Wedding Blog

A few hours before the wedding ceremony, I was spazzing out to my bridesmaids and Mr. Candy Corn’s mom. I couldn’t stop asking her for hugs because I was so nervous, I thought I was going to poo. Yes folks, when I get really nervous before a job interview or an event where I am in the spotlight (*cough* bridal shower *cough*), the stomach cramps start to come and I have to fight the urge to “drop the kids off at the pool.” Luckily, my stomach eventually got over the nervous jitters and there were no bowel movements in the bridal department (sorry, probably TMI). Although, I probably drained my wookie about three times during the hour leading up to our ceremony because I was so anxious.

This is a hilarious portrait of how nervous I was at the time. Just look at that poor mug of mine. I so badly wanted the room to be invaded by a parade of puppies so I could think warm, fuzzy, non-nervous thoughts. I couldn’t stop bopping around, trying to take my mind off the fact that in a few hours I would be walking down the aisle in front of nearly everyone I knew. If you haven’t figured it out already, I don’t handle being the center of attention very well.

Ahhh, breathe deep. Think happy Georgia O’Keefe thoughts. Being surrounded by beautiful blooms definitely helped me relax a bit, and I have our lovely florist to thank for that.

The moms and grandmothers were given corsages, which took me back to my prom days… oh wait, scratch that, I didn’t go to prom! It took me back to what I’d imagine prom to be like, though!

I was thrilled with the final result of the bridesmaid bouquets, which blended blue hydrangeas, freesia and green berries beautifully.

Finally, a distraction! After a few light knocks, my bridesmaids opened the door to find Mr. Candy Corn’s two younger brothers sneakily standing there. I should probably mention that any time there was a knock on the door, a flurry of squeals echoed in the gals’ room (mostly my doing), out of fear that the groom had somehow stumbled on our secret hideout and was trying to sneak a peek before the ceremony. It turns out that Mr. Candy Corn’s little brothers were there to deliver my wedding gift from the groom, which was sweetly wrapped with our wedding colors.

I unraveled the blue and brown tissue paper to find a gorgeous necklace staring back at me—one that I had been admiring at Anthropologie for months (which the hubs-to-be wasn’t even aware of!). I was so touched that he knew me so well, although I guess I shouldn’t be surprised since we are kind of inseparable, in a nauseating sort of way.

Then I realized there was another gift waiting to be found at the bottom of the bag—a shimmering silver journal with sweet bird embellishments. I unwound the leather ribbon to find a short message from Mr. Candy Corn:

“Miss Candy Corn,

This may seem like an odd and silly gift, but I wanted somewhere to put down our memories of Italy.

I love you,
Mr. Candy Corn”

Even though our honeymoon has been postponed until we can afford it, I still keep this journal out on our bookcase because seeing it every day makes me smile (I’m a sappy nerd, I know).

But wait, there was another knock at the door (this time a much louder, manlier knock, if there ever was such a thing)! My brother was sheepishly grinning on the other side, with what appeared to be a large gift for yours truly! At this point I was feeling terribly guilty since I had only given Mr. Candy Corn a simple shaving kit as his wedding present, because we had agreed on exchanging small gifts. I looked at the shape of the present and immediately started squealing inside at the thought of getting the book I had been ogling over for nearly a year, but could never justify spending the money on, especially with a wedding to save for. (Note the oh-my-gosh-this-is-so-exciting-I-have-a-double-chin expression.)

This was exactly the type of distraction I needed to calm my nerves a bit before the ceremony. Charley Harper’s illustrations have not only inspired my artwork, but certainly lent a hand in our decision to have a bird-themed wedding.

These two pages were especially fitting for our blue & brown bird theme. I couldn’t help but grin and think about what was going to happen in just a few hours… and that’s when the giddy nervousness came rolling right back into Weddingtown.

My parents and grandmother arrived late after getting a bit lost in Philadelphia (I swear having no sense of direction runs in my genes), but I caught them up on the recent happenings and tried my best to pin their corsages on. This was around the time when I realized I missed a valuable life lesson by not being stabbed by my prom date and learning to pin a corsage (now that I think of it, I should have opted for wristlets). I quickly passed the pinning duties onto my much more knowledgeable sister-in-law.

