Wedding Blog
Mr. Joey and I have been dating for a little over 4 years, but have known each other for almost 5 years. We met when we both worked at EMP. I had just left my job and DC, and was planning to spend the summer in Seattle before heading to grad school in England. I had such a rewarding but stressful job in DC and was looking for something fun and super easy for the summer. I got a job as a Guest Services Representative (slave with light labor) and started the following Monday.
I remember the first time I saw Mr. Joey. I thought, “Hmm, he’s cute and I could see myself liking him.” Of course I was trying to be practical and decided I wouldn’t date anyone over the summer. Mr. Joey was a great friend to make. I really enjoyed our time together that summer as friends. Dating wasn’t really an option then as he was dating someone already and I ended up having a nice summer fling. That’s practical right?
Mr. Joey and I left EMP on the same day. While I was headed over the Atlantic, he was headed to St. John’s University in New York. We parted ways but promised to stay in touch. Over the next several months we shared a lot of emails. I really valued his emails and though he didn’t know it, he helped me get through the initial adjustment to Manchester a lot. Moving to England isn’t as easy as one might think. I kept myself sane between Katie, Mr. Joey and my friends at the Cafe I worked part-time at.
We were both headed home for Christmas and arranged to do a little gift swap over dinner.
One dinner turned into a few dinners. He was still with his girlfriend who was in New York, and actually, the dinners weren’t romantic in any way. One night he told me it wasn’t working out between him and girlfriend and he had planned to break up with her when he got back. I was a little shocked but also didn’t think the news would affect me much. A few nights later, on Boxing Day, we hung out with some old EMP friends and fell asleep together on the couch. There was no kissing or anything, just a nice night of sleep and snuggling for warmth. It was FREAKIN’ cold. I have never been so cold in my life!
The next day we decided there was something between us and attempted to talk about it over lunch. Not much was eaten. I told him I thought he needed to figure things out with his girlfriend before we could move forward but that I would be happy with whatever decision he made — being together (over an ocean) or just staying friends. He said he knew what he wanted but I knew that could change when he got back. Well, I was wrong. He ended it with his girlfriend the day after he got back to New York and we’ve been together (sort of) ever since. We did spend the first 6 months with the Atlantic between us and months 9 - 18 living apart with me in DC and him in Brooklyn. God bless the Chinatown bus!
We’re not proud of the fact that someone got hurt in all this but we are finally to place where we aren’t apologizing for it either. Things happen for a reason. What will be will be and all that. I think it worked out in the end.
The happy couple on our first trip together. Isn’t Lake Louise stunning!?
Did the beginning of your relationship together have some complications?
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Share this post: The Meeting and Becomings of the Joeys…
Is your mister’s name Joey? 
I wish you both weren’t so shadowy and dark in the picture! But I think it’s a wonderful twist of fate that you found each other, stayed friends and eventually got together as a couple — cute story!
Yes, we (I) also hurt someone in the process. Took a while to get over the guilt (like 2 years!) but we are now happily married and like you said, everything happens for a reason. It was not only the best decision I’ve ever made it was also life defining. Taking a risk and listening to your heart.
HAHA. We met in the middle of my FIs divorce. So it’s not so much that I caused any hurt as I was blamed for it. WRONGLY. Women are evil.
The Chinatown bus is a godsend! Between visiting friends and an LDR, it made moving from the Midwest much less lonely and scary (and expensive!)
This is a bit random, but the Albertan in me is really excited about your picture of Lake Louise! I do agree that it is beautiful!
I was still with my long-distance then-boyfriend when my FI and I started to become more than friends. But that relationship wasn’t working well, and I think FI helped me realize that I could do better. We also had a period of e-mail-only communication right in the beginning of our relationship, while I was away for two months.
My mister and I also used the Chinatown bus to see each other when I was in Philly and he was in New York! Thanks for sharing your story 
I don’t know if I ever mentioned this on Weddingbee, but I was actually seeing someone when Mr. Cupcake and I met. It was very casual — we had gone out on a few dates and were starting to hang out more — but as soon as I met Mr. Cupcake I knew that he was more the type of guy that I felt more like myself around, and more the type of guy I could see myself being with for a long time.
