Wedding Blog
I am. I’m marrying a music snob. A music snob that doesn’t dance. Mr. Joey is a self-proclaimed music snob who is part of music snob group. That’s what I get for marrying a guy I met at a music museum, I guess.
Luckily for me, he doesn’t criticize anyone’s taste. He knows what he likes and what he doesn’t. There are definitely band and musical genres I like that he doesn’t, but he never says word and doesn’t complain if Brit Rock is playing (Keane, Travis).
What does this have to do with the wedding?
Well, when we started planning, I put him in charge of 3 things: music, drinks, and rehearsal dinner space. He’s been great about the ceremony music. I think he may have already picked out the pieces he wants played. The reception? Well that’s another story all together.
The first problem is the first dance song. Nothing “cliche”, he says. What does that mean? Well, nothing by Sade, Diana Krall (who he loves), Frank Sinatra, or someone similar. Also, I’m pretty sure it means nothing you’ve probably heard on popular radio. I suggested a few classic Beach Boys songs and song by Ryan Adams called When the Stars Go Blue, but he wasn’t too excited about them. Finding a song could be as hard as finding a tie!
The second problem is that he doesn’t know what to do about the dance music. He doesn’t dance, and the songs that he likes that have a good beat to shake your booty to are probably not appropriate for a wedding. I might have to step in and put together the dance mix, but I know he’ll cringe when he hears it.
Is your hubby-to-be a baker, artist, or musician who exhibits a bit of profession-related snobbery? Did that snobbery affect your wedding choices (music, cake, food, invitations)? Did you let him have his way, or come to a compromise?
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oooh, we are considering when stars go blue. I love that song!
Oh, tell me you’re going to be able to get Mr. Joey onto the dance floor!
My FI is just like yours - though he would never admit to being a music snob. He has the same concerns/wishes regarding what songs are played as your FI AND he doesn’t dance either. I suggest all sorts of things and he says things like.. ya we can edit this list later 
Hi Miss Joey–I am so excited to read about a Seattle Bee!
My FI loves rock, particularly AC/DC. We’re basically on the same page about the first dance songs we’re considering, though we haven’t picked on yet. But I already know he wants to play like “Back in Black” immediately after our first dance song. I think he envisions people flooding on to the dance floor in some kind of ceremonial kick-off to the dancing portion of the reception. However, I envision me standing there trying to dance like Angus Young and just looking totally stupid and embarrassed! We’re still working that part out…
Good luck with your music selections!
p.s. did you meet Mr. Joey at the EMP?
Sounds like Mr. Joey and Mr. PT would totally get along!! I finally got him to dance at a friends wedding last year- needless to say we booked the DJ on the spot for our wedding.
Your husband-to-be sounds a lot like my husband, who has a music collection that just plain blows my mind! Oddly, I had the opposite problem — I thought he’d be totally into doing the music for the wedding, but I ended up picking out most of it when he could have done a much better job.
Both my fiance and I are music snobs who miraculously have extremely similar taste in music! Talk about a match made in music heaven!!!
We’re collaborating on what to play at our wedding, including some performances by us!!
Mr.D is a typography snob - I just let him have his way. 
My FI is also a music snob, but what makes him so much worse is he is obsessed with “jam bands,” which isn’t remotely mainstream or wedding-compatible. His favorite bands are the Grateful Dead, Phish, and String Cheese Incident, and I’m sure he would make our entire playlist of just those groups if I let him. I’m trying to find ways to inconspicuously incorporate his music without too much of a hippie vibe.
I also wanted Ryan Adams “When the Stars go Blue” as our first dance song, and he’s just not having it. We’ll see which direction everything turns. Good luck with your music snobs, ladies!
My husband is a music snob. He listens to various obscure music that the masses have never heard. I love his music taste, but I knew that most of it wouldn’t really work with our wedding because people want to dance to stuff they know. When it came to our wedding music I let him pick all of the dinner music. We also chose our first dance song together, the wedding party entrance song, and the ceremony/processional and ceremony/recessional. ;o)
Ha! Mine is a music snob too! Tell us, what are a few of Mr. Joey’s favorite bands? Maybe if we can gauge his tastes we can help you out!!
