Weddingbee Blog
Since I have been engaged, one of the most common questions I’ve been asked is, “Have you found your dress?” or some variation of that question. I usually respond with, “No, I haven’t even gone shopping yet. I’m not sure what I am looking for.” And it is true. I’ve been engaged since May, but have not gone dress shopping yet. Why? Well, first of all I am so busy and I often do not know what my schedule will be, so I don’t make the appointment at the dress shop. I want to lose weight and have worried that the dresses will look different once I do so. I think this is me just delaying, because I want to lose 15 pounds, and that probably won’t make too much of a difference.
In all of my wedding planning, I think I enjoy the things that aren’t “me” oriented. I love planning the decor, colors, details, stationery and graphics. I love planning and creating things for others to enjoy. But I don’t like being the center of attention (I can’t stand the Happy Birthday song on my birthday, for example) and so I feel weird about doing the part that revolves around me. I know that as the bride, all eyes will be on me, but that is a little nerve wracking. So maybe even the idea of being on a pedestal in a bridal salon with all eyes on me is even scarier.
The biggest reason is probably that I really don’t know what I want. I haven’t imagined a specific look in my head, so the idea of hundreds and hundreds of dresses is overwhelming. I browse all my bridal magazines and see things I like, but I’m still unsure. I’m not sure what will look good on me since I am not a 6 foot tall model. There is so much pressure to find “the dress” and I think I have shied away from that big decision. I love shopping though, so I am going to focus on that and having fun, instead of worrying about the pressure to find “the one”.
So now that I am done with the in-depth explanation of why I have not found my dress yet, I wanted to at least post some pictures of what I like. (Not that I can necessarily afford these dresses, but that’s a different story).
Amalia Carrara (Probably not in pink, but I like the neckline and folds)
I think I love anything that Abby at Style Me Pretty posts, but here are some different posts on dresses that have stood out in my memory…
Christina by Junko Yoshioka
The Quarry by Lela Rose
Photos Style Me Pretty
Elena by Junko Yoshioka (top left)
Mica by Junko Yoshioka (top right)
Lizzie by Stephanie James
Photos: Style Me Pretty
I’d love it if you gave me your feedback, or have any suggestions for designers or dresses you think I
should look at.
What was your dress shopping experience like? Does it make anyone else nervous?
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Sigh. That Sottero & Midgley makes my heart skip a beat every time I see it. Wish I would have tried it on before I bought mine. I love mine, but that one just takes my breath away!
It seems you like strapless, lace, and melissa sweet.
If I weren’t wearing my ML lace dress, I’d LOVE to wear the new melissa sweet Tilda -
http://www.priscillaofboston.com/dress_detail.jsp?gid=20&sfid=50615
I agree with August15bride…I fell in love with the Sottero & Midgely, but when I went to try it on, I saw a similar dress by a smaller designer and tried them both on! Amazingly the smaller *cheaper* designer’s dress fit WAY better because of the way it was cut in the hips 
The Oscar de la Renta with the pink sash is amazing! Definitely “dream wedding” material.
I procrastinated about dress shopping, too. I wanted to lose weight and just generally wasn’t into it. After a little introspection, I realized it was the major “thing” I needed to do for the wedding- everything else was a minor detail and easy to accomplish. As soon as the dress was purchased, the wedding planning was virtually over.
hahaha, you’re all over the place! 
you’re in for one very hard decision!
i absolutely love Melissa Sweet Cosimma =]. I was so close to splurging back when I was looking. Love the rouching and assymetricalness (is that a word?) of it.
Anyway, after I’d bought my dress…here I am months later and I found this: http://www.preownedweddingdresses.com/dresses/5993/Melissa-Sweet-Cosimma—New-2008-style-Size-4.html
Thought I’d share…just in case! =]
Happy hunting!
Oooh I like you. You’re a texture gal, just like me! All those ruffles and tiers and pleats and puffs and lace… love!
I think once you actually go try dresses on, you will be able to narrow it down more. You’ll find out that there are certain styles that will look better on you, and also hopefully be able to pick out a few features that you want in a dress. I’d also say, try to keep an open mind. A dress that might not seem “you,” may end up looking great on you.