Mr. Cupcake called me 4 days after we met to make plans for our first “official” date. After I got off the phone with him, I immediately called up the other guy and told him it wasn’t going to work out between us! Haha…. I felt bad, but I guess something in my gut just knew that Mr. Cupcake was the one.
I love your story! and to answer you question, YES my Fiance and I had uber complications when we met! The first of the complications was the fact that one of my friends was madly in love with him, and had been since high school–so, for over 8 years she had this ridiculous crush on him although they had never dated and he had interest. To make a long story short, she moved and we lost contact making it OK for us to start dating (because we had wanted to for months). Complication #2…We worked together in the same restaurant. No biggie right? Restaurant romances are common, BUT he was my BOSS. Not directly, but still my superior. He, the kitchen manager, and I, the server. We knew from the get go that I was going to have to quit. He (at this point) had held this position for 6 years and I for about 2. It just made more sense for me to be the one to leave. So, I did. A few months later the CEO of the corporation asked why I left. My Fiance told him, and he was furious because we didn’t come to him and let us know about the “fraternization” and told him that he would give a one-time approval for our relationship in the workplace because he didn’t want to lose me. In fact he wanted me to come back and become a manager at the restaurant! So, Ladies and Gents, for the first 2 years of our relationship my fiance has been my boss. WOW that gets complicated. Just 3 weeks ago the restaurant unexpectedly closed (2 days after he bought my ring and proposed), leaving our entire household jobless, and jobhunting. Will we function with the same dynamic in our relationship now that we will be working separately? I would be fibbing if I told you that I wasn’t nervous about it
We didn’t have any complications, but rather, my boyfriend and I had an unconvential beginning. We had lived in the same town, but since I was older, we never really hung out (we knew of each other though, and later found out we had both thought the other was cute, but figured we never had a chance). Fast forward several years later, he transfers to my college. We had both suffered a bad breakup at about the same time, and since he really didn’t know anyone in town, I figured he could use a friend.
So we went to a few parties together, ending up hooking up, becoming the whole friends with benefits thing. We just had really good chemistry from the moment we started hanging out, so it was about two weeks later that we started wondering, maybe we could be more than FIB’s.
so about about a week later, after going through an agonizing, “Well, what do you want?” “IDK, what do you want” “IDK, probably what you want.” We decided we would try. And even though we’ve had our ups and downs, the ups greatly outweigh and we are so happy for our unusal beginning.
Like several other women have said, I too ran into some complications and hurt someone else in the process. I had a list of reasons I couldn’t be with Mr Bananas, not the least of which was a long distance boyfriend at the time who was in Italy for the semester. Additionally, I was going to be at school for the summer while he was home in Maryland, then I was going to be in London for fall semester while he was at school, then we would both be back for spring, but then he was graduating and moving to Virginia while I still had another year of school. Well, long story short, I ended it with the then bf (and am still getting over feeling guilty about that), and through the separations, we have persevered I joined him in VA last fall Like others have said, everything happens for a reason.
@ Magpie518: His name isn’t Joey. The reason I picked Joey will revealed in time:)
@ Ali: I think it took me at least 3 years to get over what happened and it didn’t help that his ex moved back to Seattle shortly after we did and we ran into her once. Ouch!
@ missbean: I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED Banff and Lake Louise. We considered going back for our honeymoon.
I didn’t mention that Mr. Joey’s ex was living with him at the time we got together. It took 3 LONG weeks for her to get and place and move out because of the snow. That was really rough!
Totally sketchy beginning for us! No one really got hurt, but my FI is a few years younger and was still, ahem, playing twister with other people. I had just moved to town and thought it was a fun thing with a younger guy that wouldn’t last…but here we are three and half years later! It all came crashing down with what we call the “night of the drama”–I realized the other twister players were there and I was ready to call it a closed chapter. But I could read the feelings all over his face and decided to trust my judgment and give him a chance. Best decision I ever made.
No exes were hurt in the making of “Us,” but my grandparents have a story!
