Wedding Blog
Hi, Hive, it’s been a bad week. This is a pretty difficult post for me to write. I am hoping it will help me find some closure, as well as letting you know why I won’t be able to write here much longer on Weddingbee.
I busted Mr. Dragon for a full on affair. Not kissing, not emotional… it was a full-on affair with all of the ugly asides. Lying, hiding, everything. I console myself with the fact that I know I had nothing to do with it.
There is no subtle or nice way to say it. I found out the way you always find out - through the phone bill. Through many layers of lies, I was finally able to get him to come clean enough to know that I no longer want to spend my life with him, because I don’t recognize him anymore. He is not at all who I thought he was.
I will be honest - I am devastated. That word exactly captures how I feel. After thinking about it, I know that he will never be capable of loving me the way I love him. He will never be unselfish the way I was in staying with him through our relationship’s many ups and downs and his many other mistakes. He doesn’t have what it takes to be a good husband or father, and I thank God every second that I found out about the affair. I have successfully dodged the biggest bullet of my life. All I have to do is think about my parents and how much they love each other and would never treat each other the way he has treated me. It took exactly that long to realize that I deserve better.
I was humiliated and embarrassed for exactly four hours. Then the fog cleared and I realized that this is not my fault, and it actually has nothing to do with me. He had an affair because he has major emotional problems. “She” went along with it because she is young, insecure, not-too-bright, and semi-delusional (who hates herself that much that she will sleep with a guy that is asking his girlfriend’s father to marry him and then also while he is proposing to her?). “She” clearly has many issues of her own.
So I am losing all of my wedding deposits and will have to pay a lot of penalties, but it is worth it to me. All of that lost money is going to buy me the rest of my life. And the rest of my life will be spent being happy, whether a shiny, new and improved Mr. Dragon arrives or not. If I do choose a new Mr. Dragon, he is going to be someone I can respect and trust, someone who can be my partner, rather than my ball and chain. Most importantly, he will be someone who loves me the way that a husband should love his wife.
I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I am hopeful. I finally feel free. My gut had been telling me that something was wrong, and I was right. Now I don’t have to worry about that any more.
I will have two more posts for you Bees. I have been slaving over my useless invitations, but I am going to show them to you in a separate post. They are unfinished, but you get the general idea. They were a labor of love, and somebody ought to appreciate them!!! My last post will arrive in July, after I go on my honeymoon with my beloved sister. I am extremely grateful that the travel agency let me change the name on the tickets so that I can enjoy my trip with somebody who truly loves me.
I just want you all to know that I am so grateful that I was able to get to know so many of you. Thank you to Mrs. Bee, Pengy, and the Bees for helping me through what has been one of the most difficult times of my life. He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named and I were together for over four years, so this feels a lot like a divorce to me. I thank God every second that I found out about the affair now, and not a few years from now when I might be pregnant, with a mortgage. I am lucky.
Much Love,
Ms. Snap (and I AM Snappy!)
P.S. If any of you want to take over my June wedding date at The Hyatt Lodge in Oak Brook, IL… let me know ASAP and I will hook a sista’ up!!
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Share this post: Dodging the Biggest Bullet of My Life
Big hugs to you.
My heart breaks for you. But as a family law attorney, I could not agree with your statement more, that you dodged the biggest bullet of your life. Stay strong, and keep your right perspective. Your demeanor in light of all this is truly inspiring. Enjoy that honeymoon with your sister!
wow. your honesty and maturity through such an unbelievably difficult time is really admirable. wish you the best, ms. snap 
There are no words, all I can say is good luck and I’ll miss seeing you around the hive.
WOW….so sorry…but you are awesome - you see this the way that you should.
It really is a blessing for you to have found out NOW. Best of luck to you - don’t ever settle !
Oh Ms. Snap…I’m sorry. But you are right that you are lucky to find this out now, and that there is someone who will love and respect that love the way you deserve. My heart is really hurting for you and I will DEFINITELY miss your sense of humor on Weddingbee. It would be great if you could leave us your personal blog, if you’d like.
Wow. I am so glad you found out NOW instead of later.
You are totally doing the right thing and I’m glad to hear you are going on your “honeymoon” with your sister!
You guys will have a fabulous time together, I’m sure.
Best of luck you to in the future!
Good Luck and Many Blessings….
I applaud your fantastic attitude! I can only imagine this is an extremely hard time, but thank the Lord for revealing this before you married him!
Take care and stay strong, since you clearly already have a smart head on your shoulders.
*BIG CYBER HUG*
O M G
(deep breath)
I am SO sorry to hear this! I wish I had the perfect thing to say but hopfully other readers will have inspirational stories to share. Best of luck to you and your future.
Awww, hugs. I’m so sorry he turned out to be such a DRAGON, but like you said, it’s best you found out before the wedding! I’ll miss your Snappy voice and writing!
Oh, Ms. Snap! I admire your strength and perspective. Best wishes!!!!!
i am so sorry this happened.
I don’t know what to say.
Best of luck to you and you will be missed here on Wedding bee!
I am so so sorry. I don’t even know what to say. You are such a beautiful person and I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your posts here. Know that you will find love again with some one who respects you. Again, you have an entire community backing you, Snappy. Stay strong, we’re here for you.
I am so sorry to hear about all of this! I LOVED reading your posts. You deserve so much better and someone that can truly love you for who you are. Wish you all the best.
I am so, so sorry Snap. My heart goes out to you… please let me know if you need anything. You are an amazing, talented, beautiful woman, and you deserve nothing but the best.
Your attitude and outlook are really inspiring. Many kudos to you on your courage and strength.
I’m so sorry this happened, but I definitely agree that this is all better in the end. You deserve a love that is given to you and you alone.
I am speechless and heartbroken for you, but I am so glad that you are taking the highroad and view your glass of life as half full. You deserve the best and he is out there somewhere. Have a great time on your sister-moon! *hugs*
I’m so sorry. This may not sound like much of a comfort, but I’m sure you have the support of Weddingbee readers who wish you nothing but the best. Keep up the positive attitude!
You are one classy lady. You have your head on straight. Wishing you the best. And because you have too much class to say it, I will, he’s a skumbucket!
Oh my goodness, I am so extremely sorry to hear this. And I’m not even sure what to say b/c I’ve never been in a situation like this, but I know that you are a strong woman and you will get through this and be stronger and better on the other side. Cling to your friends and famliy through a time like this; they will help you.
~many hugs & much love~
so sorry! hugs!
**SNAPS** to you for being able to see the silver lining. This is a blessing in disguise. Much love to you!!
Holy Shit! Mad props to your totally fantastic attitude! And screw him, he obviously didn’t deserve your wonderful self! Keep us posted on your journey. And HAVE FUN with your sister!
Your strength and poise are so admirable– you are an incredible person and I’m glad you are free to find the life and mate you truly deserve– someone who respects and loves you to the fullest. Know that you will always have the full support of the Hive and if there is anything any of us can do to help you, let us know!
I completely utterly agree with you. I’m so mad at He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named but excited for your new life. I will keep you in my prayers. Thanks for sharing your experience until now with us, teaching us what to eat, how to do DIY projects, etc. Have a fabulous time on your honeymoon 
oh, that is never a fun thing to find out! I applaud how you seem to be taking it in stride and with clearheadedness. You will find someone better!
Wow. Be glad you will not be his wife. What a jerk. Hugs and good luck to you!
I am so sorry about what you’re going through. Your outlook is so positive, and I hope it stays that way.
I look forward to hearing about the awesome time you have on your vacation and will be thinking of you and wishing you well!
there really aren’t any words. your post shows great courage, strength, and of course intelligence. hats off to you, Snappy. sending lots of hugs your way.
I’ve always believed that Everything happens for a reason. This was not the man you were supposed to be with. One day your prince we come. I wish you nothing but the best in the future
i am sending as many happy thoughts and wishes as i can to you. you are obviously a tremendous strong woman and you deserve a man who can give you the world. best wishes to you.
