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(Bruschetta Disclaimer: I’ve written this fully realizing the topic can be controversial to some, but wanted to share my experience nonetheless!)
Several weeks ago, I was preparing for a major life moment. Together with my mister, we put down the deposit, selected the unit, and scheduled the move-in day. After over seven years together, Mr. Bruschetta and I finally got our own place. And I was a bigger jumble of emotions than I expected.
I was nervous. I’m a world-class worrier. (It’s an inherited trait from Mama Bruschetta’s side.) And fretting over ridiculous minutiae is a habit I haven’t been able to break. Raise your hand if you’ve experienced unease wondering if your toothpaste tube habits will rankle his. (I’m sheepishly raising mine.)
I was stressed. I just couldn’t marshal my thoughts well enough to plan for this move. From packing my clothes, to organizing boxes from college and grad school, to emptying my desk and dressers, it seemed like there was an endless to-do list, and I had no idea where to start.
I was wistful. Sure, I’ve lived away from home. But, for the past year, I’d been back with my parents. And I knew I’d miss seemingly insignificant things like watching the clips Mama Bruschetta’s saved on Tivo — and less trivial ones, like eating dinner with both parental Bruschettas.
But, above all, I was excited. I love this man so much. Prior to the move, coordinating our schedules was super tough (despite the fact that we lived in the same town!), and I usually only got to see him once or twice a week. Uh-huh, you read that correctly. I really couldn’t wait to try out new recipes together, or snuggle up on the couch for a casual date night.
Our wedding marks the official start of “us”, but we’ve already started our trial run a few short weeks ago.
Did you move in with your fiance before getting engaged or while planning your wedding? Or, did you wait to cohabitate after the wedding?
I’ve been long distance (he’s in Georgia and I’m in New Mexico) with my FI for 2.5 years and he (really badly) wants us to live together before we’re married. I wasn’t willing to compromise with this one - not sure why, but I wanted to be man and wife when we lived together for the first time. But now, with our wedding next February, I’m planning on moving to Georgia in October or November and I couldn’t be more excited! You’ll have to let us know how the toothpaste escapades work out!
My fiance and I have been together for almost 7 years as well and have lived together now for about 2 1/2 years while I love it, and know that we weren’t forced to live together, I am a little jealous of those who havent lived together before getting married. There is a whole other level of excitement that would be added to getting married. Living together for that long takes out the little “toothpaste stresses” but it is at the cost of truly begnning a life together at the wedding. Good Luck!
Congratulations! I’ll be moving to Mr. Mitla’s house in just four months (a year before the wedding). Can’t wait!
As a matter of circumstance we moved in together pretty quickly int our relationship (about 6 months). And then lived together for about 4 years before getting married. You will have some kinds to iron out at first, but I’m sure everything will go fine! Just remember to still spend quality time together (watching reruns on TV does not always count) and also to still have independent activities (you can go read in the bedroom while he watches football - you don’t have to spend every second together). Have fuN!
Of the three & a half years we’ve been together, we’ve lived together for a little over two of them. We moved in together prior to being engaged, but we did know we would get married one day. My roommates moved out of state, and I could not afford to live on my own, so we moved in together - I couldn’t imagine NOT living with the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with prior to the wedding, honestly. We’re both surprised it’s been so long and we still don’t want to kill each other. So, yeah, I guess when we get married, we’ll just go home afterwards, and it won’t feel like some magical huge moment - but that’s not quite our romance style anyway, so it’s not something I’m concerned with.
GOOD LUCK! Keep communication lines clear, and be open to change. That’s the best advise I can give you for jumping into cohabitation. It’s still a struggle to keep his socks off the floor, but it’s worth it, in the end.
Mr. S and I moved in together almost two years ago (so about 8 months before getting engaged)…and we bought a condo this past summer. I think moving in together was the best thing we could have done for our relationship because we go so much closer! While we had a great relationship beforehand, there was a definite difference (a great one!) after cohabitating.
Homeownership was definitely scarier than just renting an apartment together, but a great move that I’m glad we made! It’s also great to know that we’re settled into a home, so that when we register, we’ll be registering for things to fit the home we’ll be in for a few years to come!
