Wedding Blog

It is so important to be able to step back and ask for help when we need it. It is what will keep us sane in life and from going on overload. (This is my inner therapist talking; it is a whole different ballgame taking my own advice.) This same concept of asking for help applies to wedding planning. Since I already shared my amazing coordinator with you, I want to fill you in on why I thought it was so important to find someone to help with the big day.

I love event planning. I’ve been doing it for years and Mr. Duckling has as well. Before deciding to become a therapist, I thought seriously about wedding planning. I couldn’t wait to plan my own wedding if for no other reason than that I would get to plan a major event and all its details. However, I knew that without question, I wanted a day of coordinator.

Why is this? Experience. Two years ago, Mr. Ducky and I helped plan our best friends’ wedding. It was a backyard wedding in Malibu and it was beautiful! The wedding reflected them as couple with Beatles ceremony music, Sprinkles cupcakes, DIY centerpieces and florals, and trivia during dinner. I was a bridesmaid and the stand-in wedding planner and I don’t think I sat down once that day. I didn’t get a chance to soak in all our hard work or catch up with out of town friends. Even if something wasn’t going on, I was anticipating the next moment I would be needed or a vendor was coming to ask me one question or another. Now this was totally okay. They were on a $10,000 budget and I loved being able to give that gift to my friend. However, I learned that you can’t do it all as the bride and if one of your guests does it they won’t be able to truly relax and enjoy the celebration.

I’ve heard similar experiences from friends and stress falling onto mother of the bride, bridesmaid or some willing friend. No matter how organized and on top of it you are, the day will be hectic and things will need to be taken care of.

I’m also a perfectionist (hey, I admit it) and have a hard time just trusting someone random to take care of all the details and things I care about. I’m this way for group projects in school, planning events, and probably even more so for our wedding. I knew that in order to FULLY let go of the control and trust another person to handle all the details I would need a professional that I trusted. Thus, I found Courtney from Joyful Weddings and Events. If for some reason I couldn’t plan any part of my wedding I would have, without question, picked Courtney to do it for me. I trust her taste, abilities, and talent, which means I will gladly hand the details over for the wedding when the time comes.

I ended up choosing the month-of package with Courtney after meeting with her. Courtney helps us create the timeline for the wedding, contacts all our vendors for arrival time and last minute details, does a final walk-though with us at the site, gives vendor referrals, and I can email or call her with any questions along the way. What a relief!

Do you absolutely have to hire a day of coordinator or planner? No. I know that it can be way out of budget for people, and I think it’s a personal choice. You have to look at yourself and the people around you and evaluate what is best. For me, I know that I will be much more relaxed and happier being able to hand the details off, or I else I will not let go and worry all day. My mom is the same way, and I didn’t want that to happen for the wedding. Finding someone to help us was a major priority, and I was willing to sacrifice other things in order to hire a coordinator.

If you are on a budget and there isn’t money, I absolutely believe that there are people who are more than willing to step up to the plate. As with all things, there are so many untapped resources in your immediate network, you just have to ask. Just make sure you are as organized as possible and that duties are clearly assigned. (In the wedding that I was in this was not the case. Plus, some unexpected events such as the groom forgetting the rings led to more chaos…)

All Photos from The Knot

What about you? What was your thought process in whether or not to hire a day-of coordinator or a wedding planner? Do you have a hard time asking for help and giving up control like me?

P.S. I think I need to devote a full recap to the wedding in Malibu. Just imagine lost rings, loose dogs, Sprinkles cupcakes, candlelight and Europe’s The Final Countdown playing in the background.