Wedding Blog
Last week, Mr. S and I were throwing around more ideas for the groomsmen. We started talking about Chuck Taylors, and how cool they’d look on all of the guys with their tuxes. I continue to see them in more and more weddings, and I love them! I’m even a wee bit obsessed now with the idea.
And look, Converse even makes “our” green. Thanks, Converse! Since the ladies will already be in green shoes, why not have the gents pop as well in some fancy green footwear? To me it’s only logical, but some of the girls aren’t dying to wear green shoes, so I tend to wonder how much the guys will like wearing green shoes as well…
Source: The Feelington Family Blog
We could always go sleek and sophisticated (well, as sophisticated as Chucks can be) and put the guys in black and white Chucks. They still make a statement without the risk of terrifying the guys.
Source: Flickr
Unfortunately, we’re not completely sure if all of the groomsmen would ever really wear their Chucks again. We’re guessing there will be a 50/50 chance. So, do we buy them for the guys as their gift, knowing that they may not ever wear them again? If so, what kind of a gift is that? Or, do we ask each of them to pick up a pair (that they may never wear again)? I mean, it seems to be OK to ask the girls to buy shoes, but is it not OK to ask the guys to do the same?
What’s the etiquette here?! The little angel on my shoulder tells me that answer is to not buy or make them buy shoes that they would not want to wear. I’m choosing to listen to the other shoulder for the time being.
Chucks seem to run around $40, so they’re not super expensive if we asked every guy to buy a pair. But if we bought them for the guys, this would probably be our only gift to them. Mr. S really wants to wear them, and he could just wear them and have the guys wear regular black dress shoes… but where’s the fun in that?!
What would you do? Gift the Chucks, ask the guys to buy them on their own, or have your groom wear the Chucks and the rest of the guys wear their own dress shoes?
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Share this post: Should We Just CHUCK It?
Another option is to help defray the costs a bit ($20 or so per guy).
Ask them to buy them, or if you really are not comfortable, just have the groom wear the Chucks.
It is expected that the girls buy the shoes to go with their dress. I don’t think it is a big deal to have the guys do the same, since they are not that expensive either.
I love the green Chucks! 
I would ask the guys to buy them. As you mentioned they are not super expensive and how many women have tons of dresses they’re were forced to buy (and not for $40) that they will never ever wear again. I don’t think it’s a lot to ask at that price. If you sense resistance then offer to buy them and make it the only gift. I do think they should all wear them though for the right effect!
I struggled with this, too. We asked our groomsmen to pay suits, and even though we kept costs low, and bought their ties and shirts, I felt guilty. But then I said, whatever! My friends are paying way more than this!
Is it that those guys never wear sneakers, or is it Chucks in particular? I don’t own them but I would wear them if someone bought them for me. Groomsmen are tough to shop for. Sleep on the shoe idea for a while and if you still really want it, make it their gift. Then get them a bottle of their favorite liqour, too. That should balance it out.
In all honesty, I think maybe buy both the gals and the guys their shoes. It’s not the greatest gift because it’s not really personal (in fact some may or already do not like the idea). Then supplement the gifts with something small and super personal. The greatest presents are heartfelt and don’t need to be super expensive.
But, yeh, if you didn’t get it, I love the green and I think it would be awesome if both sides wore it. And honestly, I think the guys probably would slap those babies on at least one more time. They’re sneakers after all. You can do yardwork or something in them.
I really wanted the guys to wear Chucks but Mr. Joey wasn’t interested in that idea.
We were just talking about this. We decided to just put the ring bearers in Chucks and let the groomsman bring their own shoes. They have to pay for the their suits and the bridesmaids have to pay for their dresses. I only think that it is equally fair to have them pay for their shoes or bring their own. Also, I would ask them if they would wear the shoes again….
they’re so cute! yea i don’t think either decision is terrible - honestly my bridesmaids are spending so much i wouldn’t have a problem asking the groomsmen to get a cute accessory of some sort. i guess ask your fh - he knows his groomsmen best.. yea?
What about some fun green socks instead? I don’t think they should count as a gift if the gentlemen won’t wear them again. My fh brings up the silver tie he got as a “gift” to wear in a wedding whenever we talk about wedding party gifts. He wants to get his guys something they’ll like.
If they aren’t the kind to wear the Chucks again, I wouldn’t bother gifting them, particularly in the green. Girls are a lot more likely to find a use for colorful shoes than most guys are.
I love the green shoes for the men! Are you having them rent tuxes, and shoes? Or provide their own shoes and suit? If they have to rent shoes anyway, perhaps supplement the additional cost of the chucks over the cost of the rentals? That way they don’t have to wear shoes that anyone else wore and it won’t be a bigger burden on them. A win-win all around.
If you really want the guys to wear them and know that they probably wont wear them again I would gift them to the guys. Just having the Mr. S wear them and the rest of the guys wear shoes might not look good
Well we are doing chucks as well, but since we don’t have a wedding party it is just FH and my son wearing them. We are getting blue. Look on amazon for discounted pairs or check out Marshall’s I saw some there last night.
