Wedding Blog
Y’all know how much I like analogies, right? And that I’m bound and determined to carry them through to their last wheezing gasps? Boy, do I have a treat for you.
{If you’re related to me, please stop reading. Now. Seriously. Please?}
Today, we’re going to talk about Brazil. And it’s not to see this guy.
Nor is it even about the country.
(Think about it.)
(Got it yet?)
(A, ha! There you go. Now you get it.)
Yup. As the queen of all things uncomfortable, I’m blogging about the removal of lawn from every last corner of the country. (Don’t say I didn’t warn you that the analogy was going to be pretty cheesy.)
Tomorrow, I’m going in for my first ever Brazilian (again, not talking about Helio). I’m taking Mrs. Caramel’s advice to heart… and taking an aspirin. Chalk it up to yet another one of those crazy things we women do for men and grooming, and blame it on the fact that I didn’t have any better ideas for a Valentine’s Day gift.
Lest you think I’m a hussy for giving this as a gift, may I remind you that we women have been known to kindly help our guys eat better, dress better, and (tell the truth!) groom better? Honestly, it would be different if he’d asked for it, or even mentioned it, but since it’s a surprise of my choosing, I’m fine with it. And I hear it’s pretty awesome, if a little, ahem, breezy.
I’ll report back when it’s over. Have you been to Brazil? Any last minute suggestions for me and my low pain threshold?
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Good luck!! Can’t wait to hear how it went. I haven’t ever been there!
You should take ibruprofen instead. It is an anti-inflamatory and asprin thins the blood to a greater extent so probably isn’t best. Good Luck!
I’ve heard good and bad about “going to Brazil”… I keep thinking about that one SATC episode when they all talk about going to Brazil… HA! Good luck, Miss Cheese!!!!
LOL, you never fail to entertain, M. Cheese! I can’t say I’ve ever been on a Brazilian adventure, but I’m anxious to hear about yours. 
Yes ibuprofen. And if you can, a trim is a good idea too, if its too long it hurts more (although not too short or the wax can’t get it!)
I’ve never been to Brazil, but I agree with Julie about the ibuprofen!
you slay me. you are so funny with your analogies. i did go to brazil a few weeks before the wedding. the woman that was my “tour guide” was amazing. she started with the worst part (i swear i didn’t think i would be able to do it after that first rrrrriiiiiiiiiiippppppppppp, then she said that was the worst of it.) and everything else was super easy after that. however, it was by no means a pleasure trip.
good luck!
I have indeed been to Brazil, in fact, I am a regular visitor, and I recommend exhaling as each strip is pulled off. Whether it’s just a distraction or serves some actual physical pain-dulling purpose, I think it makes it hurt less.
Also, wear comfortable underwear (i.e. no thongs) because that area is going to be a wee bit sensitive post-wax. If you’re concerned about ingrown hairs after the wax, I suggest exfoliating and either Tend Skin or Bikini Zone.
Enjoy your trip, and good luck!
I just went the first time a week and a half ago - I am a big fan! I find normal waxes to range from not painful at all to excruciating, so I had no idea what to expect on the pain scale, but I took my Advil and marched myself there. It wasn’t that bad! It lasted a while and was a little awkward, but I picked a place that I had been to often before, which is a no-frills place. The boy responded positively. I would keep it up if it didn’t cost so much…
Wow. Just when I thought you couldnt top your Twister analogy.. you bring on Brazil. While I haven’t been all the way to Brazil… I’ve made it halfway there. I must say it does make the game of Twister more intense. Its even better without all that lawn in the way. hahaha. Good luck Cheese!
This post was delayed, so I’m actually going TODAY. In four. short. hours. Yikes.
@chemchopity: hahahahh tour guide - nice
You know my recommendation - I’m all about the Anthony Ingrown hair treatment. I won’t go to brazil without it
A couple of tips! I’m an esthetician/ make up artist and these are things i’ve told my clients.
take advil it’s an anti inflamatory.
Do not exfoliate that night but do exfoliate every day after. You can get exfoliating gloves from the dollar store.. those work awesome!
Don’t use any lotions or creams in that area the first day, it can cause ingrown hairs.