As a photographer, and as a guy, I am really picky about the photos for my wedding. I’ve gone the route of talking about what photos are important to us, and then delegated it to a trustworthy fellow photog - one who’s style we both like, someone we wanted to invite anyways, and who we’re comfortable working with.
Perhaps ask him if he has someone in his group who can do that for him as well?
@Kara321: Yup, we worked at EMP together
@LzzNYC: Ha! Me too!
@Miss Burgundy: Some are easy to work with like Spoon, Jay-Z and Modest Mouse. But try dancing to the Bad Plus. He likes a lot of stuff, it’s just getting him to admit it. I think he might do a Otis Redding, Jame Brown selection.
uh, i feel ya! kinda on both sides though. I work in the music industry and my fiance is a musician (well, a structural engineer…but also a musician) and we have had the HARDEST time deciding on on reception music. We’ve been back and forth on band vs. DJ so many times i can’t even tell you! Because we love music so much, it makes it so hard to choose. We want something that we will enjoy, but it has to please the crowd too. it’s a tough one!
My FI is a shoe designer. Yep. I’m marrying the holy grail of men. What does that mean for our wedding? That he can see the design flaw in every piece of footwear. Does he say it out loud? Nope (love him!). But I know he’s THINKING it!!
I’m in exactly the same boat! And I want to DANCE at my reception — and not to obscure 80’s punk bands…
I’m a design snob and he’s a music snob! I’m designing our invites and other paper materials…I’m not really holding back, but this is what I do so I refuse to let it be subpar. Sometimes I sit and think about how much $ we could have saved not doing letterpress and our crazy layout format but man oh man, it’s going to be SO worth it. We’ll be putting together our own playlists for the wedding b/c hiring a DJ would probably just be a waste of money (lunch reception = not as much dancing?) plus I know FI will have a laundry list of do not play songs, haha.
My hubby-to-be is a music snob too! He has put himself in charge of reception music, but he keeps coming up with “classics” that haven’t been listened to in years, or bands that I have never heard of! I worry that no one will understand his “superior” tastes, but I am letting him take the reigns, since I get to have final say on most other wedding-related decisions. 
My man HATES country music and anything country related… says he doesn’t want any of it at events… but I tell him he’s got to be more realistic. I grew up in central Illinois, and for most of my family and friends back home, that’s the only thing they KNOW!
OKay so mine isn’t so much a music snob. He loves his music hard rock style. He is a food snob.. UGH.. Let me tell you how hard it has been on our budget and trying to explain to him just how much this will cost us. But really it is his thing and that is what is important to him in this wedding (besides marry me)(that was his reply aww) So I am trying really hard to make it the best.
Mr. G is a food snob. Not because he’s a chef, but cause he loooves to EAT!! He is in charge of our cocktail and reception menus, and he’s been reveling in his little responsibility.
I’m such a music snob. Fiance has designated me to pick the music for the wedding. Basically I spend hours a day in conjunction with KEXP working and reworking our playlist. It’s one of the most fun things about the planning!
Indie is so hard to use for dancing because of the many tempo changes… but there is plenty of good stuff that will work… and we’re using some good old fashioned funk/soul to round it all out.
And please explain to me, because I don’t understand it, but what is up with native Seattle-ites and the lack of dancing? I go to so many shows here, and I feel like I’m the only one getting down on the dance floor!
My fiance can be such a wine snob! I appreciate good, high quality wines, but whenever he likes something and I don’t (like gruner veltliner - ugh!), he acts like it’s because I don’t have a sufficient palate to appreciate it!
My fiance isn’t really what I’d call a music snob, but his taste in music (and mine) run to the electronic / techno / acid / d&b side of things… and I love trip-hop. Needless to say, most of our favorite songs aren’t “wedding dancing” music. The music has been the bane of my existence lately - putting together a list, that is!
eeee, I love that you mentioned Travis. I’m friends with their singer, Fran!
mmmmm and that Ryan Adams song makes me swoon. I know how you feel, Mr. CC was extremely picky about our wedding music, but it just made me happy that he cared so much in the end
oh my god i think our men are twins. i just read your comment about how he likes the bad plus. we must’ve seen them live like 5 times now and he refused to not play them at our wedding (i like them too, but i wasn’t sure how “wedding-friendly” their music would be…turns out it was pretty great for playing during the dinner).
