts. It has also provided an overabundance of cross country drives, flights and long distance relationship fun/misery! I love my family, my doggy Emma, fabulous wine, Anthropologie, politics, reading, being outdoors, exploring new cities, and good movies! My fiance and I are complete opposites, but somehow we have managed to fall completely and hopelessly in love.
About Mrs. Glitter

Prescribing Meaning.

February 6th, 2009 @ 3:13 pm by Mrs. Glitter

Prescribing Meaning. :  wedding los angeles relationships rings Blingy

Lately, I have become acutely aware that sometimes when I am out in public, I look down at my engagement ring and it gives me an air of confidence. Not because I am necessarily thinking, “This was given to me by the man I love.” Let me clarify. The ring and the ring’s presence on my finger has been known to make me feel different, and sometimes better, about myself.

This is difficult for me to admit because it sounds so… well… shallow and materialistic. What kind of woman would feel better about herself because of a ring? Me, apparently.

But it’s not just me. Society seems filled with reasons to feel better about yourself because of your ring. Why else would women feel competitive when it comes to their bling? And, men aren’t off the hook either. When we first got engaged, Mr. G seemed to think that the bigger the rock was meant something, too. It said to people, “Back off, men, this lady is taken!” Or, “I must love my lady a whole lot to give her this much bling!” Yikes.

Ultimately, I realized, for me, it doesn’t really have as much to do with the size of the rock. It has to do with the meaning I prescribe to it. I think my e-ring is fabulous, but I don’t want it to define me. I still want to be able to go out in the world, sans ring, and feel the same way I normally would. I guess I am trying to differentiate between wanting to wear my ring and needing to wear my ring. I never want to feel, for whatever reason, like I “need” to wear my ring in mixed company. Never, never, never.

I am not saying that we, as women, shouldn’t feel happy and excited about our rings. I just don’t ever want to get to the point where I depend on having it on my finger; that I somehow wouldn’t be the same woman if I walked into a room without my ring on.

Does that make any sense? Do any of you ever have deep thoughts about your ring?

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42 Responses to “Prescribing Meaning.”

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1.
Member Icon
Member
ES123 (message)  1,020 posts, Bumble bee

I hear what you’re saying. At a certain point it felt silly saying “my boyfriend”, when both he and I knew it was so much more than that. I started feeling like boyfriend can apply to 15 year olds together for one week, and we have something more than that! The ring was just the symbol to the world that yes, we do have something more than that, something so great that it’s worth the money and time spent to pick out this ring, and we want to show the whole world! My fiancee’s wedding ring only cost $200, but I still can’t wait for him to wear it as a symbol of our relationship.

 
2.
Bee Icon
Bee
Mrs. Avocado (message)  1,543 posts, Bumble bee

I thought that was your ring at first and I was quite shocked. That is a HUGE ring.

But to comment on the actual post topic, as I work on being a hosewife, cleaning and cooking and crafting (haha, like I craft) I find myself wearing my rings less and less, and I’m okay with it. There aren’t many other women like me I know, but I was much the same way as you when I was engaged. My ring meant that I was special enough to be wanted and now that we have our marriage I guess I realized I don’t need that validation from the recognition of the world anymore, you know?

 
3.
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Guest
Jessica

OK…. yes, I agree with everything you are saying here.

But…. THAT. RING. IS. ENORMOUS. I think that may be the biggest ring I’ve ever seen on someone that wasn’t a celebrity.

 
4.
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Guest
Jessica

Wait…. is that a picture of your ring?

 
5.
Jellybean77
Member
Jellybean77 (message)  78 posts, Worker bee

I totally agree! hear hear girl!

and omg, that is a HUGE ring

 
6.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Glitter (message)  986 posts, Busy bee

Sorry for the confusion, gals. THAT’S NOT MY RING!!! I tried to find a picture of the most ridiculously ginormous ring - just for fun. :)

 
7.
LzzNYC
Member
LzzNYC (message)  882 posts, Busy bee

HUGE RING! Wow!!!!!!!

I agree 100% …

 
8.
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Guest
Jengy

Shew Miss Glitter, you had me worried! My ring doesn’t look anything like that! lol :)

 
9.
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Guest
lou

Oh thank god that’s not your ring … that’s hideous!

 
10.
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Guest
Jessica

LOL. Ok. It’s funny because I was just thinking like, yes, everything she says is true, but yeah I WOULD feel different wearing that thing. I mean, one hand would drag on the ground! :) Thanks for the great post anyway.