I love chucks! Maybe see if Mr. Stiletto can ask around and see what the guy’s response is… they might love to have a fun pair of chucks in their closet! They will look super cute with the girls green shoes!
Your wedding is so similar to mine (green black and white)! Our guys are wearing chucks and that’s FH’s gift to them. We know that they’ll wear them again though (most of them are excited they’re getting a ‘free’ pair of shoes! haha)
My fiance is getting his groomsmen customized Chucks as gifts! You can choose the colors and add their names. If you go this route, you could just make the tongue or the back strip of the shoe green for a hint of your color. I also like the idea of fun green socks!
I think if you’re requiring the guys to wear a certain type of shoes that they’ll never wear again, you should buy them. I think that’s true of anything beyond the suit for guys and the dress for girls- you want it, you pay for it.
In the very early days of our engagement, my husband and I considered eloping. If we had, I was ready to order custom Chucks with our wedding date inscribed on them. They’d have made a great keepsake!
Poll your guys and see what they think. (What a cop-out answer!) I imagine most of them (if not all) would be willing to play along for a day, even if Chucks aren’t their style, and it never hurts to ask.
And if they aren’t thrilled by the idea, your groom can always get a pair to wear at the reception! Who says the bride’s the only one who can switch shoes between the ceremony and dinner?
We are doing the same and I found a good price through ebates.com you can find good prices and then get a rebate after you order. Also there are coupons. I have only seem them for $30 and that is the high end.
You could always go for black chucks and then green socks to liven things up.
Did you already have a groomsmen gift in mind that you know they would like? I think that most gifts are risky because there’s a chance that the recipient won’t like them. I bought my BM’s purses (for everyday) and I started to worry that they may not like them. But I think I would worry about any gift I chose to give them and gifting something that they may use post wedding (even if they just use the Chucks as their lawn mowing shoes) may be appreciated.
Hmmmm… maybe ask your FI to chat with the GM and see if they’d have a problem buying the shoes? Search online and see if you can find coupons or something. I think that its funny that we assume we can ask the girls to buy their dresses and shoes, but we can’t ask the guys to buy shoes.
If their tuxes are reasonably priced and they don’t have a lot of other expenses, I think it would be fine to ask them to purchase them.
@ES123: I know, so not fair that the girls have to pay so much but the guys don’t 
@jennred782:
Love the green socks idea with black & white chucks. I’m a sucker for argyle so green argyle would be so cute!
I think the Chucks would be absolutely awesome especially because your girls are wearing green shoes…just imagine all the awesome picture possibilities! Maybe you could give them the Chucks as a present. Or, I agree with ES123 & Miss Stiletto…guys get off too easy! Make them buy them! They have no gown, no alterations, no hair/nails/make up, no ridiculous expenses at all! Chucks rock.
I don’t see why it’s ok to make Bridesmaids pay for (a dress, makeup, hair, shoes, accessories) and yet we wonder if we should make the guys pay for a simple pair of shoes! (This is totally on society Miss Stiletto, not you!) It’s a double standard! I say if you’re expecting your girls to throw in for their stuff it’s only fair to have the guys do the same…
I don’t like the idea of making my wedding party gifts something that’s first and foremost serving me and my wedding, but it’s very common to do it.
I think if it fits your FI’s taste then let him wear them and it would set him apart as the groom even more!
@West Coast Bride:
I know, it’s a slippery slope, right? So many decisions, so much working trying not to turn ‘zilla!
I say that it’s OK to ask your GMs to buy them (in green!). If you feel really uncomfortable doing that, I would gift them. You could find them on sale (Finish Line currently has a bunch of colors on sale…) so they won’t be as much of a cost burden.
I think black Chucks look really sleek and cool, and if your guys are the type who’d wear them regularly, they’d be great!
My Finace and I were both in a wedding this past October and in which Custom Chucks were given as the gift to the groomsmen along with a pair of homemade tye died socks. (You can make your own design with different fabrics and colors online). They even did this for the ring bearer! Thier wedding colors were black green and pink- but the sneakers were just black and green. Every guy loved them, and honestly- they will get better use out of them then a typical money clip/flask/beer mug.
I say buy them for the guys as the gift!
I say go with the chucks. If you aren’t sure they will where them again, I would go with the black over the green. If you don’t want to make them pay $40 for shoes they won’t wear again you could always offer to pay a %age of them. I disagree with making them the gifts. A gift is a thank you for being part of the day. Not something you are buying for them to use on your day.
We have also been considering Cons for the guys. Argyle socks are also in the running. I told my FI he has to choose one because I think doing both would be too much so I am still waiting on an answer from him.
