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Why do I feel compelled to point out these fabulous weddings? They’re sometimes referred to as “budget” or “DIY” weddings, and while I feel that those terms should be a source of pride, I think they’re often seen as second-tier weddings. I saw this thread on the boards and I was mildly miffed about the part where the colleague said he couldn’t afford a wedding.
Why does this miff me? Though I have my sneaking suspicions that his excuse was exactly that: an excuse, I wanted to address it from my heart. Weddings are about marriage, and if you and your partner want to be married, then cost shouldn’t hold you back. I know that it often feels like we need a dove release, a 10 tier cake, designer gowns, Manolo Blahniks, peonies, and the like. Those aren’t needs, they’re wants, and this should be the message we all keep in our heads when we start to get overwhelmed.
These weddings are at courthouses, backyards, restaurants, and other beautiful venues. I know it isn’t everyone’s dream to be married at one of these venues, but should we rule it out? I think the saving grace for Mr. D and I has been to set a budget and to create the wedding within it. If we started creating the wedding before the budget, I would have easily been heartbroken over things like peonies and Monique Lhuillier gowns.
(cannot get enough of her blog)
You want more “budget” or “DIY” wedding porn? Click those links. This is my favorite “budget” backyard wedding. These guys had a fabulous $2,000 wedding. Mrs. Tulip also makes a great point about a “budget” wedding.
Who am I to be discussing this? Our budget began at a certain number, and grew by a couple thousand dollars due to tent rentals. (What is UP with tent rentals?!) It has since shrunk further because of the falling exchange rate. Such is life, as our budget shrinks, so will our plans. Beer and wine instead of an alcohol free-for-all? So be it. I have to do my own makeup? So be it. The smaller guest list has been painful yet necessary, and I never realized how large my family is. I hope my friends understand that if there is lack of an invitation, it doesn’t mean there is a lack of love or friendship.
I’m the kind of girl who refused to try on dresses that cost more than my budget allowed. I’ve made purchasing mistakes, and embossing our own invitations cost us more than we would of liked. It happens. I’m not going to beat myself up about it, but I am going to go to the thrift store and find ways to save money. Whatever happens, we’ve all agreed not to go into any sort of credit card debt for this soirée, and we’re not taking out any loans or dipping into the down payment we have saved for a home.
Am I saying we ALL should have budget weddings? Nope, I’m saying that we should have the kind of weddings we can have. I don’t wear my size 6 jeans anymore because they don’t fit, nor do I wear my size 14s, because they don’t fit either. I think it’s important to have a wedding that fits you.
What do you think?
Great post, and I think it’s good to call out that it’s OKAY to scale back on things if need be. Sometimes I think we begin to feel guilty about not doing certain things (what will people say if I don’t have custom cocktails and a designer gown? Heaven forbid.)
In Chicago people talk about doing a wedding on the cheap side for $30,000 (gasp!). I’m trying to pull off a wedding for just over half of that (yes, we started at 15K and have slowly worked our way up, sigh). I couldn’t even imagine if I had $30,000 to have fun with for this wedding!
So important to keep your priorities straight, focus on the elements that are most important to you and the Mr. and be flexible on elements that aren’t as important. Oh and like you said, don’t fall in love with a dress three times your budget 
Right on, Lady! Our wedding is currently holding at about $8500 and I think it will still be a fabulous affair! We still have struggles (cutting the guest list is a current issue) and it may not be the most extravagant affair, but at the end of the day, we will be just as married as anyone else, and I think we will have a lovely time!
Great post! I completely agree about having a wedding that fits you and your budget. Of course, I would love to have a huge, elaborate affair filled with fresh flowers, string quartets and the finest food, but that’s just not a reality for my situation. Does that make my wedding invalid? No. In the same regard, I don’t think it’s a bad thing for people to have all of these fancy things if they can afford it, I just don’t see anything wrong with having the “budget-friendly” options as well. You can live in an elaborate house, but that doesn’t make it a home. Same goes for weddings, regardless if they are elaborate, budget or somewhere in between—the wedding doesn’t make the marriage.
