Wedding Blog
I was having a conversation with my brother the other day about weddings, and he commented on how expensive it is to get married. I completely agreed - and also noticed that although it seemed as though everything else has been affected by the economy these days, the wedding industry seems barely affected, if at all.
My brother then joked, “Well, it’s because of brides that allow the wedding industry to remain untouchable! You are making it untouchable!”
I thought about that for a second, and realized it was probably true. Yes, we’ve cut down on as much as we could, but we’ve (okay fine - I’ve) also tried to justify a lot of our spending because it was “wedding spending”. Would I ever spend a few hundred dollars on a cake? Never! Would I spend a few hundred dollars on specially made groom’s cake because it’s for the wedding and I will never ever again have the chance to have a cake like that for this occasion in my life? After just 15 minutes of mental struggle, I forked up my checkbook.
Wedding spending is a pretty big topic of conversation between Mr. Martini and I. Both of our jobs are largely based on commissions and bonuses, so I would be lying if I said it hasn’t been tough.
Mr. Martini is also in finance, so he is definitely feeling the pinch. I’m glad for the fact that he has a very logical and calculating personality, and is very specific with our budget, because although I don’t spend extravagantly, I admit that I tend to overlook the price tag because it’s “for the wedding”. It’s been tough realizing how tight we actually are with paying for everything, with just over a month to go!
Mr. Martini sent me an interesting article this morning, and I thought I’d share it with Weddingbee. When I read it I couldn’t help feeling a little humbled, but also inspired at the same time. I will be the first person to say that it’s tough not to let the wedding go over my head, and I will admit I’ve had a hard time letting go of some of the things we weren’t able to have. Sometimes I have to take a step back and realize that it’s not about the wedding - it’s about the marriage! We both do realize that when it comes down to it, the most important part of the big day is the fact that we are getting married.
Whether or not we have the more expensive orchids, upgraded table linens, or that photobooth we always wanted, it will still be the greatest day of our lives.
How has the recession affected your wedding? Or has it affected it at all? Do you think that the demand for wedding “extras” will cause prices to drop dramatically, or do you think the wedding industry is somewhat recession-proof?
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Share this post: Planning a Wedding During the Recession
Wow…thank you for that article (both your post and the one your FI sent you). I think I need to read posts like this every once in a while to remind me that I need to focus on the fact that we will be surrounded by our friends and loved ones and not on the more expensive details. And yes, I’m still holding out hope that this recession will lower some “wedding prices!”
I agree that, by and large, the wedding industry is recession-proof. People seem willing (and most, able!) to justify spending for a once-in-a-lifetime event. Interesting post!
I know that many of my vendors have mentioned that they have less business than usual. Our cake vendor mentioned that more people are going to the supermarket for wedding cakes instead of hiring a baker.
I think that the expensive vendors are seeing a drop in business and that the economical vendors are seeing a slight increase.
I am totally shocked at the amount of money people spend on weddings. Both me and my significant other are professionals and make a really nice salary between the two of us. We own a modest home. HOWEVER, we are struggling to figure out how we’d pay for the wedding. His culture does not expect parents to help out, so they probably wouldn’t. My parents aren’t in a position to help. We just have no idea how to afford the “average” wedding with housing costs/repairs, and regular expenses.
I just don’t see how people have thousands of $$ lying around. If I did, I can’t imagine spending it all on a wedding. As much as I’d like nice things, that seems wasteful. I think weddings are getting a bit ridiculous in cost.
I agree with both Nicole and MagPie…
As a whole, I don’t see the wedding industry being largely effected by the recession.
However, Nicole has it right…those overpriced and higher-end vendors will probably see their business rescind a little. Most couples are now looking to get the most bang for their buck.
Both we and our parents, have taken a hard hit because of the economy. Because the guilt we have spending their hard-earned money on the wedding, we have decided to pay everything for our wedding. Outside of pretty nice venues, Holy Trinity Catholic Church and the Irvings Arts Center, we are saving in every way possible!