Uh.. playing twister the day you get it done could be uncomfortable and cause chafing.. yeah.. I had to say it.
And don’t wear nice underwear because you could get wax on it.. a thong is probably best!
And I don’t know if you’ve had bikinis done before but brazilians hurt like a mofo.. but remember it hurts less every time and the hair eventually thins out and less grows back in.
Hope these tips help!
@MissCamera: ROFL.
@Angela: Thank. You. *taking deep breaths*
Ouch. I’m not sure I want to ever visit Brazil. But, congrats on your bravery!
You and I are clearly made for eachother. Meatballs and Cheese! I love your brave topics!
Miss Cheese, here’s the real deal. I just went for the first time this week. (you will probably get red bumps and be sore for a day or so!)
It’s painful. It’s so painful. I cringed a lot and the aesthetician kept asking if I was ok.
However, a week later, I have to say I love it! I don’t know if I’ll ever go back, but it’s seems a little like child birth(hah!)–it’s painful but you’ll forget the pain with the final result!
I’m sure Mr. Cheese will love it!
Don’t worry, Miss Cheese! I went to Brazil for the first time last year, and I liked it so much that now I go every six weeks! I was terrified to go the first time, but I recall walking out thinking that it was not nearly as bad as I had thought, and I love the results! Some tips I might provide from my year of experience:
- Take Tylenol an hour before
- Avoid caffeine until after the wax
- If the wax feels hot, say something. It might be the right temperature, but it’s good to let the asthetician know so they can double-check. (I’ve never had bruising or anything like that from wax being too hot though, like Mrs. Carmel said she did).
- Pick up a tube of hydrocortisone if you feel any discomfort after
- Try to go to a salon that specializes in brazilians and/or waxing
Good luck, don’t worry too much and enjoy the results!
Strangely, I never mind the pain. It’s that kind of “satisfying” pain that though you’re strangely uncomfortable, you know you’ll be happy with the results. And yes, be aware of the heat–if it’s too hot, TELL HER!
Just breathe.
Good luck! I’m thinking about going to Brazil before the wedding, so be sure to report back!
I went to Brazil a week before my wedding - and was totally petrified, due to my extremely low pain threshold. But guess what? I popped two ibuprofin ahead of time and it was over and done with in no time. Seriously. Awkward? Most definitely. But awkward like going to the GYN, considering that person, um…helps you get to Brazil for a living. Like a travel agent. That was three months ago and when I have the extra cash I’m going back asap!
Good luck! I travel to brazil on the regular, and they aren’t lying when they say it hurts less every time!!
To angela and anyone else with experience.. Any more tips to avoid the ingrowns??
You are hilarious Miss Cheese! When I travel to Brazil, I use tend skin to avoid the ingrowns. I love to hear tips on the feminine grooming!
You are a brave soul! I’m so scared of going to Brazil, I don’t handle pain very well. I actually do my own waxing, but never like they do in Brazil 
I’ve considered going there before the honeymoon.
How much time before the honeymoon should I do it? How long does it take to go back to normal?
@ TechGirl- I think you should head to brazil 2-3 days before the ‘moon. I would not suggest going the day before or the day of your honeymoon because you may be sore and probably will not want to play twister at that time. (In my experience, the soreness goes away after about a day). I wouldn’t suggest going any later than 5 days before because you want to reap the maximum benefits of going to Brazil for the honeymoon!
@TechGirl: Even if you aren’t sore, you will be all red and splotchy right afterward for at least a day or so, and it’s not very pretty. You should be hair free for at least 2 weeks after, so depending on how long your honeymoon is I would say go at least 3 or 4 days before.
You are freaking hilarious! I’ve never been, but I’ve considered it. Can’t wait to hear about your trip! (Ha, might as well keep up the analogy).
I drink before I go.
Disclaimer: This is not medical advice. I just think a little cocktail action makes it easier.
@Miss Burgundy: Thanks! Much appreciated! Now I need to find a good place to do it.
@Mrs. Avocado: Thanks! Our honeymoon will be 11 days, so that should be perfect. I really don’t have to worry about grooming during that time.
