Wedding Blog
Can I tell you a secret? I’ve never planned an event in my life (unless you count a friend’s birthday at a local restaurant as “event planning”). And I don’t know what I’m doing. Shhh, don’t tell anyone.
Often times, I feel genuinely out of my league when reading through the posts of other bees or looking at weddings in magazines or online. Picture-perfect brides remind me of that girl from one of my college English classes. She always had the correct answers, and her nail polish matched her shoes. Next to her, I felt like the awkward girl in the back of the classroom who needed to borrow your pen and wasn’t caught up on my reading. I was always one step behind.
I care about wedding planning (or I wouldn’t be blogging about it), but I’ve got to be honest with myself: I’m a big picture type of person. Ask me what marrying Mr. G means to me, and I could probably write a novel about it. Ask me if the groomsmen’s ties should be matching the bow on the bridesmaids’ dresses, and my indecisiveness takes over.
I have general concepts of what I want everything to look like and how I want the day to run. But, now it’s crunch time.
T-minus three months to go. Wedding tasks are becoming very specific. Details, details, details. I feel myself wanting everything to be just right. Since when did I become a perfectionist? And who said everything had to be perfect, anyway? I’ve got my stomach in knots every night. But why? Maybe I’m trying to be the flawless girl from English class. But I can’t be her; I can only be me.
I need to remember to remain true to Mr. G and I, and what we want our wedding to be. Weddingbee and other sources of inspiration have helped me tremendously. Without them, I honestly don’t know where I would be. But, when all of this is done, I can guarantee two things: my wedding will be over and I’ll be married. Through all of this, Mr. G and I may not be featured in Martha Stewart Weddings. It probably won’t be perfect, but I hope I’ll love it because it will be ours.
Have you found yourself striving toward wedding perfection? How have you dealt with that need to get every detail just right?
|
Share this post: Resisting Perfection
This is EXACTLY how I feel! Well unlike you I love planning events but like you said it’s more bdays figuring out date and time (doing this on repeat).
I’m constantly confused - I’m a perfectionist about my work, but I’m not crafty and I see all you bees and I get so jealous.
Lately I’ve gotten in a state of peace just like you described and I know our wedding won’t be perfect but I’m actually looking forward to them. I think that it adds to the personality of your wedding and how you handle it. I come everyday now and see my mister and I don’t think about the wedding at all. I see him give him and hug and tell him let’s eat then cuddle on the couch while watching TV then I think to myself I can’t wait to do this everyday in our home. 
ahhh I think I needed to get that off my chest and you worded it for me - thanks!
Yes oh yes, I’m with you there. I don’t know why I’d expect our day to be perfectly chic and right out of the pages of a magazine… We certainly aren’t, ourselves!
ABSOLUTELY. im just like you - im so much better at thinking about the bigger picture than the details. and with just over a month til my wedding, its ALL details from here on out.
i stress myself out worrying whether im coordinating the little things so that in the end they’ll fit the big picture i have in mind. one thing that has helped recently is learning to give up some control and let other people handle stuff without me micromanaging the crap out of it! FI is handling the music (he hasnt been that into most details…), my sister is designing the cupcakes and decorating the cupcake tower and our moms are making photo collages for cocktail hour displays, for example. trusting the people i love with details of the wedding makes me realize that im not alone in this, and i trust these people for a reason - they have great style too!
I think we all feel this way! One thing I try to remember is that most of the little details don’t matter to anyone else but myself. If the ribbon on the programs isn’t quite the same shade as the BM dresses, no one else is going to notice!
I am on the EXACT same page as you. It’s not like I don’t want my wedding to be nice, of course I do! But I honestly don’t care/don’t have the patience/indecisiveness about alot of stuff. Theres 4 months today til the big day, and just recently I’ve become bombarded and overwhelmed with the 30948 shades of pink, all the invitation styles, and flowers. Blah. Too many choices! My style is clean, simple, and for lack of a better word plain (we’ll call it classic), yet seeing all the beautiful and detail-oriented things so many girls have done, I’m like geez my stuff is blah. Oh well. I just try to remember that its not the wedding that counts, its the marriage that matters.
Ms. Glitter,
Your wedding will be just exactly what you & Mr G want! Bc it will be you & him and the people you love witnessing your happy union. That’s what’s important.
But I do understand where you are coming from. :::hugs:::
We don’t all have crafty talents and huge budgets to work with…
At the end of the day, your guests will not care about how all the little details match at your wedding. They will care that you and Mr. G are happily in love and celebrating your marriage! This is a good post to remind us about what really matters in the end.
Miss Glitter, I’m right there with you, but my wedding is still just under 6 months away. There are often times where I ponder saying, nevermind, we’re eloping! (Not really though!)I have to step back sometimes and remind myself, it won’t be perfect, something will probably not go as planned, but so long as at the end of 9/21 I’m married to my best friend I won’t care what didn’t go as planned and truth be told I probably won’t notice.
Luckily, we have a great wedding party who is fabulous and will help with those small details day of so we’ll be able to relax - it’s just getting to the big day!
I’ve never planned anything either, I get nervous playing hostess, like REALLY nervous, bc I hate being the center of attention. I know my family will have a good time, whether the napkins match the b.maid dresses - unfortunately I notice these things and they are driving me crazy!
Miss, G! I’m a big picture person, too. I like ideas, not so much execution…and that is why Mr. P creates lists and monitors them. He knows I won’t get them done. I think you’ve put a lot of good thoughts in to your wedding and your taste and ideas are fabulous! Even without perfection, I know it will be perfect for you!