Your refreshingly healthy outlook is absolutely inspiring, and your great sense of humor is an asset in a time of crisis. I wish you nothing but the most wonderful things ahead, and you will emerge stronger and meet the person you deserve to be with. He is out there, believe me.
Hold your head high. You have such perspective and we all thank you for sharing so much. Best wishes!
Snappy, big hugs to you - have a wonderful vacation in July with your sister, we’ll be thinking about you!
oh miss snap! wishing you thousands of happy thoughts. if ur able to transfer any of your other vendors, please PM me. i have a couple friends getting married in may and july.
YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION. YOU GO, STRONG WOMAN!!!!
I’m not really sure what to say…I wish you all the best and at least you can look at the situation and still be strong. Best of luck to you. I will miss reading your posts.
Wow between you and Ms. Fondue…I can’t believe this. You two are amazing women and I can’t imagine what you were feeling. Best wishes!
Oh, Ms. Snappy. I’m very sorry to see you go, but I’m also glad to see that you’re the kind of person who’s able to see the positive in a really crappy situation - especially that you have such a fantastic support network!
You’re by far one of my favorite Bees here. I’m sending positive vibrations toward Chicago for you.
I want to give you a big hug! You’re a strong woman. I know you’ll be just fine because life has so much more to offer you.
Look at all the support and love you have here, we’re with you always!
Girlie, I’m proud of you, and glad to say I know you. Hugs.
I’m so sorry! As much as it sucks you have an amazing perspective on all of this. Congrats on keeping your composure.
Have a great time on your “honeymoon”!
Oh no! And although this may not be consoling now, but better to find out now than after you’re married.
The bees love you!
Awww Snappy I am so sorry, but you’re right you dodged a HUGE bullet! I truly believe (and it looks like you do to) that things happen for a reason and I’m sure you will meet a MAN who appreciates you for the awesome woman you are ((BIG HUGS))
I am also SO HAPPY to hear you and your sister will be going on your Honeymoon! I can’t wait to hear all about it!
MUCH LOVE!
Allison
Thanks for being an example of a STRONG SMART woman. Good Luck to you in the future.
I’m so sorry - what a crappy situation to be in. I’m happy that you fully understand that this has nothing to do with you, and only him. Keep your head up and keep smiling!
I’m so sorry, but I am so proud that you are dealing with it so well! It takes a lot of strength, and I’m happy that you have that…it’s extraordinarily admirable, and I wish you the absolute best…the hive will always be here for you!
Oh, there’s a great book called “Honeymoon with my Brother” that you’d probably enjoy.
You are truly strong woman. I know this is an incredibly painful time, but you will get though this and emerge even more fabulous than before. I am however, so sorry to see you go. I really enjoyed reading your posts.
Oh, Snappy! My heart breaks for you. You are in my thoughts.
As evident by your grace and class, you are one amazing woman who deserves a partner that will love and cherish you. You also deserve a happy, healthy life. Good for you for trusting your instincts.
Once a bee, always a bee! We will always be here for you!
I have never commented on this site before, though I’ve been reading for awhile, but I had to for this. You have amazing perspective Ms Snap and that will carry you through this. To realize that the money you will loose is not a reason to accept love that is not up to your standards is a HUGE feat that many women would struggle with. Hold your head high and be so proud of yourself for having such strength. I am awed by your words here. I am wishing you nothing but happiness in your future, you are right, you do deserve it.
Been there and your post was probably as hard to read as it was for you to write. Best of luck to you and know that you are not alone. And while it’s not at all in your thoughts right now, know that your new dragon can be right around your next corner like mine was. Your healing will begin and it sounds like you are indestructible! Kisses,
Tmarie
Hope things will get better for you. Hopefully you will be back soon with the new, shiny Mr. Snap!
I’m so sorry to hear this story, at least you were able to find out before the marriage. We’re all here for you and wish you the best Ms Snap.
I was just telling my friend you were one of my favorite bees. I am really, terribly sorry that this happened. I am keeping you in my prayers.
Oh, I am so sorry for you! But I am also proud that you know it wasn’t your fault, and that you found out before the wedding.
Everything is always darkest before dawn, and you may lose your deposits, but you gain freendom from this.
I wish you the best, and I know you’ll bounce back! (hugs)
I am gonna say it …. you are one LUCKY woman to have been able to find out now and not after. I was one of the “unlucky” that found out after having kids. Believe me … a divorce is YUCKY, especially with kids because that guy never goes away. You were very brave to post this today and I wish you all the best
Snappy- thanks for sharing! I love reading the witty, funny, amazingingly crafty posts on the weddingbee.
I got engaged last May, and like you I had that gut feeling that it just wasn’t right. After a silly fight about the wedding venue I decided to end the engagement in July. Thankfully nothing had been paid for– I also didn’t get a super fun honeymoon with my sister Only a few weeks after breaking up, I randomly and very-un-expectedly met a fabulous guy and I realized that when everyone was saying that everything happens for a reason, they were right! And its all about timing.
Hang in there and it does really get better with time.
I am so sorry, you deserve a MILLION times better than that!!! Atleast now you can go out and find someone who is deserving of your love. I wish you all the luck in the world, you are such a strong person!!
I’m so sorry that you have to go through this. You are truly such a stong person and I admire you so much. I will definitely miss your posts here on weddingbee. I know you will find someone MUCH better — someone you deserve!
OMG Ms. Snappy!! I felt punched in the gut for you You are so strong and BEAUTIFUL! Big hugs to you and your family in this difficult time and this hive has and always will love you <3
I’m so sorry you were hurt this way, but am glad (like you) that it happened before the wedding/mortgage/kids because that just complicates things so much. I’m proud of you for realizing you deserve more than this #@&% and going for it, leaving him behind. It will be tough, I don’t doubt that, but you will come out of it a better and stronger person. Cheesy, I know, but true. Enjoy your trip with your sister, you deserve it! Big huge virtual hugs!
We will miss you! But, I am so happy that your future is so much brighter now. I am familiar with this kind of heartbreak and I am so happy your big, beautiful family is there to sweep in and surround you with the kind of true love and appreciation you deserve. Have a great honeymoon and best wishes for a happy career and many strong friendships. LOVE!
Snappy- I hope you find someone who is less of a dragon. We’re here for you- always!!
And I second Cheese on the book recommendation. When you need a laugh, you need to read- Honeymoon with my Brother. I can only hope your trip is as great at theirs was.
HUGS!!
Ms. S, when I first came on board here at WB, you sent the loveliest, most honest and thoughtful well-wishes. You stood out because of your genuine kindness and goodness. I feel terribly that this would happen to any of us, but especially you. It really saddens me that you’re suffering (you, who dislikes unkind people has been dealt such an unkind blow). I am also really relieved for you that you did indeed dodge this bullet. This turmoil will bring you clarity. And for that, I’m glad for you. I wish you well, Snappy. You are a lovely person and you deserve the very, very best.
I am so sorry for the pain you are going through. It is good that you found this out now than later. Have fun on your trip.
Ms. Snappy, I am so sorry to hear this. *Hugs to you!* If it makes you feel any better, you have an entire internet community on Weddingbee that admires you and supports you!
My heart is breaking for you, but I am not sorry for you since you are in a great place right now! You have so much strength with all this happening to you, I wish you love and happiness and have fun with your sister on the trip!
You deserve better. Thank you for sharing. I pray for peace for your broken heart. You may never have a complete understanding as to why this happened, but you have a great spirit and in the end, you will come out the lucky one.
You are a strong woman Ms. Snap! Not only for sharing this with us– but for already starting the rest of YOUR life!
You are doing the right thing. You had a gut feeling about this whole mess, and you need to go with what your gut tells you.
You are an amazingly strong person to walk away and start anew. I will really miss having you around the Hive, Snappy. Take care of yourself, hon. xo
I know some people may take this the wrong way, but……….
