Wedding Blog
Previously: Alphabet Soup
It’s your loyal linguistic pundit (::wink wink::) here, with another round of wedding witticism. Have you cottoned on yet to the fact that I consider wordplay a full-contact sport?
fondon’t
-noun
a person exhibiting a polarizing attitude about the superiority of buttercream as wedding cake icing
We hoped to try a variety of cake combinations, but since the baker was a fondon’t, we only sampled confections topped with buttercream.
betroved
-noun
a fiancee (and/or fiance) that is inappropriately focused on the potential gifts, and other objects, that guests might bestow upon them
Every weekend, Macy’s housewares department is inundated with betroved couples working on their wedding registries.
spentimental
-adjective
an amalgamation of tender emotions and awareness of expenses that most often plagues the bride, groom and their immediate families, but can also impact the wedding party
The cash-strapped bridesmaid felt a bit spentimental as she paid for her wedding attire.
bouquet garni
-adjective
any of the various accoutrements — including brooches and lockets — decorating the bride’s bouquet handle
A quick perusal of Etsy practically overwhelmed me — so many beautiful options for bouquet garni!
wedding knight
-noun
often a wedding coordinator (but in certain circumstances a family member or friend of the couple), this person is responsible for assisting in a significant manner, thus helping to “save” the wedding day
After the lace starting tearing from the hem of her gown, the wedding knight’s steady hand helped mend the situation.
Did anyone step in as your wedding knight? Do you love the stuff, or are you a fondon’t?
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Ha! Nicely done. My favorite is “spentimental,” as in, Do I really need 9 hours of photography, parent albums, boudoir session, engagement shots, and the DVD of images, or am I just being spentimental?
I am so a fondon’t! Buttercream all the way!
brings a smile to my face - can’t wait for the next round!
Hahahahaha. Amused smile plays on my face. Favorite has to be bouquet garni. I just imagine wedding bouquets made of parsley. Lots and lots of parsley:).
@LPC: That’s my fave, too! 
Herb bouquets would smell amazing, wouldn’t they?
@BenJerrysBride: Oh geez, no pressure, right? I worry my well of wit and wordplay may soon run dry! 
@lit_geek26: Haha, nice usage!
I laughed so hard I snorted when I read these!!! You are too witty - I’m a bit of a fondon’t as well… the texture gives me the willies!
I am an unforgiving fondon’t. I’m sure others see it as close-mindedness. I just see it as my mission in life…to free others from the plague that is fondant.
I’m a TOTALLY a Fondon’t. I hate the stuff. (Just my opinion). I do think it looks gorgeous for other brides though! 
I LOVE the Miss B dictionary! I think Mrs. Bee should publish a wedding dictionary with all of the bees words!
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Mrs. Bruschetta, Philadelphia
Age and Occupation: 25, Communication Professional
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Physical Therapy Graduate Student
Engagement Date: November 30, 2007
Wedding Date: August 2009
Venue: St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House
About Me: I’m a self-proclaimed grammar geek who loves singing (like, really belting it) in the car. My mister and I are planning a vibrant summer soiree celebrating our passions – including food and Philly – and when we make it official, we’ll have been together for eight years! Being super competitive is in my nature, and talking excessively is in my genes. I’ve got a terrible sense of direction, but can always easily find my way into Mr. Bruschetta’s arms.
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