I’m a total perfectionist as it is so my biggest fear is that wedding planning will put me over the edge. I hold my stress in my back and when it gets really bad I can’t walk. Imagine not being able to walk down the aisle!? That’s sheer horror!
My biggest friend right now is the delete key - delete any RSS blog post that doesn’t go with the vision I have already, delete anything that causes any anxiety. Delete, delete, delete
At times I feel my perfectionist self coming on, and I try to stop it and not stress over every little detail cause no one will notice BUT me! I know what you mean about seeing such perfection all around the web, and it’s tough to NOT compare my wedding to that! I’m working on that too!
Oh, thank goodness you posted this. I feel better knowing that I’m not the only bee here who is pretty lost when it comes to thinking about what fabric to use on the registry table and what color the groomsmen’s shoes should be. Ack! I just want to look gorgeous, have people compliment me on the decor a bit, then go home with my (eep!) husband and let real life happen.
Of course, I’ll probably end up obsessing over the linens and shoes anyway, but ah well.
LOL I love this post. So candid. I find it all too easy to get completely wrapped up in the hubbaballo that is a wedding, when really, we started this journey with just a boy and a girl. *sigh*
I love the post…it’s so true. When it is all said and done you’re just…married. And that’s the best part.
Hahaha… I’m the anti-perfectionist bride. I have to force myself to care about the details! I’m the least detail-oriented person in the world, and all that I really care about are the basics - that we end up married and everyone has fun! My mom, however, LOVES event planning and is my polar opposite, detail-wise. I think I’m driving her crazy! I’ll tell her about a decision we’ve made, or something we’re thinking about, and she’ll say, “well, did you consider x,y, and z? how about a,b, and c?” And I’m like… “Naaaaah, it’ll be fiiiine”. I can practically hear the steam coming out her ears over the phone!
I’m with you, Miss Glitter. I’ve never planned anything either, and I’m very much a Type-B bride. I’ve got a general concept of what I’d like our wedding to be like and a ton of ideas floating around my head, but I’m lost when it comes to the execution.
No wedding is perfect, and on your wedding day the most important thing is to embrace those imperfections and just have fun! Best of luck to you!
I hear ya girl!! I get overwhelmed with all the choices that I have to make, and when that happens I just try to sit back and envision the day that I will marry him and what it looks like in my mind. It calms me down, and sometimes helps me make decisions
I’m right there with you. Suddenly last night, after months of wedding planning hiatus, I booked my last vendor, and the anxiety jumped in suddenly. It must be that time of the year!
great post. when getting stressed with the countless details that relate to the wedding, i try to remind myself that it’s just a day, and there is another day that will follow. the relationship between me and my fiance, and our marriage is ultimately what matters.
@LzzNYC: Glad you find time to relax and just be with your man. Wedding planning can be all consuming!
@harmonyeee: I’ve gotta start giving roles to everyone. I am currently being a bit of a control freak
@Lindsey: LOL @ all the different shades of pink!
@Miss Gloss: I’m definitely not big on being the center of attention! Can I melt into the background please?!
@Miss Perfume: Thanks for the reassurance, hon. And Mr. G is a man of many lists like Mr. P!
@runrunrun: Oh no! Save your back!! And deleting blogs is great advice. I think you’ve got the right idea!
@MsAnnaLytical: Those are good goals to have! Look great, have a nice wedding, and bring home my husband!
@JennyBryde: Aww, I love that. Just a boy and a girl…so true!
@DCKate: I’m normally such a laid back person, too! That’s why I wrote this post. I’m like, “Hey, where’d I go?! Obsessing over details isn’t really “me”!”
@thelittlethings: I absolutely agree!
@yello: Yay for booking the last vendor! That’s exciting!
I hear ya! I realized along the way that I had anxiety about planning. Self, I said, why is planning a big party for yourself stressful? I realized that I was feeling like less of a bride for not obsessing over ties and linens and invites while other brides seemed to love focusing on small details? I thought, “am I just not bride material?” Then I realized that I my wedding was whatever I wanted it to be and I was choosing to focus on the sentimental details and the ceremony itself and I chose a venue that handled many details for me-and that was okay. I felt like a bridal version of the old SNL sketch Daily Affirmations. “I am a good enough bride, a smart enough bride, and gosh darn, people will love my wedding.” haha
don’t worry about perfection (or imperfection)! take a cue from Mrs Shortcake & Mrs Seabreeze recaps — at the end of the day, despite whatever may go wrong, your guests will probably be only focused on the celebration of you & yr husband, and hey, as long as it looks nice enough in the pictures, who cares?! 
you’re gonna do great! rooting for you - T-90days for me too. eeks
| Visit our sister sites | Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Fertile Thoughts Infertility Support |
Mrs. Glitter, Los Angeles
Age and Occupation: 27, Research Consultant/Writer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Accounting
Engagement Date: May 6, 2007
Wedding Date: June, 2009
Venue: Millenium Biltmore Hotel
About Me: I was born and raised in West Los Angeles, California. I spent eight years in the Northeast working and completing my education. Having split time between two sides of the country has given me a true appreciation for both coasts. It has also provided an overabundance of cross country drives, flights and long distance relationship fun/misery! I love my family, my doggy Emma, fabulous wine, Anthropologie, politics, reading, being outdoors, exploring new cities, and good movies! My fiance and I are complete opposites, but somehow we have managed to fall completely and hopelessly in love.
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
| 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |
| 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 |
| 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |
| 29 | 30 |
Latest Gallery Pics