“Picked the wrong guy, gave him the wrong finger.”
All of us on here think you rock and will miss your posts.
Oh No!!! So sorry to hear about this and relieved that you are taking it this way. Things happen for a reason and you’ll find yours some day.
Good luck with everything.
This is officially, the worst week ever, Part II.
Oh Miss Snappy! I want to say I’m so sorry, but really I am glad you did dodge the bullet! And it truely is his loss! I have admired you and your posts since you started. Your words about your love for your friends and your family prove that you deserve to be loved by someone who has as big of a heart as you do!
Have a great time on your sister-moon! I can’t wait to see all the fun you guys will have!
Hugs!!
i am so sorry. So, so sorry. Take care of yourself.
So sorry dear. I’m so proud of how you’re handling it- you sound like you have your head in the right place. Take good care of yourself!
You seem like such a nice woman. I am so sorry that Mr. Dragon did this, but I am so thankful you found out now! You deserve the best!! **HUG**
CHERRY PIE SMAAAAAAASSSSHHHHH!!!
I still can’t believe that jerk did this to you, but I agree with gidget’s quote and the rest of the ladies who say “better now than later.” Best of luck to you, sistah!
I feel so shocked and my heart goes out to you! you were one of my favourite bees and I feel your loss although I love your spirit and your attitude. I’m sure you will move onwards and upward and I wish you all the best x
You sound like such a beautiful person and I wish you all the love in the world! I can’t wait to read about your trip in July and please know that well really miss you,but you’ll be back here in no-time, posting about some other, more worthy, partner! I wish you all the best!
I have tears in my eyes Snaps. Much love and another big hug to you.
Snappy, I am so sorry that you are going through this! You have an awesome perspective, though. I’m relieved that you found out before you got married - you deserve a man with the honesty, passion, and integrity that you have displayed so well on this site. We are all behind you!!
I am so sorry for what you have found out, but you will be fine! Your attitude is fantastic and you will find someone better and maybe you’ll be back here! Make sure to take care of yourself…you’ll be missed!
Big hugs for you Snappy! I think it is wonderful that are going on your honeymoon with your sister!
I just want to say that you are awesome. You define grace and class by what you’ve shared here, and I wish you well!!!
No one should have to endure that! I’m so sorry to hear about this. It sounds like you are on the right track on how to deal with it all and I hope you can grow to see the good that came out of this bad time. Best of luck to you!
I have nothing but love and admiration for you! You truly are an amazing person for how you are handling the situation. I wish you the best!
OMG Miss Snapdragon that’s awful. I’m so sorry. Here’s the same website I mentioned in Miss Fondue’s goodbye post: theregoesthebride.com. I’ve heard it’s a really good site for women who have called it off.
OH my god, how awful. I’m so glad you found out now too, and I respect how well positively you’re handling it. You are awesome. Him, not so much.
I am so sorry you had to go through something like this but you are right that it was best to have found out sooner rather than later. I hope & wish that you will find happiness in other things while your heart heals. Sending you a warm hug & best wishes!
so sorry to hear that this had to happen but you’re right… you dodged a huge bullet there! best of luck to you. *hugs*
I so admire your strength. What you said about all of that lost money buying you the rest of your life is such a poignant statement. You will get through this, you will find the love you deserve, and you will always have a hive full of cheerleaders in us. We love you, Snappy!
Oh Snaps, I know it must be incredibly hard to have to go through this but you are doing the right thing. You deserve the VERY best and I KNOW there is much joy and love ahead for you.
I’m so sorry, Snappy! But, I’m so happy for you that you dodged that bullet and were strong enough to confront what your gut was telling you. Your words show that you have exactly the outlook that you need, and though you’re understandably devastated now, things will look up again. Hugs!
I’m so sorry, but I’m glad you can look at the situation in a positive light. You’re right, it’s much better to find out now.
My cousin was married for only a couple of months when she found out her husband had a drinking problem. She left when one of their pets got hurt. But she had already left her job to move in with him and she has it back now, but it took a while.
I can’t even begin to imagine what you must be going through… I wish I could wrap you up in the biggest hug ever! (I think the responses to this post might be pretty close though!) As everyone said, best to figure it out now than later, and it sounds like you have a GREAT head on your shoulders to deal with it! Wishing you the BEST of luck as you move forward with your life and find the man who will be everything you deserve.
I’m a Chicago suburbs girl myself and if I could take that date off your hands I would! Unfortunately I don’t think the boyfriend would appreciate my planning a wedding without him
My heart is so sad for you, but you have such an incredible attitude. Keep that positive outlook, b/c you, Miss Snap, are truly a class act. You will definitely find a new Mr that deserves you!!
how terrible. what a bastard. you are indeed snappy, and we love it! thank you so much for sharing.
I am SO sorry that you had to go through this. BUT I am glad you found out now than later. My heart sank as I read your post. I wish you nothing but luck and love in your future.
I’m so sorry!!! As everyone has said, you are very strong and admirable for sharing such a tough story… Good luck with everything! Make the most out of your trip in July!! ***hugs***
Oh Miss Snap! You are amazing, and I am so glad that you had the strength and the fortitude to recognize your self-worth and walk away from he-who-shall-not-be-named with your held high. You DID dodge a big bullet, and I have no doubt you will find a much worthier partner in the future. Never settle for less! Thank you for reminding us all of that. Big hugs to you and best of luck to you in all that you do in the future. The bee community loves you!
Ms. Snap. This is an incredible and brave post. It’s really quite inspirational. I’m very sorry for your lost and hope that doors come swinging open to you in the future. You do deserve better and I’m glad you know that. Good luck good luck good luck.
I love gidgets comment. I can’t imagine your devastation. I just read the art of French Kissing and it was an great book. If you need some good chick-lit that you can relate too you should check it out.
it’s hard now, but you made the best decision ever. I hope that when you find your true love, you’ll come back to write here.
I am so sorry, Ms. Snap. Thank you for your openness and I love your strength. Now do I need to open up a can of whoop A%$%$ right now?
I’m so sorry that you had to go through this, but you’re totally right - you definitely dodged the biggest bullet of your life. I truly admire your amazing perspective. You’re an amazing woman, and the shiny, new and improved Mr. Dragon will be a lucky guy!
Much love, and enjoy your trip with your sister!
I don’t post much, but wanted to chime in to commend you for your strength and intelligence. Yours were my favorite bee posts and I’m so glad you see that you deserve better. I’m happy you dodged this bullet, you dragon-slayer.
I read your blog several times and am still shaking. I have nothing nice to say about Dragon so I won’t say anything nice at all.
You, however, are a strong, inspiring woman. Take care of yourself and let your family and friends take care of you too. Best wishes for a great future, however you choose to spend it.
What can I say that hasn’t already been said by the other bees?
It seems like you have such a good perspective on the situation already. And I totally agree that it’s so much better you found this out sooner rather than later.
It just means that you two weren’t right for each other and that there is someone out there much better suited for you - who would never treat you this way.
Best of luck to you!!
I’m so sorry that you have to go through this! But you are better off without him, girl!
Someday you will find someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Until, then enjoy being the strong woman that you are and have a great time on your honeymoon!
i am so sorry. please stay strong, i hope tomorrow you find better things.
Oh my goodness, I am on one hand so sorry that you have to go through the heartache and betrayal that you have, but on the other side, so happy for you that you didn’t find out about this after the fact. This time last year, my finance called off our wedding & had a little mental instability… while it was tough for awhile (and totally sucked losing all that money from deposits), in the long run it worked out for the best. Good for you for taking that honeymoon. Have the TIME OF YOUR LIFE! I did something similar–I had taken a week off work, so instead I flew to the coast to spend my would-be wedding day with my best friend. You’ve got a great attitude that you should be very proud of!
I’m so sorry!! Your strength is truly admirable. I wish you all the best!!
My heart aches for you. You deserve so much more! Keep your head up and continue to be strong. I’m so sorry but I, too, am glad you found out when you did. Have a wonderful time on your honeymoon and best wishes.