My mom was jive talkin’ me and requested that I pose for a fake “I’m pinning on my mom’s corsage because I’m such a darling daughter” photo. You can tell that I was not feeling it, but I soon obliged nonetheless.

Now for the formal bridal shots! This one was taken in the beautiful Warden Garden, which was restored to its original 1899 Italianate style and features a reflecting pond, a bronze statue of the satyr Marsyas and dramatic stairs that lead to the third floor, where our ceremony and reception was held.

Here are my favorite ladies on the main stairs of the garden, where we would be posing for photos again immediately following the ceremony.

I believe this was actually one of those sincere, candid moments where I glanced back at my bridesmaids for that little bit of extra comfort I needed.

At this point I was just happy that my bouquet wasn’t causing me to break out in an allergic reaction (flowers + me = achoo!).

Okay, so this shot, is not so sincere. This was another one of those goofy, “Hey! let’s-pretend-that-something-amusing-just-happened-because-I’m-too-flustered-to-come-up-with-a-creative-bridesmaid-portrait-pose!” moments.

We definitely could have taken a lot more candid shots of us all hanging out around the museum, but I was so excited and giddy that I just stood there grinning like a goon, clutching my hydrangeas with white knuckles.

I counted on my bridesmaids to spice things up a bit—they decided it would be funny if they turned me into a human stamen by surrounding my head with their bouquets. This definitely makes me giggle every time I look at it.

After getting word that the boys were back in their secluded room, we decided to make our way to the inner courtyard, where I attempted to master walking in heels on wet grass, and proceeded to fail miserably. Every time I tried to walk on the balls of my feet, I still managed to sink into the mud and stumble around like a drag queen who had just tried on her first pair of heels (subtle Real World reference anyone?). Least graceful bride ever. My maid of honor was so amazing and immediately swooped in to clean off my kitten heels, which were caked with mud by the time we reached the sidewalk. I’m the kind of girl that wipes her freshly-washed hands on her pants instead of waiting in line for the hand dryer, so I had to resist my initial urge to just wipe my heels on whatever was at my disposal.

The UPenn Museum is a gathering for students who can often be found huddled in groups, scribbling about ancient artifacts in their notebooks. On this particular Sunday afternoon, we spotted several college students who were staring at us from the windows above, and decided we should freak them out by waving at them with the utmost choreographed enthusiasm. 1… 2… 3… and WAVE FRANTICALLY!!! Yeah, it totally startled them and definitely made the walk in the unmanageable mud worth it. Success!

We soon headed over to the “Surviving: The Body of Evidence” exhibit, which had casts of hominid skulls and taxidermied birds on display.

This might not be the ideal setting for most brides, but I was absolutely thrilled to be surrounded with such a strong sense of history… not to mention having the always-handsome Charles Darwin by my side (I have a thing for mutton chops).

Nothing to wake a girl up like a little corn muffin grabbin’ from the maid of honor. Have you been counting how many times boobies have been mishandled thus far in my recaps? I’m pretty sure I’m breaking a record here. Anyway, you can tell from my unfortunate “oh no she di’int” expression that I was not expecting that brief, but welcome, interruption.

After the last group photo of the bridal party was snapped in the Lower Egyptian Gallery, I was nearing my final hour as a single lady. I was clueless to the fact that in less than an hour, as my bridesmaids were about to make their way down the aisle, I would suddenly realize that I had made a terrible mistake…

All photos by Miss Laura Kicey.

Our Candy Corny Lovefest: The Bachelorette Party (Rated PG-13 For Brief Chocolate Nudity)
Our Candy Corny Lovefest: Our Rehearsal Dinner (The Last Supper As A Single Lady!)
Our Candy Corny Lovefest: Bridal Bouffants and Blushing Bridesmaids and Boobie Grabbing! Oh, My!
Our Candy Corny Lovefest: The Girlies Get Gussied Up
Our Candy Corny Lovefest: The Girls Hitch A Ride In A Limo!
Our Candy Corny Lovefest: The Guys Get Ready At The Museum