I absolutely hate shopping, especially when you must find a dress/outfit. But I felt like dress shopping was so much easier. There are so many styles, and so many beautiful dresses.
Also, I hate being the center of attention. I did not enjoy being up in front of everyone during the wedding. But picking out the dress wasn’t bad at all. I just went with my mom, and we went to a small boutique. There was only one sales lady with us, and we had the area to ourselves, which was nice.
I tried on the second Monique Lhuillier at the Saks sample sale yesterday. I felt like it was a good first experience– I picked out the dresses I wanted from the racks (definitely tried some things that look bleh on the hanger too!) and no one was speeding me through an appointment or futzing about my budget. The important thing for me was to see the shapes.
If you’re near a Saks with a bridal department, I’d suggest starting there, just for a hassle-free first time.
Don’t feel pressured once you start trying dresses on. I’ve actually tried on tons of dresses, and didn’t feel like any of them are “the one”. I’m actually scared I’ve got too high expectations for finding “the one” since everyone kept telling me I “would just know”. I might be able to find it if my budget were infinite!
I’ve taken a leap and ordered something online that I’ve never seen in person or tried on. Out of all the dresses I’ve looked at and tried on, it’s the only one that’s made my heart flutter.
Having been with 2 brides (daughters) during their shopping experience, I know that is different for each person and it is easy to get caught up in it. One of my daughters found the dress on her first shopping trip even though she tried to resist it. The other felt like a “cake topper” in everything she tried on and had more trouble finding something that suited her. What I WILL advise is that you can save tons of money AND get the dress you want if you are willing to buy a preowned dress. Just know what you want and your precise measurements and search the web…there are several websites available. Most of all, have a great time! You will look gorgeous that day!
The most important advice I have for you is start shopping ! It might take you longer than you think AND figuring out what dresses/designers you like will help you find a better deal, whether it’s sample sale, trunk show or preowned dress (if you are open to it).
Also, be aware that you might not have THE ONE moment. When I started shopping I tried on a lot of dresses ( by the time I bought mine, it totalled maybe 30) and could narrow it down to final 2-4 dresses per visit. I would have been happy to get married in either of those, which obviously doesn’t help since you only need one. I kept hearing about girls crying and having this big emotional moment but it was not coming for me even though I was in love with the dress. Realizing that it’s not going to happen for me helped me make a decision. I kept coming back to the same dress by Amsale that I eventually bought. Everybody is different and it will help you if you recognize it and embrace it.
Good luck shopping !
I love the Vera Wang and Vineyard Collection gowns.
you have such a variety of taste…I can’t wait see your final choice!
I am in a very similar situation. I’ve been engaged since April of last year, and I have yet to enter a bridal store. I look at bridal gowns online and in magazines, still not knowing what I want. The ones that win me over are way out of my price range.
So I took my first step yesterday and went to the sample sale at Goodwill that Mrs. Cupcake mentioned on Friday. Although I didn’t find any designer dresses that fit my style, I did come across an amazing vintage dress. It was the first wedding dress I tried on, and I bought it for a mere $25. It’s not the “one,” but the experience helped me gain the confidence and courage I need to get on track. Now I cannot wait to try on more dresses at real bridal stores.
The one consistent thing I noticed in a lot of the dresses you have pictured have sweetheart necklines, so that *may* narrow things down a bit for you?
Have fun shopping and go with something that flatters you, and that you feel beautiful in AND that you feel comfortable in!
I love that first Lela Rose dress! Can’t wait to see what you select. 
Wow, they are all stunning, but the last one is unbelievable!!!
I was the same way… I put off dress shopping, then when I finally went, I took my bridesmaids with me and focused on finding their dresses the whole time! They made me try some on finally when we left, but I wasn’t into it. So much so that I tried on my dress that night, and didn’t have the “moment”, because my nerves were completely shot lol!
Good luck, I know you will find something amazing.
Take a look at the Casablanca 1870 — it is similar to the second Vineyard Collection dress you posted.
Oh — and the Casablanca looks WAY better in person than it does on the website, I promise!
