Weddingbee Blog

Wedding planning and the preparation for a transition into a new chapter of life is stressful. We learn to balance it along with our regular lives of work, school, family, and everything else going on. We have our to-do lists, countdowns, Excel spreadsheets, and the plan in place to make sure that everything happens without a blip on the radar. This described me; I had lots going on, but I had a schedule, a routine, and plan to get it all done. And then came this thing called “life” that messed with my carefully organized plan.

I’m having surgery today, but let me back up and start at the beginning.

In December I went in for my routine physical and my blood tests came back abnormal. I had an extremely high level of blood platelets, specifically I had 1.6 million, when normal is between 100,000-400,000. Your platelets are what make your blood clot, so I was at risk for clotting, heart attack, stroke, and also bleeding, when so many platelets will become ineffective. Basically, to make a long story short, I was immediately placed on a mild form of chemotherapy in pill form to lower my platelet levels. It’s not the traditional form you think of that causes you to lose hair, but it lowered my red blood and white blood count, along with my energy and immunity. I had to be careful about coming in contact with any germs and be constantly aware of my energy levels.

To determine what was happening with my blood I underwent blood tests, ultrasounds, a bone marrow biopsy and a CAT scan. From the bone marrow biopsy they were able to determine that I did not have a life threatening cancer or other disease, but that something was wrong with the production of my blood from the bone marrow.

They have been looking at a possible diagnosis of something that is life-long with no cure, but is manageable with doctors and continued medication. I won’t get into all the medical language, but if you are going to have a bone marrow disorder, it is the best one to have.

In the process of figuring out what was going on with my blood and bone marrow, they discovered a dermoid cyst in my ovary. It is unclear whether or not it is related to the blood issues, but either way it is needs to be removed because of other risks. I’m hopeful that this will solve the problem and avoid the diagnosis of this other disorder, but the doctors have mixed opinions. They’ve never seen a cyst cause this sort of reaction, but they won’t fully know until they run more tests after surgery. Until then, we will be hoping that this surgery is the answer.

So, basically I am having surgery today to remove the cyst. Crazy, right? It is a laparoscopic surgery, unless the cyst is too difficult to remove, in which case they will have to make a larger incision. The actual surgery will be early in the morning and hopefully I’ll be able to go home by this evening, as long as there are no complications.

Despite all the craziness of the situation, I’ve been very blessed in so many ways. My bosses at my different jobs have been so understanding and flexible with me when I’ve needed to miss work to go to all the medical appointments. My professors have also been great and allowed me to reschedule as necessary and have been supportive. I have an awesome medical team and my hematogist/oncologist is truly one of the best. He really goes out of his way to make sure that I understand what is happening and that I’m comfortable. Mr. Ducky, family, and friends have been such a source of strength and support. I’ve really tried to stay positive and take it one step at a time, and am trusting God.

How does this relate to wedding planning? I’ve had to let go of the control and detailed plan I started with. The last two months have been filled with medical appointments, tests and various other things. We were supposed to take our engagement pictures and have our Save the Dates out by the beginning of February. We even rescheduled an engagement session for today that obviously had to be canceled. I have no idea when we will be able to do them since our photographer is from Northern California and isn’t down here too often. I could name several other things that just have not gotten done. Is it stressful if I think about it too much? Yes. Does it truly matter? No. Things will get done, people will remember the date of our wedding and most importantly, we will get married no matter what.

At the end of the day what matters is that I will be marrying a man that is absolutely amazing and I am head over heels in love with him. He has been my rock and support during this whole process. While I wouldn’t have chosen to experience these problems, Mr. Ducky and I are walking away stronger. I know that he loves me no matter what and will do whatever it take just to make me smile and find hope when all I feel is fear. We are taking care of that whole “in sickness and in health” issue now, and I never will doubt his love when I hit rock bottom.

So will wedding planning still go on? Yes, of course, and it’s already been a great source of relief and distraction when I get to plan and look for new sources of inspiration. However, I’ve had to let go of some of those plans, lists, schedules and dates. It will eventually get done. I have had to allow for “life” to happen and move on. Because at the end of the day, I am truly blessed, and it doesn’t matter if I get married in a pizza parlor. I will be marrying Mr. Ducky and that is what matters.

Thanks for reading through this long post. You all are an amazing source of encouragement and support and I’m so grateful for the community of Weddingbee. We really are accomplishing more than just simply planning our weddings together. I’ll try to check in this weekend and let you all know how surgery went.

xoxo
Miss Duckling

Has some part of “life” gotten in the way of your plans? How did you deal with it?