I know your BMs expressed displeasure in the green shoe. I tend to always err on the side of how people around me feel, but honestly… it’s a green shoe. It’s not something that has to do with emotional issues, or something that would make your BMs look fat, or too skinny, or too short, or too tall, or too whatever. Its just a green shoe. I’d wear a green shoe as a BM at a wedding even if I never wore the green shoe again. That’s the life of being in weddings, right? So, I’d say the same can go for the GMs. If you can make it happen in your budget, buy the shoes for them… and not as their “gifts”. At the very least, if you do include this as part of their gift, get them something small, a token you know they will appreciate. Even if it’s just a small bottle of their favorite liquor. I def. don’t consider giving people green shoes as a gift, especially if you know off hand that they aren’t green Chuck kind of guys!
If you love the green shoes, though, make them happen, in any way you can. It will look great!
I’m not such a fan, I think the black would be ok but otherwise I think it’s just too dressed down for my tastes… but hey it’s your wedding!! If you want it go for it!
My husband and I both wore Chucks for our wedding. We thought about having all the guys get them but debated the same thing, whether to have them pay or have it be our gift to them. But then we decided to just have my husband wear them, he felt like it made him stand out a little more anyway. And most of his groomsmen probably wouldn’t have worn them after the wedding.
My husband designed his own Chucks on the Converse website, so they reflected our wedding colors and had the wedding date stitched on the back heel.
And I found the most perfect pair of eyelet embroidered ivory chucks with brown satin trim that matched the sash on my dress. It was too perfect!
The Chucks are great and will make for some fun pictures. If you are worried about the cost for the GM, I don’t think it would look bad if Mr. S was the only one wearing them.
We are gifting the groomsman brown chucks to wear at the reception and Mr. Peep special ordered his own. More on that next week!! PS I totally think you should go this route!!
Miss Stiletto…I’ve been following your story and it looks like you have a clear and beautiful vision of what your day will look like…right down to the green shoes. I am in favour of the green shoes when Mr. S is on board with the idea. I agree with all that Mrs. Penguin said. I don’t mean to be harsh but shouldn’t your BM and GM just view the shoes as shoes only and remember that they’re suppose to be supportive…not stressing you out? You’re not asking them to wear anything that was featured in 27 Dresses.
Is there a mutual friend who can informally and in a friendly manner gently speak with the BM and GM about how much the green shoes mean to you and can “campaign” on your behalf?
Good luck!
We are doing black and white chucks, and we are asking each guy to buy their own. We got a great deal on the tuxes, so they are really not that expensive, so we figure it won’t be a huge stretch to ask them to buy their own. Most are really excited about it, as far as I know!
Chuck the chucks. They’ve been there and done that. Everyone’s doing Chucks these days! You wanna set the trend not follow it!
How about just green socks.
Or how about a different kind of shoe that has green in it. Does Mr. Stiletto [lol, that's funny] wear Chucks? If so, then yeah maybe.
My guy wears Puma a LOT and we considered putting everyone in them, but then we decided on a beach wedding with no shoes!
We got our guys black chucks as part of their gifts, I think we paid quite a bit less than $40… (do your homework and find them buy one get one half off) or find them at a good discount store or converse outlet. Even though it wasn’t everyone’s “style” I have seen almost all of our guys wear them again. When you have them in your closet you seem to end up enjoying them.
I love our pictures with the shoes! I wore dressier shoes for the wedding and my black chucks for the reception. I kind of wish I’d worn them the whole time. I love the pictures of my feet and dress with the GM feet, and our feet as a couple in matching black Chucks. I am glad we included it as part of our day.
We bought all our GMs Adidas old school sneakers. Some of them may never wear them again, but they can always donate them to charity afterward. We also giving them small token gifts along with the sneaks. If you can swing it, I say go for it.
My husband gifted his groomsmen with black chuck taylors which they wore just for the reception. He let them wear their own black shoes for the ceremony since no on would really see their shoes and it would save them $ in rentals. He also gave them Ray Ban sunglasses which looked great in all the photos! He felt generous since they took him to Vegas for his bachelor party and paid for… God knows what. I love the way the Chucks look in our wedding photos but FYI- they are not the most comfortable things. Buy them insoles if you can. I know it sounds odd but it will keep everyone on the dance floor with no excuses what so over. PS-here’s a link to our wedding and you can see the Chucks for yourself. http://perfectbound.blogspot.com/2008/12/sweet-moments.html
Informal shoes with formalwear are my fiance’s pet peeve so there is no way we could do this. It reminds him of prom…. I believe his words when I suggested sneakers was ‘good idea, they can all wear their ties around their heads too.’
6pm has Chuck Taylors in the green color for $22.11 http://www.6pm.com/n/p/p/7316534/c/9950.html
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Mrs. Stiletto, Chicago
Age and Occupation: 26, Non-Profit/Fundraising
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Engineer and Photographer
Engagement Date: March 2, 2008
Wedding Date: September 2009
Venue: The 19th Century Club
About Me: My fiance and I love living in the city of Chicago with our cats Basil and Linus, and vow to never move to the suburbs if we can possibly avoid it! We’ve poured ourselves into planning a wedding that reflects our personal style - modern and high contrast with a vintage twist. Blogging keeps me creative, baking keeps me happy, and grande nonfat no foam sugar free vanilla lattes keep me sane.
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