- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee Blog
Mr. Apple Cider and I have been together for 5 years and 5 months. We have been “apart” 3 long years and 5 grueling months. We haven’t lived in the same town/city since college, and the most consecutive time we have spent together since college has been around 10 days.
I will be honest and say that it has been tough. There have been ups and downs. We have had to learn to communicate, trust, believe, be patient (more me than him), and so much more.
my favorite postcard from Rarrar PressOur time together is always wonderful, and while we are apart we have had to explore different ways of communicating. When we only talked on the phone, we found it difficult to get into really in depth conversations every day. When you live together (which we never have) I think you communicate differently. You are able to talk about your day, current news, and issues. So, we had to find a way to do that being apart.
About 2 years ago we bought the book “All About Us” and agreed to do the book together, filling sections out and mailing the book back and forth. If you aren’t familiar with the book, basically each person answers questions about hopes, dreams, sex, daily routines, and more. You have to promise to be open and honest and to not hold back.
image from urban outfitters
image sourceOnce we completed the book, we wanted to continue communicating other than just through the phone, and we thought it might be fun to send questions back and forth through email. Every other day one of us would ask a question that we both had to answer.
Some of the questions we made up were:
Just before we got engaged we stopped asking the questions. Luckily, we have made a point to see each other more often since being engaged.
What have you and your fiance done to keep the communication fresh and alive?
This reminds me of “The Book of Questions,” something Mr. MagPie and I talked about frequently during our (very) early conversations — a great way to get to know the little things about someone!
We used to always end our emails with a question too 
The book sounds like a great idea!
I love rarrar press! We were in a craft fair together in Detroit.
Aaaw! I love it! What an awesome way to stay connected to each other even though you’re apart…
Same boat with us- sort of. We have been together for almost 5 years and apart for 4 1/2. We recently moved in together and I was suprised at how well we got along together because we had never really been together for longer than a couple of days. We used to call each other every night and talk for hours ad I used to write him a note every day and at the end of a week or two put a package of notes together to send out. He still has them and reads them whenever he needs a pick me up. Long distance relationships can definitely work if you put the work into it
My husband bought that book for me after we got engaged and we loved it! We were also long-distance for years and answered the questions together over the phone. We buy it for all our friends when they get engaged because we feel it can be beneficial for everyone. You really have to be honest if you intend on getting anything out of it. Great post, Miss Apple Cider!
OMG My FI and I are like relationship twins with you!! We’ve been apart for 75% of the time we’ve been together. We even bought the “All About Us” book too!! It is really difficult to communicate effectively when you’re in a LD realationship, but I think it’s brought us closer too because, as they say, “absence make the heart grow fonder.” Unlike previous relationships I’ve been in, it’s very true for my FI and me. We can’t wait til the next trip, the next chance to see each other.
We like to send clothes to each other. We’ll wear a t-shirt for a day, then send it home to the other one. When the “good smell” runs out we send it back. I love my FI-good-smelly-tshirt! It always makes me smile. 
I feel you on the long distance. We did 2 of our 3 years as long distance.
Towards the end, it was getting incredibly frustrating, so we started doing some of the work books.
Here’s the link:
http://www.longdistancerelationships.net/
We stressed communication, and put in a lot of hard work, but I feel like now that we are finally together, all that agony and work has really paid off. It’s been smooth sailing since!
We bought that book as well and love it!
Long distance is hard. We were apart for a year because he graduated before me. It was a hard year, so I can’t imagine doing 3+ apart. However, I think there is so much you can learn and so much strength you can build as a couple through that challenge. It will be so wonderful once you are married and get to see each other every day! You’ll be that much more thankful.
This is an adorable idea. Mr. HC and I have been together for 15 years, almost all of it long distance. We’re now 2 hours away from each other and it’s the closest we’ve ever lived from one another. Verizon is not going to be happy that we’re going to be finally living together in the same place next year.
my bf and i filled out that book too! we’re also in an ldr [almost four years and counting!] so we do what we can to keep the communication fresh. the past year we added video chats through skype to our repertoire of phone calls, IMs and texts which has been a godsend.