My biggest money-saver so far has been (a little embarassing, but it’s working!) to purchase the place-settings that we are going to use–all 200 of them, and I have started to rent them (inexpensively) to other DIY brides. It has saved us money because:
1. It was cheaper to buy them than to rent them, can you believe that!?!
2. The money I have made from the rentals has paid for the place-settings themselves, the DJ, and the photographer so far! That’s a savings of about $4000 for us.
We can still have the weddings we want, it just takes alot more creativity and work for some of us!
The biggest thing I have seen change is the pricing of everything. I’m no pro, but I don’t see why venues and vendors are raising prices right now! We booked our reception site about a year ago, and a friend was looking into the same location last week and the price had almost doubled!
I know I am looking into other options as well. When we got engaged a year ago, our budget seemed flexible, but now we are sticking very close to our number!
@Sol: that’s not embarassing at all! i think that’s a great idea and i’m glad it’s been working for you!
I love this post and thanks for sharing this article. It helps to keep things in perspective!!!
Lol, thanks! Running a rental business out of our living room has definitely been crazy, but well-worth it. It has also given me chance to meet other Dallas brides in the same boat, it’s great to be able to exchange advice and tips.
It’s also a small way to fight the wedding industry’s skyrocketing prices and the pressure placed upon us to pay for things that we really shouldn’t spend our money on in this economy. When it really comes down to it, the most important part is marrying our wonderful fiancees–the rest is just icing the cake. No pun intended.
I’m with you. Every dollar we spend on the edding-way (I try to never use the phrase “the wedding” because for me, it makes it seem like a big ol’ event instead of, well, whatever) ticks me off lately.
Shouldn’t that go into our emergency fund? We could be paying down the mortgage! Or buying a new refrigerator. Heck, for the cost of the tent alone, we could buy a rather cool refrigerator, and use it for YEARS instead of just one day.
Ugg. So I feel ya.
On the other hand, some thing remain sacred, and celebrating a great milestone is one of them. Sure, you can cut back, but at some point, you have to feed people and costs only go so low.
Thanks so much for posting that article. I’ve been having a hard time today because I just got the estimate from the florist and I’m going to have to trim my budget elsewhere if I decide flowers are that important to me! It helps to know that I’m not the only one trying to have a beautiful wedding for about $5,000.
My co-worker and I were just talking about this…she said she can’t understand why anyone would spend more than $100 on a wedding. She thinks anything over $5000 is extravagant. (She is also single and probably has no idea what the dress alone costs!!) I love the article, very humbling. Thanks for sharing!!
Budget is on my mind, every single day! And I won’t lie, it has expanded significantly from where I started 
Still not excrutiating, but we are putting a little more into this than we’d thought at the start.
But one of the BEST things I did was have a 1 1/2 year engagement. I reccomend a long engagement to everyone. You can book your vendor well in advance and often lock in lower prices before the hike up their rates the following year. By booking early you’re also able to budget more effectively because you know what the bottom line will be.
I’m the kind of girl who likes to start buying Christmas presents in October to ease the financial budget by spreading it out. The same has been true for my wedding. By buying bits and pieces here and there I’ve significantly downsized the money I’ll be spending right before my wedding. AND because time is on your side, you don’t feel pressured to make snap (expensive!) decisions that you might make on a short timeframe.
Thanks for posting this. It’s very helpful knowing my thoughts regarding weddings are planning are also flowing through the minds of other brides-to-be…
This post def hits home. My parents are missionaries and his parents are split so.. we’re paying for the wedding ourselves (parents are def helping out!). It’s so hard.. I keep going back and forth between the idea that we’re being careless during these times and splurging on most things and then also telling myself it’s an important date and I’d like the best for my family and friends. We’re both in finance so our jobs aren’t the most reliable right now… but what to do =(
The state of the economy has definitely put us on alert. While we have saved for the wedding cost and will be paying for everything in cash, we have scaled back on some things in anticipation of further economic decline. That being said, I still splurged on some things.