I am so sorry.
That effing jerk.
Thank God you found out — I totally agree that in five years you will literally feel that you were blessed that you found out.
Miss Snapdragon,
Big hugs and a big round of applause to you. I hope you know that by posting this, you probably have helped so many women who read weddingbee. Wedding planning, crafting projects, vendors, the dress, accessories, colors, etc mean nothing without a real, trustworthy, life partner. It’s the most important thing.
u are an amazing person and one day someday somebody will see that too and know you deserve so much.
the best to you Miss Snappy and wish the utmost best for your future. and looking forward to ur last 2 entries too.
i hope u are surrounded not only by bees who love u but also loved ones to shower u with hugs and encouragement.
that’s right girl, you go on and stay amazing. don’t let no sorry ass drag you down. also, mad props for sharing it here, you sho’ iz snappy indeed (and you’ll always be, honey)!
Miss Snap, I’m so, so sorry. I’ve been there, bought that t-shirt and you are correct….lost deposits are a mute point when you realize in the process you gained a better life. The wounds heal and eventually you can look back without the pain or anger. I once thought of those 3 years as lost, but on the flip side they just taught me more about who I am, and really prepared me to fully love the right guy when he came along…
I admire your strength in sharing, and I wish my arms could reach from Atlanta to Chicago to give you a huge hug (although that would mean I’d have some really crazy-long arms)
Have a blast with your sister, and ditto Cheese on the book recommendation!
I know I’m commenting again.. but I’m so angry for you and I admire your strength so much. God bless.
My thoughts are with you, Miss Snappy! I wish you all the best!
Your strength and perspective are inspiring. I am sure your story will give strength to others, as well. You are such a beautiful person. Best of luck to you, Ms. Snapdragon!
I feel for you, more than you know. I began reading this blog when I was engaged, I began blogging myself and was hopeful of becoming a bee at one point and went through the exact same thing last March. 8 months into the engagement and he started to verbally and emotionally abuse me and eventually it came out (through the cell phone and a drunken text slip) that there was someone else. I still read this blog all the time, but had to take a long break from it. I’ll be completely honest, the first 3 months will be an emotional roller coaster… but I also promise that is is happening for a reason, something so much better, that you never imagined possible will come along. Your titled stated it best, and I too felt that I dodged the biggest bullet of my life. Sure it hurt and hindsight is 20/20, but don’t press for closure or to make yourself feel better, it will happen on it’s own. Honestly, one day you will just BE better. We are all here for you. Feel free to private email anytime because talking will be your best medicine.
We love you.
So sorry Miss SD. Hugs. Will say a prayer for you tonight for strength.
I am the victim of such a guy too. Except he didn’t do that until almost a decade together, married and having a child.
It is a huge bullet you dodged, but I feel I dodged one myself. I could have lived with that man forever had I not accidentally found a laptop that got shipped to me from an airline. “She” had left it on a flight to Miami. I busted them thru her laptop.
I know you feel as if you might never love again, but trust me, you will. And you will be wiser. You will love with all your heart and when that day arrives it will with a moment of clarity when it did for me too.
I wish you a bright new beginning. Your life is just beginning, there’s so much ahead for you. I wish you love and happiness.
His loss.
Let me tell you what’s happened after I divorced. It turned out there was more than one “She” in our situation. One dumped him and the other got deliberately pregnant. I had no idea he lived a double life.
Sadly, he’s cheated on “her”. “She”’s an unhappy wife and mother of a young child but unlike me, she KNEW she married a cheater and if they’ll do it with you..well you know the rest of the adage.
If you ever need a sympathetic ear, I’m the one. Love and hugs. This too shall pass.
I’m so sorry to hear that. I really admire your ability to realize that it’s not you at all! Too often women blame themselves for cheaters.
That which does not break us only makes us stronger, and you’re already pretty strong for being able to post his here and keep your head held high (as you should!). And as sorry as I am that this has happened, I’m so happy for you for finding out at this point rather than later. Best wishes in the future, and may your shiny, new Mr. Dragon be twenty times the man, husband, and partner in life than that jerk.
Oh, Snap… that’s horrible to hear. But hey… and I’m serious about this… MAKE HIM pay you back for the deposits and other lost monetary amounts that were wedding related. If he was off with her before the proposal, it’s the LEAST he can do.
Wow! I am so sorry
I hope the love and support of those who love you will get you thru this time.
Also..take comfort in knowing that all these ladies you don’t know on here are sending you prayers and good thoughts.
I am so very sorry.
My heart sank when I read your post.
Stay strong!
wow! I’m so sorry… I am so glad you found out now and not closer to the wedding or after… best of luck…we’re here for you.
[...] another case, the bride-to-be caught wind of her fiance’s affair. Talk about heartbreaking. They were [...]
Dear Ms. Snapdragon, I wish I knew you so I could give you a hug. I am so sorry to hear what happened to you. I can imagine you will have some ups and down for the next few months. Surround yourself with people who love you (good for you for going on your honeymoon with your sister!), and in due time, this experience will be behind you. Don’t lose your faith in love. There are plenty of jerks out there, but there are also wondeful and honest men, and I am sure you will love again. Best of luck to you!
My heart goes out to you in such a big way. This is a tough time for you and you are in my prayers. I know that you seem to be doing well, but even when you have dark days or nights (because they will come), be sure to remember that it is okay. It is okay to be mad, sad, happy, hurt, and every other emotion all at once. Know that it will get better and thank God that you now have the opportunity to find someone who will really LOVE you no matter what. Keep your head up.
Miss Snap, I am so sorry to hear that you had to experience this. Good for you for realizing that it’s not your fault and that he’s definitely not worthy of you if he doesn’t love you the way you deserve to be loved.
You are in my thoughts and heart! Enjoy that honeymoon!
Oh Snap! So sorry to hear this… and so happy for you that you did dodge that bullet.
Since it sounds as if your financial loss was substantial, definitely contact an attorney for the monies lost since it is his fault.
also, put anything you can out here on classified. We’re here to help our fellow bees out!
Onward and upward Miss SD! Only onward and upward.
oh man, this SUCKS. I am so sad that this kind of betrayal has happened to you- no one in the world deserves that.
I would love to have a Chicago Bee meet up anytime you’re ready to hit the town for some stress relief.
Good for you! Your attitude and grace is so admirable, and it will serve you well in all your future endeavors. I wish you luck and love as you move on to better days.
Snappy, you know what? KEEP THE RING!!! Sell it and use that money to pay for some of the deposits you’ve lost! Or spend it on your honeymoon with your sister!!!!
A Zsa Zsa Gabor quote is appropriate for this, “I never hated a man enough to give him diamonds back.”
I can’t imagine how difficult that was for you to share. I am so very sorry that you are going through this and I only wish you the BEST in your life. You did dodge a huge bullet and you should be so PROUD about that. You did absolutely NOTHING wrong here. Best wishes to you always.
oh my goodness miss snappy! i don’t even know what to say. this post came as such a sock. i can’t even imagine what you must be going through, but i can tell even from you writing this post that you are a strong woman and you can make it through this. …and you’re right. he doesn’t deserve you and THANK GOD you found out before you got married. he obviously has some very deep issues to work out within himself.
Aw Snappy, I’m so sorry, but am also very happy for you (if that makes any sense?) because the future holds so much more for you! I’m sure you’ll have your highs and lows in the weeks ahead, but overall, you seem to be responding to this and thinking about how you want to move forward, instead of reacting to this negatively and playing the victim. Good for you!
Good luck Ms. Snappy.
I would def. count your lucky stars that you found out now.
Not that it makes your struggle any less difficult.
All the best…..
You are amazing! Such and adult and respectful outlook on life. I hope to never again feel the way you do now, but if I do..hope to handle it as well as you are.
Wish i could buy you a drink on your trip!!
