Wedding Blog

I’m so sorry for being MIA! I have so many things to blog about, and it’s all swimming around in my head. But I have been so busy with non-wedding related events that have been preventing me from finding the time to sit down and blog about everything that has been going on. I’ve also been trying to concentrate on losing weight before my last fitting next week (I forgot my camera for the first fitting, but I will definitely take pictures for my next one), ever since the woman who is altering my dress told me that she could not close the buttons on my dress, and recommended I lose a few pounds…. but in a nice way of course! Then about a week ago, on the day I had long reserved to spend catching up on everything, I woke up with neck spasms which left me pretty much immobilized for 4 days. Mr. Martini thinks that it was caused by stress, but I blame it on the new pillow that we got for free just a week before (more on that later). The funny thing is, after I got a nice little prescription of pain killers and muscle relaxants out of it, I have been pretty much stress-free.

So, about this dreaded pillow. Mr. Martini and I got this pillow for free with the purchase of our hanboks for our Paebek ceremony. A Paebek ceremony is a Korean tradition that symbolizes the welcoming of the bride into the groom’s family. It involves bowing to the groom’s family before they throw dates and chestnuts for the bride and groom to catch. The number of chestnuts (boys) or dates (girls) caught will determine the number of children the newlyweds will have.

Our mothers wanted to get a matching pair of hanboks to wear during the ceremony and cocktail hour (when the Paebek ceremony will take place), and then later change into dresses for the reception. As for Mr. Martini and me, we will only wear the hanboks for the duration of the Paebek ceremony, a total of about half an hour. We will probably never again in our lives wear them again, so we didn’t feel it was necessary to buy brand new hanboks for us, and thought of options to borrow or wear old ones. The Paebek gown (which is rented) is worn over the hanbok and hides most of it, so I really didn’t think it was a necessity, and preferred to spend the money on other things.

However, our moms insisted that we do it the “traditional” way, and purchasing hanboks for the wedding is part of the tradition of getting married.

My mom made the appointment for us to meet with a reputable hanbok designer in Flushing, NY. On the day of, Mr. Martini, our parents, and I decided to meet at Assi Plaza (a large Asian grocery store) first to shop, and then head over to the Hanbok store together. While we were at Assi Plaza, we noticed that there was a small Hanbok shop on the second level of the plaza. Since we were already there and had a few extra minutes before our appointment, we decided to take a quick look.

Don’t ask me how it happened, but in the end we ended up canceling our appointment and purchasing from this woman. To tell you the truth, I wasn’t feeling it and tried to convince my mom to keep our appointment and stick to the plan. But her prices were better and she was a sweet talker - she even threw in a free blanket and pillow.

All my life, I’ve admitted that my mom was always right. Countless times she has told me, “I told you so,” and I had nothing to say in return. After our experience with this woman, for the first time in my life I was able to say the words, “I told you so,” back to my mom, and she had nothing to say to me. It was glorious. Other than that small victory, we have had the absolute worst experience with this hanbok store.

To make a long story short, when my mom tried on her hanbok (which is the color pink since she is the mother of the bride), she realized that her sleeves were way too long and the fit was horrible. When she called to complain the woman told her that it was the “style” these days for “older” women, and that it is supposed to be worn bigger. But if that was the case, how would that explain the “tad too short” sleeves on my FMIL’s blue hanbok? After more than two weeks of constant phone calls and visits to the store, we eventually figured out that she had mixed up the measurements. The part that angered me was that she wouldn’t even apologize and did nothing to make up for her mistake. In the end, our mothers ended having to switch tops so that my mom would wear her pink skirt with a blue top, and my FMIL would wear the blue skirt with the pink top. But for the money we’ve spent on these hanboks, my mom has commented that she has never seen such poor quality hanboks in all of her life. She hated everything about it and completely regrets not keeping her appointment with the woman that was recommended to her. I thought to myself, well… at least we got a free pillow! And then I woke up one morning after using that free pillow with pain so bad that tears were streaming down my face. I can’t win.

Check out the short sleeves on my FMIL’s hanbok. I don’t have a picture of my mom’s hanbok because she wasn’t with us when we picked them up. We didn’t notice the sleeves until I brought her hanbok home and saw that her sleeves came down to her knuckles and the fit on the back was completely off.

Traditional shoes worn with the hanboks.