Wedding Blog
Originally, we had 4 people on each side of the bridal party. Now, not so much.
The other night, Mr. Meatball’s best friend and “homey of honor” in our wedding, El, called to share the news that he had been cast in a very exciting and promising off-Broadway version of Neil Gaiman’s book (and now movie), Coraline. We are so proud of him and were totally thrilled to hear it. But, he said, the director wouldn’t allow him to miss a performance to be in our wedding. Not one. No. Bueno.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen Mr. Meatball more devastated. Young boys don’t dream much about their wedding day, but ever since he was a young boy, Mr. Meatball looked forward to the day his best friend stood next to him at his wedding. This is his duuuuude. You know what I mean. Every high school story begins with, “this one time, me and El….”
The look on my poor man’s face was enough to break a nation’s worth of hearts. Of course, it couldn’t be helped. Of course, we 100% support El in this incredible opportunity and are beyond happy for him. But of course, having a best friend miss out on standing next to Mr. Meatball - or more so, having Mr. Meatball miss out on his best friend being there, is a difficult letdown to reconcile.
There’s just no replacing El. Sure, our bridal party will be uneven, but who really cares? It’s not about numbers, it’s about love. We sure will miss El’s love that day… but I know his spirit will be toasting the moment with us all.
Poor, poor Mr. Meatball, though. If MaPo were to step down, I can’t imagine how disappointed I’d feel. It’s just so sad for him. I can’t even fathom.
Ah, showbiz…. Let’s hope El wins a Tony, y’all. 
Did any of your original wedding party members have to bow out? How did you deal with the loss?
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My MOH’s 6 month old daughter was put into the hospital the week of our wedding for an infection. Nothing serious but her mind was understandably elsewhere. She made quick appearances at the rehearsal dinner and was came to the ceremony and went to the reception for a little bit but it was sad that she wasn’t really “there” and wasn’t having a good time.
Boy do I feel your pain Miss Meatball! I posted on this a while ago on the boards but our #1 best man (Mr. B’s best best friend and a great friend of mine) is joining the peace corps and can’t make it. It’s so painful because you totally support what they’re doing for themselves in their life (and in our case, what said friend is doing for society) but you reeeeeally want them to be there on your special day because it means so much to have them there! I totally feel your pain, I felt like I’d been run over by a truck for about a day when ours told us. 
I think the most important thing to remember in spite of the painful situation is, that this day is about you and Mr. Meatball! Maybe El can make a video of a toast for you guys, or if the ceremony is early enough, video in…
This happened at a wedding I was at recently and the absent best man made a video of the speech he would give and gave it to the maid of honor to play at the reception. It meant so much to the bride and groom. I know it is not the same as having your friend there in person but maybe it would help.
My FI’s brother was going to be the best man, but he ships out for basic training for the navy just in time to miss our wedding. It actually evened out our sides, but we were both devastated that his brother won’t be there.
It’s a bummer, but like you, we have to support him in this.
Yup. One of my three Bridesmaids just informed me she’s pregnant (not planned), will now be getting married before me in June (yay!), but is unfortunately due to give birth two days after our wedding! She wants to do a natural home water birth, so there’s no way she’ll be able to make it to our wedding location - it’s about an hour away, with roads that are not conducive to getting a lady back home quickly should she go into labor. Our wedding parties are actually equal in size now, but I’d rather have her there celebrating with us than even-steven pictures.
I’m with ya! My brother is on the cusp of not being at our wedding because he has joined the Army and we’re not sure when his training dates are…
what a dilemma!
oh! poor mr. meatball!!!
I am down a bridesmaid, myself, due to us getting married far away and the economy and such
I totally understand where she is coming from. And I dont want her to feel any worse about this than she already does!
We had a very close friend (10yrs) of my hubby’s bail about 3 months before the wedding. He didn’t give us an explanation and honestly never spoke to us again after the bail out phone call. I really don’t know what happened, but my hub wasn’t very happy about it. At first he was hurt, but then that hurt turned to anger. It just didn’t make any sense. We didn’t bother trying to fill his spot. We were fine with being an uneven bridal party too. It ended out being perfect bc the people who really cared enough to stand by us were there. At least El has a valid reason. I’m sorry that Mr. Meatball is so sad. That must be devastating. Hopefully things will work out well for him on broadway!! Mr. Meatball will be just fine. You know, this is really corny, but we actually made a cardboard cutout of one of my girls who couldn’t travel to make it to my shower. We even introduced her and everything. It was pretty hilarious. Cheesy, yes. Dumb, probably. But it was a fun(ny) way of having her there with us even though she couldn’t be. Best of luck!
What a tough, tough situation. I know when my best friend got married last year - one of her bridesmaids (and a good friend of mine too!) had to make sure to keep her schedule clear and turn down jobs because she’s a stage manager, and it isn’t easy for her to just get a night off. It’s really hard. It seems like you and he are doing well though!
Aw! Maybe El can come down with a case of “strep throat” the morning of your wedding. In fact - what if he does that (because it happens sometimes in showbiz!) and then you fly him in to surprise Mr. Meatball?!