{{High Five!!!}}
Your resiliance is truly an inspiration!! I send no condolences, only congratulations that you were so quickly able to read the situation. He’s a jerk and you deserve better. And you know that. {{Snaps}} to Miss Snappy!!
Hope we still see you around the Hive!!
Snaps, I will never forget the first time I saw you on BeeTV. You were sweet, strong and snappy. As painful as it is I’m so happy that you dodged this bullet - you deserve better. If you’re ever in the DC area (or England) I’ll have a bottle of wine waiting for you.
you deserve the best and i wish you all the best… keep on smiling, everything will work itself out… xoxo
That asshole ought to pay all the losses and penalties for you. I’m not kidding. You should sue him for damages to cover it if he won’t do it.
Regardless, I love you and have been incredibly inspired by your strength, fearlessness and honesty. Thank you.
Miss Meatball is right! Take his butt to Judge Judy!!
But no really…we are serious!
i love your positive outlook; that you realized that you are WAYYY better than he-who-shall-not-be-named and his tart sidekick.
Very well written Snappy; I totally admire your honesty, and strength.
oh snappy! while i am bummed to hear the news that is much tempered by the fact that you have kept such a great perspective on all of this. your attitude is refreshing. i wish you nothing but the best in the future. i know you have the full support of your friends and family along with all of us in the hive. keep on keeping on ms. snap!
Ms. Snap, my heart goes out to you right now. I’m impressed by how strong and honest you are, despite everything you’ve been through. Big hugs to you.
*hug* glad you found out now than later.
take care, dear Ms Snap.
and yes, we will appreciate your invitations! show! show!
Oh my god! I have been thinking about you, because you essentially found me my dress. I was wondering what your dress might look like…
I’m so sorry to hear about this! But, I think your attitude is right… I went through an engagement break-up, and it was the best thing to ever happen to me. (Though it took months to see it that way.) This happened when I was 31, so I was pretty bummed. But life moved on, and now I’m marrying the right guy at the right age for me.
Big hugs!
I know how you feel about the cheating, but I cannot even begin to know your pain and what you are feeling about this whole situation. Seriously girl, you rock! You are an amazing person for knowing after just a few hours that it is NOT at all your fault. You really are right about dodging a huge bullet and you are so incredibly brave for letting us know, so thank you for that. I know that you are an inspiration to many others by sharing your story. And thank you also, for reminding all of us to always go with our gut…there really is something to the myth’s about womens intuition. Can’t wait to hear about your honeymoon with your sister, it really will be great!
Ms. Snap can I just say that you are AMAZING! You are finding strength and courage in this dark hour. I wish you nothing but the absolute best and will keep you in my thoughts. The hive will be a less vibrant place without you around and I will thoroughly miss your posts. *hugs*
You are really amazing. Not to mention gorgeous and smart and funny. He’s an idiot. And, it bears repeating, you are amazing. Good luck.
Thank you for being corageous and strong enough to share your story. I wish you the blessings and happiness you deserve.
What a dispcable piece of work. This kind of BS has happened to too many good women.
I’m so glad to see that he hasn’t taken the strong, sassy womany out of you that we all love. I’m thanking the lucky starts that you figured out his game before signing on the dotted line.
Lots of love for you Snappy!
wow snappy i am so sorry! I feel for you through this tough time. You are so courageous and strong to write that post. The one is still out there, who will love you and treat you how you deserve to be treated every day of your life. I hope he comes along soon! stay strong!
wow. kudos to you. he sucks. you rock!
thanks for sharing something that is so difficult and personal to you.
best wishes and blessings to you ms. snap! i’m sure you’ll find someone that deserves you in the future!! we will miss you!
you are already an incredibly strong person, and this will only make you stronger. who knows who the wonderful guy is who’s just waiting to meet you around the corner? good luck, and i know you will be alright!
Thank you for being so brave and sharing this very difficult post with us. You inspire me and I am awe of how strong you are. All my best wishes and ‘here’s to you’ for coming out of this with your head held so high. *hugs*
And he deserves a kick in the face. With stilleto boots.
Just realize that right now there are a whole lot of Bee’s wishing much discomfort on him…. How amazingly strong you are… there are so many who would have turned a blind eye to this and then asked themselves a year later why am I so unhappy… today you stood strong and you know you are doing the right thing TODAY… let tomorrow come and deal with everything one day at a time… cyber hugs to you– can’t wait for more posts from you!! even without a wedding you have so much to teach all of us!!
I know I’m just repeating what everyone else has said, but I absolutely admire your strength. Too many women would have “turned the other cheek” instead of seeing how strong they really are. I’ve loved reading all of your posts and can’t wait to hear about your sister-moon (good for you by the way) I’m sure we’ll all hear from you again when you meet the man that deserves to love you
I am really sorry that he is not your one! However, your awareness of what a healthy relationship is allowed you to know that something was not quite right. You had a gut feeling something was wrong and figured it and took care of it instead of figuring that it will be alright and he will change once we are married. Unfortunately, there are too many women that believe that, just because they want to be married. I am so happy for you to start a new chapter in your life and kick it off with a vacation with your sister. You are a lucky woman and have a great future ahead of you. Thank you for sharing with us.
You are truly a woman of strength who has taught us so much. Thank-you for your honesty and genuineness. We love you and are always here.
I can’t say I know how you feel, but having seen one of my friends go through something similar, I can only hope that you have abundant amount of love and support to help you through this unpleasant part…and from your posts, you certainly have that and more. Like you, my friend was devastated (15 yrs together) when he found out, but he’s moved on since and he is way better off. I know you will too cuz you can’t keep Snappy down. The sun will shine again dear, keep your head up!
Your outlook on this situation is inspiring! You’re being so strong, and it’s good to know that you do have people you can always depend on, like your family, for when you feel weak. Good luck.
I’m so sorry to read about what’s happened. It’s absolutely awful what he has done to you - it’s wrong, just wrong. I am happy however that this was pre wedding than post.
There is a far far far better Mr Snapdragon out there for you who you deserve. Thank for your posts, I’ve really enjoyed them and I think your a fab woman and have inspired me in my wedding planning.
All the best for the future and I hope the financial impact is minimal x
more power to you, lady! go ahead and be the strong, independent woman that you are.
…real peace…
Ms. Snap, I’m so glad you found out about this beforehand. As much as it hurts now & still will hurt for awhile, YOU deserve SO MUCH BETTER! I hope that you realize what a great person you are, an even better person now that you can keep your head held high that you did the right thing.
& KUDOS TO YOU FOR GOING ON THAT ‘HONEYMOON’ WITH YOUR SIS! best idea EVER!
You’ll be in my thoughts & prayers!
Oh, SD, I cried when I read this. I could not even remotely imagine what you must be going through. But you’re so right, it’s GREAT that you found out now that the man you loved is not the man you thought he was. He is a coward. YOU are so much better than that and above it all. You will be fine…my thoughts are with you and you will be very missed here as a Bee.
Thank you so much for sharing; you truly are an inspiration. You deserve the very best and I wish you much love, happiness, and laughter in the future.
Ms. S, I can’t begin to express anything that obviously hasn’t been said by all of those above, especially since we’ve never met. Despite that, your strength, confidence, humor, and intelligence has touched all who have read your posts. I just want to echo all of the comments above and send that cosmic vibe in support.
That is horrible!! I’m so sorry you have to go through this. You sound amazingly level-headed about it. Having been through something similar in the past, I will tell you it took me a LOT longer to get to where you are! You deserve MUCH better. And it’s cliched but true - good you found out now rather than after the wedding. Have a BLAST w/ your sister on the vacation - can’t wait to hear the fabulous details in your June post. No doubt there will be tough days as you work past this, but I know you will stay “Snappy”!
P.S. You should hit up his sorry arse for at least 1/2 of those deposits you lost! Or just pawn the ring
Although I don’t envy you your situation, I do envy you dignity, grace, and courage. You will be missed.
And I echo some of the posts above, the lost deposits are his responsibility.