The first dress my FSIL loved. She ended up finding a similar dress at cymbelineusa.com that they were able to put a flower on for her and it looks very similar. It is called barbara. She said it was less than half the price too. I’d suggest trying to find a salon where they bring you dresses rather than having to weed through the racks yourself on you first visit to avoid feeling too overwhelmed. GL
I can’t decide between all of them! I think the best thing for you is to go and try them on. I had a picture of what I wanted in my head but it didn’t look right on me when I was in the store and ended up going for something completely different. Good luck with the hunt!
If you look at what all your dresses have in common, looks like sweetheart neckline and skirt with some body, either flare, pickups, lace, etc. You seem to be OK about straps or no straps. Since you are getting married in 8 months, you have 3 whole months to try dresses on. Once you start that process, you will start to see which of the characteristics actually suit your figure.
For other clothes we have years and years to figure out what the right style is for us. It’s only the wedding where you need this crash course in correlating what style you like to look at and what style actually suits you.
It looks like your tastes are running towards textured, strapless dresses with sweetheart necklines. Big questions to ask yourself: do you think you want an open back, closed or partial? What kind of sleeves/straps do you think you want? Full or tea length? So much of this stuff is really hard to tell until you see yourself in the dresses, though.
Before I began my dress shopping in earnest, I thought I would looks best in a full length, diamond white dress with half to 3/4 length sleeves and little to no beading/details…I ended up going for a dark ivory halter dress with lots of beading. I also delayed going shopping because I wanted to lose weight, but I found that I wasn’t truly motivated until I saw myself in a dress I loved, but one in which I wanted to look even better.
All the dresses you have pictured here are gorgeous, so whatever you end up deciding will look lovely - good luck!
If you go dress shopping in San Diego, go to Here Comes the Bride. Amazing service + great selection!
Melissa Sweet or Modern Trousseau are great choices for what you are looking for. I read about Modern Trousseau on another blog and after checking out the website I was really impressed with all the gorgeous gowns.
If you love Monique L., check out some of the Casablanca styles. I ended up getting a Casablanca sample for a song, after all I could even stand to look at in the bridal mags was Miss L. Good luck!
I love that Watters gown! I fall for the sweethheart necklines every time…
You need to bite the bullet and go shopping!!! I’ve been engaged since July, our wedding is this October, and I started looking last fall. I’m like you…I hate being the center of attention…I hated the mere thought of trying dresses on, especially since I also plan on losing weight before the big day. I went shopping with my mom and mother-in-law (nightmare….I called my fiancee 3 times from the dressing room hoping he’d rescue me from the monstrosities Mom wanted me to try). Then I went with my two matrons of honor two different times. I had a general idea of what I thought I wanted, but you’ll be surprised how what you thought you wanted changes once you see yourself in the different dresses. I’m not a beads/lace person, yet my dress has intricate embroidery and lace…but I can’t imagine wearing anything else!! Take someone who’s opinion you trust 110% and bring pictures of what you like and go from there.
I also took awhile to go dress shopping because I got so wrapped up in the other “Details” that I found much more exciting to plan. However, I sort of jokingly went to David’s Bridal after feeling particularly stressed out about my budget and drum roll….found my dream dress…well within my price range too!! Who knew that they had something other than plain white, grossly detailed wedding dresses! It is very similar to the Lela Rose, Renella de FIna and Monique dresses you have above. Lace, sweetheart neckline, aline, beautiful chapel train - try the Monique Luo CRL538 from Davids. Good luck!
I would take a look at Judd Waddell. You seem to have a tendency toward romantic, softer dresses. I think his style would fit you perfectly!!
I purposefully didn’t really look at dresses in magazines and on websites because I wanted to see if I would have that “slap in the face this is it” moment. It was hard considering I waited about 3 months before going shopping (one month was spent in Spain, and, ohmygosh, there are some amazing designers in Barcelona)! I found my dress at the first bridal shop, and it was the second one I put on. It’s Amsale and amazing! However, being a smart shopper, I definitely called around to other (larger) bridal shops to check for lower prices. It payed off! I’m getting mine at much lower than expected and with a trunk show discount!
All of that was to say this, I would try Amsale dresses. They’re beautiful, simple, and timeless.