Apparently, my grandma was sixteen and had promised to wait for a young man who was overseas in the military. She knew my grandpa because the town was small and their families sometimes had picnics together.
So when he offered to pick her up from band practice on his bike one day, it didn’t seem like a big deal. But then they kept seeing eachother more and more, and she realized she kind of liked this handsome, witty guy.
Two years later, they got married. In fact, when he passed away this past December, they’d been married for almost 55 years.
Grandma always tells me, “I don’t know what I was thinking. I just got on that bike and was swept away.”
We had complications as well. My FI actually dated my best friend for over a year before. Him and I were casual friends–hung out with the same circle of people. Him and my best friend ended up parting ways amicably. About a year and a half after they broke up him and I started talking constantly. I gave her a heads up, and she was NOT happy. She basically forbid me to see him (guess the cardinal rule for not dating best friend’s ex’s really does sound true). But I prayed about the whole situation and felt like the thing with my now FI was something real, and I shouldn’t pass up the chance to be with the perfect guy for me. When I told her, she basically blew up at me, and we haven’t been friends since. 3 years later, we still aren’t best friends, but things have gotten much more comfortable since then. We treat each other like acquaintances. It still sucks that we ended up hurting her in the end.
@ladyjane: My grandparents also had a story! My grandfather was actually dating my grandmother’s sister! She brought him home one day and he laid eyes on my Gran and that was it! I don’t think he and my great-aunt were terribly serious yet, though.
My Grandpa died just weeks before their 55th anniversary too. That’s an odd coincidence!
You guys look so cute! The first vacaion together is always so magical.
Things do always happen for a reason, I firmly believe that. The only complication we had in the begining of our relationship was the long distance thing, but if there’s a will there’s a way! It worked out in the end
I have a similar situation… I met my FI on a internship when I was still dating someone else. I tried to ignore the feelings I was having, and didn’t break up with that boyfriend until several months after I got back to school that year. I should have ended things sooner but I wasn’t sure I was ready for a long distance relationship, and I thought that there was still hope for the other relationship. I’m still sad that the other guy got hurt, but we remain friends to this day (after a short period of him not talking to me.)
ours was complicated too, but not because either of us were with someone else. But my FI had recently ended a long relationship with someone who…how can i put this nicely?…took her “how to handle a breakup” cues from the movie Fatal Attraction. I never knew her, and i’ve never met her, and thankfully we now live a thousand miles from her. But she used to call my FI at 2am and start crying and asking why they didnt’ work out, and saying she’d follow him wherever he went. Can we say “crazy”? Needless to say I was scared that she’d download all our fb pictures and find me and hurt me, even though I had nothing to do with their breakup and i didn’t even know him then!!
oh god, that was how my ex, and my boyfriend’s ex was ( and still is, over 9 months later). It used to drive me crazy, her constantly texting him “I still love you, blah blah blah,” until I realized that she wasn’t worth my energy and that he had no intention of ever getting back with her.
But in the back of my mind, there is that thought that I`m positive we will run into her over the summer (her grandma lives in our hometown), and she’ll go crazy.
My FI and I took a very very long time to get together. We actually dated each other’s best friends before dating each other! We’re still all friends, my ex (his best friend) is even our Best Man in the wedding! But the time when we started dating was filled with DRAMA. My best friend thought that she and he (FI) were going to get back together while he was really trying to get with me. I knew he liked me and basically had a big long talk with her about it and said that I wouldn’t date him if she didn’t want me to. But she didn’t want to come between anything and gave me her best wishes. For a while it was kinda awkward between us, and I was always careful not to talk too much about FI and I. It wasn’t until we got engaged that we really talked about it again and she was honestly excited for us!
Our complications were more location based, but I did break something off a few weeks before I met Mr.D. I do love the china town bus, but the Mega bus has been stealing my heart lately
I was in a pretty serious relationship when Mr. LatteLove and I met. We both knew there was something between us, but it wasn’t until we were an ocean apart (me in chicago and him studying abroad in Oxford) that I broke up with my X and we finally could admit we’d fallen for eachother.
6 months later he was back on the right side of the pond and it’s been [mostly] bliss ever since!
