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Mrs. D'orsay, Baltimore/Lancaster UK Age and Occupation: 24, nonprofit communications Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Web site developer and designer; co-owner of men's skincare shop Engagement Date: August 10, 2008 Wedding Date: August, 2009 Venue: Oakland Manor About Me: I'm a Maryland raised environmental policy wonk/activist/organizer and communications aficionado. In the past year I've lived in Baltimore, MD, Tucson, AZ, Miami, FL and Lancaster, England. In my not so spare time I enjoy planning trips with Mr. D' Orsay, visiting friends and family and crafting like a mo-fo. I also enjoy modern dance classes, rugby and soccer but have been banned by my mother, MOHs, and Mr. D' Orsay from playing till after the wedding. I have an unnatural addiction to cheese and shoes, but love Mr. D' Orsay more than either and can't wait to become Mrs. D' Orsay!
About Mrs. D'orsay

Oh Contracts…

February 23rd, 2009 @ 4:19 pm by Mrs. D'orsay

How I love/hate thee, let me count the ways… Since I’m stuck several thousand miles away from our wedding location and I can’t stomach $2 a minute phone calls, my father has been left in charge of sorting out the contract for the caterer.

Neither Mr. D or I are as eagled eyed as we should be, so it’s helpful that my dad is an ace at contracts; he checks them thoroughly, reviews statutes from the attorney general’s office etc before signing anything. He is your average “measure thrice, cut once” kind of guy - except it usually ends up “measure 10 times, cut once”. While this process has proved helpful with checking over apartment rental agreements and such, it’s been a bit different with the wedding.

There were a few problems in the original catering contract that worried my father. His main concerns were that although the catering company had the necessary amount of insurance if anything were to happen, would we personally need an additional insurance policy because we would be the ones sued in case of a terrible accident. Also, if for some reason the catering company cancels on us or they close their business, we lose our substantial deposit. These were just the tip of the iceberg for my dad, so he set about making revisions and emailing contracts back and forth between the catering company.

Although it hasn’t been fully sorted yet, I was wondering if anyone else has gone though something similar? Did you accept most of your contracts as is or did you make revisions to them?

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18 Responses to “Oh Contracts…”

1.
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Bee
Miss Bruschetta (message)  5,565 posts, Bee Keeper

I admire your father’s attention to detail! For the most part, we went as is — negotiations in pricing and payment schedules are probably the only exceptions.

 
2.
grumpybear722
Member
grumpybear722 (message)  553 posts, Busy bee

Wow, I wish we were that attentive! We’ve had FI’s Dad look over things but he ended up wigging out about things I could care less about (if we want furniture moved we have to pay $300 - That’s fine for us, but he nearly blew a gasket - oh well!). For most things we just look over it, make sure it sounds right and we won’t be screwed and sign it! haha
We have one contract that I want a revision on - our DJ has times listed but which will cover the ceremony, cocktail hour and reception but the contract says “Wedding reception”. We want that reworded to say “Ceremony, and reception” just to be safe! We haven’t even negotiated pricing but that’s because nobody is charging arms & legs. (We have been INCREDIBLY lucky in the vendor department [knocks on wood]).

 
3.
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Guest
Lara

Interesting (for me) that you should post this, the contract for the caterers/reception hall is going to be my first stab at negotiation. They want a significant deposit sent in a year in advance, and then even more money in three months. I REALLY do not like the idea of parting with so much money so far in advance, not in this economy. There’s no guarantees; something could happen to our jobs in a years time, or something could happen to the hall and then we’d be out so much cash. Hopefully it will go well, I think it’s a pretty reasonable request but we’ll see…

 
4.
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Robin

Most people just sign contracts and don’t think twice. For the most part this works perfectly well. He is correct though that, god forbid, anything should happen you guys would be on the hook. What you have to consider is how likely that will happen. The major accident is less likely but the non-refundable deposit is, unfortunately, a real possibility in this economy. Look at what you can live with and what you think you really need to change. (This is where a professional really comes in handy) Most of the time small companies are willing to change the contract for you but large companies (such as major hotel chains) must follow the contract given to them by their corporate legal counsel.

When it is all said and done, go with your gut and don’t feel like you have to change everything but make sure you get what you think is important!

 
5.
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Guest
Robin

@Lara:

Lara, this is the perfect economy to negotiate! As long as your demands aren’t outrageous, most places will do whatever it takes to get you in the door. Ask for a partially refundable deposit. Or if they will spread the deposit and payments out a bit more. Most companies will work with you. Those that won’t may need another look. If they are inflexible while trying to get you in the door, how are they going to be once they have your money?

 
6.
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Guest
sally

SKYPE!!!!