I completely sympathize! I wanted dress shopping to be fun and exciting but also hate being the center of attention. I nearly fell in love with a sottero & midgley gown until realizing it made my friends and mom more excited than it made me. So I finally gave up and have been creating my own gown.
Have you considered working with a custom designer who will take into account your preferences? I looked into that before starting my gown and was pretty surprised the costs weren’t always extravagant… Good luck on your hunt, wherever it leads!
i’m the same way! i focused on a lot of the other details that i thought were more fun and have only started wedding dress shopping because my friends hounded me into it. the best advice i can give is try on all sorts of different dresses. i found that although i didn’t intially like the look, the consultants that i worked with had me try things on just to see how it would look and i was pretty surprised. there were a few dresses that looked great on but i initially passed. don’t feel pressured into buying a dress and make sure you feel great in it! good luck!
I understand about not wanting all the attention on you - I feel so awkward being at the center of it all. I was not looking forward to dress shopping either and having so many people trying help me and watching me. I was able to find a salon where they let you do your own thing and were very hands off, and I only brought my sister, which made it much easier. I would recommend the Casablanca line as well. Here’s one that looks similar to your style: http://www.bestbridalprices.com/casablanca-wedding-dresses-style-1934-p-40423.html?cPath=110
Please don’t focus on finding the perfect dress right now. Since this process is so difficult for you, your first step should just be going to try on dresses to narrow down what style of dresses that you like. Don’t feel pressure to find the right dress right away - I must have tried on almost a hundred dresses at many, many different shops before finding a dress that I truly love. When you see the right dress, you will know it, and you don’t have to buy anything until you are sure. But the sooner you start looking, the more time you will have to look without any time pressure.
shouldn’t you go dress shopping pretty soon if your wedding is in september? You are probably going to have to buy off the rack instead of ordering it! Or else it won’t get to you in time for alterations!
DOn’t fret too much! Let;s just say I started with one style and went completely opposite when I finally found THE dress. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, it was mostly that I just needed to find a dress that would fit me and my personality, a tall atheltic person, as opposed to a smaller petite girl and my idea of what I thought I wanted. I went to 8 different dress shops looking for dresses and finally found one, by a designer that I didn’t like from viewing other dresses, but there was that one dress that was a departure from the normal style.
I was happy in that it was a afforable dress, made my mom cry, and I love to style.
Take heart, you will find it, but definitely be open to new styles and designers as mine was a complete departure from my original vision.
Seriously 10 of your dresses, were on my list of inspiration as well. I LOVE lela rose!!! I bought into the fear of “you better shop now because it takes six months for it to arrive”. Which, when it’s all said it done, wasn’t a bad idea. I went to one store, tried on 10 dresses (all different styles) and found “the one”. Or at least “the one” for that day. I committed to it so that I wouldn’t make an oddessey out of the experience, because I’m certain that I could find “the one” every weekend if I let myself.
In the end, I found a dress that was not as pricey as those in my inspiration list, one that felt totally like me, made my Mom cry and one that I didn’t drive myself nuts with endless options.
Good luck to you, and just remember, it’s an important dress, but at the end of the day, it is just a dress, and you’ll look beautiful that day wearing a sack and your fiance will feel the same.
ps…ended up with the Watters 9046b
I am so glad someone else has not really been into the dress shopping! I am so nervous about it. Just like you I don’t want everyone looking at me. I am already really not excited about that on the big day. Plus I am really tall and it is all legs so I am worried that I will have a hard time finding a dress that is long enough. My inseam is 38 in flat footed! UGH..
I love the Oscar de la Renta. Such a dream dress… I love it!!! I want it.. Too bad my bank doesnt agree! You will find the perfect one! I like all your styles so far!
Wish you the best of luck!
Ooh you’re a girl after my own heart! Some fabulous choices.
I honestly struggled with the whole dress shopping thing. For months I was convinced I was going to buy a vintage dress (and even actually purchased one online, only to later return it with buyer’s remorse!). My mom and my sister really wanted to go dress shopping with me.