@ heather25- haha, the salon I go to serves a glass of wine before the wax!!
Miss Cheese you have done it again. Great post. I am trying not to laugh at work. While i have not been to Brazil I have been close. How does one handle that ache as you leave Brazil. Ok I am never going to be able to think about Twister or Brazil the same way ever again.
@ktbride2be Really just exfoliate like crazy. I’ve always used the glove but a sugar scrub or apricot scrub would work as well. I find they are kind of messy though, but in the shower it would be fine. I work with aveda and they have a liquid exfoliant that I used before every waxing on my clients because it helps clean the surface but will also help with preventing any ingrowns.
To the people who said about if the wax feels too hot. YES TELL YOUR WAXER!!!!! And also she/he should be checking the wax temp on their wrist before ever putting it on your skin. The wax pot temp can vary so much depending on how much wax is in the pot etc.
I also find that hard wax (wax that you don’t use the muslin slips with) makes a brazillian hurt less.
Also don’t be shy to ask if your waxer needs you to hold skin! The more taut your skin is held the better!
And I forgot to add before avoid coffee, soda anything that has caffeine before and after, don’t tan before because it thins the skin and you can tear (which fricken HURRRRRTS) or after because the skin is sensitive and can burn. And the week before your period you are more sensitive to waxing so it will hurt more try to schedule it for right after your get off your period and that way you can uh, reap the full benefits of the waxing and then pms while the hair is growing back.
ok.. i can’t think of anything else lol hope this helps!
Great post. I’ve never been to Brazil and don’t think I’m brave enough to ever go, but please do tell us how it goes…unless it’s too traumatizing. =o)
I’ve been getting bazillians for about 3 years now. My hubby-to-be LOVES it. It hurts like heck…but the results are worth it. Just make sure to hold your skin as taut as possible. Wait until she tells you to turn over…LOL! So embarassing…
I once tried to give myself a guided tour of Brazil. I only made it half-way across the country and had to turn back…
It looked like a goatee.
Leave this one to the pros!
I am practiacally a native of Brazil by now. I’ve been doing the full monte wax regularly for 3 years now.
The keys are:
1) a great waxer who does Brazilians all the time (recomended by a friend is usually the way to go)
2) the knowledge that it only really stings for a minute
3) keeping in mind that your esthitcian has chosen this as a job, so no need to be embarassed about her being ALL up in your business.
4) Tell her that it’s your first time. You have to do some things that are a little unconventional based on a regular bikini wax.
My girl has me in and out of there in 10 minutes. Maybe I’m lucky or something, but I genuinely don’t think it hurts that much.
Have a glass of wine beforehand, and a couple margaritas afterwards. The wine will help dull the pain, and the margaritas will make you forget there was any pain in the first place!
haha - I did this right before the wedding and I can remember thinking ‘Oh gosh - I don’t know if I can survive this!’ I almost made her stop As soon as I got home I remember telling my hubby “You better appreciate what I just did for you!” 
I haven’t been to Brazil since - but this post has gotten me thinking maybe I should surprise him. After an Advil and glass of wine of course!! They for the tips I had NO CLUE what I was in for the first time.
I want to try one but I am way scared! And I have no one to recommand me to one! Anyone know a good one in houston?
Where do you buy the Tend Skin? I’ve never heard of it before and I get ingrowns like crazy.
OOOOOUCH!!!
That is one place I don’t think I will ever venture into. hahaha.
If I did… I would definitely have to consider some Grey Goose first….
Ha! I visit Brazil. Know the country well. I’ll just second gemini606’s recommendation on a topical analgesic. I use Bikini Zone and it helps with any redness, pain, or irritation. You can get it at any local drugstore…next to all the dapilatory stuff! Good luck!!!!
I definitely want visit (and I love your analogies), but I don’t know how to find a good place near me. (Lansing or Metro-Detroit area, MI) How do you know who to trust?
“Breezy”?!?!? Hahaha, wait ’till I tell the mister. You rawk.
I’ve been thinking about visiting Brazil… I’m just really nervous about taking the pluge. Let me know how it goes Miss Cheese.
