Wedding Blog

This is the true story of six bridesmaids picked to ride in a limo, watch Beyoncé shake her booty, and have their lives photographed. To find out what happens when bridesmaids stop being polite, and start getting sassy, click the “read more” link!

My dad decided to surprise us by having a limo waiting outside to take us to the museum… I must admit, it was much more swanky than trying to hail a taxi. We decided to do a cheesy, impromptu limo photo shoot (just imagine my dad standing there in his floral pattered shirt and fanny pack, puppy-dog-pouting for us to take some photos by the limo).

At first we tried to pose formally, but I don’t think any of us were feeling it.

Which resulted in us spontaneously doing the fake “Oh my goodness, how splendid! Let’s all pretend to laugh at nothing and then laugh at ourselves for laughing at nothing!” pose.

There were definitely some genuine giggles in this one. Oh, bridesmaids, you so crazayyy.

This is one of my favorite photos from the entire day because it shows off my sheer sexiness. I mean, come on, who wouldn’t want to smooch those vajayjayesque lips? I know Tyra Banks would! I am, of course, totally kidding. I realize I look like I’ve been hitting the paste a bit too hard.

all gifs provided by the supafabulous Rich of fourfour

I’d like to point out how I had no idea how to hold my lovely clutch while getting my photo taken, so I basically held it like a little hamster grasping a yogurt drop. I probably should’ve practiced holding it in the mirror to look more ladylike, but oh well!

It was definitely nice to not have to worry about questionable stains getting all up on my dress in a taxi! Plus, I’m pretty sure the gals had a good time, and that’s all that really matters to me.

My brother refused to leave without his Dunkin’ Donuts coffee. He and his wife even left their own wedding for a while so they could fetch themselves some tasty DD deliciousness!

This is my I’m-about-to-bust-out-and-start-cackling-at-my-brother-being-funny face, which also resembles my I-look-like-a-constipated-woodchuck expression.

This is my brother’s wifey, one of my main squeezes, who was getting prettified during the limo photo shoot (or perhaps just avoiding us crazies).

And no, I didn’t not request that the lighting in our limo match our blue & brown color scheme. The wedding world just works in mysterious ways!

We were staring at concert footage of Beyoncé, who was trying her best to do a rendition of Shakira’s hip-shaking dance moves, but she was sort of resembling a Sasha-not-so-fierce flailing fish.

My brother was the only guy in the bunch and didn’t seem to mind the complimentary Beyoncé booty-shaking experience. Here he is showing off his new ink, which I helped him design a wee bit.

The groomsmen seemed to love the Chucks we gave them to match their ensemble. I thought they were a nice way to incorporate their personalities into the attire—Mr. Candy Corn’s dad even ended up sporting all-black Converse shoes for the big day.

After circling around Center City a few times (my dad insisted that the limo driver chauffeur us around Philadelphia for a bit so we could get “the full experience”), we pulled up to the University of Pennsylvania campus, right near the entrance of the UPenn Museum.

I was stoked that the gals were carrying the bags I had given them as part of their bridal party thank you gifts.

As you may be able to tell, we really lucked out with some gorgeous weather on our wedding day! It’s rare that it’s in the mid 70s and sunny in Philadelphia in the middle of October (although, some might argue that “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” har har).

I am not used to walking in heels of any sort, so trying to conduct myself in a modest manner while walking on this cobblestone pathway was (pardon my French) a right royal bitch! We managed to get to the entrance without a torn pantyhose in sight, thank goodness (not that I was wearing any pantyhose, but still!).

That’s all for now, folks. Next up: The guys get ready at the museum!

All photos by mah guuurl, Laura Kicey.

Our Candy Corny Lovefest: The Bachelorette Party (Rated PG-13 For Brief Chocolate Nudity)
Our Candy Corny Lovefest: Our Rehearsal Dinner (The Last Supper As A Single Lady!)
Our Candy Corny Lovefest: Bridal Bouffants and Blushing Bridesmaids and Boobie Grabbing! Oh, My!
Our Candy Corny Lovefest: The Girlies Get Gussied Up