And even though I had been really against the whole bridal salon thing in the beginning…I ended up planning three different trips with three different groups (the last group including my mom and sister)…and had SO MUCH FUN! I think it’s one of those rights of passage pulling on and off a million different dresses. It can be exhausting (honestly!) but so fun. Great memories, and some ugly dresses
To make the experience more personal for me, I only went to salons that sold sample gowns. Not only did it help fit into my budget, I knew that the dress I found and fell in love with was the actual dress I’d be wearing on “the day” and would be coming home with me immediately!
I had a great experience playing dress up, and I wish you the same!
Don’t bother making an appointment. I went to many stores, many times, and never made one appointment. (this may sound rude but I’m just an impulsive person with a busy schedule) I went to David’s, a local but very large shop called Catan’s, a few other local places and then found my gown at a tiny local shop. And the display dress was 3 sizes too small! I did have a tiny “its the one” moment.
Go look just to look. Just to try a few on. No commitments. No big deal. Take only one person with you to help get in and outta the gowns, and then itsnot a huge spectacle.
WOW! They are all beautiful, I think you just have to start trying them on. I would also recommend looking at Pronovias dresses. I may be partial since that is my dress designer, but they are beautiful as well. But don’t mean to add to your list. Good luck!
I love your examples! Just beautiful… I think the second Monique Lhuillier dress is my fave, but I can’t wait to see what you pick! Good luck!
I would recommend doing what I did… I knew what I didn’t want but I didn’t really know what was going to fit me the best; so my mom and I went to David’s Bridal one day for like and hr and I tried on different styles. There is so much going on at David’s Bridal that you are never really the center of attention. I think the only person other than my mom that realized I was even in the store was the sales lady helping us grab dresses. After I knew what style looked best on me I made an appointment at another Bridal Salon.
P.S. I cannot recommend Maggie Sottero dresses high enough - they really have the best fit on anyone
Hi there fellow San Diegan! I love the dresses you posted, the Melissa Sweet especially! Great choices! If only you could wear them all Anyway, I got married last year and wore a Maggie Sottero dress (Libby). I LOVED it! I think one of my friends wore the Sottero & Midgley dress you posted. We bought ours at 2000 Dreams in Clairemont and their service was great! The owner, Andrew, even ordered the dress in a petite for me to avoid alteration on the hem. I still ended up needing to hem the dress because I’m short. But I was glad he even considered ordering it in a petite size! Good luck finding the dress!
I’m not gonna lie I was nervous! I had put so much pressure on myself to find the perfect dress and even brought an entourage to the shop. I had tried my best to avoid falling in love with the picture of a dress and decided to go with what I felt best in.
It worked and I fell in love and “just knew,” but I was nervous I would never get that feeling. Good luck!
Miss D, I know EXACTLY how you feel. The amount of choices and places to shop for dresses is simply astonishing and overwhelming. When I started dress shopping, I had no idea what I wanted or where to start, and I had never been to a store where I could expect to get one-on-one attention! Besides, the pressure of finding “the one” was scary, too– how to find the perfect dress?? I had no clue!
Perhaps you don’t share my views of love, but for me, finding my dress was a lot like finding my fiance. I love him beyond belief, he is “the one,” but I don’t know that he’s the “only one.” Maybe if I’d chosen a different college or we’d broken up at some point or any number of things had or hadn’t happened, I’d be marrying another guy. It just so happened that everything worked in favor of our relationship, and I chose him (and will continue to choose him for the rest of our lives).
Rather than worrying about finding “the one” and stressing about going to all the bridal stores that you can, just pick a few places and a go try on a few styles. Find out what looks good on you (for real– I thought I wanted something with an empire waist to hide my middle, and I ended up with something that accentuates my curves!). Ruminate on who you and your fiance are, and what you want your wedding to look like.
Then go back to a store and pick a dress that you love, that makes you feel like you, and don’t fret about all the other “maybes” out there. I have a feeling you’ll be just fine
I’m got engaged in July, and while I wasn’t planning to go wedding dress shopping this year, I ended up going in September because my MOH was in the States (she lives in Scotland) and I wouldn’t be seeing her again until the bachelorette party (which is this summer). I thought that I would love trying on dresses, but it became exhausting very quickly. I was lucky to have my MOH and 2 b-maids with me, and I strongly suggest taking some special people with you who will give you honest advice and make all the right noises about how gorgeous you look!