While I think wedding-related “extras” should be affected by the recession, I don’t think they will be because so many brides (myself included) just term it “a wedding expense” and deal with it. We are definitely sticking very close to our budget!
Ditto Ms. Stiletto on the long engagement. Ours was just under 1 1/2 years and it was a very relaxing planning process. There was no rush to make decisions and we have taken a lot of time to think over purchases as well as budget for them. It’s been a lot less stressful budget wise. However, that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped freaking out!
@Sol: Hi! I’m very impressed with your rental of the dishes. I had thought about buying ours as well as I see the catering proposals come in… I’m curious - what style did you buy? I was thinking about buying plain white IKEA for a brunch buffet reception. I’m wondering if they would rent or resell well….
Thanks!
I’m getting married in October of 2010 - and this is greatly so I can save enough money to have the exact wedding that I want.
I have been lucky to not have been affected too much by the recession - I have a job, the boyfriend got a raise this year, and we are pretty comfortable financially.
Where I do feel it is with my own wedding business as a wedding officiant - couples are a bit more hesitant to commit to my fees, and I have found that a professional officiant is often one of the first things to go in a budget (especially when you live in a state where internet ministers are legally recognized). Personally, I was hoping to quit my desk job and do the Celebrant thing full time this year, but I just can’t make that happen. It’s hard on the vendors, too.
The fact is that there are certain life events that just happen when they happen regardless of the economy. None of us actually chose to get married in a recession, but that’s what’s happening, and we’ll just have to do the best we can.
Not that I’m suggesting that anyone should spend more on their wedding than they can afford … but that is true at any time, and with any budget.
i think the wedding industry is pretty much recession-proof. people will always be getting married and interestingly enough i know of a TON of people getting married in 2009. doesn’t look like the economic situation is affecting the rate of proposals. perhaps some ppl are spending a little less… which is still a lot.
I bet you could get at least 1/2 the value back if you want to resell–craigslist is the best place to look and sell. I got my 11″ plates at garden ridge for 50 cents each, that is less than half of renting them from anywhere really. The wine glasses are at Target, a dozen for 9.99. It’s something to think about if you’re willing to do the work.
I agree completely. Our budget is $7K flat - we are paying for it ourselves as my parents simply don’t have the money.
There are so many ways to be creative that I wouldn’t have thought of otherwise . . . we are having a fondue reception (cheese & chocolate fondue and a coffee bar), and I am just not giving flowers to every single person who is the least little bit involved in the wedding (i.e., the cake cutting person).
Our engagement isn’t long (six months), and my FH is finishing up school due to a tour of duty in Iraq, so the financial burden has been squarely on my shoulders to save $7K in 6-8 months . . . putting 30-40% of my paycheck in savings each month.
And girls, last night we looked at our finances, and I actually think I am going to be able to pull it off! WOOT!
It’s been hard skipping out on the Starbucks and slaving away over the grocery coupons and sales ads. . . but what a feeling of accomplishment! I think this wedding will mean more to us than a grandiose affair paid for by someone else
I’m er, frugal by nature even before the wedding. I pride myself in getting the best deals and my wedding is no different. We set a $5,000 budget and now that we actually now KNOW the costs of things, the total cost is only $2300. We’re not hiring the number 1 caterer/photographer/etc in town, but family friends that know us and will do it right because they care about us.
I just think, when I look at my mom’s wedding album, the last thing on my mind is how much things cost or whether she had the best cake or whatever. The only thing I think of is how grateful I am to be able to get a glimpse of what their wedding day was like.
what a great story! (the link Mr. Martini sent you)
I’ve been blessed to not HAVe to minimize our budget because of the economy but we’re starting with a small budget to begin with.
I was of the “it’s just one day; there’s no need to go broke over ONE DAY” camp back before the bubble sort of burst (we started out aiming for less than 10,000 in a big city), and the recession has only strengthened our belief that as long as we’re in love and married, nothing else is important.
I was just having this discussion… I don’t think that it will change because brides will continue to “Splurge” on their day. I hope that one day it will be come more reasonable but, until then we will all have to be DIY brides to save money.
