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Mr. P also really liked the shape, and given the other options, he preferred its clean lines. And as much as this thing would be a representation of my personal taste, it also became a demonstration of Mr. P’s obsessive connoisseurship. Mr. P is a collector of things. He is also a perfectionist (Mr. P, if you’re reading this, I truly say that with all my affection). And before he invests in something of substantial value, he ruminates over its quality.

For months he read every review, article, and expert opinion on the matter of selecting a diamond. He was thoroughly absorbed in finding the best cut and clarity (along with color) diamond. (Naturally, when it comes to engagement rings, many men are like this… but Mr. P goes to 11.)

Anyway, the thing about the emerald shape is that the open facets reveal everything, like a magnifying glass. Any inclusion or color in the stone is obvious. So basically, to exude that sleek exquisiteness, the stone should be near (if not totally) FLAWLESS. Whatever that means.

We used a certain minimum threshold as our guide. But, ultimately, as you probably already know, you just have to examine the diamond in person through a loup. We talked to several jewelers in our area, and then decided to avoid retailers and go to New York, yes, to the diamond district. A friend recommended Roman Malakov who has one of those broker kiosks as well as a storefront. One of his sons showed us several nice stones, but we wanted to shop around. We also met Bernie (just Bernie), a friend of friend who showed us some stones in the darkness of his apartment on the Upper East. (That was weird.) But there was nothing that I was really happy with. The diamonds we viewed certainly met our specifications on paper, but in person it was a different story. Again, you have to see them in person, as ratings are sketchy. And, in all embarrassing and greedy candor, I was disappointed at how small the diamonds looked given their weight.

Another difficult thing about the emerald cut is that it doesn’t glimmer like stones with myriad faceting. It is meant to reflect like a mirror. So the purposeful lack of that glint makes it appear smaller. The beauty of the step cutting style is that it can shine like a clear and deep pool of water. So there has to be some thickness to the diamond. Unlike some stones where there is a larger table (e.g. spread out and flattened)–that makes them appear beautifully larger than their carat weight–that doesn’t really work with the emerald as it will look chip-like and won’t reflect light very well.

Grrrr. How exhausting.

Like a petulant child, I made it no secret that I found the exercise of finding the diamond utterly fatiguing. I also told Mr. P how I wish he had done this all himself (I’m a jerk and later apologized). I felt that the meaning of this special ring had been lost in this absurd search process.

Anyway, to make an already boring and tediously long story short, we came close to buying a diamond from a RETAIL store on 5th Avenue that day. Yes, we were that exhausted. It was heavier and bigger than we originally thought we wanted/needed. I just wanted to get it over with, and was on a roll with whole T.G. petulant child thing (don’t judge me). But Mr. P was really hesitant (with good reason) about the diamond. Surprisingly, it was not because of the size… it was because of the color rating. He wasn’t going to pay that much for something he thought was below his quality expectations, apparently. I was tired and a bit disappointed, but agreed that perhaps we needed to think about it. So we went home empty handed.

A couple weeks later, and with more study, he purchased a diamond of almost the exact proportions, clarity, and cut (but better color) as what we saw on Fifth Avenue that day from Whiteflash.com. BUT we also made an appointment with Mark Turnowski of Engagement Rings Direct. Mark has a small, ridiculously secured and unassuming office… also on Fifth Avenue above the store we were in the week before. There, we compared the Whiteflash and Mark’s diamonds. We had come down to these two stones. On paper, they were almost identical. In person… wow, the difference. The Whiteflash diamond weighed a tad more, but appeared milky or sleepy, while Mark’s had this blinding clarity and reflectiveness that was… in a word… exquisite.

My poor camera skills at play.

And there we found it. So, the last bit of detail was the setting. Platinum and unadorned to showcase the quality of the diamond. I chose three different plain-looking settings. Mr. P surprised me a week later after Mark made the ring.

So ultimately, I guess we chose the ring together. My style, his eye for detail.

And while the stone is a heavy one, it is by no means cocktail-sized. It is the exceptionally understated…and quietly magnificent ring that I envisioned. (Would I do it all over again? No.)

Don’t judge my hairy knuckles.

Was your search for an engagement ring a long one? Or was it love at first sight?