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Mr. Joey and I have been dating for a little over 4 years, but have known each other for almost 5 years. We met when we both worked at EMP. I had just left my job and DC, and was planning to spend the summer in Seattle before heading to grad school in England. I had such a rewarding but stressful job in DC and was looking for something fun and super easy for the summer. I got a job as a Guest Services Representative (slave with light labor) and started the following Monday.
I remember the first time I saw Mr. Joey. I thought, “Hmm, he’s cute and I could see myself liking him.” Of course I was trying to be practical and decided I wouldn’t date anyone over the summer. Mr. Joey was a great friend to make. I really enjoyed our time together that summer as friends. Dating wasn’t really an option then as he was dating someone already and I ended up having a nice summer fling. That’s practical right?
Mr. Joey and I left EMP on the same day. While I was headed over the Atlantic, he was headed to St. John’s University in New York. We parted ways but promised to stay in touch. Over the next several months we shared a lot of emails. I really valued his emails and though he didn’t know it, he helped me get through the initial adjustment to Manchester a lot. Moving to England isn’t as easy as one might think. I kept myself sane between Katie, Mr. Joey and my friends at the Cafe I worked part-time at.
We were both headed home for Christmas and arranged to do a little gift swap over dinner.
One dinner turned into a few dinners. He was still with his girlfriend who was in New York, and actually, the dinners weren’t romantic in any way. One night he told me it wasn’t working out between him and girlfriend and he had planned to break up with her when he got back. I was a little shocked but also didn’t think the news would affect me much. A few nights later, on Boxing Day, we hung out with some old EMP friends and fell asleep together on the couch. There was no kissing or anything, just a nice night of sleep and snuggling for warmth. It was FREAKIN’ cold. I have never been so cold in my life!
The next day we decided there was something between us and attempted to talk about it over lunch. Not much was eaten. I told him I thought he needed to figure things out with his girlfriend before we could move forward but that I would be happy with whatever decision he made — being together (over an ocean) or just staying friends. He said he knew what he wanted but I knew that could change when he got back. Well, I was wrong. He ended it with his girlfriend the day after he got back to New York and we’ve been together (sort of) ever since. We did spend the first 6 months with the Atlantic between us and months 9 - 18 living apart with me in DC and him in Brooklyn. God bless the Chinatown bus!
We’re not proud of the fact that someone got hurt in all this but we are finally to place where we aren’t apologizing for it either. Things happen for a reason. What will be will be and all that. I think it worked out in the end.
The happy couple on our first trip together. Isn’t Lake Louise stunning!?
Did the beginning of your relationship together have some complications?
Is your mister’s name Joey? 
I wish you both weren’t so shadowy and dark in the picture! But I think it’s a wonderful twist of fate that you found each other, stayed friends and eventually got together as a couple — cute story!
Yes, we (I) also hurt someone in the process. Took a while to get over the guilt (like 2 years!) but we are now happily married and like you said, everything happens for a reason. It was not only the best decision I’ve ever made it was also life defining. Taking a risk and listening to your heart.
HAHA. We met in the middle of my FIs divorce. So it’s not so much that I caused any hurt as I was blamed for it. WRONGLY. Women are evil.
The Chinatown bus is a godsend! Between visiting friends and an LDR, it made moving from the Midwest much less lonely and scary (and expensive!)
This is a bit random, but the Albertan in me is really excited about your picture of Lake Louise! I do agree that it is beautiful!
I was still with my long-distance then-boyfriend when my FI and I started to become more than friends. But that relationship wasn’t working well, and I think FI helped me realize that I could do better. We also had a period of e-mail-only communication right in the beginning of our relationship, while I was away for two months.
My mister and I also used the Chinatown bus to see each other when I was in Philly and he was in New York! Thanks for sharing your story 
I don’t know if I ever mentioned this on Weddingbee, but I was actually seeing someone when Mr. Cupcake and I met. It was very casual — we had gone out on a few dates and were starting to hang out more — but as soon as I met Mr. Cupcake I knew that he was more the type of guy that I felt more like myself around, and more the type of guy I could see myself being with for a long time.
Mr. Cupcake called me 4 days after we met to make plans for our first “official” date. After I got off the phone with him, I immediately called up the other guy and told him it wasn’t going to work out between us! Haha…. I felt bad, but I guess something in my gut just knew that Mr. Cupcake was the one.
I love your story! and to answer you question, YES my Fiance and I had uber complications when we met! The first of the complications was the fact that one of my friends was madly in love with him, and had been since high school–so, for over 8 years she had this ridiculous crush on him although they had never dated and he had interest. To make a long story short, she moved and we lost contact making it OK for us to start dating (because we had wanted to for months). Complication #2…We worked together in the same restaurant. No biggie right? Restaurant romances are common, BUT he was my BOSS. Not directly, but still my superior. He, the kitchen manager, and I, the server. We knew from the get go that I was going to have to quit. He (at this point) had held this position for 6 years and I for about 2. It just made more sense for me to be the one to leave. So, I did. A few months later the CEO of the corporation asked why I left. My Fiance told him, and he was furious because we didn’t come to him and let us know about the “fraternization” and told him that he would give a one-time approval for our relationship in the workplace because he didn’t want to lose me. In fact he wanted me to come back and become a manager at the restaurant! So, Ladies and Gents, for the first 2 years of our relationship my fiance has been my boss. WOW that gets complicated. Just 3 weeks ago the restaurant unexpectedly closed (2 days after he bought my ring and proposed), leaving our entire household jobless, and jobhunting. Will we function with the same dynamic in our relationship now that we will be working separately? I would be fibbing if I told you that I wasn’t nervous about it
We didn’t have any complications, but rather, my boyfriend and I had an unconvential beginning. We had lived in the same town, but since I was older, we never really hung out (we knew of each other though, and later found out we had both thought the other was cute, but figured we never had a chance). Fast forward several years later, he transfers to my college. We had both suffered a bad breakup at about the same time, and since he really didn’t know anyone in town, I figured he could use a friend.