I ended up finding the dress of my dreams on that trip, and it’s the Melissa Sweet “tilda” which Miss Rye Bread had a link to in the 2nd comment up above. The most important thing I learned from finding the perfect dress was DON”T judge a dress by what it looks like on the model or the hanger. When the girl brought Tilda into the fitting room I told her to take it away because i thought it was ugly on the hanger, and i’d seen it on the website and didnt’ really like it. Well, she convinced me to try it on and it looked TOTALLY different on me. That’s the thing about wedding dresses…you transform the dress, not the other way around. The girl in the next fitting room can have the same body type as you, but can try on a dress and it does nothing for her. But when you try it on it just lights you up. So keep an open mind and wait until they’re on you before you veto anything. If I had never tried on Tilda I would still be looking for The Dress!!
p.s. Tilda has little buttons all the way down the back, and they’re not shown on the model on the website. Yet another reason not to base anything on the websites! Get out there and try them on yourself!
Oh the MS Cosimma comes back to haunt me…she’s so lovely. Just start trying them on! I think you’ll be able to start narrowing down right away and will begin to picture what is “you.”
It seems like you have a style that you like. I would first go and try on your favorite two dresses and then try on some others. I actually did the running of the brides and tried on about 25 dress in a matter of minutes. But, I did know what type of dress I liked. I think that once you start trying on dresses, it will become easier to identify your wedding day style … side note I actually went and bought another dress from a small boutique!
All beautiful choices. My best friend just tried on that Lela Rose dress last Friday! It’s GORGEOUS in person - the work is incredible. Ironically, she did not love it on her - and it just wasn’t the right dress for her venue. My suggestion is to try on as many of your selected dresses as you can and narrow down the style that you look best in, feel best in and then a good salesperson can easily find you THE DRESS (even if it’s not one of these).
ps - I’m selling that Vera Wang you picked (listed in the classifieds), I saw that same picture and fell in love with it. It was the first dress I tried on, and eventually the one I bought! (in between though, I tried on many, MANY others =)
Good luck!!!
I would say go and try some of them on. You can go with just one friend just to see what styles you like. As long as you have one trusted friend you don’t have to make a big deal and you can find out what looks good and what you like. If nothing else you can find out what you don’t like. It is actually better to go with only one or two people. If you bring to many people you may feel preasured to please everyone and your dress should reflect what you like, not necessarily your friends and family. Good luck
p.s. all your pictures look beautiful, but I really liked the back of the Quarry by Lela Rose. I think any of them would be a wonderful pick!
What size are you, I would sell you the Junko Yoshioka Cristina dress it si girgeouss, I loved mine, but I will never wear it again. 970-207-4094. call me if you are interested I am size 6.
Carrie
http://nyartists.org/silentauction/silentauction/silentauction
designer dresses up for auction
I am responding to the bride looking for the Melissa Sweet Tilda….We have a gorgeous Authentic Melissa Sweet Tilda Gown for sale! The lowest we can go on price would be $3,600 (the price includes tax!) This is a limited time offer for a gown that is in fabulous condition and retails for over $7,100 after tax! If you are seriously interested in purchasing this gown online you can email us at: AbigailAvaWedding@gmail.com
Please see our website at AbigailAvaWedding.com
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Mrs. Duckling, San Diego
Age and Occupation: 23, Psychology Grad Student, Youth Diversion Specialist/Marriage and Family Therapy Trainee and an Executive Assistant
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Marketing and PR Coordinator
Engagement Date: May 17, 2008
Wedding Date: September 2009
Venue: Rancho Bernardo Inn
About Me: I'm currently living in Orange County, but planning our wedding in my hometown of San Diego. We are a DIY wedding "2fer", as I'm the crafty one and Mr. Ducky is in charge of all of our graphic design and technical aspects. When not wedding planning or reading wedding blogs, I'm attending grad school and rotating between two different jobs to keep things exciting. My favorite things include shoes, Post-Its, Labrador Retrievers, traveling, psychology, delicious food, photography, reading, craft gadgets/supplies, and of course, my wonderful Mr. Ducky!
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