Enjoy your sister-moon! You two will have an amazing trip!
bigger and better things are ahead for you! when you feel the darkest remember “this to shall pass”.
I wish you the best of luck. Your attitude is commendable, and it’s so much better that you know now instead of after the vows.
Snappy, big huge virtual hugs! You are a strong, gorgeous, articulate lady, and I am glad you are walking away from this with your head held high. I am proud of you and you should be infinitely proud of yourself. This will springboard you into a wonderful new chapter of your life. I hope you and your Snappy Sis have the most fun, relaxing and sassy vacation ever. The hive is always hear for you. I will miss your posts.
I just finished reading your blog and the only words that come out is that I admire your strength and perspective.
You are a smart woman and I know you are on the right path. I wish you lots of fun on your vacation with your sister.
I am so sorry Snappy! I’m going to miss your posts! I was just enjoying your last one. You’re a smart girl, don’t let no mans bring you down! I am proud of you! Good luck and hope to hear from you soon
My heart goes out to you…
Oh my god. Your good heart shines through all your posts. So sorry you have to go through this. It will all be OK. I promise.
So sorry that this happened to you and you had to find out this way. You seem like such a strong person. I hope you find true love when it’s the right time for you!
Miss Snapdragon, I just wanted you to know your doing the right thing. I was married in October and my husband was having an affair before our wedding. I wish I had known before the wedding because I would have called it off. I found out two weeks before Christmas and now I’m picking up the pieces. If you ever want to chat, please feel free to email me. Good luck. You’ll be in my prayers.
Carrie
As the person who still has issues based on her father’s indiscretions, I feel so badly for you, but I realize what you’ve prevented. I am so glad you have people near you that love you. I wish I could give you a long-distance hug, and I am so proud of you (even though I don’t know you) for the way you’ve been able to focus on the good.
So very sorry But you have your whole future ahead of you, and you have such a great outlook on it all. Just keep looking forward.
You’re doing the right thing and are SOOOOO STRONG for doing it. Thanks for being a great example and don’t worry, life has a strange way of finding happy endings sooner or later.
We love you Snappy! You have had such an amazing attitude through all of this–you are truly an inspiration!
My heart breaks for you. I admire your honesty and strength! ((Hugs))
Im coming out of lurker mode to tell you that this post was really inspiring. I love your attitude and you handled a very painful and difficult situation perfectly. props to you!
So sorry to hear this Ms. Snap. Your post clearly shows how STRONG you are! Thank you for your honesty and good luck moving forward!
You’re amazing. I get courage from your strength, and I am so in awe of your positive attitude. This guy will have it coming to him one day, but by then you’ll be LONG GONE with the true man of your dreams. Keep up the faith, and know that everything happens for a reason. We are never placed in situations that we can’t endure, I believe, and I think through all this crap, you’ll emerge an even lovlier, an even more beautiful, and even more inspiring person than you already are. GOD BLESS! YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope you find your happiness. I will miss hearing from you.
if you can’t tell by the name my girlfriend, soopercoolgirl, is an avid visitor and supporter of this site and she has also mentioned that you are one of her favorite bloggers, but my heart really goes out to you. I hope God blesses you with the perfect husband who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated!!!
I truly admire how you are handling this. And thank you for blogging about it as I know, unfortunately, others are in a similar boat and need to hear the truth from a confident gal like you. good luck.
Hey Miss Snappy!
I’m SOO sorry about what a scumbag your ex turned out to be. That is awful, but I am so glad that you’re being so optimistic. He obviously wasn’t the right one for you, and the right one will eventually FIND you. You deserve the best…. after all, you’re a chicago queen! 
My ex left me three days before I had our son. I was devestad and heart broken, but I dealt with the life I had before me and remained optimistic. I ended up falling in love with my best friend, and now I am SO thankful I didn’t marry my ex (who was also cheating on me and became abusive when I got pregnant). It was by far the hardest thing I had to go through, but now I can look back and I have so much more respect for the person I am and my strength. I hope this is of encouragement to you. I feel weird telling my “online secrets” but I say this because I want you to know how much better life will be now that you can demand (and get) love and respect. They always say that divorce is more expensive than marriage, but I can only imagine how much harder this must be. Please let me know if I can do anything… my heart seriously goes out to you and I know I don’t really know you, but I know the pain you’re going through. **hugs**
I have really loved reading your posts. I am floored, both by what happened and by the strength you are exhibiting! You are going to be just fine- no, just fabulous. And you are so right to be grateful to find out now.
The hive has spoken: a wonderful person like you deserves so much more! Don’t look back…there’s so much more waiting for you.
you go girl! I love that you KNOW you deserve better. It will be hard some days, but you deserve so much more!
I’ll admit that there is a selfish part of me that couldn’t wait to see pictures of your wedding and your amazing family. I am, however very happy that this has all gone down before you committed yourself to marriage with the wrong person.
I truly hope that I might see you here again on Wedding Bee when you meet a partner that really deserves the incredible person you are.
What else can I add Snappy?…it’s obvious that we all love you!!
You deserve nothing but the best, and when the time is right a man who loves you for who you are will come along and win your heart.
You go girl for having such a good perspective on all this. I will miss you!
WOW!! I am sorry to see this happen to you or anyone. Like you said better now than later in life. I will keep you in my prayers.
Well I am completely happy for you. Honestly, this is a better time than EVER to find out such a crappy thing. I’m really sorry that this is happening, and I will (like many others) will also miss reading your blogs, but am wishing you the best of luck on your new refreshed life! I hope you and your sister have a fabulous time on your honeymoon. I’ll be looking forward to your post. We’ll miss you Snappy!
PS — I think it is so great that you and your sister will be able to go on your honeymoon together!
That is sure to be a trip filled with love, laughter, family, and good times. That’s all you really need in life
wow. you’re a soulja! i am sorry about all the crap you’re going through but am glad to read that you ‘got your life back.’ that’s the most impt thing. i really admire your courageous and strong spirit. props to you girl!
I’m glad to see you’re going to “snap” to it and move on. He doesn’t deserve anybody as good and strong and fabulous as you. I hope you can make a fresh start. {{}}}
I am so sorry. What a hard thing to discover. I hope you can stick him with some of the non-refundable deposits - you should not be stuck paying the financial repercussions for his betrayal.
I can’t believe two bee weddings have fallen through in one week. This happened to me too, although I didn’t find out he was cheating on me until months after he left me. I got through it, though, and came out much stronger. It sounds as though you’re well on your way to healing the same way. If it helps, I wrote a post about it which I also mentioned on the post that Miss Fondue wrote. This isn’t spam, it’s just a post you might find genuinely helpful. If you are having trouble coping, please have a read through this post and all the comments.
http://sparklytospouse.blogspot.com/2008/01/coping-with-broken-engagement.html
I’m so sorry Miss Snappy, I send all my love and hugs your way!
oh, Miss Snappy…I am so sorry. Many hugs and prayers sent your way!
I had to stop reading after about 100 comments! As you can see, everyone on here loves you, and your ex-Mr Dragon doesn’t know what he’s gone and lost through his own stupid actions. I have loved reading your posts, and I was really interested in your big family and all your plans. You are a wonderful, strong, exceptional woman to be taking this the way you are (the right way, but that might not stop the rest of us from wallowing and self-blaming) and I wish you only the best. If you could leave a personal blog addy that would be awesome.
I just can’t believe two Bees have called off their weddings this month! So sad.
I am sorry that this happened. But remember what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. You will take this experience with you and use it to help you in the future. Good luck with your life and your futue endeavors. Everything happens for a reason, and whatever’s meant to be will be. And IT will…in time! Hugs!