So we went to a few parties together, ending up hooking up, becoming the whole friends with benefits thing. We just had really good chemistry from the moment we started hanging out, so it was about two weeks later that we started wondering, maybe we could be more than FIB’s.
so about about a week later, after going through an agonizing, “Well, what do you want?” “IDK, what do you want” “IDK, probably what you want.” We decided we would try. And even though we’ve had our ups and downs, the ups greatly outweigh and we are so happy for our unusal beginning.
Like several other women have said, I too ran into some complications and hurt someone else in the process. I had a list of reasons I couldn’t be with Mr Bananas, not the least of which was a long distance boyfriend at the time who was in Italy for the semester. Additionally, I was going to be at school for the summer while he was home in Maryland, then I was going to be in London for fall semester while he was at school, then we would both be back for spring, but then he was graduating and moving to Virginia while I still had another year of school. Well, long story short, I ended it with the then bf (and am still getting over feeling guilty about that), and through the separations, we have persevered I joined him in VA last fall Like others have said, everything happens for a reason.
@ Magpie518: His name isn’t Joey. The reason I picked Joey will revealed in time:)
@ Ali: I think it took me at least 3 years to get over what happened and it didn’t help that his ex moved back to Seattle shortly after we did and we ran into her once. Ouch!
@ missbean: I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED Banff and Lake Louise. We considered going back for our honeymoon.
I didn’t mention that Mr. Joey’s ex was living with him at the time we got together. It took 3 LONG weeks for her to get and place and move out because of the snow. That was really rough!
Totally sketchy beginning for us! No one really got hurt, but my FI is a few years younger and was still, ahem, playing twister with other people. I had just moved to town and thought it was a fun thing with a younger guy that wouldn’t last…but here we are three and half years later! It all came crashing down with what we call the “night of the drama”–I realized the other twister players were there and I was ready to call it a closed chapter. But I could read the feelings all over his face and decided to trust my judgment and give him a chance. Best decision I ever made.
No exes were hurt in the making of “Us,” but my grandparents have a story!
Apparently, my grandma was sixteen and had promised to wait for a young man who was overseas in the military. She knew my grandpa because the town was small and their families sometimes had picnics together.
So when he offered to pick her up from band practice on his bike one day, it didn’t seem like a big deal. But then they kept seeing eachother more and more, and she realized she kind of liked this handsome, witty guy.
Two years later, they got married. In fact, when he passed away this past December, they’d been married for almost 55 years.
Grandma always tells me, “I don’t know what I was thinking. I just got on that bike and was swept away.”
We had complications as well. My FI actually dated my best friend for over a year before. Him and I were casual friends–hung out with the same circle of people. Him and my best friend ended up parting ways amicably. About a year and a half after they broke up him and I started talking constantly. I gave her a heads up, and she was NOT happy. She basically forbid me to see him (guess the cardinal rule for not dating best friend’s ex’s really does sound true). But I prayed about the whole situation and felt like the thing with my now FI was something real, and I shouldn’t pass up the chance to be with the perfect guy for me. When I told her, she basically blew up at me, and we haven’t been friends since. 3 years later, we still aren’t best friends, but things have gotten much more comfortable since then. We treat each other like acquaintances. It still sucks that we ended up hurting her in the end.
@ladyjane: My grandparents also had a story! My grandfather was actually dating my grandmother’s sister! She brought him home one day and he laid eyes on my Gran and that was it! I don’t think he and my great-aunt were terribly serious yet, though.
My Grandpa died just weeks before their 55th anniversary too. That’s an odd coincidence!
You guys look so cute! The first vacaion together is always so magical.
Things do always happen for a reason, I firmly believe that. The only complication we had in the begining of our relationship was the long distance thing, but if there’s a will there’s a way! It worked out in the end
I have a similar situation… I met my FI on a internship when I was still dating someone else. I tried to ignore the feelings I was having, and didn’t break up with that boyfriend until several months after I got back to school that year. I should have ended things sooner but I wasn’t sure I was ready for a long distance relationship, and I thought that there was still hope for the other relationship. I’m still sad that the other guy got hurt, but we remain friends to this day (after a short period of him not talking to me.)
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Mrs. Joey, Seattle Age and Occupation: 28, Project Administrator for Public Health NGO Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, High School History Teacher Engagement Date: June 24, 2008 Wedding Date: August 2009 Venue: Eastside Catholic Chapel and Lake Union Cafe About Me: I'm a Seattle girl through and through except for the fact that I don't drink coffee. I love my job most of the time because I get to travel and work with brilliant people who are trying to prevent Malaria. I love DIY projects of all sorts, cooking, and watching sports. I'd wear anything at Anthropologie and could spend all day on Etsy. I love to travel but shouldn't because I always get myself into unbelievable situations!
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