Will he be able to swing by after the show?
My FI and I are in a similar situation in that he’s waiting to hear back about a show he’s auditioned for and the last day of the run would be ON our wedding day. Obviously the wedding is going to win if it comes down to it, but it will be a difficult choice to make since getting good work doesn’t come along every day.
@Gilneas I’ve had to turn down an SM gig, too. But being the bride makes it a teensy bit easier.
My tiny MOH spawned an enormous child two months before the wedding, and she couldn’t sit long enough to fly out. She wrote a speech to be read by another bridesmaid, and supplied my something borrowed and blue, a bracelet a friend had made her for her own wedding. It was a bummer, but I wouldn’t have wanted anyone to go through that much pain just to watch me get hitched. And the best man got a good laugh when he walked in to the reception with the “maid of honor in absentia” on his arm.
Poor Mr Meatball! It sounds like a great opportunity for your friend though. We didn’t have anyone bow out, but we do have uneven sides.
Aww!!
I say totally rock the lopsided Bridal Party! We’re having 5 Ladies and 3 Gents!
It can be incredibly difficult when a bride and groom find out that a loved one is unable to attend (but especially a best friend). Though initially it can feel that the disappointment and sadness may cast a shadow on the wedding, those feelings do fade and the love of all the friends and family who are able to attend will more than make up for any absences.
My FI has had to miss his two best friend’s weddings because of Navy training, and it’s devastated him both times. As upset as both the other boys were, they were very understanding and appreciated my FI being honest about his schedule up front. It stinks that Mr. Meatball isn’t going to have his best bud there, and I’m sure El feels just as bummed - maybe they can do something special together before/after the wedding to celebrate.
We also have 4 on each side and recently we found out that my SIL to be is pregnant and due 2 days before the wedding.
I am still not sure if she will be in the wedding or not, I guess it is up to her and the baby to come!
i had my best friend as my MOH and he was showing so much disinterest and feeling very distant from me, so i wrote him a letter confronting him, he never replied, its been 2 months, i assume hes not in my wedding.
it broke my heart. 6 years of friendship, cannot even reply.
Awww, that’s so sad for Mr. Meatball! Maybe El could surprise Mr. Meatball and video record a toast to show at the wedding…
One of my Bridesmaids will just be having her baby. The baby is due in July and my wedding is in August. It may be different if she lived on the same cost, but she is on the west. She was said and didn’t really want to tell me…
Poor guy!
I have been on the other side of this unfortunately. It is horrible to be the one to back out of a wedding as well. I hope that Mr. recovers and that your friends show is successful!
aaaw, mr. mb!! it’s definitely a bittersweet thing. you’re incredibly happy for your friend and his great opportunity, but utterly bummed that you can’t share your day with him! we may have this problem also come time for our wedding. my fh’s “homey of honor” is his brother who is also in med school. our wedding may fall during the time of his residency….we’ll have to see how it all plays out!
Mr. Bruschetta’s high school friend groomsman’s going to be a daddy — less than a week before our wedding! He plans to talk to his buddy to see if the GM is still interested in helping out and participating in the wedding…since he’ll obviously have something else pretty major going on in his life right around our wedding!
After they converse, I think I’ll hafta update the hive further on this situation — and the outcome!
@hedgehog: Aw! I would imagine being the bride would give you more leverage! But from working in the theatre… there were a lot of people who just couldn’t make it to my best friend’s wedding this past summer, because of tours or couldn’t get the day off. My friend who is a SM already has my Oct 2010 wedding on her calendar so she can make sure she can come!!
I almost lost a bridemaid (Mr. CC’s sister) but it’s all worked out now. I was sad, cause a lot of the problem was laziness, but not angry. Now, Mr. CC was mad. But it’s all working out now.
I had one of my really good friends drop out. She is an international student from Brazil so that was a hurdle to start with. But, she came back and told me that she is up and moving to Italy to take a photography class this spring and won’t make it to my wedding. I took it pretty hard. She’s one of my best friends and she wouldn’t be there…and I may not see her again. A few weeks later a guy on my fiance’s side had to drop out because of family health problems. So, now there are 3 groomsmen and 2 co-maids of honors. Not traditional, but oh well.
That’s so sad for Mr. M, but great for your friend! Congrats to him, at least!
awwwww everything happens for a reason so El will win a Tony and he’s gotta include you in the speech :-P!
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Mrs. Meatball, Hollywood
Age and Occupation: 30, Actor/Writer/Office Maven
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Actor/Writer
Engagement Date: October 7, 2007
Wedding Date: May, 2009
Blogging Since: September 16, 2008
Venue: Private Garden/The Bungalow Club
About Me: I love melty cheese and diet coke almost as much as I love my man. I'm from Chicago, he's from NYC, and we both miss public transit and great pizza. We have an adorable muppet dog called Paco. I'm part hippie with a healthy dash of hip hop superstar, have excessive empathy for animals, and have not one, but two bionic eyes (long story). We're broke and it ain't no joke. It can't stop us from planning the bold and whimsical wedding of our dreams, but we've had to get pretty creative to make it work, yo!
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