Oh Snappy, you deserve soooo much better than what that weasely dragon did to you!! Can’t wait to here about your honeymoon with your sister, I’m sure you will have a blast. And yes, you did dodge the biggest bullet - when my ex and I broke up (he cheated too, and lied to me about doing drugs!) and we called our wedding off, one of the first things my mom told me was “at least you found out now, before you had a marriage, house or baby to worry about. you got very lucky” I’ll never forget that, as I see you won’t either. Good luck in life Ms Snaps, big hugs!!
I don’t know what else to say that hasn’t already been said….it takes amazing strength to be able to recognize the bright side in such a crappy situation. I’m proud of you for having the courage not only to deal with it, but to write about it as well. Kudos to you and I wish you the very best…you deserve it.
Better to find out sooner than later, and definitly better to do so before marrying the jerk. I wish you all the best, Snappy, and hope that you’ll find somene great enough to truly apreciate how lucky he is to be with you.
Also. He should go fall off a cliff somewhere.
I’m so sorry to hear this — and at the same time, so happy for you that you dodged such a bullet. Knowing the reality is way better than living out a dream. Like so many other commenters, I wish you the very best and have no doubt that you’ll find it.
Take care of yourself, and, I agree with the above poster: tell your ex-fiance to watch out for cliffs.
*huge hug* No matter what comes all us bee’s will stand behind you.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, Ms. Snap. Wishing you many happy days ahead.
Ms. Snap, I’ve loved your posts and frequently wished I knew you in real life. I can’t believe your ex would be so stupid as to not realize what a phenomenal woman you are and treat you with the respect and devotion you deserve. You *did* dodge a bullet, and I hope you and your sister have a blast on your vacation!
Wow. I am so sorry, but better now than later. I wish you all the best in the future. You are a very strong and Snappy lady, with your heart in the right place. Stay strong.
You’re in my thoughts & prayers Miss Snap. Having gone through something quite similar years ago, I know how hard it is, but I also know that you will find the true happiness that a wonderful woman like you truly deserves. Big hugs to you.
Because everyone else seems to be staying mature and positive, I would like to take to take a moment on the low-road:
What an ASSFACE!
Ms. Snap, I think you’re fabulous. You are a woman of substance and smarts, with a hot bod to boot. I know I would love it if you left the address for your own blog [if you keep one] because I will miss your humor and clever insights!
I admire your strength. You are SOOOO better off and it is all a blessing in disguise that this happened. Now, like you said, you will be able to find the man who will truly love you and respect you, who will remain faithful and loyal and who will give his whole heart unselfishly. I wish you the best. Don’t ever question yourself as a person or compare yourself to another girl, I know you won’t, but often times girls who’ve been cheated on pick them selves apart as if they are flawed. The person who cannot honor his commitment and remain honest and true has a much bigger flaw! You seem stronger and smarter than that! Have a blast on your vacation with your sis! Life is so wonderful there are SOOO many great things in store for you!
Miss Snap, You are not alone and are doing the right thing. Do not regret your decision even if he comes crawling back. Years ago I was engaged and called off the wedding 3 months before (we hadn’t sent invitations yet) but we had everything else, church, dress, etc. There were so many signs that he was not the right man for me and my gut told me something was wrong. I was right there was a girl he was talking to in night school that was chasing him and he was seeing her and talking to her behind my back while I was stressing in grad school, working part time, taking care of two elderly relatives, and planning a wedding for 200 people. He was lying to me and I could feel it. This woman was telling him what ever he wanted to hear. Needless to say, it was hard, I was very sad to lose my dream of a family but it was the best thing I ever did for myself. I was free! He couldn’t control me anymore. I found out later that he married that girl within a year after our breakup and at the same time he was dating her he was calling me at school trying to reconcile and telling my family that we were taking a break and that we would work out! Never trust a Liar! Long story short, after that I kissed a lot of cute boys and finally found my dream man and married him two weeks ago in Hawaii. He is the man I have been looking for all my life and our wedding was everything I should have felt before but didn’t. I had doubts when ex-fiance proposed to me but I ignored them. I never had any doubt with my husband. He is the cutest and is HOT. So hats off to you Miss Snap and realize that there will be some pain and sadness but you rock and deserve the best don’t settle! Mahalo.
There really are no words to express how much your situation sucks. I am glad that you are looking on the positive side of things (dodging a bullet) and I know that you will find the right person to spend the rest of your life with - a person who deserves you! And, I agree with emariel - he is a total ASSFACE!
There’s not much left to say except BIG BIG BIG HUGS. You already know this, but you are obviously a very strong, intelligent woman who will definitely get the wonderful life you deserve!
It is {so} wonderful that you’re able to share your story and be an inspiration to other women. {And} that you’re able to look at the positives in a really crummy situation. Everything happens for a reason and, you’re right, thank God it happened sooner than later.
I know it hurts, but good for you Miss Snap! I missed all the warning signs and married the man I knew deep down I shouldn’t have. And it didn’t take long, the physical abuse started on the second day of the honeymoon. You dodged a big one, nothing is more painful than having to leave a man you love, but can’t treat you right. Take advantage of your fresh new start, and have courage! These next few weeks of self-discovery will give you the strength of heart you need to find your awesomely badass self again Enjoy your vacation, and be sure to treat yourself! Much love, and strength to you.
I appreciate your candor and admire your strength. It sounds cheesy, but I completely believe in the whole “Everything happens for a reason” bit. I wish you much much happiness!
Oh darling my heart goes out to you. As a wedding planner though I am sooo happy you found out before the wedding! I have seen too many dogs walk down the aisle and it pains me. Marriage is work, I know I will celebrate my 10 years this summer. It takes two souls who love each other fully and will always be faithful to make it through the ups and downs. Party like a rockstar on your trip with your sister this summer. Because you are a rockstar in all our eyes.
Just a lurker on the site and have never posted but your message today is something short of incredible and - at the risk of sounding cheesy - inspirational. Thank you for your courage in sharing your story with us. I know, not believe, that you have already emerged the winner in all of this. What beauty and decency of strength you’ve shown in a scenario (not to mention a “man”) so unworthy of you.
Congratulations for, as you said, dodging the bullet. Strength and much love and continued grace to you.
Miss Snappy.
I am so sorry about this. But he truly does not deserve you. I ended a three year relationship in a similar way (though we were not yet engaged, but had been talking about it for a while). I, Like you thank God everyday that I got out of that relationship before it was too late. 4.5 years later, I have found my lobster (Friends reference), and feel truly blessed. You will find yours and he will love you to the ends of the earth, because that is what you deserve.
I am so impressed and inspired by how upbeat you are, and it shows even more clearly that you deserve someone who appreciates your strength, courage, and integrity. My best wishes to you. Have fun with your sister, so glad you are taking her on your HM. You are in my thoughts and prayers in what I am sure is a difficult time.
I love that you let yourself mourn for exactly four hours… and then picked yourself back up Your strength and resilience are amazing assets to have. Wishing you all the best.
Ms. Snap… you are such a strong person and you deserve so much better than that. You will have much better than that. And you are incredible for knowing when to get out. All the best luck and well wishes for the future.
Oh, I’m so sorry that you have to go through this. You’ve been one of my very favorite bees and I’ve loved reading all your posts… you’ll certainly be missed around here! I agree with everyone else that you deserve — and will find — so much better. Best of luck to you, and I hope you have a blast with your sister.
I too am very sorry to hear of your crazy and unexpected experience! I have a knot on my throat, because I can only imagine what you’re going through… but you know what, things will get better and the Right Mr. Snap is waiting for you somewhere.
I met my soon-to-be hubby the day he was supposed to get married. His ex broke off the wedding 2 months before their date because she had been cheating in him for over 6 months… but we found each other! Blessings like those only manifest themselves in the hardest of times.. the person for you will Love and Respect you and those who love you! Best Wishes.
I’m so sorry to hear about this, Snappy. But thank you for sharing it with us in such a mature and thoughtful way. I wish you the best in your life.
I’m sorry you have to go through this but from your post, I can tell that you’ll be a stronger person from it. I wish you the best and never doubt that you WILL find someone better!