@Mrs. Pinot Noir: Oh, I second this also - we have an office, and most evenings, I spend time with my laptop and bad television on the couch in the living room, and he spends time with his laptop and own bad television in the office, and knowing that we each like to have our own space and own time apart has helped us REALLY not kill each other yet. It’s very true - you don’t NEED to spend every moment together.
Congrats on the new place! Taking that leap is both exciting and scary, but I know you will make the most of it. Good luck!
P.S. I love Mr. B’s sweatshirt in that pic… GO VOLS! 
We’ve lived together for almost 3 years now, and have been together for almost 5 years. Neither of us wanted to move back in with our parents after college, so moving in together just made the most sense. We haven’t had any of the usual problems (I let the dishes pile up, he hates that- kind of stuff), and when we hit a rough patch in our relationship about a year and a half ago, living together was really the extra incentive to work it out. I’m so glad we did!
However, on the other side, we have relatives who are not appreciative of our relationship. When we moved into our townhouse, his mother actually put my clothes in the spare room closet as a not-so-subtle hint. I also have an aunt on my dad’s side who won’t even be coming to the wedding because we “lived in sin.”
For us, it was worth it.
The first night we moved in was when my honey proposed. We have been living together for 1 1/2 years and will be married in July. I don’t regret a thing.
Mr. FF and I did things very backwards and moved into together after only dating 3 months! Crazy I know, but it worked out and a year later we bought our first house together and are getting married. But moving in together is fun and exciting but will bring different challenges to the table! Congrats! And enjoy it!
We moved in together after about 8 months of dating and about four months before we got engaged. Neither of us every lived with a SO other before but it just seemed the natural thing to do.
Congrats!! We moved in after 6 years together (4 long distance, two in the same town…) and one year before we got engaged. I experienced many of the same emotions as you…for us, it worked and I love living with him!
for some reason it is not letting me post as a member, whatevs. i’ll be a guest.
CONGRATULATIONS on the apartment! that must be so exciting. I am moving my stuff down to my fiance’s place in May, although I will live at my parents house until the wedding in July. It has been SO HARD with him in Philly and me in Rhode Island- I can’t WAIT until the same things you are excited for… casual snuggle time on the couch, cooking together, etc. I hope you two are having a blast already!!!
also, LOVE your posts. I loved your comments as magpie, and i love your posts now even more!
We moved in together during college. We have always had roomates, so when we get married we will be living together alone for the first time.
Not only are we living together before the wedding, we’re actually purchasing a home together this summer (the wedding is in Oct 2010). Like many posters before have said, “It just felt natural”. We moved in together shortly after beginning to date. Then again, we got engaged after 8 months of dating… so… we tend to buck tradition all around
My fiancee and I also dated for 7 year before moving in together last October. One of the best decisions we could have made! Everything has been absolutely wonderful, no real adjustment really!
Congrats on the BIG move!! It is exciting (and nerve-wracking)!
Mr. Sushi and I co-habitated together for a lil’ over 2 years before we got hitched. While we had a few habits to get used to, it’s honestly the best thing we’ve ever done (besides marrying each other 
). It’s funny how such a “little” thing can totally transform a relationship. We are sooo much closer and comfortable with each. I love it!
Mr Corn bought a house while I trailed along when we were dating but about to be engaged. I moved in after he proposed. My mom once said that if you had told her that her daughter would move in with a guy before being married and she would be ok with it, she would have laughed at you. But it was seriously impractical for me to pay rent on an apartment when I could have been contributing to our mortgage! I think you really only get ‘in trouble’ if you are using living together before marraige as a ‘test period’ to see if it will work. In my eyes, you either commit or you don’t.
We’re waiting to live together until after we are married - although we’ll be moving both of our stuff into a common place soon and one of us will live there until we leave for our wedding in June. I’m SO SO excited to finally live with the Mr. and to be his Mrs.!!
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Mrs. Bruschetta, Philadelphia Age and Occupation: 25, Communication Professional Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Physical Therapy Graduate Student Engagement Date: November 30, 2007 Wedding Date: August 2009 Venue: St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House About Me: I’m a self-proclaimed grammar geek who loves singing (like, really belting it) in the car. My mister and I are planning a vibrant summer soiree celebrating our passions – including food and Philly – and when we make it official, we’ll have been together for eight years! Being super competitive is in my nature, and talking excessively is in my genes. I’ve got a terrible sense of direction, but can always easily find my way into Mr. Bruschetta’s arms.
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