 
11.
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Guest
DrDazey

I definitely agree… wearing the ring, regardless of the size of the rock, does make a woman feel different. You’re spoken for!! You’re loved and you’re in love and the rest of the world can see that!! I feel naked now without my ring. :)

 
12.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Perfume (message)  2,253 posts, Buzzing bee

That is a sick ring…and by sick, I mean Harry Winston. Regarding what the ring represents, etc. I actually forget to wear mine sometimes…and I guess I really don’t feel any different. I’m about to marry a wonderful man and that is the one fact that is important.

 
13.
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Bee
Miss Bruschetta (message)  5,565 posts, Bee Keeper

I find myself glancing at the left hand of brides-to-be in the Macy’s housewares department, at the bridal salon, etc. And I curse myself every time I do it! The style, design, size or presence of a ring shouldn’t have any connection to the strength, commitment and future success of a relationship.

 
14.
Josalyn
Member
Josalyn (message)  358 posts, Helper bee

My ring is different- 3 different golds, 3 different color diamonds- and it says “Me” all the way. I look at it, and I let it define me, because it does- it gives people the right impression. It’s small but beautiful and captivating and a little odd but timeless- all at the same time.

 
15.
Miss Hot Wings
Bee
Miss Hot Wings (message)  2,213 posts, Buzzing bee

Great post Miss Glitter! I thought it was weird myself. I am a total feminist and thought it weird that I loved looking down and staring at my ring. It’s just so me and reminds me of how well the FI knows me to have picked out the most perfect ring for me. The ring was away for 1 week for resizing, and I was totally sad. I really do love wearing it. I think you should love your ring. You shouldn’t feel bad for wanting to wear it. It’s just like everything else you own now. You don’t have to be obsessed with wearing it, but definitely enjoy it when you have it on!

 
16.
Guest Icon
Guest
cincyGirl

I hate not wearing my ring. Not because of what it says but because I have grown used to wearing it. I don’t look at it as much as I did when I first got engaged, but every now and then the sparkle catches my eye, At that moment I think how lucky I am…on a side not, I feel naked with out my ring. I feel for it when it isn’t there and worry about where I left it. I always leave it in the same place, on my nightstand.

 
17.
Guest Icon
Guest
Guest

Because my finance and I believe in being as socially conscious as possible, my engagement ring has (recycled!) diamonds from a ring I inherited from my grandmother and a setting made of reclaimed platinum that my finance paid for, so it’s always going to have a lot of meaning for me, even beyond the “is it bigger/smaller, or loved enough or not”.

 
18.
Member Icon
Member
West Coast Bride (message)  708 posts, Busy bee

I definately feel different when I’m wearing my ring. Much like using “Mrs.” instead of “Ms.” as a married women, it tells the outside world your relationship status, and for those of us who are private people by nature. No ring doesn’t mean not committed, but ring is a clear sing of some kind of committed relationship. Obviously I wouldn’t be getting married if I wasn’t happy to make some kind of statement to the world about my intentions with West Coast Groom, but it does feel different when I wear it.

 
19.
lilythespitfire
Member
lilythespitfire (message)  114 posts, Blushing bee

I was just wondering if any Bee had posted something about social status and their e-rings. I love my ring. I also get stuck in the stupid competition thing, and sometimes I wish it was bigger, other times I feel embarrassed its too big in comparison. It’s weird. But one thing I do like is knowing that it does give my fiance a kick to see it on, and that it makes him really proud.

 
20.
Bee Icon
Bee
Mrs. Sea Breeze (message)  972 posts, Busy bee

I admit, I look at my ring a lot. Because it’s pretty, yes, but more so in awe as I think to myself: holy crap. I’m MARRIED. I’m like, an ADULT or something now. Holy crap. It reminds me that I’m mature (um, sometimes) and it gives me confidence to make decisions which are hard.

 
1 2 3 

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Mrs. Glitter
Mrs. Glitter

Mrs. Glitter, Los Angeles Age and Occupation: 27, Research Consultant/Writer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Accounting Engagement Date: May 6, 2007 Wedding Date: June, 2009 Venue: Millenium Biltmore Hotel About Me: I was born and raised in West Los Angeles, California. I spent eight years in the Northeast working and completing my education. Having split time between two sides of the country has given me a true appreciation for both coasts. It has also provided an overabundance of cross country drives, flights and long distance relationship fun/misery! I love my family, my doggy Emma, fabulous wine, Anthropologie, politics, reading, being outdoors, exploring new cities, and good movies! My fiance and I are complete opposites, but somehow we have managed to fall completely and hopelessly in love.

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