Ms Snaps, I look forward to the time where you are with a perfect Mr Snap that deserves you and isn’t a Douche-nozzle. Good for you for being so poised and just plain awesome.
Miss Snappy, you are such an inspiration to us all. You are a strong woman and are handling this with the utmost maturity. We love you!
You seem like such a strong woman… my thoughts are with you and I know you will live a happy life free of negativity! You’re an inspiration!
This is so sad, but also hopeful, because you sound like such an intelligent wonderful woman, and there’s no way you were supposed to marry that lying sack of … And the best part of it is that you can see that. Seriously, you’ve taken your first huge step towards healing your heart, lady, and that’s always the really scary part!
I’m speaking from the experience of dating a man 3 years, living w/ him for 2, and finding out he was using cocaine behind my back. I loved him dearly and honestly, but after that huge slap in the face, I was able to move forward.
Like you said, I could have been pregnant with his child and found out. YIKES!
Cheers to all the strong women out there like miss snappy!
Snaps! Sounds like we need round 2 of Chicago.Margaritas.Queso. Sending you so much e-support and ons of positive energy!
wow i read your post in awe. you are a courageous woman and i congratulate you on your wise decision. thank you for sharing such a story with us and having us realize its not just about a wedding but a lifetime you’re spending with a person. thank you snaps!
Wow, I am so very sorry that you had to experience this but I’m really glad your outlook is so amazing! Good for you being so strong and brave. And, I love that you can go on a sistermoon! You sound like an amazing girl and you deserve someone who treats you amazing! But, you already knew that. Good luck!!!
you are one incredible person…
i pray for much happiness for you!
I won’t say I’m sorry to hear this because I’m happy for you to have dodged this horrible bullet and to have been set free. You are a very strong and mature woman and whoever does find you, may they be so lucky, would be wise to hold on tight! Gob bless.
Ms Snaps you are such a strong and smart woman. Enjoy your vacation with your sister and I’ll be praying for only good to come your way. We love you!
Your maturity in this is just ioverwhelming and i am so glad that you have the confidence to realise that you deserve so much better, so much more. It was best that you found out sooner rather than later after the wedding. My best friend sadly found out later and still hasn’t found the courage to realise that she deserves so much better in life. So my thoughts go out to you and i applaud you whole heartedly for making this choice.
Snappy, your warm and kind-heartedness has always shown through your posts and comments. I dunno of anyone else in this hive that could handle this situation with more poise and composure than you. You deserve all the happiness in the world, and I am relieved you discovered this now versus later. Enjoy that trip with your sister as much as you can. *HUGS*
big HUGE hugs to you, Miss Snapdragon!! You deserve the best and he clearly wasn’t. Thank you for the strength you exhibited through this post. Have a wonderful trip with your sis! MUCH LOVE TO YOU!!!
I know I’m just repeating what everyone else has said, but my god. My heart goes out to you. It’s an awful situation and I’m so happy there is a silver lining to be seen. Props to you for staying snappy and sassy and knowing that the pain now is better than the pain would be after going through with a marriage to a jackass.
Oh my goodness, I feel for you. It isn’t easy to have courage when it feels like the plan you had for your life has completely changed and now you’re faced with a blank slate again.
Surround yourself with family and friends who love and support you. You’re a strong, strong girl. Much love your way.
You are exactly right in all of the things you wrote. It is not your fault, you should be with someone who loves you and appreciates you. Every woman deserves that. Enjoy your singleness… and you will be happy no matter what! Good for you!!
Wow…my heart sunk as I read your blog. You must be such a strong and level-headed person to be able to come to your senses so quickly. In hindsight, the past will become so clear and you will be able to be that much more clear with who deserves you in the future. Best to you.
I have nothing to say other than, my heart goes out to you… I have never been in your situation before, but I have been in some pretty sticky situations… Everything does happen for a reason and whatever you decide for anything just know that you have the full support of some amazing women on this blog and with your friends and family… stay strong, go with your heart and the rest will follow…
I am so late in responding because I am new to all of this, but I was compelled to say a little something…
Big SNAPS to you Miss SD! You are amazing! Your strength and clarity is incredible! You will find someone as amazing as you are. You deserve it!
And definitely make him pay. This is his mess, he needs to clean it up.
Oh no!!! I am so sorry you have to go through something so awful!! You are way to beautiful of a person (inside and out) to have this happen to you!! I think you are such a strong, couragously classy person in the way you seem to be handling the situation. It’s not your fault and your words will comfort those in similar situations! I want to thank you for sharing your story and I will truely miss hearing from you!!!! Best of luck… your fairytale is out there waiting to find you!!! *HUGS*
p.s. I agree with Miss Meatball
Your grace is truly an inspiration to us all. Bless you. I know great things are in your future and now you are free to experience them. I am looking forward to July to learn about your trip with your sister. Have the time of your lives–you deserve it!!
Take care of yourself dearie. Like you said, you dodged a bullet there. I wish you all the peace, joy and happiness in your journey ahead! You were one of my fav bees, I’m so going to miss your entries.
[...] Dodging the Biggest Bullet of My Life by Miss Snapdragon [...]
I agree with Ms. Meatball… this guy deserves to be sued!!! He should pay for all the penalties incurred. Having said that, I applaud you, Ms. Snappy for having the strength and dignity to walk away. Enjoy your honeymoon with your sister! Take care.
My heart goes out to you! You are a strong woman, and it shows! Kudos to you…and def. NO Kudos to him! Karma sucks for him!
you are much-loved snaps. I loved your posts and especially your live video with Miss PP. I’m terribly sorry to hear about this.
Thoughts and prayer are with you.
I cannot express how sorry I am. Your post even upset my FH. We will miss your posts & hope everything works out for the best for you. Please message me if you need anything, as I am in Chicago as well. (I’m the one who offered you my navy dress to use for your BM.) My heart goes out to you.
Oh, I almost forgot–Post your reception venue on Craigslist!
[...] my rather “exciting” previous post, I promised you lovelies a look at the Snapdragon wedding invitations! Before we get to the paper [...]
I was away and missed this post but just wanted to tell you how deeply sorry I am you had to go through this. Your attitude is amazing, and I’m POSITIVE you deserve someone who will love you like you should be loved…. I hope you have a wonderful time with your sister.
So sorry that I missed this post… wow so much went on when I was MIA. I am so sorry to hear and its crappy to say, but everything happens for a reason. You deserve someone who will be with you mind, body, heart and soul and I am sure you will find that person, but you definitely didnt deserve the whole cheating thing.
Keep up the positive attitute and YOU are right, its not about you!!! Cuz you rock
Xoxo lots of hugs!!!
I am so sorry to hear this but at the same time happy for you to find out before the wedding!
I admire your maturity and strength. I wish you tons and tons of happiness and that special someone that will love you the way you should be loved will show up soon. *hugs*
[...] experience of moving towards the altar, and for some brides, that journey gets cut short, which is what happened to me. I have gained what feels like a master’s degree in love recently, and I feel like this merits a [...]
to see your radiant face in the bio and to read this open blog……… I am so happy you dodged that bullet.
Girl YOU DESERVE the best~
Just read this today (new to weddingbee). Hugs and sprinkles of positive energy to you, girlfriend. (Not the creepy stranger kind of hug…..the “I’m your sistah from another motha” kind of hug.)
You sound like an amazing person, and I am so sorry this happened to you. i hope you had a wonderful time with your sister!!
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Miss Snapdragon, Chicago
Age and Occupation: 30, Production Assistant for a Media Firm
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Education Administrator
Wedding Date: June, 2009
Blogging Since: November 14, 2008
Venue: The Hyatt Lodge
About Me: Vintage and crafting obsessed. Voracious reader of short stories, Russian literature, National Geographic and Cosmo. I am a GENIUS at spicing up Weight Watchers recipes and a pathological cheater at board games. A Texan transplanted to the snowy Midwest, I can't wait to marry my one and only. Is it June yet? ... What about now?
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