Thank you for posting this! I couldn’t agree with you more! I sometimes feel down about not being able to afford an extravagant wedding, but then I remind myself that going into debt just to have a few extra “wants” is totally not worth it. Scaling back is allowing us to focus on the things that are really important to have at our wedding rather than the things we feel we must have to be trendy or stylish. Besides, I would much rather invest in my MARRIAGE.
I can’t agree with you more! Personal and meaningful doesn’t have to mean flashy and expensive! It should be you!!! And I don’t think that correlates with a price tag! You’re absolutely right, D!
I was proud of us- we set our budget first, before we began to think about anything else. It really helps keep expectations in line- I’ve never thought I “needed” “a dove release, a 10 tier cake, designer gowns, Manolo Blahniks, peonies, and the like”.
Thanks for the great post! Just last night I had a mini meltdown about the budget. My FI looked at me and said “At the end of the day I want to marry you.” If we all keep that in mind we will be better for it. And thanks to Weddingbee and the wonderful ladies who post and blog we can have custom aisle runners and beautiful centerpieces, you just have to know how to DIY!
well put & I totally agree. We are having a backyard wedding at my parent’s and have cut out our Vegas ceremony because that extra money was needed elsewhere. I love the links you gave, those are my 2 favorite blogs besides WB
These weddings ARE fantastic! They are so personal and just all about the couple - which is how it SHOULD be!
I totally agree with you, Miss D. We just had our wedding last saturday (v-day!). It was awesome! It’s a potluck reception, so our relatives brought something. We have 2 photographers, and a videographer. All for free. I found one of the photographers online. We made our own invitations, decorated the backyard. Our friends decorated the church. We got 3 cakes! One of then is a 3-layer chocolate cake…All were gifts from friends. Our biggest expense is my BCBG dress and his Express Tuxedo. Our total expenses? Less than $2,000! we have no debt, didn’t use credit cards. We got cash, gift cards, and cheques as gifts. So now we have some savings in the bank.
The party was a hit. The wedding started at 1pm and ended at 2am. You just need to be creative and patient to have a wonderful wedding. In the end, it’s the fun and memorable times you have with your family and friends that counts.
I love the yellow dress, the bouquet with the touches of yellow in it, and his yellow touches as they come down the steps from the courthouse!
Style does not have to mean EXPENSIVE or extravagant! Good taste is free!
Love all these wonderful pictures!
My fiance just found out that his department will be cut in one to 5 months. Our wedding is in 4. The very first thing he said to me was “don’t worry honey, i’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you have the wedding of your dreams.” I looked at him and said then follow me to the courthouse because the wedding of my dreams is about marrying you and becoming your wife. It’s not about the peonies, or table runners, or even the food. We will do what we can, but at the end of the day, if i’m your wife, my dreams will have come true.
Well said! Our wedding budget is shrinking too. We are afraid that Mr PK may get laid off, so we are saving more money towards a saftey net then a wedding right now.
A wedding is the celebration of the beginning of a marriage, and a marriage is two people coming together. Beyond that there is nothing that is necessary unless we deem it so. Loved your post.
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Mrs. D'orsay, Baltimore/Lancaster UK Age and Occupation: 24, nonprofit communications Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Web site developer and designer; co-owner of men's skincare shop Engagement Date: August 10, 2008 Wedding Date: August, 2009 Venue: Oakland Manor About Me: I'm a Maryland raised environmental policy wonk/activist/organizer and communications aficionado. In the past year I've lived in Baltimore, MD, Tucson, AZ, Miami, FL and Lancaster, England. In my not so spare time I enjoy planning trips with Mr. D' Orsay, visiting friends and family and crafting like a mo-fo. I also enjoy modern dance classes, rugby and soccer but have been banned by my mother, MOHs, and Mr. D' Orsay from playing till after the wedding. I have an unnatural addiction to cheese and shoes, but love Mr. D' Orsay more than either and can't wait to become Mrs. D' Orsay!
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