Weddingbee Blog

I used to think, “I’m not a conventional girl…” (Mainly because I’m a 36 year old woman.)

But perhaps I’m turning into a version of her: That girl. That girl of lusciously buoyant dresses, ginormous icey rings and sticky sweet frosted cupcakery.

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But I’ve never been that girl. I mean, I don’t even like shopping (have you heard?) or anything too sweet (macarons are the extent of it), and have NEVER SEEN an episode of Sex and the City! What?! Now hear what I’m saying, there is nothing wrong with Thatgirl (T.G.). Nothing at all, I think she’s wonderful and fanciful and delightful. All those sweet confectionary things. I love grand flourishes in artwork, concepts, and theory… even touches of it in decor… but not so much on my person, you know?

Well… after Mr. P and I got engaged last Spring, that resistance to T.G. softened (for a short period of time, at least). I got all confused about myself and who I was… I had to see the SATC movie, especially after this email exchange with my friend, M:

M: How’s living in Mr. P’s fabulous pad? It looks gorgeous!

Perfume: Great! He’s building closets for my junk!

M: Ooh, building closets! Just like the Sex and the City movie! You give me hope. The dream can come true!

Perfume: …What? They build closets?

M: He asks her if she wants a ring and she says, “No, just build me a big closet.”

Perfume: [Hm.]

Well, mine are just California Closets. And I’ll admit it, if I had to make the choice, I’d go for the ring. Yeah, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m totally, unfortunately, creepily T.G. (Good thing I didn’t have to make that choice.)

Anyhoo, I had varying ideas on what I wanted—they seemed to be ever changing. And it was making me anxious! Like the wedding gown, a woman/girl has to really think about how the e-ring represents her personality, tastes, antecedents, etc.

Recall that Mr. P proposed without a ring, insisting that I choose it. (More on shopping for the stone later.) So before stepping into a store, I spent quite a bit of time online just browsing around. And it seemed that my taste made a bit of an evolution from ornate to simple, to… well, you’ll see.

All over the nets, on the Knot, Martha, Weddingbee, etc. I kept seeing gorgeous Super Bowl ring-sized paved/micropave lovelies…

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I really liked the old-timey oval and cushion shapes! My personal style is pretty austere, so I thought, CONTRAST it! But I kept asking myself, is this me? Will this style “date” my ring? Will this be too flashy for my plain everyday sensibilities? Then I thought, why not go uber classic?

Ah, Tiffany

I love the look of a an exquisitely simple, flawless stone floating on top of a femininely thin and delicate loop of precious metal! (Maybe it’s the level of connoisseurship that I find appealing?) Visions of Audrey Hepburn, Jackie O, and wrist gloves passed before me…

Eventually, I thought, what is me? Really, me? I want classic, but not common. I want understated, discreet, streamlined, modern. But at the same time I love vintage… I have a vintage watch, I have vintage handbags.

Art deco, perhaps? And then, I saw this:

Harry Winston

Now, this… this is me, only “me” is not (so) ostentatious… (and no, don’t freak out, this isn’t my ring—that’ll be in the next post—yes, that’s right, just hang on!).

It was hard reconciling Thatgirlness with feelings of guilt and living consciously. Having traveled quite a bit, I’ve seen poverty, modesty, and world views so different from the fluffy, happy, self-indulgent consumerism that was my reality for a time there. But at the same time, I wanted something stunning and beautiful.

Can a ring be quiet, dignified and magnificent all at once?

Were you able to choose your own ring? Do you think it is very different from what your fiance would have chose on his own?