P.S. I love how everyone continues to use your lingo… even on later posts (”Twister”)
@HistoryBride: My waxer is the best in Michigan. It might take me a while, but I will get her info and pm it to you.
Miss Cheese, take two (or three) pills!
ok, I live in Brazil and i actually thought you were talking about the country… hahahaha… I’m brazilian, but not really “brazilian” in that way… i hope i’ll be brave enough someday… hehehe… to be truly brazilian!
Miss Cheese, I made an appt and went since your post - It had been awhile and I used to go to Brazil regularly. It really wasn’t that bad, I think the more often you go, the better. A good waxer is so important!! I love mine (NYC) - she is done so quickly, its over before you even notice.
@Janna19: Janna, where do you go in NYC? My waxer retired (small nail salon on 21st) and I haven’t been able to find anyone nearly as good since.
Thank you so much for this post! I’m going to Brazil for the first time right before my wedding in May and I was nervous.. still am, but thanks, everyone for the great tips!
While I agree it will be a very nice surprise for Mr. Cheese, you should of scheduled the appointment for a few days ago. The day that you get the brazilian not only will you be sore but also theres a chance that you will get a bunch of alittle red blood blisters and what will basicaly looks like small hickies. Anyways I wish you the best of luck.
Great post and geat feedbacks. My mother owns a Brazilian Waxing place in Nj and about to open her second one and we get new people every week and some are trying the very fist time. Here are some tips
: some people say the advil or a glass of wine helps, preferable go after you shower that day, and not after a long day of work, ask questions, call ahead, they will sometomes ask you to completely take off your underwear and there are some uncomfortable moments but nothing the waxolisgists are not used too. definetely tell them if wax is too hard, try to relax and not think so much about the pain because if you are tense than that can cause brusingm and remember you do not have to go completely bare, the true Brazilian Waxing in Brazil does not take it all but just does it tiny enough to wear those tiny bikinis and thus the name. Good luck
@Feuza:
typo I meant if wax is too HOT not Hard, lol.
Also some salons if they are Brazilian might ask you to turn around because they like to do the derrier internal part and that actually does not hurt at all.
You know, I’ve been wondering about that. The whole turning around thing– my friends say they have been to salons that had them do that and they found it to be really awkward! At my salon they just ask you to lift your legs…it’s much less awkward.
@MissTaffy if possible could you please share your recommendation with me too! Thanks
I’ve been a brazilian airlines frequent flier for 4 years now. Don’t go just before your period or during or just after as it will hurt a WHOLE lot more.
I’ve been to one who just uses hard wax but does it a patch at a time. It hurt less than soft wax but took forever so overall, it still hurt a whole lot more than using soft wax and muslin strips.
I’m always worried that the scrub will be too rough for such a delicate area, what kind of scrub should I use? How abt gentle facial scrubs?
I think the term is more Going Brazilian and not going to Brazil. I do not recommend cold hard wax at all! and there are products out there for ingrown hair. But here is top of the house news- Brazilian Waxing is now banned in NJ and Jaira’s Waxing Salon is fighting back. I mean people get can piercings but not remove their unwanted hair. So bikini strip is okay but not the whole works? The board based their decision on fear of the unknown, they did not investigate or held any opening hearings. So should a cosmetology board decided what we as women and some men can do or not to their bodies?
@Miss Cheese: That’s awesome! Can’t wait to hear all about it! Is the post up yet?
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Mrs. Cheese, Knoxville
Age and Occupation: 29, Engineering Manager
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, CAD Designer
Engagement Date: July 31, 2008
Wedding Date: May, 2009
Blogging Since: October 16, 2008
Venue: Our home and the two acres it sits on
About Me: I’m an emotional girl who loves sentimental things, parenthetical asides, and trying to do things herself. I can cook, sew, am a whiz at planning, terrible at delegating, and totally in love with my fiancé (who will be my second husband but first love of the rest of my life). For our home/ garden/ DIY wedding, we’ll be moonlighting as interior designers, home improvers, and gardeners with the help of our fabulous friends and neighbors. We can’t wait to be married, and are learning how fun getting married can be.
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