Weddingbee Blog

I feel like an equally fitting name for this post would be “Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems”. See, there’s a reason I haven’t talked much (at all?) about finances or budget before this post. We had a budget, to be sure, but no matter what number we set, it kept changing, morphing, and growing as we planned our wedding.

My rationalization, of course, was that this is was once-in-a-lifetime event, and even if we ended up spending more than we thought we would, we’d be OK. I felt like rather than trying to scrimp and save to make every penny fit within the confines of a single number, that being realistic meant understanding that our budget was an estimation, and we would probably overshoot it.

I think you can see where I am going with this. Things add up fast. We definitely haven’t dug ourselves into a hole, but we spent way more than we intended.

{O hai, I can haz budgets?}

About three months into our two-year engagement, when we first started planning our wedding, I envisioned a gorgeous, country-chic affair that would cost us no more than $12K.

Once we decided to work with a professional planner that cost a significant part of that, and started to figure out catering, floral, and other expenses, we decided that $20K was a more realistic estimation. We began to track costs with the mindset of meeting that budget.

Then, we talked to our families about money. They had all expressed interest in helping us out financially, but we had no idea to what extent they would contribute. Broaching that subject was the most awkward part of planning, particularly because it seemed that they wanted us to tell them how much money we needed. (I imagine this is because it was our families’ first time planning a wedding for their children.) Of course, I wish we could have just had the whole thing taken care of, but that wasn’t in the cards, nor was it realistic. We also felt that contributing a significant portion of costs ourselves was an important part of planning our wedding.

It was decided that each family unit (my family, Mr. CP’s mom & step dad, and Mr. CP’s dad) would contribute $5,000, and we would contribute the remaining $5,000 between the two of us. We were well on our way to planning a sweet wedding that was affordable to both our families and us… or so we thought.

Once our plans began to be more firmly set in stone and we had a better grip on what kind of event we were planning, where we were having it, and what sort of attendance we expected, we again increased our budget slightly, to $24,000. And that was, we posited, a good number to estimate hitting.

Well, we did, sort of.

The truth is that we spent a lot of money on a number of things that we didn’t really consider part of our budget to begin with. For example, we budgeted a bit of money for Mr. CP to purchase a suit or rent a tux. When he decided to purchase a custom-tailored suit for considerably more money, that cost became a “personal” expense for him. In other words, he paid for it out of pocket, rather than with our budgeted money.

There were several other items which weren’t included in our concrete wedding budget: Our wedding bands, most of my accessories, his accessories, attendant gifts, and probably a few other things I’m forgetting. But because money spent is money spent, I’ve included these “personal/unbudgeted” expenses in our tally anyway, except they are marked with an asterisk.

I kept track of our budgeted expenses in a spreadsheet and used the budget tool on The Knot to make sure that things weren’t out of control, but I didn’t allow myself to stress over extra things here and there. I knew we were spending more than we planned. But regardless, it all added up above and beyond what we expected, and that meant we overspent by a number of dollars.

To be honest, drafting this post was the first time I allowed myself to really go back, receipt by receipt, and estimate the full amount of what we spent. Before now, I didn’t want the sticker shock to dampen my perception of our wedding. But I’ve gone and done it… the sticker shock has punched me in the gut… and I’m already on my way to getting over it again.

Behold!

The Cherry Pies’ Budget Breakdown
[For 100 guests on Sept 6, 2008]

Dressing her:

• Wedding dress $1,500
• Alterations $400 (exceeded budget)
• Veil $200
• Boots* $200
• Hair flower* $50
• Jewelry* $300
• Hair and nails $155 (exceeded budget)
• Her wedding band* $1,200

Dressing Him:

• Custom suit* $2,200
• Groom’s accessories* $200
• His wedding band* $2,600

Vendors

• Save the date cards: Free (made by a friend)
• Invitation suite: $1600
• Rehearsal dinner $300
• Venue fee $500
• School buses $370
• Flowers $1,550
• Catering $3,300
• Cake and tarts $500
• Rentals $4,400 (exceeded budget)
• Band $1,200
• Photography $3,500
• Wedding planner $4200 base fee
• Day of Coordination $2500 in incidentals (exceeded budget)
• Tips $500