 
7.
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Guest
cheery

I substantially negotiated my reception/venue contract (which includes the food) and less substantially negotiated the other vendor contracts — probably not surprising since I negotiate contracts for a living :-) I would recommend including any verbal promises made into the written contract, and also making sure the contract clearly spells out what happens in the event of a cancellation by the vendor. There are a lot of great lists out there in various wedding books and on websites to serve as a general guideline of what each contract should included at a minimum. As for the insurance issue, we’re responsible to indemnify our venue in the event they’re sued as the result of our event. While we’ve made sure our vendors have the appropriate liability insurance, we will also get additional coverage specifically for the event. The cost of such insurance is likely minimal in contrast to the amount of personal liability to which you could potentially be exposed.

 
8.
amy77jc
Member
amy77jc (message)  276 posts, Helper bee

I’ve been making slight revisions since i’ve been trying to negotiate all my vendors Down :)

 
9.
LatteLove
Hostess
LatteLove (message)  5,587 posts, Bee Keeper

I’ve been making slight revisions to my catering contract but nothing severe. Good for you and your dad for being so conscientious!

 
10.
BeachBrideT
Hostess
BeachBrideT (message)  1,052 posts, Bumble bee

The main changes that I’ve been making are to ensure that we receive our deposits back if their services aren’t used for any reasons other than we cancel or back out. So we get our money back in case of disaster, their company closes, force majure, etc.
In terms of negotiating, we have done a lot of negotiating with our photographer, videographer and florist! LOTS! Asked for more elements in the package, customized packages, and cheaper rates, etc etc etc.

 
11.
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Bee
Miss Piglet (message)  1,045 posts, Bumble bee

I’m horrible with negotiating! Thankfully, the Mr does a better job. Both of us, unfortunately, lack the attention to detail your pops has. That said, we have made revisions to contracts, but nothing too substantial. Mainly, adding parameters/specific services for vendors whose contracts were somewhat vague.

 
12.
MightySapphire
Hostess
MightySapphire (message)  7,632 posts, Bee Keeper

I’m in the process of negotiating my photography contract because I don’t want them to be able to publish our photos or use them in contests or anything. When I mentioned that to my photog she said she really wanted to talk to me about that…something about that seemed to spook her!

 
13.
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Guest
rhodeygirl

oh we revised our venue/catering (it’s a hotel) contract several times before coming to an agreement! obviously the companies write the contracts in their own favor. we had them rewrite it to work for both parties.

 
14.
MrsSl82be
Member
MrsSl82be (message)  7,970 posts, Bee Keeper

We actually haven’t contracted anything yet….but I will definitely negotiate if I see the need. I also plan on getting wedding insurance for piece of mind. Its pretty inexpensive and covers for that day you need it. You never know what could happen, and I’m willing to pay an extra couple hundred bucks just in case (theres a lot of steps and no elevator, and we have some older relatives coming - anything can happen)

 
15.
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Bee
Miss Cloud (message)  802 posts, Busy bee

Giiiiirl I could have written this one! My dad has gone over, and over, and over, EVERY SINGLE CONTRACT we have signed (and sent them to lawyers to look at..) While I get a little upset about it sometimes, because I just want to sign and book my dream vendor, he is looking things over and I’m terrified someone is going to snatch them up!
It has been worth it in the end though, we have gotten some specific issues worked out that I wouldnt have noticed but could come back to bite us later!

 
16.
Jellybean77
Member
Jellybean77 (message)  78 posts, Worker bee

as an attorney, i go through each contract with a magnifying glass!

 
17.
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Bee
Miss Hot Cocoa (message)  2,077 posts, Buzzing bee

You should definitely revise the contract — though expect a little back and forth. I rarely sign any contract without striking a few sentences; I hate getting caught in standard adhesion contracts. But then again, I’m a lawyer . . . .

 
18.
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Guest
Aylee of AyleeBits.com

Ahh…contracts. I hate dealing with them, but I know I still have a lot to go through in this wedding planning of ours. We did ask for revisions to our venue/catering contract.

 

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Mrs. D'orsay
Mrs. D

Mrs. D'orsay, Baltimore/Lancaster UK Age and Occupation: 24, nonprofit communications Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Web site developer and designer; co-owner of men's skincare shop Engagement Date: August 10, 2008 Wedding Date: August, 2009 Venue: Oakland Manor About Me: I'm a Maryland raised environmental policy wonk/activist/organizer and communications aficionado. In the past year I've lived in Baltimore, MD, Tucson, AZ, Miami, FL and Lancaster, England. In my not so spare time I enjoy planning trips with Mr. D' Orsay, visiting friends and family and crafting like a mo-fo. I also enjoy modern dance classes, rugby and soccer but have been banned by my mother, MOHs, and Mr. D' Orsay from playing till after the wedding. I have an unnatural addiction to cheese and shoes, but love Mr. D' Orsay more than either and can't wait to become Mrs. D' Orsay!

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