I like this book of questions idea! Mr. L and I have been in an LDR since the beginning fo our relationship so I feel you. We tried reading a book and discussing it..but that died quickly. We tried using Skype but both found it a bit awkward. This book sounds wonderful!
My BF and I have that book, too! I bought it for him for Valentine’s Day a couple of years ago… maybe it’s time to start filling it in again!
We were in a LDR, too– from the same hometown, but went to college 3 hours away from each other. Not nearly as bad as some other LDRs, but bad enough. Plus, we had the summers together. After trying IMing, e-mailng, webcamming, and a host of other communication media, we both realized that talking on the phone is best for us. We still talk on the phone at lunchtime just to see how the other’s day is going, and now we live together! It’s made a huge difference in our relationship, and the best thing I’ve ever done.
I love the other commenters’ suggestions of the packets of notes and “smelly shirts.” I stole a pair of his sweats, a sweatshirt, and a hat just so I could have his smell with me at school! (As gross as it sounds, the more he wears something, the better– his hat still smells like him, and he hasn’t worn it in 3 years!)
my bf and i were apart for 4 years, and i definitely held onto a few shirts of his for when i got lonely. each time i would visit him, i would exchange the shirt i had for a new one. i think having a ldr made us stronger and improved our communication with one another.
my FI and I have never been apart for more than a week… eee more than 2 days apart and I miss him too much … I wish I were strong enough (I’m such a baby). We have however signed up for pre-marital counseling, read books together, etc so we aren’t just wrapped in the moment of us but truly get to know one another
This sounds like a super fun book! I think I’m going to have to look around for this one. Thanks for sharing. We use to do something like this too, only sometimes it was over the phone and sometimes on the computer. I love the idea of writting the answers down. Cute
Ok first Mrs Apple Cider, I LOVE hearing about other LD fiancee’s!
Second, the moment I saw that Etsy postcard, before readnig the rest of your post, I clicked on the link and immediately purchased! I LOVE it (fi and I are separated by about 2200 miles…southern cali to chicago!)
That book looks great. We did something similar for our premarital counseling, but some of those questions got tedious. Your book just looks FUN!
@Miss Latte: we thought skype was awkward to. We’re much more of the texting a few times a day/talking every other day-ish type of couple!
Reading about other couples in a long distance relationship gives me the warm fuzzies! My fiance has been in the Air Force since we’ve been together. He’s from my hometown, and that’s where we’ll get married, but in the 2.3 years we’ve been together we’ve only spent weekends/weeks here and there together. Early in our relationship we constantly asked each other random questions, but that’s died down since then. We have another year apart before we get married (and for part of that he’ll be deployed), so THANK you for the book idea - I’m gonna head over to amazon and buy it today!
Mr. WW and I bought this book too, but unlike you we haven’t actually been consistent about writing in the book, but that may change now… We are newly long distance and it has been terrible… we see each other every other weekend, but it just gets a little tough… I can’t wait until we are back in the same city…
Thanks for the tips…
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Mrs. Apple Cider, New York/Charlotte Age and Occupation: 27, Corporate Communications Manager Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Grad Student – Clinical Mental Health Engagement Date: September 13, 2008 Wedding Date: October 2009 Venue: Banner Elk Winery & Blueberry Villa About Me: I am a North Carolina girl with a New York City spirit. I love crafting, blogging, laughing and dreaming. I know every word to the Anne of Green Gables and Little Women movies. I own every single Martha Stewart Wedding Magazine and have been dreaming of weddings since I was little. I believe life is about doing what makes you happy. If you aren't happy re-evaluate what you are doing. You should never look back on your life and not be proud of what you are doing. If you want to travel - travel. If you want to sing - sing. If you want to start a company - start a company. If you want to blog – blog!
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 29 | 30 | 31 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
| 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |
| 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 |
| 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 |
Latest Gallery Pics