Other expenses:

• License to wed $55
• Hotel for bride and groom $700 (unplanned item)
• Favors $100
• Beer and wine $1,100
• Ceremony and reception decorations $200
• Attendant gifts* $600
• Misc expenses that I probably forgot* $200

TOTAL: $36,380 (Planned: $24,000)

Um, yeahhhhhh. Our grand total was $12,000 over our “loosely planned” goal of $24,000.

You can see where I marked some items that cost more than we expected, or more than we budgeted. You can also see those items that I mentioned above we considered to not really be a part of the formal budget.

If I subtract those “non-budgeted” items from the tally above, our total spent was $28,830, which is definitely a lot closer to what we planned.

In the end, when we factor in the $15K of family contributions, the $1K of wine gifted by Mr. CP’s mom, and lodging paid for by his granddad, the total we spent out of pocket (including “non budget” items) was $19,480. Ouch.

I feel sort of dirty looking at that number, like we could have just thrown a fabulous wedding with the $15K we were given alone and then bought ourselves a car or a world tour or started a down payment with the rest.

There certainly are some things we could have done without. If I had my druthers, I’d go back in time and tell myself that I’d have been fine with working with our planner in an exclusively phone-consulting and day-of-coordination capacity, rather than purchasing her full-service package.

I enjoyed working with Katalin, and we definitely spent a lot of time getting to know each other over the one-and-a-half years I was her client. But in the end, I felt that I didn’t use her talents to their fullest potential because I took control of so many things myself. Scaling back on her crew’s involvement to phone consultation and DOC-only would definitely have saved us money… but it might also have cost us some of the depth and detail that she provided because she knew us so well.

I also certainly didn’t need to spend that god awful much on my husband’s wedding band. We were originally eyeballing tungsten bands that cost $300. But of course, Mr. CP fell love with a design that far exceeded what we planned to spend, and I got it for him even though he insisted that it wasn’t necessary. He’ll be wearing it every day - I wanted to get him the one he loved!

Similar statements could be made for most of the starred items in the list above.

In truth, after a honeymoon and the holidays, we are still paying down our credit cards, but it’s nothing we can’t manage just fine.

What’s most important is that we had a wonderful, memorable, intimate wedding in a special place with the people we love. That was our goal all along… and hell yes, it was worth every penny.

Please feel free to share your budget challenges, coping mechanisms, and solutions below!

Thank you again for taking part in our wedding from conception to execution. I’ve enjoyed having you all along for the ride! With this post, my recap is completed. Next, I’ll share our Zihuatanejo honeymoon and after that, who knows!

[Credits: Image courtesy of Piknik Studios.]

Previously:
Married in Montana: The Rehearsal
Married in Montana: The Girls Get Ready
Married in Montana: The Guys Get Ready
Married in Montana: The Bus Ride to Polebridge
Married in Montana: Pre-Ceremony Preparations
Married in Montana: Staging the Ceremony
Married in Montana: Our Wedding Ceremony (Part 1 of 2)
Married in Montana: Our Wedding Ceremony (Part 2 of 2)
Married in Montana: Receiving Line & Refreshments
Married in Montana: Cocktail Hour
Married in Montana: Bride & Groom Portraits
Married in Montana: Family Photos
Married in Montana: Wedding Party Portraits
Married in Montana: Our Rustic Reception
Married in Montana: Toasting
Married in Montana: Just Desserts
Married in Montana: Making it Official
Married in Montana: Glamour Shots!
Married in Montana: Portraits of Our Guests
Married in Montana: First Dances
Married in Montana: Bouquet and Garter Toss
Married in Montana: The Grand Finale
Married in Montana: All in the Details (Part 1 of 2)
Married in Montana: All in the Details (Part 2 of 2)