I would say the recession has actually helped me with our wedding… we are able to afford a the band of our dreams b/c they’ve dropped their price b/c of the recession. There are a few things we’re not doing, but I don’t think it is b/c of the recession, its b/c we just don’t NEED them and we’d rather have the money to buy a place.
Thanks for the link, that is a great story
We were always going to pay for it ourselves and since I’ve always had a hard time throwing money around, I would probably not have paid top dollar for anything even in the best of times. For me, the recession is actually taking a lot of pressure off to go all out. I hate to say it, but I kind of appreciate the fact that everyone understands the desire to cut back right now, where as a year ago I feel like I would have been more judged for it.
I have also seen prices go down for a few things. For example, when I look at all the emails vendors send out, I’ve been seeing the rates for various things go down every couple weeks, with more and more promotions and freebees. I don’t know whether this is the economy or just the regular course of the wedding season, maybe a skimming price tactic where they start high for all those new January couples, then lower as summer approaches?
Thank you for this post! My Dad is an independent contractor and he has had a very hard time finding work. So much so that the few jobs he actually has done has put him in the red just to pay his fuel bills, etc. My fiance and I are only employed part-time and we will just be graduating with our degrees in May.
My parents really want to perform their “expected” roles and pay for the wedding as the parents of the bride. I know, however, that this is impossible. So, our entire wedding concept has changed. We have been together for more than six years and engaged for over a year. The wedding is unrecognizable from my early plans.
Similar to some of the brides in the article, I will only be inviting immediate family. It will be intimate and we will just have a dinner afterwords. My wedding is on a Sunday and we will host a tailgate the day before to include some of our friends in our “wedding festivities.” Our only big wedding expenses are an amazing photographer and our honeymoon. Mrs. Pineapple is creating my announcements to send to our family after the fact. I will DIY all my own flowers. I am buying a few containers that we will put our bouquets into to repurpose them as centerpieces at the reception. Our cake will be less than $100 because it is so small. My “bolero” is now a white cropped sweater that cost $30.
Minimal and modest is my new wedding theme!
It’s so true…..people save on everything else right now except on their wedding…the recession hasn’t affected ME personally (although the soon to be Mr. is an electrician so it’s KINDA affected him…but not too badly yet since we are in Vancouver and the olyimpics are coming up)…I work in education and the pay will always be the same and I’m pretty much always will have a job…and I’m starting up a wedding invitation buisness so actually this article has relieved me because I was worried that business will be bad.
I’m guilty of often forgetting that our day…July 11,2009 will be the most memoriable day for us….no matter what it costed. Years from now we’ll still be looking back at this day but I highly doubt we’ll be saying things like…’the costs of this and that…’ but rather…’it was one of the best days of our lives!’
I can tell you from a wedding vendors standpoint …… yes ….. it’s been a down year ( sept.08-now is the timeframe I’m referring to ).
For me , it just means some small changes.
I lowered my prices about 10% to stay competetive.
Brides are booking than smaller packages more than they used to ect.
I’m thankful for my clients who refer me because I’ve done ok for working during a recession !
Amanda
http://www.bayarea-wedding-photography.com
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Mrs. Martini, New Jersey
Age and Occupation: 30, Telecom by day, Superhero by night
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Investments & Finance by day, Hip hop dancer by night
Engagement Date: May 24, 2008
Wedding Date: March, 2009
Blogging Since: August 18, 2008
Venue: The Venetian
About Me: Things that make me happy: Haribo Happy Cola gummies, TV shows on DVD, buying books although I never read them, 80’s rock ballads, ramen, and of course Mr. Martini! He is the calm, logical and number crunching finance guy. I can’t even multiply double digit numbers in my head and I am so indecisive that trying to choose between light green or slightly lighter green paper stresses me out (Wedding planning is going to be soooo much fun). We both find great joy in nabbing great seats at the movie theater for a blockbuster movie on opening weekend, and we are both absolutely crazy about snowboarding. And he loves to cook, I love to eat!
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