Ours was a bit complicated in the beginning. I was enjoying being single and had no problem kissing a random guy each weekend (beginning of our sophomore year in college). We were friends and always hanging out together, me a bunch of guys. But although there was attraction it was slow to start because his best friend (since like 1st grade) had a crush on me. A big, awkward, everyone-knows crush. So Mr. Spin felt like he was betraying his friend by even liking me to begin with.
But we talked about it and decided that what was between us was worth pursuing. It was awkward for awhile and some of our friends didn’t really approve because we did change the group dynamic. But they all came around and agreed that yeah, we were perfect for each other.
And actually that friend with the crush on me totally got engaged and married before us. ^_^ So it all worked out ok in the end.
WOW its nice to know that others kinda have a story like ours..MY FI and I ended up meeting just 15 days after I had my daughter and 7 months into a pregnancy with his EX. What is so funny is that he is such a gentleman and kind hearted that he has/had suspicions that the lil boy isnt/wasnt his but he wont get the DNA test because he has fallen in love with him..(How can you fault that). In the end she makes things difficult for US, but we deal, survive and get our son on our days…..I tell him all the time that I wish she was a lil bit more mature about it..They are both 6 years older than me but you’d think i was the oldest.
wow! i guess i should grow up.. well our relationship wasn’t complicated we were both single. BUT he had just gotten out of a two yr relationship. that didn’t bother me bc when we started ours i had no idea she lived (and still does) in the same building, is the same nationality as me (bothers me.. i know weird) and i found pictures of them together on his computer.. even though they ended their relationship saying they couldn’t be friends.. she consisted to text/email him.. and being the nice guy (or maybe male dumbness) he is … he would reply.. of course.. i didn’t take this lightly.. but like Beyonce says “he put a ring on it!”
Haha! Yes I would say our beginnings were pretty complicated and had to be handled with kid gloves. I was engaged to another man when I met my now-husband. I knew the day I met him that he was the guy I was supposed to by marrying. I think, deep down in my gut, I knew that the guy I was engaged to was not right for me. But I managed to convince myself that I could work it out and deal with it. Then my now-hubby showed up and spun my world around. After a difficult (read: HORRIBLE) break-up, becoming estranged from my family, and fielding rumors I cheated (I didn’t) everything worked itself out. I am more happy than I ever could have imagined, I gained my independence from my family yet rebuilt our relationship and managed to keep my dignity. And married the man that was meant for me and I for him. Complicated and risky? Yes. Worth it? Absolutely 100%.
I don’t see it as “hurting” someone else - I see it as freeing her to find the man for her who’ll love her - when Joey clearly didn’t - he discovered he loved YOU! so happy for both of you, Sarah
I met my FI while at a bachelorette party for an acquaintance. The bachelorette was, ahem, making out with one of my guy’s drunken buddies. He said “you better go get your girl”. I said, “she’s not my girl, friend of a friend, let her bridesmaids pull her lips off that dude”. But, over the course of the evening talking with my Justin, lightning struck. I asked him if he wanted to go to the wedding of the smooching bride-to-be with me and he told me that he had a girlfriend. ugh. A month of emailing and he made up an excuse to come to my city to visit, for “business”, of course. And…returned to break up with the girlfriend. Their relationship was already on a steep downhill, but I guess meeting me gave it a little extra push. I don’t feel bad. She treated him awfully and got her due. We did run into her once, and honestly, I felt great about it. You can’t put poison into the world and expect a great thing, a great man, to want to be part of it. We’ve never looked back. Our wedding is June 20th.
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Mrs. Joey, Seattle
Age and Occupation: 28, Project Administrator for Public Health NGO
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, High School History Teacher
Engagement Date: June 24, 2008
Wedding Date: August 2009
Venue: Eastside Catholic Chapel and Lake Union Cafe
About Me: I'm a Seattle girl through and through except for the fact that I don't drink coffee. I love my job most of the time because I get to travel and work with brilliant people who are trying to prevent Malaria. I love DIY projects of all sorts, cooking, and watching sports. I'd wear anything at Anthropologie and could spend all day on Etsy. I love to travel but shouldn't because I always get myself into unbelievable situations!
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