@Mrs. Candy Corn: I love Travis! It’s all that living in England We’ve seen the Bad Plus or 4 times. He’s also a fan of Jason Moran. We’re thinking of Bad Plus as background music as the reception gets started.
Oh yea, my fiance runs our college radio station, so he loves to listen to music that nobody else has heard of, sometimes because it’s not good enough to play on mainstream radio. He is a huge music snob and I’m terrified to give the music to him because I want people to dance at our wedding and the music he listens to is nothing anybody knows.
Isn’t it strange how people like to dance to music they know even if a song they know is good to dance to?
Does he like Ben Folds at all? Try suggesting the luckiest.
it’s great for weddings.
my fiance is also quite the music snob. i had put him in charge of music, and now he has a list and is very specific about what will play at the reception. i think it’s kinda funny
my fiance’s a photo snob (cos he’s a pro photog) so picking a photographer - within our budget - was the trickiest.
he’s also a foodie extraordinaire heh.
@MightySapphire:
does he have a website? that sounds totally exciting! i’m assuming you’re gonna wear one of his designs for yr wedding?
lol yeah Mr Peony is a musician, mostly metal and very hard rock which of course doesn’t really work for the dancing bits. But we’ve decided that he can choose music for the cocktail hour (although toned down for the old folks, we’re playing mainly classic rock) and I’ll pick the more pop/dance stuff for dancing. He does have the power of veto though just in case I choose one too many Britney songs…
@miss_peony: I have pretty much the exact same arrangement with West Coast Groom. He’s still trying to accept the fact that there is NO appropriate time during a wedding day’s festivities for Megadeth. I’m appeasing him with some G&R and Black Label Society and he’s willing to tolerate my Kylie Minogue and Britney.
Ok, could we be marrying the exact same type of guy!? HAHA… that’s EXACTLY what Mr. Caramel is like! A huge music snob. He’s a musician–nothing else. So of course he didn’t like my RENT themed ideas or my cute ideas for playing Britney Spears, or anything else that is semi-popular with the rest of the modern world.
Luckily since we both went to the Celine Dion concert in Vegas, he was able to accept how dancing to one of her songs was “us” related. Maybe you can just try justifying songs that you truly believe represent you both?
I’m a music snob marrying a music snob. He even made me a mix as part of the proposal so we’re already well seasoned in picking out music that reflects our relationship. We’re hiring an alt-country band to play for our reception. I can’t imagine us hiring a dj for our wedding, we’d probably scare them off. We’ve been keeping running folders in our i-tunes for ceremony and dinner music. It’s been one of the most fun aspects of the planning process.
My fiance and I are dancing to;
Into the Mystic by Van Morrison.
We picked this after watching American Wedding where the two main characters chose it as thier first dance song! It’s amazing and NOT cheezy at all. Before that, we had considered All I want is you by U@ (not to be confused with All BECAUSE of you)
Hi my Boyfriend is also a music snob and I found a new band fleet foxes .. they have many good songs maybe you will like one, or antony and the johnstons, or maybe animal collective?? hhee just some sugestions
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Mrs. Joey, Seattle
Age and Occupation: 28, Project Administrator for Public Health NGO
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, High School History Teacher
Engagement Date: June 24, 2008
Wedding Date: August 2009
Venue: Eastside Catholic Chapel and Lake Union Cafe
About Me: I'm a Seattle girl through and through except for the fact that I don't drink coffee. I love my job most of the time because I get to travel and work with brilliant people who are trying to prevent Malaria. I love DIY projects of all sorts, cooking, and watching sports. I'd wear anything at Anthropologie and could spend all day on Etsy. I love to travel but shouldn't because I always get myself into unbelievable situations!
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